A
female
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anonymous
writes:I writing here for help because i so badly need it. I feel like I'm lost in a never ending situation. I can't find ANYONE who can help me. I have even tried help lines and all that where you speak to actual counsellors but after talking to them for an hour or so they all seem to say 'well im sorry but i dont think i can really help you then...'. Hearing that from someone who is PAID to help people makes me think there is no help. That im stuck. Because if someone who is trained to help people and geting paid for it cant help me then who can?Perhaps someone here can, so please, take some time to read and reply...I am 18 years old.My closest friend moved away to a different city and not long after he moved we both confessed to each other that we loved each other more then just friends! He has been gone for about 6 months now and for that hwole time we have stayed really close and would always talk to each other atleast once a day every day, if not more like 2 or 3 times. And these chats would go for as long as they could. He could constantly call me, message me etc...and i would do the same. He made me feel loved, worthful, valuable, important and most of all, like i was a good person. However...in the last month or so things took a strange and shocking turn...we now barely talk (once a week on average we talk- thats a big change from talking 2-3times daily) and he never messages me or calls me first- i always have to message him first. and i am lucky if i get a reply. When we do talk...he isnt as lovey dovey. Although we were never actually 'in a relationship' as we couldnt see each other due to the distance...i felt like i was in one because i was emotionally soooo attached to him and i still am. I wouldnt even look at another guy and i didnt care that he wasnt here. Anyway...he seems distant when he talks and doesnt seem to go out of his way to say all the nice loveable things he use to say. I feel like a reject, like he doesnt care about me and like im not worth much if he can just give up on me like that. I have asked him on several occasions if i have done something wrong, if he hates me, if he has lost interest in me or if something is simply just wrong because he is acting weird...and he has always denied any of these problems existence and apolagised and tried to re assure me that nothign is wrong. Usualy I believe him but then soon enough...he goes back to acting all distant.I dont get what is going on! Please help me. This is tearing me apart. I have gotten to the point where I am trying desperate things to get his attention but he doesnt seem to worry about me. Whenever i write entries in my online blog, he used to ALWAYS reply but now even when i write a really emotional one he doesnt say anything. Its like he doesnt care that i could be really upset.does anyone have any advice on what i should do? ive tried forgeting about him and i even went on a 3 week holiday where i only contacted him once...but it was hard and i was depresed the whole time.pleaseee help! i dont know where else i can go.thank you sooo much for reading this and taking the time to reply if you :) very much appreiciated...p.s. and just incase anyone suggests i move to be with him or he moves here...thats prety much not a possibility cuz we both r studying at unis in our cities. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok for those of you who suggested maybe he has a gf or something, well i dont really think thats true because all his friends would know and they dont know anything about it.
and as for moving on...its hard. my friends have tried setting me up with other people but im just not interested. its hard ot move on when im not completely sure of whats happening exactly. i guess i need to hear it from him himself to make it real...but no hes to gutless to say anything to me isnt he.
i guess in the end im the only who can only help myself arent i
thanks for trying guys :)
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (13 January 2007):
 Hey sweetness,
"Reebe" has it right. This is just something that happens. You both are at universities and experiencing new things and new people. He's probably pretty busy with school and his new friends - he's building a new life at his university, which is normal and expected. You guys are probably going to start to grow apart. The only thing you can give him is space to allow him to grow.
If you're meant to be together, it will happen. He just needs time to adjust to his new life and his new surroundings. I think you should start to get out there too and do some new things at your university. Join a club, or a sorority (unless they're the crappy, backstabbing sort of sorority. But some sororities are really nice and a good way to make friends) and get started on a new chapter of YOUR life.
This way you guys can connect every so often and have lots to talk about - what's going on in your lives, what you've been doing. University is a big new step, and he's probably got a lot that he's concentrating now. If you guys are meant to be together, it'll happen. Patience is a virtue. For now, have fun with YOUR life! You're in a new part of life - have fun with it! Enjoy it! You're 18... the next couple years should be the most fun of your life.
I hope we've helped you a little.
Good luck, sweetness.
xxIndia
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A
female
reader, Reebe  +, writes (13 January 2007):
 I'm to give this too you straight. Every day people move away from close friends and unfortunatly it is a fact of life that after a while you don't tend to contact each other as much, but this doesn't mean your still not good friends. He maybe busy at uni, going out with friends and I hate to say it but maybe he has found some one else and is worried about telling you, there could be a few reasons as to why he is distant right now.
You need to give your friend some space and unfortunatly I think you need to accept that he doesn't seem to feel the same way about you anymore. I know that all this is probably hurting like hell. The only thing you can do is dry your tears and move on. Pick yourself up and put on a smile and you never know what is going to happen and the good things to come your way.
Good Luck!
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A
male
reader, Ponungalungb +, writes (13 January 2007):
 It sounds like he has lost interest for one reason or another. Maybe he sees that you are too emotionally attached, and that might scare him. And even though you are miles apart, he may feel like you are smothering him. He might just be busy with school.
Don't beat yourself up about it.
I suggest you go out and meet new people. Get involved in other activites. It will help get your mind off of him, and, who knows, you might just meet the man of your dreams.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, heartxbrokenxgurl +, writes (13 January 2007):
 ok i can so help ppl call me all the time the date master cuz i kno about everything u need to kno ok so when ever u have a problam just come n talk to me alot of consulars say they cant help u becuz either they never been in a sitution like that or they dont really understand ur problem but i can always relate to many gurl n guy problems ok u say he is distant n he doesnt seem as loveable as he used to his either seein another gurl n always busy with her or he just doesnt like u like that anymore or he has been busy with other stuff or hangin with the guys alot of guys do that they stop talkin to u for awhile to hang with the guys like pockernite or auto shows or other guy things so dont wrry to much just remember u guys still talk a lil and someday it could be a big relationship if he comes back or if u see him again so i wouldnt wrry to much about this becuz he probually has other things on his mind right now n cant talk alot lke he used 2
hope this helps ? date master jenna / heartxbroenxgurl
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