| A
female
age
41-50,
*ountry_gal
writes: I ended a 13 yr relationship about 8 months ago. We were together since we were just teenagers and in growing up, we just grew apart. I started seeing another man about 6 months ago, and since then the ex has been making things as difficult as he can. He has approached the boyfriend several times and caused scenes and has even chased him in his car. I cannot convince the boyfriend to file a restraining order on him but this is getting hard. We dont go to many places in fear of running into the ex and having to deal with more public outbursts. The ex has recently been seeing another women so we're hoping he might start to calm down. They've drivin past one another 3 times now without the ex turning the car around to chase him, but the look he gives just passing by suggests hes not completely done. Any suggestions how to deal with this, without involving the police?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2007): The only way to deal with this nutcase is to tell the police. Record all the times and events and everything that is said and done. Keep a diary. Make sure there are always people around, if you can, for witness purposes. But do go to the police, he is a bully. They need to be stopped in their tracks.
Take care
xx
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (4 January 2007):
 Don't look at him when you drive past each other. Don't allow him to chase you. If you don't want to get a restraining order then you'll just have to try to ignore/avoid him until he gives up and moves on. I wouldn't really recommend the baseball bat no matter how tempting.
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A
male
reader, Ponungalungb +, writes (4 January 2007):
 Anything short of a baseball bat to the side of the head might not work. The best way to deal with a bully is to face him. The only way he can chase you, is if you run. Ask him what the problem is and tell him if he continues to harrass you and your new boyfriend, he'll be doing so at his own peril.
If he persists, notify the police and grab your Louisville Slugger.
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