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People are like stained - glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
I've been on DC since 2007. I have seen just about everything you can imagine on here. I am a "softer" responder. I try to always give good advice with kindness. I genuinely want to help people and never want to hurt someone by the words I type since most people that come to DC are already hurting in some way.
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I've planned a very elaborate threesome with my bf and another girl, but could still do with some advice..
Q. Hi all. The live-in boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. We are very solid, trust each other completely, with little to no jealousy whatsoever, and we have a great sex life. So after about 6 months of discussion, we've finally decided to ...
A. 26 November 2016: I will start off by saying that I've been on DC almost 10 years now and these threesomes never work out too well. Its usually the woman who winds up getting jealous and hurt. At least 75% of the time a threesome leads to a breakup. Don't believe me? ... (read in full...)
What does my best friend want from me? He is married but keeps asking for a secret relationship
Q. He is married for 7 months. And he wants me to be in secret relationship with him. We are close friends since very long time and back in our college days we used to like each other not genuinely but just like crush on each other. We got so ...
A. 24 November 2016: OP, I hope you aren't so naive that you don't know what the guy wants but if you need it spelled out for you..he wants sex. He wants his wife and he wants you to be his little fling on the side, free extra sex/excitement. I hope that you are ... (read in full...)
How can I help myself? I am so confused. Our relationship has problems, but I do love him.
Q. I think my relationship is over.... I found out that my man is registered with a site called ^^^chat. I confronted him 6 months later, he swore on his mum's life and his children from previous marriage that it was not him. few months later in ...
A. 22 November 2016: I agree with WiseOwl on all points. Sweetie, you aren't confused. You're scared. You desperately try to hold onto a relationship that you know is over and you know he needs to be kicked to the curb but the thought of being alone isn't something that ... (read in full...)
The guy who meant nothing to her in her past got to live out his fantasy while I, despite being her boyfriend, don't get the same privilege. Isn't it unfair?
Q. I guess the question I have is what do I do? About 3 years ago before my girlfriend met me she had sex with a girl while a guy she occasionally hooked up with watched. They were all out at the pub and the girl was interested in her and the guys ...
A. 21 November 2016: I understand that you feel hurt/disappointed/jealous about something that your girlfriend did in the past but won't do now..BUT...if you can't handle her wishes with grace then you shouldn't be with her. She owes you nothing and she's told you that ... (read in full...)
My ex friend is giving out my number to everyone until I apologize
Q. On Halloween I had a falling out with a couple friends when I got kicked out of a frat party for not paying to get in and they ignored me for the rest of the night. For a couple days after that I was angry at them and just completely ignored their ...
A. 16 November 2016: I know it might be a pain but the first thing I'd do is change my number, block her on any social media sites and move on. She's immature, sounds a little malicious and definitely isn't someone that I'd consider a friend. ... (read in full...)
Do women like men with deep voices?
Q. This girl at work, she's a sweetheart, always looks so positive and full of energy. I've been feeling like she avoids me a lot, so one day I talked to her about it and though she was really friendly, she said that i was a bit intimidating, my voice ...
A. 16 November 2016: Your question is like many questions on here, the answer depends on the person. Some ladies will like deep voices, some may not. A deep voice can be intimidating depending on the circumstances, but for the most part I find a man's deep voice to be ... (read in full...)
Facebook jealousy is making me resentful and bitter
Q. I saw a question posted a while back similar to this, as I seem to have the same problem. I recently had to deactivate my Facebook account because everyone posting constantly about their wonderful lives is making me really jealous and resentful of ...
A. 15 November 2016: I'm not a fan of facebook, never have been, never will be. Its very easy for people to get on there and PRETEND that they are who they WISH they were. It doesn't mean what they put is true. It seems to me like very needy "look at me" people tend to ... (read in full...)
Our fights have become over the top!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years now. We have had our ups and downs. On occasion, I have had to walk away and take a "break," because the arguments become so personal and heated and so incredibly loud, and I cannot stand the insults any ...
A. 14 November 2016: Wow, your boyfriend sounds rather like my ex. He always told me that because he never hit me, he didn't abuse me. There is physical abuse and then there is mental abuse. They aren't the same but both are very hurtful and both can cause damage. My ex ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend said "love ya" instead of "I love you". Is there a difference?
Q. So my boyfriend has told me the L word. But he said "Love ya" instead of "I love you." Is there a difference?...
A. 12 November 2016: I don't think there is a difference, love ya is just a little less informal, more playful. My husband and I say it both ways depending on our moods. ... (read in full...)
Am I crazy to think my abusive husband might change? I'm pregnant and don't want to break up
Q. I have been married to my husband for 4 years now and we just found out we are pregnant. 8weeks along. He has been mentally and physically abusive in the past. He's locked me out of the house and I stayed with my parents for a long while. He has ...
A. 6 November 2016: If you don't read anything else I write, read this...it will NOT get better and the odds are he will get worse! Start thinking about life without him NOW and make plan for you and your unborn child.
I walked this road many years ago. I was youn... (read in full...)
What do ladies think of men who shave everywhere because they are hairy?
Q. What do girls feel about guys who shave their whole body neck to toe because they are overly hairy everywhere otherwise?...
A. 6 November 2016: It shouldn't be about what others want, it should be about what YOU like and feel comfortable with. If you feel the need the shave, then do so. If not, then don't. As stated already, everyone has their own preferences. Some women like hairy men, ... (read in full...)
Husband took advantage of my drunken state
Q. I'm not really sure what to do. Two nights ago, my husband and I went to a party. I drank, he did not. I drank a little too much and was barely functioning. We came home and had sex. He went soft so I rolled over and passed out. Next thing I know, ...
A. 31 October 2016: Of COURSE you bring it up! Your husband had sex without your consent? That's rape honey, any way you look at it. You tell him in no uncertain terms does he EVER try that stunt again. Its called respect. Make sure you get it from him or get out. What ... (read in full...)
High heels during sex...yay or nay?
Q. This question is for you women out there. I really want to know if high heels are a sexual turn on for you girls or not? I love them and I want my wife to wear them every time during sex. But she doesn't!! It's the single most sexual turn on for me. ...
A. 31 October 2016: I used to wear high heels every day, we're talking 5" or higher because I'm a little gal. They are meant to elong the leg and yes look sexy. What most men don't know is how much they HURT and can cause damage to the muscles in the leg, the toes, ... (read in full...)
What rights do I have as a grandparent?
Q. Dear Cupid, I am a grandparent of a now 2 year old grandson.My grandson is constantly in and out of CPS because my daughter is involved with the child's father and he is the one abusing him.Now I am trying to get visitation rights and she told the ...
A. 30 October 2016: I don't have any specifics but I have read of cases in the US and grandparents have fought for their rights to see their grandchildren. From what I understand, the parents cannot refuse for the grandparents to spend time with the children unless the ... (read in full...)
I've never dated and have started wondering what's the point?
Q. A bit of background info. I'm a 25 year old guy whose never been on a date or with a girl at all. For as long as long as I can remember i've severely lacked the confidence in myself to approach a girl i like let alone ask her out and the few times I ...
A. 29 October 2016: Dating/being in love is a tricky thing...there are no guarantees. You are taking a risk, that's for sure. Maybe you'll get lucky..and then again maybe you won't. Most of us have had failures/heartbreak and disappointments. I know very people that ... (read in full...)
I'm a bit apprehensive about reuniting with my long distance boyfriend
Q. I'm in a long distance relationship at the moment. We hadn't been together a great amount of time before going long distance (4/5 months) anyway we've been apart for 2 months now and have less than a month til we see each other again. We havent b...
A. 29 October 2016: I've been in several LD relationships, and I know exactly what you are going through, its very natural! The thing is though, if the two of you have a strong bond it will be fine when you see each other again. My guy and I had to be apart once for ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend's clothes are, 'Not acceptable to me'.
Q. Me and my gf are recently fighting over this issue that is her "Clothes". Sometimes she wears disgusting dresses which are revealing and I really don't like it. When I tell her not to wear such dresses she doesn't listen and gets agitated. The dres...
A. 20 October 2016: I don't want to get into the religion part because I truly know very little about Muslin relgion. I know the women are supposed to dress a certain way and apparently your girlfriend is not. I don't know how she can be getting away with this but ... (read in full...)
I'm having second thought about marriage
Q. My boyfriend has proposed to me, and even though I said yes, I'm now not sure whether I did the right thing. Last year my boyfriend admitted to sleeping with 3 other girls in the first year of our relationship. He told me that he wanted me to know ...
A. 13 October 2016: Trust your feelings. Listen to his friends and your friends. There has to be a reason why they have doubts about you getting married. Call off the marriage, or at least postphone it. ALWAYS go with your gut instincts. I made the mistake of marrying ... (read in full...)
Am I being mistreated? Is this emotional abuse?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for 2 years. I don’t know if this is emotional abuse or if there is something I can do to fix the problem. This morning I had gone to make a shake for him and when I poured the material inside ...
A. 11 October 2016: If you are walking around afraid of your partner's reaction to thing you do or do not do, then yes, it is emotional abuse. It won't get better and many times it will get worse leading to physical abuse. I lived this life. He has anger issues! He is ... (read in full...)
Will he ever make me a priority in his life? Should I move on?
Q. We met online, he said that he thought I was a homebody by my profile. Technically I am - I spend most of my weekdays Netflixing and Gaming, I just like to do things once in awhile. When I was in college I was in a two clubs and a Sorority and thr...
A. 8 October 2016: Aw hun, I'm sorry..you've got yourself a dud. He has no intention of putting you first but since you have been going on and putting up with him, he thinks his behavior is ok. It isn't. I don't think he's going to change and you are wasting your ... (read in full...)
How long does it take somebody to get over nonstop lying, cheating & betrayal??
Q. Hi All!! Im praying that somebody out there will have some answers to my massive confusion in my relationship. 4 months after starting a relationship with the guy im still with currently. He proposed to me. I accepted due to being massively head ...
A. 1 October 2016: As long as it takes for the person to wake up and realize that they shouldn't be in a relationship with a liar and a cheater. Its been 3 years..have you woke up yet? ... (read in full...)
Had a bad last day at work and my boyfriend just made jokes about it instead of listening. Would a good partner react this way?
Q. Hi members. I think my boyfriend is selfish and not understanding in this situation I will write about. What do you guys think? Would a good boyfriend react this way?? It was the last day of my job today and after telling him I had a bad day at...
A. 30 September 2016: I am a very sensitive person and I tend to feel things more than others and read things into situations sometimes BUT I also have a sense of humor and realize that sometimes I really am being a little too sensitive.
I wasn't there so I don't kn... (read in full...)
Do I back off and hope he'll approach me? Or do I make a move and tell him how I feel? Eight year age difference.
Q. I have posted about this before so some of you may be familiar with my story. Just need a bit more advice. I met a guy, he is a PT at my gym. Cutting a long story short. There seems to be an attraction due to the way he looked at me. I did not li...
A. 29 September 2016: You know what they say..nothing ventured, nothing gained! What is the worst that will happen? He won't be interested? It might be a little awkward for awhile if that should happen, but at least you would know. So honey..go for it!
I just turned 5... (read in full...)
Would it be acceptable to ask if our family could go again to their vacation home?
Q. I have known a couple for a very long time and used to see them often, but for the last couple of years it seems like they only want to get together once a year. My family used to borrow their vacation house-- we haven't been in about 5 years. Do...
A. 23 September 2016: Its different if its family or a very close friend, but I wouldn't ask someone that I only see once a year and tbh if I was the couple I would be a little bit taken back if someone asked me that kind of a favor after having very limited contact. It ... (read in full...)
I don't want to cut all contact with him. But he has been distant with me ever since I asked if he was interested in anything serious. What do I do now?
Q. Hi everyone. I hope someone can shed some light on my situation. Recently, due to a change in jobs, my weekends are free, giving me more time to go out and socialise. Back in April, I went out to a local pub with my best friend where I bump...
A. 23 September 2016: If you don't want to be his FWB gal then end it and move on. He isn't willing to give you any more than that and you are only hurting yourself by hanging around waiting to see if he will change his mind. Block, delete and move on..he belongs in the ... (read in full...)
At 47 am I too short, or too big, or not pretty enough to ever be asked out by a guy?
Q. I am in my 40s I never thought I was pretty or good enough to date any guys. I had never went on date before, no guys ever ask me out Sometimes I think there something wrong with me I guess I am pretty enough for any guys to ask me out, or smart...
A. 15 September 2016: Have you ever heard the expression "there is someone for everyone"? It rings pretty true. All of us have our own tastes, our own preferences and thank heavens for variety! I have skinny women, short women, tall women, tatooed women, really heavy ... (read in full...)
He got a strip dance and lied to me about it. Should I stay or move on?
Q. 29 F dating 1.5 years. We talked about how I did not like strip dances. I told him I was fine with him going with friends, but not get a dance. He ended going with just his best friend and went to a private room and got a dance. He lied to me ab...
A. 8 September 2016: You can look at the situation like a baseball game...
1. You asked him not to do something, setting down some ground rules and he must have agreed in some way shape or form or at least led you to believe he would honor your wishes.
2. He b... (read in full...)
Should I say anything to my best friend about her new relationship?
Q. Just wondering what people's thoughts are on this. My best friend has been single almost constantly for 10 years and obviously at times this has got her really down and I've often had to pick up the pieces. She saw a guy briefly for about three ...
A. 7 September 2016: I would stay out of it. Unless you know something really terrible about him (drugs, criminal record, beating his ex or kids)..this is her business. She may have lowered the bar for standards in dating or perhaps she just really likes the man..only ... (read in full...)
My Cheating Girlfriend.... What do I do?
Q. So here it. As I write this my girlfriend is at 35,000ft with the guy she has been cheating on me with on their way to Tenerife. I had been with my girlfriend for almost 7 years. For a couple of months now I had suspected she was cheating a...
A. 7 September 2016: I'm sorry that you are hurting. Many of us on DC have been cheated on, and it just hurts. I've always wished that there was a magic pill that you could take to just erase the pain but sadly there isn't.
BREATHE...take a deep breath and tell you... (read in full...)
I just found out that the LDR guy I'd been dating is married and has a kid. I've blocked him but should I give him a chance to explain?
Q. Dear Cupid, I found out yesterday that the guy I’m with is married and has a child. I blocked him in wechat and whatsapp. It was such a disastrous feeling with I saw his Facebook of his wife and the child’s photos and not forgetting his we...
A. 2 September 2016: No you're better off just walking away and putting this experience in the rear view mirror. If you give him a chance to explain it will only leave the door open for more lies. What could he possibly say? You dodged a bullet. ... (read in full...)
Met him on a dating app, he's perfect but I'm too self-conscious to meet him!
Q. Long story so I'll try to shorten it as much as possible. So I matched with this guy on tinder 10 months ago. We messaged for 18 hours non stop, slept for 3 then started again. It was an incredible instant connection. If I could describe my perf...
A. 18 August 2016: If he has talked to you for 10 months, do you really believe that he's only into you because of your looks when you've never met? I really kind of doubt it. The sad part is that you aren't being fair to yourself or to him. If you really care about ... (read in full...)
Dare I tell this younger woman how I feel?
Q. hi, my name is Roger. I am a 70 yr old man and I have become very friendly with a Romanian woman for over a year now, who is 31, and also married I can honestly say I have never got on so well with a woman in all my life we do many things together...
A. 8 August 2016: I say this with respect...do not pursue your feelings on this. She is young enough to be your daughter and more than anything else, she is married. Please do not do something that might embarrass yourself and almost certainly will embarrass her. If ... (read in full...)
I'm worried about getting pregnant if we have sex.
Q. im a 13 year old girl and i need help!! me and my boyfriend both want to have sex but we dont know if we should. We have talked about it before but we cant decide. we have seen eah other naked before and we have fooled around naked a lot. but we d...
A. 6 August 2016: Please think things over very carefully before you do something that could change your life forever. At 13, your body and your minds are not ready for sex. You may think that you are, but you really aren't mature enough to handle all the emotions ... (read in full...)
Will a man automatically fancy a younger women than once closer to his age?
Q. Hello, I'm 37 years old and I fancy a guy of 45 who I suspect fancies me too. However, there is a pretty girl of 26 that also likes him. Will he automatically fancy her more because she is younger? When I found out she liked him I have been avoiding...
A. 27 July 2016: There is no cut and dried answer for this. It depends on the man, his preferences, his needs, his wants. If he has been married before and has children, then he might be very happy with a woman closer to his own age. If he has never had children, ... (read in full...)
Does my obliging nature cause women to think I'm too boring a guy, for them?
Q. Am I boring in relationships, I like going out dancing to live bands, taking walks in parks, going shopping,going to movies, holding hands, nice places to go eat, I like cooking, if a woman needs help at her place, I can do a lot when it comes to ...
A. 25 July 2016: I agree with Youwish, you sound like a lovely man! I really appreciate a man who treats a lady with love, kindness and respect. Is it possible you are trying too hard? We can't see how you act with the ladies so we only know what you tell us. It is ... (read in full...)
Should I disown her for rejecting my name?
Q. This may be an inappropriate question for this site but I am furious with my daughter. She is 29 and she has recently announced that she plans to get a legal name change, and I am boiling mad. I have a mind to disown her. Even though her mom and I ...
A. 11 July 2016: I honestly think you are as my son would say "Butt hurt" and need to get over it. You are the one being immature, not your daughter. Why can't she change her name?? I HATE the name my parents gave me even though I know that they carefully picked out ... (read in full...)
Eight weeks pregnant. Angry abusive father to be. I'm crying a lot. What can I do?
Q. Hi I feel completely lost and don't know what to do. I've been with my boyfriend for a year. We have been living together and I recently found out that I'm pregnant (I am 8 weeks gone) and have decided to keep the baby. Me and my boyfriend do...
A. 9 July 2016: What if he hits you when you are pregnant? What if he hits the child?? I lived with an abusive man..it starts slowly and escalates. The day I came home from work and was walking up the street and heard him screaming at our 18 month old baby was the ... (read in full...)
All I've met is harsh judgement. But I need advice and some support on what to do in my situation. Help, please?
Q. OK first of all please don't judge me on this but I got with my boyfriend while he was still married, he is now separated from his wife and with me. I guess he had fell out of love by the time he met me. There is 20 years difference between ...
A. 5 July 2016: The smartest thing that you can do is to take your child and get away from this man. He isn't offering you love, its him being in CONTROL of you and our life. That's not love and it can very quickly turn very ugly. Men like that want to have control ... (read in full...)
Would you go to a reunion with a brother who blames you for Dad's alcoholism?
Q. Hello, I am the youngest of four. I have two older sisters and a brother. My dad passed away in 2008 and my mom in 2013. When my dad passed away my brother called me two days later blaming me for his death. He died of a bad liver due to drinking. My ...
A. 27 June 2016: My ex husband was an alcoholic. Unless there is a gun being pointed at their head, no one makes an alcoholic drink except themself. Its an illness and they have to be able to stop themself. They will use excuses but the truth is that they drink ... (read in full...)
Help! What can I say? I'm a gay female being set up at work ! I'm scared and unsure what to do.
Q. Im a single GAY female over 40 and today at work as I walked in tea room I overheard her talking to another manager about setting me up with a 26 yr old asian guy who used to work with us and who likes me! And how I am " over 40" The other mana...
A. 21 June 2016: Aw sweetie...I'm sorry this has happened to you but don't freak out ok? As bad it sounded overhearing them talk about you, perhaps it was better because at least things didn't just come crashing down around you and you not have a clue it was going ... (read in full...)
Why did my boyfriend tell me to be a good girl while he is overseas on a trip?
Q. My boyfriend is travelling overseas to visit his family. He just texted me before boarding the plane saying he will miss me and that he'd see me in a few weeks. Then he told me to be a good girl for him while he is gone. That he will be a go...
A. 18 June 2016: My boyfriend (now husband) used to travel alot, especially overseas sometimes for 2 weeks at a time. At the airport, he would always smile and say "Now be a good girl while I'm gone" and we would both laugh. It was just a joke between us nothing ... (read in full...)
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