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... Send *onungalungb a private message | | | *onungalungb's profile:I'm currently single, with an 8 year old son. I've lived a fairly interesting life and have a fair amount of experience in relationships to offer advice to anyone that cares to listen.
My advice falls into four categories:
Good
Not So Good
Funny
Serious
I try to keep most of my responses on the lighter side, unless the situation calls for a more serious tone.
Don't get pissed off and email me if you don't like what I have to say. I'm just having fun. |
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In the last month..we barely talk now! I am deeply upset...what is going on with this guy?
Q. I writing here for help because i so badly need it. I feel like I'm lost in a never ending situation. I can't find ANYONE who can help me. I have even tried help lines and all that where you speak to actual counsellors but after talking to them for ...
A. 13 January 2007: It sounds like he has lost interest for one reason or another. Maybe he sees that you are too emotionally attached, and that might scare him. And even though you are miles apart, he may feel like you are smothering him. He might just be busy with ... (read in full...)
If we can't agree on a religion, where do we stand? How will it affect us, down the road?
Q. Hi Everyone, if 2 people are in love with each other but yet cant agree into one religion. where do we stand?...
A. 12 January 2007: Nobody says that to be in love you have to share the same religion. . . unless the religions are diametrically opposed to one another. I've known happily married couples that went to different churches and religion wasn't an issue. However, if/when ... (read in full...)
He keeps touching my vagina.... why!?
Q. My problem is this, I have been dating my boyfriend for 2 years now and he has this habit of constantly touching my private parts (vagina), he says that it is his to touch, this is really starting to irritate me, I have spoken to him about it before ...
A. 12 January 2007: Your first statement pretty much says it all . . . "that it is his to touch." He views you as his personal property. . . and obviously doesn't respect you very much.
If you can't stand it, tell him. If he continues, show him the door. Simple solu... (read in full...)
15 and secretly agreed to marry my secret boyfriend!
Q. Im 15 years old and my boyfriend who ive been with for two years asked me to marry him, on christmas eve. Ive said yes and although we are keeping our relationship secret from everyone else because were afraid they'll ruin it i have decided i want ...
A. 12 January 2007: O.K. You started dating at 11. You really are mature. LOL. I have a question. Where are your parents? An 11 year old that is dating is too much for me to fathom.
Go back to my first response and follow my advice. You'll thank me one day. ... (read in full...)
15 and secretly agreed to marry my secret boyfriend!
Q. Im 15 years old and my boyfriend who ive been with for two years asked me to marry him, on christmas eve. Ive said yes and although we are keeping our relationship secret from everyone else because were afraid they'll ruin it i have decided i want ...
A. 10 January 2007: Stop it. Stop it now.
Do like Kenny says. Go out and do what other teenagers are doing (whatever that is), and live your life.
Getting married or even just getting tied down at 15 is crazy. YOU ARE TOO YOUNG!!!!
Cut and save this column and r... (read in full...)
How do I help my grieving wife?
Q. how can i help my wife whos just lost her dad. She was extremely close to him and is absolutly distrought. She gets upset an awfull lot which i can understand but she tends to hold it all back and it really hurts me to see her like that because you ...
A. 10 January 2007: That's a tough one. . . .
This is where I think religion helps soothe the pain of losing someone close to you, or, in this case, soothe your wife's pain.
If she has a pastor, or spiritual leader who she can talk to, maybe that will help ease her... (read in full...)
I'm down! Is it because I don't know what to do with my future, career-wise?
Q. I keep getting negative thoughts and feeling slightly emotional, allthough I don't cry. It gets worse usually when it gets dark, and i feel no hope and have nothing too look forward too. I am happy around my girlfriend but not so much my family and ...
A. 9 January 2007: Everyone needs a purpose in life. A reason to get up in the morning. If what you do isn't working for you, maybe some change is in order.
Consider going to church; getting involved in a charity; doing something to help people less fortunate than... (read in full...)
Husband wants me to have sex with my friend. Is this normal?
Q. My husband wants me to have sex with my girlfriend. Is He normal?...
A. 9 January 2007: What do you think?... (read in full...)
Im not sure I trust him. What should I do?
Q. hi, im 22 and my bf is 25, this is my 2nd serious relationship and his first. the problem is that he doesnt trust me at all, i dont really know what to do, its got to the point that i dont go anywhere without him unless he knows where i am...he ...
A. 8 January 2007: Drop him like a rock.
He's an insecure control freak. He wants to pin you into his butterfly case. . . but butterflies are meant to be free.
Free yourself now, while you still can. . . .
Good luck!
p.s. - Watch the movie "The Collect... (read in full...)
My bad depressing 2006 is spilling over into 2007...
Q. hi all, im not sure where to start, i had a real bad year last year , so far this year is not too bad.. but i cant seem to keep my head high and a smile on my face, ive been depressed before but it doesnt feel the same..just wishing something good ...
A. 8 January 2007: You should see a therapist/doctor and try to get some help. Depression is treatable. There's no need to suffer in silence.
Good luck.... (read in full...)
Husband can't control his own finances so he leaches off mine and lies about it! Please someone give me advice on what to do.
Q. My husband had a heart attack in September followed by quadrupple bypass surgery. While I have suspected serious financial difficulties - my suspicions weren't nearly as monumental as what I found while he was in the hospital. When I went to clean ...
A. 8 January 2007: I think you need to see an accountant and a lawyer. Before you pull up stakes and move on with your life alone, you need to make sure there isn't a paper trail dragging along behind you.
Good luck!... (read in full...)
We went out for his birthday and he got drunk and let a girl touch all over him! I felt so stupid and small.
Q. Hi there, Just wondered peoples opinions on this situation. I have been seeing a guy for a couple of months now I am having doubts because of something he did which to be honest made me feel very small. It was his birthday and we met up with ...
A. 8 January 2007: I assume she approached him. Most guys are flattered by such attention. Did he say whether he knew the girl from before? If he went with you and left with you, that's a good sign. You told him not to worry about it, and that's probably the best ... (read in full...)
I'm 19 and never had sex! I want it so what do I have to do?
Q. Ok here's the deal I'm nearly 19 and I've still never had sex with a guy or even had oral. I know loads of you are gonna give me rubbish bout not popping my cherry with anyone and how special it is and how normal I am but no offence I really don't ...
A. 7 January 2007: Here's my advice:
Go to a club. Check out the guys. Pick out the one you think is hot. Give him the "look". If he's interested, he'll ask you if you want a drink. Accept his offer. Dance. Smile a lot. Laugh at all of his jokes, whether they're funn... (read in full...)
I know it makes you blind, but is this another side effect?
Q. Is it true that when you masturbate it kills thousnads of brain cells?...
A. 7 January 2007: Juliette,
I just read the article that you posted a link to and I never read anything in it that said anything about circumcized men finding it inconvenient to masterbate. What does having or not having your foreskin have anything to do with conv... (read in full...)
I know it makes you blind, but is this another side effect?
Q. Is it true that when you masturbate it kills thousnads of brain cells?...
A. 6 January 2007: Alcohol kills thousands of brain cells. . . masturbation doesn't. It doesn't even make you go blind. I can actually see quite well, thank you. . . .... (read in full...)
bf has a psychologicial issues and won't get help. Any suggestions of what I can do to help?
Q. My BF of 8 years won't go see a councilor about his psycological issues. Is there anything I can do at home to help him?? He suffers from inferiorty and guilt complex, phobias, fears and some anxiety. Any recommendation to self help CD's/tapes is ...
A. 6 January 2007: Check out Lucinda Bassett's program. I know of a couple people who have used her program and it has helped. . . without medication.
http://www.stresscenter.com/lucinda.htm
Good luck!... (read in full...)
Why do they always shoot their load so soon? Is it me?
Q. Why is it that everytime i have sex with a man they always ejaculate too quickly? Is it me or what? Im getting rather frustrated over this....
A. 6 January 2007: Where do you live?
I don't want to know.
It's off to the cold shower for me. . . .
Seriously. How old are the guys you are with? I think most guys past 25 know how to control themselves to some extent. Here's a trick I use. Right ... (read in full...)
I have feelings for my teacher!
Q. I've recently got quite close to one of my teachers from school (I'm 21 now). We'd had each others email addresses from school and had kept in touch through that for some time as we had got on really well at school but, over the last few months we ...
A. 5 January 2007: Hi. I've dated women half my age, or almost anyway. So I don't see that as big of an issue as other's might. I don't act or look my age, so that helps. LOL.
The only issue I see is the fact that he has a live-in girlfriend. I've always been a one ... (read in full...)
My husband pre-ejaculates - what could be the problem?
Q. Thank you to everyone who answered my last Q. Maybe you can help me with another. My husband always pre-ejaculates and doesn't know why. what would his problem be. Maybe then he wouldn't be so insecure when it came to loving me....
A. 5 January 2007: Do you mean he cums before you have sex (premature ejaculation)? Or that he discharges some pre-ejaculatory fluid before you have sex? If the latter is the case, that's natural. If it's the former, he needs to relax. Maybe he should masturbate a ... (read in full...)
She is sexually experienced, I wasn't!
Q. I am an 19 year old college student and have been with my girlfriend for 7 months. We are very serious and I love her to death, but I have a problem getting over her past. She is 21 and has had sex with 5 guys between age 18 and 21 (lost her ...
A. 5 January 2007: Personally, I don't think that is so bad. If you do, then you have to deal with it. I started having sex at 15 with a 13 year old (who was built like a 25 year old - LOL), so I'm not exactly the bastion of virtue. Sex is sex. It's fun. It's ... (read in full...)
Walked in on my boyfriend bashing the bishop...
Q. I went into the room that my bf was at and caught him masterbating. He had pictures taped on the wall, all of them with blonde hair. (his ex gf has blonde hair) He got upset with me, like I was interupting him!! I went out of there real fast. Was ...
A. 4 January 2007: Lilly,
Only one. LOL. ... (read in full...)
It's hard to get my circumsised bf to cum - any advice?
Q. Hey please help me, my boyfriend and I have been going out 6 months, we're both 15. He is circumcised, so I know it's harder for him to cum. The other weekend I gave him my first blowjob and handjob. I didn't make him cum. Is it possible to make him ...
A. 4 January 2007: I've been circumcised all of my life and never had any problem in the cuming department, so I never knew it was harder. You learn something new every day. LOL.
As far as techniques go, I've never had a bad blowjob. I'll let a female answer that... (read in full...)
I'm worried to sleep with my boyfriend because I'm worried about how my labia minora's look!!
Q. I need your advice, im 17 and thinking about sleeping with my bf for the first time. the problem is im really embarressed as i have large labia minora's that hang down outside the lips of my vagina. Im really insecure about them and i dont know what ...
A. 4 January 2007: Ah yes, the bearded clam. LOL.
Don't sweat it. He'll be so tickled to see you naked, he won't care if you have a wooden leg.
... (read in full...)
Walked in on my boyfriend bashing the bishop...
Q. I went into the room that my bf was at and caught him masterbating. He had pictures taped on the wall, all of them with blonde hair. (his ex gf has blonde hair) He got upset with me, like I was interupting him!! I went out of there real fast. Was ...
A. 4 January 2007: Sorry Lilly, but I have to disagree with your cake analogy. If I have a woman in my life, and things are going well, I enjoy preparing the ingredients, mixing the batter, and frosting the cake. You see it's not really work if you enjoy it. Contrary ... (read in full...)
How can we get my ex to stop harassing us without the police?
Q. I ended a 13 yr relationship about 8 months ago. We were together since we were just teenagers and in growing up, we just grew apart. I started seeing another man about 6 months ago, and since then the ex has been making things as difficult as he ...
A. 4 January 2007: Anything short of a baseball bat to the side of the head might not work. The best way to deal with a bully is to face him. The only way he can chase you, is if you run. Ask him what the problem is and tell him if he continues to harrass you and your ... (read in full...)
I'm finding it so hard to get over him. Please help
Q. I would just like to know how i can get over my EX? we were together 2years and loved eachother deeply but over the length of time i messd up. I never once cheated on him and i believe he never cheated on me but he has simply had enough of my "ga...
A. 4 January 2007: Been there.
You are awfully young to be so involved in a relationship. But you are, and you're hurting, and it is tough. Try to move forward. It helps if you have friends that can get you out and about to meet new people.
As my mother used to ... (read in full...)
I don't like sex, but he's pushing me even though i'm ill. What can I do?
Q. Hi, My Husband says that if i don't sleep with him, then i don't love him. I don't like sex, but he does get at least twice a week. i also recently had a back operation which makes things a bit difficult, but he doesn't see it that way. If i am sick ...
A. 4 January 2007: It sounds like he treats you as an orifice. Find someone that respects you. Your husband obviously doesn't.
Good luck.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend dumps me for the second time. Why does he carry on doing this?
Q. dear agony aunt, my boyfriend dumped me again for the second time but told me 2 days later that he made a mistake and that he wants me back, he says he really loves me and doesnt know why he did it. he said that we would talk when he got back from ...
A. 4 January 2007: Because he's an insensitive jerk that only wants you around when it's convenient for him. Lose him. ... (read in full...)
Walked in on my boyfriend bashing the bishop...
Q. I went into the room that my bf was at and caught him masterbating. He had pictures taped on the wall, all of them with blonde hair. (his ex gf has blonde hair) He got upset with me, like I was interupting him!! I went out of there real fast. Was ...
A. 4 January 2007: Why is he spanking his monkey when he has you around? That would be my question to him. If he's satisfying himself and not you, then you've both got a problem that needs to be addressed.
I doubt if he was fantasizing about his ex. It seems to me t... (read in full...)
Why am I so jealous and insecure?
Q. Why am i so jealous and insecure? Im 22 years old and have been with my boyfriend for 6 years. Hes a good man and will do anything for me and vice versa. Ive suffered from jealousy and insecurity now for many years, however i am bett...
A. 4 January 2007: You might need to get some therapy. I've never heard of anyone getting jealous of DVD covers before. I don't think anyone here could give you advice that will change your way of thinking.
Good luck!... (read in full...)
During sex...I dry up and it's painful. Any tips?
Q. Well... I have been sexually active for about 4 years. I didn't start enjoying sex until about a year ago. I now LOVE sex. I don't mean that I have sex with every guy I see, but when I am in a committed relationship, I can't get enough. Most of the ...
A. 3 January 2007: I don't think there's a position in the world that will keep you wet.
I don't think time-out for a lube job is too much to ask. Keep it handy so he can wax it down while he's going to town. . . so to speak. LOL.... (read in full...)
Will I get a chance to meet her again? What should I do?
Q. Last summer, this girl came over and she flirted, and we played tennis at the local park. But she was a real tease with other lads, but I really thought we had a connection - and wish I had asked her out, like I was thinking Because she just ...
A. 3 January 2007: Let me get out my "Magic 8-Ball". Let's see. . . ah yes, here's the answer: "As I See It, Yes". Well there you go.
Good luck! ... (read in full...)
I'm 16 and want to get married. Is there any way to bypass parent permission?
Q. me and my boyfriend live in kansas. im 16 and i want to get married to him. the only way to do that though is if i have parent permission. i know my parents wouldnt like the fact that i want to get married at this young of age. is there anyway to ...
A. 3 January 2007: Dorothy, click your heels together three times and say, "There's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home".
Are you still in Oz, or back in Kansas where you belong?
Seriously. 16 is TOO YOUNG!!!!!!
If ... (read in full...)
I really, really hate seeing my ex around anywhere. Is this typical?
Q. Hi! I had a question with my break-up. It happened a month ago and I'm pretty sure I'm over it... but not completely sure. I still see her in the school hallways somtimes and I hate it. I NEVER ever want to see her again. Is this typical? I wasn't ...
A. 3 January 2007: I think it is typical. Time will eventually soothe your feelings, but it hurts for a while. I still get butterflies in my belly when I see an old girlfriend out and about. . . and it's been twenty years. She is married with children, and I can talk ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant and it will be financially very hard for us to have a third child. My bf said he wouldn't leave me, but he would be angry if I didn't get an abortion. Help!
Q. Hi, Im new here and i was just looking for some help. Iam 20 and i already have 2 children one 5 and one almost 2.. i just find out im pregnant and i thought i knew what i was gonna do (abortion) but now im not sure... my boyfriend has always been ...
A. 3 January 2007: I don't believe in abortion, so I won't jump on that bandwagon.
Your boyfriend is half responsible for getting you in the "family way", so he has the responsibility of supporting you and your child. If he plans on being angry for a long time, I'd ... (read in full...)
She dumped me, so I sent flowers but she didn't respond. I'm now not contacting her - is this my best chance to get her back?
Q. My partner dumped me just before xmas. I desparately want her back. At first I phoned and sent flowers but got no response, so now I'm doing the no contact thing. I've only lasted 10 days so far and it's hard. Has anyone got any views on this and ...
A. 3 January 2007: It's early. It should be "Write this one off". ... (read in full...)
She dumped me, so I sent flowers but she didn't respond. I'm now not contacting her - is this my best chance to get her back?
Q. My partner dumped me just before xmas. I desparately want her back. At first I phoned and sent flowers but got no response, so now I'm doing the no contact thing. I've only lasted 10 days so far and it's hard. Has anyone got any views on this and ...
A. 3 January 2007: It's early. It should be "Write this one off". ... (read in full...)
She dumped me, so I sent flowers but she didn't respond. I'm now not contacting her - is this my best chance to get her back?
Q. My partner dumped me just before xmas. I desparately want her back. At first I phoned and sent flowers but got no response, so now I'm doing the no contact thing. I've only lasted 10 days so far and it's hard. Has anyone got any views on this and ...
A. 3 January 2007: At least she dumped you before Christmas. Mine waited 'till she cashed in on Christmas before she dumped me.
To stay out of her life is probably your best chance for finding out if it's really over or not. If nothing changes for a month, you can ... (read in full...)
He refused to tell me why our relationship didn't work out for him. He also totally changed his appearance after our break up. Why?
Q. Hi there, I am feeling very down. Perhaps partly post xmas blues, but made worse by the fact I like someone still who I don't think wants me. I am 25 and xmas has been good with all my friends etc. I was seeing a guy perhaps I should no...
A. 3 January 2007: Hi. Sorry to hear of your condition. My girlfriend of 1 year just dumped me after New Years (she needed her space - LOL), so I can relate.
There could be a number of reasons why he lost his fire for you. To try and figure it out can drive you craz... (read in full...)
I don't want to be single forever...so I need tips on how to speak to girls.
Q. Well i got a problem i think im a ugly person and i dont know how to talk to girls and i dont wanna be a single guy forever...I need tips on how to talk to girls...
A. 2 January 2007: There's a well worn quote that goes something like this -"If you think you can't, you can't. If you think you can you can." How you perceive yourself is your first hurdle. You need to think of yourself as a cool, good-looking stud-muffin. There are ... (read in full...)
Do I tell the kid's the 'real truth' about why their Dad and I split up?
Q. Hi, my husband and I have recently split over his porn use.I dont want to have a debate here as I have seen a lot on this site of really good discussion...I am dead against porn and wont be changing my mind but my question is..should I tell my ...
A. 26 December 2006: Tell them that you and your husband grew apart . . . and let it go at that. No need to jaundice their view of him.
People who live in fantasy land will soon find out that fantasies are just that. Until they discover that for themselves, I guess ... (read in full...)
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