New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login225751 questions, 981597 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

He keeps touching my vagina.... why!?

Tagged as: Big Questions<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 January 2007) 42 Answers - (Newest, 4 February 2011)
A female age 36-40, anonymous writes:

My problem is this, I have been dating my boyfriend for 2 years now and he has this habit of constantly touching my private parts (vagina), he says that it is his to touch, this is really starting to irritate me, I have spoken to him about it before but says that he doesnt understand what my problem is. He does it all the time, while we watch tv, if we pass each other in the hallway he touches it and asks me "how she doing", I cant stand it anymore? My question is why he does this, is there a physcological reason for it?

Please help

View related questions: vagina

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2011):

its cause hes imature if i were him id give you a sweet little kiss on ur cheek and say 'hows ur day' or' goodmorning honey'. if you want him to stop then tell him that you feel abused and that how would he like it if some guy constantly touches his private parts and if he responds like a child that bring the both of you to a counciler

<-- Rate this answer

A female reader, Br1dgette United States +, writes (30 January 2011):

Everybody is seriously off here. I mean they "could" be right but from what you have described and not reading into it anymore than what you've shared I say they are categorically wrong.

First, don't hit him for playing cute with you. Don't knee him in the balls. Don't do anything violent to him.

Second, I don't think he views you as meat or a sexual object.

What I think: Like one other single person mentioned I'd go ahead and just say it's an "attention" thing. Not so much a cry for attention but more of a cute gesture that he thinks is a way of expressing to you that he's thinking about you (in general not necessarily sexually) and that he cares for you. He doesn't really have anything to talk about but he wants a way to connect with you anyway and that's how he's decided to do it.

My husband does that to me not really "all" the time but we do joke around and play immaturely about our sexual parts being almost like separate people. Is it a good way to communicate? I dunno. Is it immature? Sure but it isn't hurting anything and it's not really "wrong".

If you really don't like it you should be able to make him stop. You're going to need to provide him with another way to feel connected with you though and something to say when he sees you walking down the hall. Maybe nothing else comes to his mind.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2010):

He probaly wants to fuck yu

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2010):

Dont let him touch u slap his hand, hit him if he does it.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, He helps me with sex United States +, writes (19 November 2010):

I say you need to get rid of him my brother, Had this same problem she dumped him and he is with someone else now and he doesnt do it at all. I think he learns his lesson. But he might like you because ur looks(vagina). And he might like you sexualy not normaly so i would dump him. :)

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, bigko Canada +, writes (10 September 2010):

I HAVE THE CORRECT ANSWER FOR YOU.

You want to know why this guy keeps touching your pussy evertime he sees you? It's because he looks at you as a sexual object, not a person. If you were to stop giving him sex for a month I promise he would break up with you.

He only wants you for sex and nothing else.

Now, if you haven't had sex yet, then he's just a horny kid who's dieing to get into your pants.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2010):

he has a lust with you,

just try to avoid it

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, Radio_isotope210 United States +, writes (26 March 2010):

You've been together two years, so I'm sure you've at least done some forplay at the very least. He's just admiring your body. I know it may seem odd that he's treating your Vajay-jay like it's a different entity from you. He's just enjoying your body, and if it's not okay with you then you need to continue telling him that.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2009):

Basically, He Feels Very Comfortable and re;axed around you. If it bothers you repeatedly Still, Tell Him Save It For Bed Or Just Tell Him To cut it down a bit, Not In Public.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, little_buddha United States +, writes (4 August 2009):

First off, in response to many of the other responses, violence is NOT the answer. This IS an issue of respect here.

It basically sounds like a few simple questions.

1) are you both getting from your sex life what you need?

2) is your relationship based on sex?

3) have you been able to communicate how this makes you feel?

ANswer those and decide if the relationship is worth continuing. Tell him your decision.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, fggh United States +, writes (30 December 2008):

he probably touches it because hes ur boyufriend and isnt gay. and he is right when he says it is his. you shouldnt even be in the hallways u should stay and sleep in the kitchen. cause women should never, ever under any circumstances leave the kitchen. you are lucky enough he lets you use the internet without monitoring the crap you post. expecially about him. if i were you i would probably kill myself right now, on live webcam for all to see. i bet he would love to touch ur vagina without u complaining for once. ok you dumb slut. get off my internet.

love you...

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, BubbaTech United States +, writes (31 October 2008):

Well, let's see, you are 30-35, in School, and dating a Guy that likes to touch your vagina...

Did you finally talk him into letting you out of the closet to go to school??

Are you afraid your Father and Mother will be mad if you break up with your Brother??

If this is Real, I apologize, it is your vagina, if you don't want him touching it, tell him to stop, and break up with him.

If you have decided to live with it, stop complaining and stop wearing pantys, so he can touch it easier. And Wear ONLY dresses or skirts too...

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2008):

he probalby wants you to touch him, or he wants to have sex with you.

If you don't feel comfortable then you deserve better.

I'm sure you're a wonderful person, and I think you should let him go and lt him touch some oter girl's vagina!

Because yours is now out of business!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2008):

he's probably very atracted and wants you to move to the next step

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2008):

how old are you? Are you not in a sexual relationship after two years. He seems kind of immature calling it his to touch. But, after two years you should expect something like that. Maybe you aren't giving him enough

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2008):

I think you should say that there are other ways to get his enjoyment but it's really irritating you! He should understand that if you don't enjoy it then he won't as much. Find another way to get enjoyment like the other options are oral sex or maybe him touching your breats but say its uncomfortable for you and maybe not when you are watching the TV!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2008):

You have talked too him about it.Good.Ask him too stop if you dont like him too do it.If he doesnt stop then put a hammer too his penis and then kick him out.But usually after two years of dating its about time too step up the pace and possibly have a bit of foreplay.You dont have too have sex.Just piddle around some maby flash him occasionally.But before you do anything of the sort ask him too stop.Should he not stop then you know what too do.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2008):

alright, I firmly believe in respecting women to a certain extent, but if ur dating a guy for TWO YEARS, and he's into ur pussy, and likes to rub it, appreciate it! Many women after that long lose guy's interest. U've still got his, roll with it. He's trying to be sexy, rub him back. I mean, unless ur like 16, which shit, u sound like it, then that aint cool. But yes, after 2 years, u own his dick. NO OTHER WOMAN SHOULD TOUCH HIM, and he in a sense owns u. Not owns u owns u, but as long as he isnt sticking his hand down ur pants in public, whats the big deal?

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2008):

He doesn't respect you and therefore doesnt deserve to have you tell him to stop being a dick or your out of there.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2008):

i'll tell you exactly what it is. he's happy. he thinks about sex alot, and is happy with what he has. if you don't like it he should respect that. but i doubt there's a bad reason why he does it. but don't listen to the haters, do what you think is right, if you want him to stop he should. but i doubt it's about power or disrepect.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2008):

I don't think it has anything to do with whether or not he's sexually satisfied. That's a controlling thing to do to a person. He probably doesn't see it that way, but he's exerting dominance in a childish way.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2008):

Tell your dude not to be a pig and wait until the time is right for that sort of thing...

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2008):

Hes a man. Full stop.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2007):

you must be either really naive, metally challenged or this is your first relationship ever, because this must be one of the dumbest things i've ever heard a '30-35' year old ask. However, if i had to put money on it, i'd say you're just seeding the bait to some flames.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2007):

There's only one thing worse than having a boyfriend who constantly wants to touch your goods - having a boyfriend who doesn't constantly want to touch your goods.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2007):

Wow, there is a lot of man hate here. I am not saying that his befaviour is acceptable, but what is the root cause of this habit? Men do stupid things like this when they are insecure or not getting a need met. Your man may very well not even know that he is harbouring an insecurity. Sounds to me like you need to both sit down and take a inventory of your relationship, wants, needs, and goals and work together towards obtaining them as a team. Two years is quite a committment, I am sure you overcame other obstacles, this should be no different. Find a way to make your relationship, time together, and each others bodies "ours" not "mine and yours" and you will find happiness together.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2007):

Well all what he want is to have sex with you' but he was daoughting may be if he tell you directly you'll no, so let's him do it on the other way so get your attention will go back iknto him

thanks

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2007):

If he keeps on touching your vagina, just tell him to stop and tell him we can't be together if he keeps on doing this. This is your area not his!

Yours truly,

anonomous

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2007):

sounds like your boyfriend may be craving more attention, males tend to show they want more attention in weird ways. most of the time the attention they want isn't even sexual, but for some reason lack of "cuddling, kissing, or talking" can make a guy act like this.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2007):

Personally I think he should 100% respect your wishes. What to him might mean a weird way of saying I love the fact that your mine is getting out of control .. and quite strange. I had a similar problem but mine wasn't always touching my g/f private area it was always wanting to give oral pleasures... I mean a lot :( I know I like it a lot but I realized after a while it became more like .... do you love me or my vagina lol. I know it sound strange my story to but it's the same scenario but with control issue. Your man is so in love with the idea in his head of you being his .. that he can't see that you can walk out that door any minute and he lost probably the best thing in his life. Just let him no very clearly it must stop or else. Ultimatum might be your only way .. of gaining the respect you deserve.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2007):

I would say that he keeps touching it because you don't let him play with it enough in the bedroom! How is your sex life? fulfilled?

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2007):

You cant let him do it ... Its your vagina, not his, tell him to get lost, tell him "on your bike mate" dont let him.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, mrs0 United Kingdom +, writes (16 January 2007):

mrs0 agony auntDont be bullied by a man thats clearly obsessed with ya vagina, what does he gain from doing this?.. power over you... do the same to him n if he don't like it, say, well ya know how i feel... something ya not comfy with, stop it now...

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Tinkz South Africa +, writes (16 January 2007):

Tinkz agony auntWell, firstly if you don't like tell him out right to piss off and if he still does it then grab him by the balls and you squeeze so hard that he squirms in pain! Men like that need a strong women to show them the difference between right and wrong!

You are not an object or a possession you a human being with a mind of ur own, if he doesn't like it he can piss off even if it is after 2 years! he doesn't respect you if he doesn't listen to you

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, shania United Kingdom +, writes (14 January 2007):

shania agony auntSorry but i dont agree with what Docsilverback has said.You are not a piece of meat and if you were to keep pulling his todger at shopping centres....the local library,his parents house in the street,how would he like it.This man doesn't care about your feelings,all he is worried about is getting an erection.So what if he's been with you for two years,what difference does that make?...Your still a person...not a walking vagina!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, DocSilverback United States +, writes (13 January 2007):

DocSilverback agony auntI am not believing what others has typed on here. As far as even ending your relatitonship after two years!! Apparently, this guy has a lot to offer with the ONE acception. He graps your "thing". If that is the only issue with him, you've got yourself a keeper. Man! He is only playing what I call 'love taps'. He feels that your vagina is his and you feel that his 'area' is yours and yours alone, right? Why don't you take it as him expressing the fact that you two share something that LOTS of relationships DO NOT share, and that is little sexual games. Pass him a tap every now and then, see his reaction. NOT A GRAB...a tap...haha...he might get the hint. And, at least he is not doing this in public or to other females. That would be another issue.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, shania United Kingdom +, writes (13 January 2007):

shania agony auntHe's just a dirty little git who thinks your just a sex object.You have told him a million times about this but its going in one ear and out the other.Tell him for the last time that you dont like him doing it and if he still fails to listen then get his butt and kick it out the door...oh! and give him the address to the local whore house.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, maxsteel86 United Kingdom +, writes (12 January 2007):

maxsteel86 agony auntTo hell with crotch grabbing, dont you think the problem is he sees you as his property and not as a proper person? Tell him firmly that you're getting irritated at it and if he doesn't stop still, knee him in the groin and tell him its yours to grab, stroke, suck or hit. That should get through to him!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, cd206 United Kingdom +, writes (12 January 2007):

cd206 agony auntStart giving him a firm squeeze everytime he passes you in the house and if you can in public when there's noone around. When he looks shocked say What? It's mine to touch. This is one way of getting it out of him. The other way is to tell him it's not acceptable and you don't want him doing it anymore. Hope this helps.

CD

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Cool Cucumber United Kingdom +, writes (12 January 2007):

Cool Cucumber agony auntYea, you could do it to him (touch his crotch) all the time and see how he likes it....!!! Oh actually he may like it...well it could irritate him and I bet you it is one rule for him and another for you! Sounds like this relationship is based on sex....

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2007):

Tell him to stop! You are not his personal property and shouldn't feel uncomfortable about making him stop doing this. It is degrading and shouldn't be tolerated. Talk to him and say if he doesn't stop then you will have no alternative to finish your relationship. Don't be afraid to voice your opinions. He should respect how you feel.

Take care

xx

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, Ponungalungb United States +, writes (12 January 2007):

Ponungalungb agony auntYour first statement pretty much says it all . . . "that it is his to touch." He views you as his personal property. . . and obviously doesn't respect you very much.

If you can't stand it, tell him. If he continues, show him the door. Simple solution.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "He keeps touching my vagina.... why!?"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0625!