A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone I have been sleeping with my fwb for a few months now I have began to have very strong feelings for him and I'm pretty sure he feels the same as he calls me babe all the time texts me kisses when we meet up its not just for sex he gives me lifts to places if he sees me when he comes round he sometimes just cuddles me nothing else we live very close by to each other and he is always commenting on how weird it is living so close to each other I have asked him about us being together but he only just a few months ago came out of a long term relationship he's been hurt I also have he said it wasn't me he just didn't want to be with anyone not just me do you think he will change his mind and am I reading to much into these signs with wishfull thinking please give me your opinions on this situation and advice on what to do please I'm going crazy I like him so much by the way he's 35 and I'm coming up 25 he says age doesn't bother him thank you
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female
reader, RedAthena  +, writes (11 August 2011):
 He already gets what he wants from the arrangement with you.
Could he change his mind? Sure, but most likely it will not be with you, because you have already been compartmentalized into the FWB category.
As FWB's you are both breaking simple groundrules to have intimicies by having bf like moves on you. Favors, kissing, cuddles, texts.
No wonder you have feelings. All that extra stuff messes with your head.
He does not want the responsiblity or accountability of a relationship..just the benefits.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 August 2011):
 you want more than he does so you will easily read into his actions and behaviors and see what you want...
if he wanted more you would have more...
I started seeing my current BF back in November as a FWB sort of thing (on the side of a marriage) and by February he KNEW he wanted me in his life full time permanently... and he did what he needed to do to make that happen... Men who want a woman as a partner make it happen... men who want sex just make her think it's going to happen.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2011): I agree with Xanthic. He can screw you without a relationship so why would be commit to one?
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A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (11 August 2011):
 Of course the age difference doesn't bother him, you're a young woman willing to have sex with him without a relationship. If he truly saw you as a potential girlfriend he would pursue you as one, but he's not. To him you're just a friend with benefits, meaning he comes to you when he feels like getting off. He may say and do nice things once in a while, but that really doesn't mean anything. It's what friends do. Bottom line, he's using you for sex and intends to keep it that way. It's never going to turn into something more because in his mind, there's no reason to put in more effort when he's already getting what he wants. In the future, if you really like someone and want to be in a relationship with them, keep your legs closed until you're at least dating.
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