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People are like stained - glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
I've been on DC since 2007. I have seen just about everything you can imagine on here. I am a "softer" responder. I try to always give good advice with kindness. I genuinely want to help people and never want to hurt someone by the words I type since most people that come to DC are already hurting in some way.
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Wife of 5 years says her heart was always with someone else
Q. I’m just devastated by the news that I just received, and just wondering if I can get perspective from other men and women. My wife and I have been married for 5 years, together for 7. I accepted her 2 children from her previous marriage with op...
A. 23 May 2015: I am so sorry...you sound like a very kind and sweet loving man. You don't deserve this..not at all. Its nothing that you did wrong..nothing at all. Your wife couldn't have what she wanted so she decided to take what she could get and she found ... (read in full...)
Online guy I've been chatting with is missing his teeth and it turns me off. What should I do?
Q. Well I don't want to sound rude but want to know your thoughts and maybe some suggestions I met a guy online and we've been talking for about two months now. I really like him and he seems real nice so far. I would like to further our ...
A. 15 May 2015: I don't blame you for not being attracted. Whatever his reasons may be it certainly would be off putting to most people seeing someone missing alot of teeth.
I don't believe you need to point it out to the man though. I agree that he's well awa... (read in full...)
When is my man likely to feel motivated enough to tell me that he loves me? what could be holding him back?
Q. When will my man say that he loves me? We've been together for 4 months. I've asked some of my girlfriends and they've said he should have said it after about 3 months. We spend every free moment we can together, we have similar interests, he al...
A. 13 May 2015: Ever heard the expression "talk is cheap"?? It is. People say things all the time that they don't mean for whatever reasons. Your relationship is still very young, you are still learning about each other, so I wouldn't be too concerned at this point ... (read in full...)
I dated and broke up with brother 1. Now brother 2 is pursuing me. Is it wrong and what should I do?
Q. Is it wrong to be with someone who pushed you away for a very long time and because you were with his brother and he felt jealous and now he wants you???? I am in love with him but i'm confused... His brother hates me for telling him what happene...
A. 13 May 2015: Not cool in any way, shape or form. Don't do it. ... (read in full...)
My ex wants to be FWB. Should I?
Q. Okay so I need a bit of advice. A good friend of mine, we will call him Mark, used to date me. Another friend, we will call her Amber, decided she was going to be a not so good friend and steal him away. Mark and Amber were together for about 3 ...
A. 12 May 2015: If you care for the guy then going into a FWB relationship is probably the kiss of death. We have had so many girls/ladies come on here stating they have done that..hoping that the guy will eventually start to care..and guess what..he doesn't. He ... (read in full...)
Been dating for 2 years. I'm 19, so why are my parents being so weird about me having sex with my Bf?
Q. I am a 19 year old female and I've recently have been having sex with my boyfriend of 2 years. I lost my virginity to him. Yes, we are being safe and using both birth control and condoms. My parents recently found out because I have been spendi...
A. 10 May 2015: You sound like a smart young woman and also respectful of your parents. You would hope that they would be happy that you are being smart, but I'm a parent and I will be honest, its rather disturbing thinking of your children having sex. I'm afraid ... (read in full...)
Did I do the right thing by canceling this trip to see my friend?
Q. Dear Cupid I just reunited with a friend of mine from years ago.He wanted me to come and visit him in a another state I felt ok about it but this morning I heard a voice telling me this trip I won't be taking my first thought was to run like hell ...
A. 27 April 2015: I think you did the right thing by listening to that little voice. Many times people say they felt they shouldn't do something, but ignored that little voice in their head and then later really regret that they didn't listen!
If you know he wants... (read in full...)
Any advice for me regarding my Girlfriend's actions during her previous relationship re nude photos sent to her now ex?
Q. My girlfriend has sent her nude photos to her ex about 2 years ago and that is over now. she said there was nothing more to that (like sex). She and I are together about a month and I really care for her and she does the same. She told me this bec...
A. 26 April 2015: The smartest thing you can do is put it in the past and LEAVE it there. Most people have a past. Don't you? We all do things with others and then find a new love and maybe wish we hadn't done some things..but you can't turn back the hands of time so ... (read in full...)
My question is should I have unprotected sex with this guy?
Q. My boyfriend has restricted me on his facebook account so I can only see his public page he says he no longer is interested in facebook and does not use it very much -which is a lie because when I go onto facebook on my account I can click on his ...
A. 24 April 2015: Absolutely not. If you're going to have sex please protect yourself. You don't know who he has been with or what he might have been exposed to in the past. Be smart. You can get diseases at ANY age and its always better to be safe than sorry.
... (read in full...)
Short of being completely blunt and rude, how can I discourage his apparent interest in me?
Q. I have to ask because this has been bothering me for more days than I can count.. If anyone has good advice, I would really appreciate it ! There's a guy at work who I am not remotely attracted to. But he seems to be attracted to me. He is a l...
A. 23 April 2015: I agree with AuntyBimBam the best course of action is to always remain business like with any interaction with him from now on. Its best to be polite with a detached kind of exterior and say only what needs to be said, never act overly friendly or ... (read in full...)
Why would a mistress leave her married boyfriend?
Q. What is the #1 reason WHY a mistress will leave a married man she has been seeing for a long time? ...
A. 22 April 2015: I will give 2...I'd say the majority of the time it is one of two things. She wakes up and realizes that despite all the gifts, sweet words etc..he is NEVER going to leave his wife. OR..she finds out that he is cheating on here with a younger, newer ... (read in full...)
I need my fiance to grow up because I have to tell him I'm pregnant!
Q. My fiancee keeps changing his mind about what he wants, and whether he wants our wedding to go ahead, and now I'm pregnant I'm scared he will say he isn't sure if he wants a family. I'm just so confused by his behaviour and I need some advice on how ...
A. 17 April 2015: I think the wisest thing that you can do is to start taking care of yourself and your baby. Go see a doctor, get checked out, start taking vitamins, stop smoking/drinking if you have those habits. If you have family/friends that will support you ... (read in full...)
What should I do about the painful photographs from the past?
Q. I have a slightly odd problem relating to trying to put a relationship - and the past in general - behind me. I have a big bag of photos - both of family and my ex partner (20 years). Problem is, my Mum and Dad were abusive to me and my sister...
A. 15 April 2015: I truly do understand that looking at the photos are painful for you. I would suggest though that you not burn the photos or throw them away without using some means to save them digitally at least. It may not seem like something that you want but ... (read in full...)
The fog has worn off the affair but I love my married boyfriend. It's hard to stay but also hard to leave. What do I do?
Q. I am having a difficult time. No judgment please. Just help. I am the mistress of a married man and I have been for almost 2 years. I have heard it all. Believe me. Nobody can punish me more than I have punished myself. The problem is I am i...
A. 15 April 2015: You aren't happy though are you? So does it really matter if you are in control?? Is this the way you wish to live the rest of your life..really???? You are selling yourself short. I hope you will wake up and see that. I have a man..and he's ... (read in full...)
It turned me off that he accepted my offer to split the bill on our first date!
Q. I went on a first date with a guy I met, we connected and I really liked him, but then he was ok with me paying for my dinner. I offered to pay before he reached for the bill and he said "sure, if you want to." So he told the waiter to split it. He ...
A. 12 April 2015: I'm sorry OP but I can't back you up on this one. If you didn't want to pay and it was going to upset you then you shouldn't have offered..plain and simple. I wouldn't automatically assume that the man was a cheapskate! Perhaps he was not quite sure ... (read in full...)
Is there nothing wrong with this guy?
Q. Is there nothing wrong with this guy? After many men, have to admit, majority of them were not very pleasant experiences with lying, cheating, disrespect, trying to use me solely for sex, ignoring my feelings and putting me through hell, I ...
A. 12 April 2015: I'm sure the man isn't perfect because no one is but there's a good possibility that he's a nice decent guy. Your past experiences have left you doubting (understandable!) every man. Why not just enjoy the ride for as long as it lasts? He treats you ... (read in full...)
He wants casual but I want a relationship, should I give him what he wants?
Q. I feel like im loosing my mind. I met a mysterious guy and we got on so well, he told me he felt comfortable around me, making me feel relieved and srawn even cloaer to him, but recently he told me he only wanted a casual relationship.I'm 18 and ...
A. 11 April 2015: I would walk away from this situation and hold out for what you truly want..a relationship with a nice guy who cares about you and wants more than just sex. This guy was upfront with you and trust me, when a man says he doesn't want a ... (read in full...)
He never says yes or no to the kid question, so I'm wondering if it's worth it?
Q. I've been with partner for 6 years, a year ago we had the kid conversation and it was brought up again recently. Whilst I'm willing to let nature it's course, he has told me he has dreams and aspirations he would like to achieve, It's put me in a ...
A. 9 April 2015: Its time for a serious talk about the future. He's 29 and been with you for 6 years. He has to know whether you are the "one" or not by now. If he can't give you straight answers, then you might want to end things before you wind up waiting another ... (read in full...)
Does he just want sex? I'm too afraid to ask!
Q. I'm confused, I'm not sure if I'm liked as just a friend or sat not, met this guy since wen I was 18, we spoke alot and distant 4 a while till I was 21 at that age he came back, we skyped spoke about us and all , then once I asked wat he wants from ...
A. 8 April 2015: I agree 100% with SVC. There is nothing complicated about this man/relationship at all. When he wants sex he comes to you. When he doesn't, he has no reason to be in contact. If you want more than sex you aren't choosing the right man. ... (read in full...)
My siblings are harassing me to return my inheritance
Q. Hi there, What a great site and an awesome place to come with a problem.So here goes. My mom died in December 2012.My brother was power of attorney and is actually a lawyer and was power of attorney of the estate.My sister was the executor...
A. 6 April 2015: I'm so sorry that you are having these kind of problems with your brother and sister. Don't even try to talk to them anymore. Find yourself an attorney and keep every message, email, etc that they send/have sent to you and let the attorney take ... (read in full...)
Will a married man ever replace his long term mistress with the next best thing?
Q. I am here to ask a question to everyone but WITHOUT JUDGMENT or PREACHING. I know affair posts get everyone very worked up. But I am not here to be crucified. Just to get help. I want to know what you think the answer is. It will help me immensel...
A. 3 April 2015: Yes it is always a possibility. Some men wish to stay married but like the thrill of the dessert they get on the side. The old expression "if he's cheating with you, he will cheat on you". always comes to mind. We don't know this man, I don't even ... (read in full...)
Is it safe to go ahead dating him even though he said he is not ready for a relationship right now? He's going through a divorce
Q. I started seeing this guy who is in the process of getting a divorce about 2 months ago. His divorce will be finalized in about a month. He told me on our fourth date that he had been married for 7 years and for the last 2 years things had gone sour ...
A. 27 March 2015: The odds are you are setting yourself up for heartbreak. Listen to the man..if he tells you that he isn't ready for a relationship..believe him. Men usually say what they mean (unless they are lying/chating)and are quite direct about it. He's being ... (read in full...)
Don't want to lose my friend. Yet what is so wrong in dating my friend's ex-girlfriend?
Q. I'll just go straight to the question. What is so wrong in dating my friend's ex-girlfriend? I mean they are no longer together for 3years now. We both want to go for it,i can bet on that but its just as if we should never cross. She has been m...
A. 26 March 2015: If you can't lose your friend then don't the girl...plain and simple. Its just sort of an unspoken rule that the majority of people don't date a friend's ex. It normally doesn't turn out too well and the friendship doesn't survive. ... (read in full...)
He broke my heart and I can't trust him, but I really want him back!
Q. So I need help getting over my ex, we split up last summer after being together for just over a year as i found out that he had been cheating on me after several times after i had already forgiven him for doing it once before. And the thing that ...
A. 17 March 2015: Try to look at the situation like this..would you walk barefoot over a bed of burning hot coals or broken glass? Of course not right? You could get hurt very badly.
So why even consider going back into a relationship where you were really hurt? Wh... (read in full...)
How can I tell my strict mom I am pregnant?
Q. I found out last week, after nearly two years of desperatelt trying for a baby, that I am five weeks pregnant. I am thrilled...due to medical problems my partner and I had lost hope. My mother, however, is very old school, and dissapproves of having ...
A. 14 March 2015: Ugh..I went through this with my mother. I was 24, had gotten remarried after a horrible first marriage (3 years after the divorce) and I got pregnant after being married about 3 months. My husband and I were so happy! We really wanted a baby. We ... (read in full...)
My long distance boyfriend tells me what to do and doesn't want me talking to other men
Q. I met my LDR boyfriend online on a dating website, I live in a different country. He wants to meet me next year, now i am not comfortable to have sex before marriage. Now he has forcibly made me delete my account on the website right a month we met. ...
A. 13 March 2015: If he isn't with you physically then how can he be forcing you to do something? You are ALLOWING him to control you and tell you what to do. Why is that? Food for thought..if he's this controlling over the internet what on earth do you think he ... (read in full...)
Is it okay to send your boyfriend a video of you masturbating?
Q. Would you consider it okay to send your boyfriend who is away for a few weeks on business a naughty video of you masturbating? Just to keep the spark going and to give him something to look forward to when he comes back?...
A. 10 March 2015: I wouldn't do it. Too many people have come on DC upset saying that their ex decided to put their sexy pics/videos on the internet to share with the world. It sounds good at the time but if things cool down or you break up...yuk. If you are going to ... (read in full...)
My husband blames me for things that I have no control over, he's always mad
Q. I'm not sure what to do here. I've never done this before but I have to talk to someone.... my husband and I have been Together a year. when we were dating things were great but now that we are married not so much. he gets angry alot., like oh ...
A. 8 March 2015: Do you not see what is happening? It is getting worse and worse...He is laughing as you beg him not to hit you? What kind of a man does that?? A man who has to be in control, a man who doesn't care. Ok..so you are mouth and can be a ... (read in full...)
My husband blames me for things that I have no control over, he's always mad
Q. I'm not sure what to do here. I've never done this before but I have to talk to someone.... my husband and I have been Together a year. when we were dating things were great but now that we are married not so much. he gets angry alot., like oh ...
A. 6 March 2015: Oh sweetie...I have been where you are. Please read very carefully what the aunts on here are saying and start taking measures to protect yourself and get out. I was married to a both mentally and physically abusive man for 2 years. I was only 19-21 ... (read in full...)
I'm thinking of my future, my new Mr. Nice Guy can't have and does not want any more kids. I would like to keep that option open, but I really like him!
Q. Dear all, Please help. I have a dillema. Thanks. I recently got out of a really nasty abusive relastionship ( around 6 months ago) which is good news. A few weeks ago, I ment a fantastic guy who is the complete opposite of my ex. Caring, nice , a...
A. 5 March 2015: Many women at your age begin to have feelings of "nesting"..settling down, having a baby. Its very natural. The biological clock starts ticking and well...it can make women feel nervous and as every year goes by, possibly even desperate. Think ... (read in full...)
He called me stupid and fat.
Q. Me and my boyfriend have a long distance relationship. We've been dating two years, see each other over the weekends and communicate a lot by text. Today, my boyfriend was rude to me over the phone, basically hung up on me for no reason, and then ...
A. 27 February 2015: Nip this in the bud NOW. Let him know that in no uncertain terms is he to speak to you in such a manner. Make sure you are very clear on this. If he does it again then tell him you will (what will you do?? Walk away? end things?? whatever it is you ... (read in full...)
I had started to think he was the one but once he got comfortable he was disgusting
Q. I need an advice but deep in my heart, I feel that the impression is irreversible. I have met this guy through common friends. He is his mid 30s, handsome, a doctor, very smart, gentleman and generous person. 2 weeks after I met him we had sex, ...
A. 26 February 2015: Guys don't normally change so forget about that. Most guys when trying to get the girl at least PRETEND to have good manners and don't pick their nose, pick their face, belch, fart and flirt so early in the game. UGH...Sorry..this guy is disgusting ... (read in full...)
Should I reach out to my rich grandfather for help?
Q. I don't come from a wealthy family. The only person in my whole family who has been well off is my grandfather. He's very rich. However, I rarely speak with him. He's a somewhat distant person from our family and I've always felt rather weird around ...
A. 19 February 2015: I am sorry for your hardships right now. Most of us have been ourselves. I wouldn't rea h out to your grandfather. Most older people are wise and he will see right through you and not take too kindly to your request. You might get quite a tongue ... (read in full...)
Can open relationships work?
Q. Hi aunts. I was wondering if anyone had any experience with open relationships -- can they work, is it a viable option? How do you approach the subject? My partner and I have been together over 3 years, living together for 2 and a half years. We...
A. 19 February 2015: Unless both people in the relationship have exactly the same feelings about it being open, it will NEVER work long term. I mean both people being completely honest and expressing EVERYTHING that they want, need and what they expect. Usually one ... (read in full...)
I told my married lover I am free to see others and he said he wants a future with me. Is he stringing me along?
Q. I have been seeing a married man for 5 years I have divorced my husband but my lover is still with his family, he said he cannot leave his children until they are older and less dependant on him, he does idolise his kids.I said I was free to see ...
A. 19 February 2015: You are a mature woman, not a young girl and deep down inside you know how this is all going to play out. You are on here asking for advice but if you are honest with yourself, you don't need our advice. You know what to do but you don't want to do ... (read in full...)
What can I do to help him understand he is ruining our relationship?
Q. Im in a relationship with a younger man there is no doubt on my mind we love each other, he goes to work I am home I rarely go out I pretty much stay to myself before the relationship began I was always surrounded by fam and friends they were always ...
A. 18 February 2015: what can we do to make you see that the relationship is ruined and not worth saving? it appears he has you wrapped around his little finger and no matter what he does you still want him. he cheats so of course he lies. Why don't you save yourself ... (read in full...)
Does anyone in a long term relationship still feel in love/the "spark" with their SO?
Q. I'm curious as to whether or not there are long term couples out there who still feel in love after a long time. I've always been dumped/cheated on once the infatuation period wore off so I'm always paranoid about it. My current relationship is ...
A. 17 February 2015: I've been with my guy for over 13 years. We have had some really rough times (part of it has been long distance and that REALLY can put a strain on even the best relationship). We even broke up once for 2 months even though we both loved each other ... (read in full...)
I told him I don't think he loves me anymore and he told me to stop complaining.
Q. I have been married for 11 years. Marriage is ok, has ups and downs. Every Valentines Day my husband will buy beautiful red roses tall stemmed with baby breath. They are always given in a loving way, usually with a hug and kiss. This year he gave...
A. 14 February 2015: Please do not take my post the wrong way and think I am scolding you....with that being said...roses are roses...flowers are flowers. He REMEMBERED you! Many women/ladies will get nothing on Valentine's Day because their man forgot, or just didn't ... (read in full...)
Am I being selfish when I feel that he's too clingy when perhaps he is being concerned and serious about me?
Q. Hello everyone! I'm 21 and before I left to study abroad (6 month exchange program) I was seeing someone (let's call him B) exclusively for about a month. I did not get into an official relationship with him because I felt that it was difficult to ...
A. 13 February 2015: Trust your instincts. When something doesn't seem right, its normally because it isn't. Who says that they love and want to marry you after a month and you aren't even a couple? Its creepy and weird and he's not being protective, he's being jealous ... (read in full...)
2 years of crazy and we're only teenagers! what should I do?
Q. What should I do? Me and my boyfriend been together for 2 years now. At first, everything was fantastic. Like fairytales, lovey-Dovey for the first year. Second year, things changed. We became more busy, and I have a very busy life compared to his, ...
A. 11 February 2015: I'm sorry that you are in this kind of a relationship. No one should have to deal with this type of abuse, especially one as young as you. Please end things with him. If you don't feel comfortable alone then tell him in an email or a text, or even ... (read in full...)
Our lack of communication is undermining our relationship
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for more than a year now. I love him yet I constantly find myself questioning if he loves me as much as I do towards him. We have gone through so many fights and a couple of breakups within the course of our ...
A. 8 February 2015: Sometimes you just cant fix what is broken and you need to know when to walk away. Walk away..too many problems, not enough glue to hold things together. Just because you love someone doesn't mean that they are right for you. I'm sorry, but the ... (read in full...)
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