A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Is it true that good looking people will stay single for a longer time periods than 'average' looking people, because other people (who are more insecure) won't approach them thinking they won't stand a chance anyway? I read this in an article a while ago. What do you guys think about this? Have you noticed this happening around you? If you are insecure yourself, and you see a pretty man or woman you like, do you approach him or her? Would you try to get to know him or her better and eventually tell them about your feelings? Or would you not even try because you think you aren't good enough anyway?
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male
reader, Serpico  +, writes (3 October 2012):
Not in the majority, but it does happen. I recall many years ago visiting my best friend who was going to a law school at X. In any event, we were out in a bar and I saw this absolutely stunning girl walk in with a guy who looked like a reject from auditions for "Revenge of the Nerds." Seeing him leave her side to go get drinks, my curiosity got the best of me. I approached her and as tactfully as I could, asked her what a woman who looks like her was doing with this guy. Her answer - she turned red and shyly responded - "He was the only one who asked."From that moment on, I never ever ever resisted approaching a woman because she on the surface seemed unapproachable. Almost 25 years after that night in the bar, I have never regretted that decision.....
A
male
reader, bini magna  +, writes (1 October 2012):
 actually it is true entirely but not for all people.it's like majority people won't go to buy expensive products from expensive shops because it's unaffordable but rich people would be able to afford it rather.May be this quote expresses it more ''birds of feather flock together''there iz another fallacy nowadays,in this modern timez if u are rich and have an asset all eyes are on u whatever u looks almost all good looking people gonna approach u and want to end their time with u_some says no Money No honey!!but above all true love can bind u without any precondition and criteria!!! Hope it helps u a little
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (1 October 2012):
 "Is it true that good looking people will stay single for a longer time periods than 'average' looking people, because other people (who are more insecure) won't approach them thinking they won't stand a chance anyway?"
Semi-true. People wont approach you as much, or the ones who do approach you tend to be sleazy ones just interested in your looks. But there's nothing standing in your way if you want to approach someone yourself! That's how I've gotten around to getting the guys I wanted, I've approached them myself. Then they see I'm not stand-offish or a bimbo, and we get to know each other. So no, I don't stay single for long. In fact I have a very easy time finding a boyfriend, but quality outweighs quantity in this case. Just because you can have someone doesn't mean you'll get with them...
In my experience, from what I've seen, the less attractive girls (using the stereotype of what is attractive and what isn't) are just as picky, or even more picky, about guys. They don't take the first and best either. And it is this pickyness (or high standard) that makes some people stay single for longer.
"Or would you not even try because you think you aren't good enough anyway?" Haha, that is actually funny, because my boyfriend used to think that way. He never once made a pass at me because he didn't think he was any good at all, even though I had had a crush on him for years.
If you're insecure, and don't think you're good enough: remember that it is NOT up to you to decide if you are good enough. It is the other person who decides if you are good enough for them or not. And it is up to you to decide if they are good enough for YOU! Remember that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2012): I'm good looking and I was single for the longest time(till I was almost 26), even though I am approachable and nice and intelligent and interesting.
Dunno. Maybe people are intimidated but maybe the good-looking people have high standards. I was single because I was living in a stupid city called Toronto where men have no courage and nobody likes to skirt out of their comfort zone and in general people don't care about building relationships. Then I moved to a beautiful city called Montreal where everyone is happy and inviting.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (1 October 2012):
 Uhm, no, I can't say I have noticed that. Maybe because, let's face it, physical beauty IS an ace up your sleeve, it gives you the advantage of numbers, of being approached by MORE people: for the one guy who wants to approach a pretty girl but feels intimidated , there will be 2,3,4 that want to approach her but do NOT feel intimidated and will seize their chance .
Or maybe it's just because I grew up in Italy, Italian guys do not get intimidated too easily with women . And Italian girls are ALL good looking anyway, lol, so...
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (1 October 2012):
 That hasn't been my experience. The girls are usually ALL OVER me, trying to get my attention......
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2012): Yeah that can be true and for those reasons too. But one of the biggest reasons I've been told from the beautiful women I've dated was simply because they had a far higher proportion of players and assholes approaching them and this led to many problems, they also had massive issues with guy friends being the sleazy "friendzone" type assholes who thought they could get her by befriending her and stuff.
They always had to be on guard and quite firm with the steady stream of sleazebags who try it on. They also have to fight off guys who are possibly nice but only had the courage to approach them after getting a bit too drunk. While they'd love to have been approached by some nice guys willing to be good to them very often the player, hunky type chatting them up put off other guys and there was also the chance that they're quite simply sick of that so much that they tell every guy who approaches them to piss off.
Not only can they find it hard to get a guy but keeping a guy when you get so much unwanted attention can be a pain in the arse too. Lots of guys can't handle that, it drives them nuts, others get jealous and possessive, others get crazy inferiority complex and are fully sure they're going to get dumped any minute for someone better, others become crazy obsessed and dangerously stalkerish. Then there's also the usual thing of having to carefully vet guys so they're not using them for sex, guys will try a lot harder and play a longer game to shag a beautiful woman.
They also have to deal the misconception that being beautiful makes you an asshole, bitchiness and competitiveness from other women, especially those who's boyfriends have taken notice of them.
I'm not insecure in the slightest when it comes to women, I've never thought someone was out of my league that's their decision to make not mine, so I will happily give them a chance to make that decision and see where it goes. I'm very good at body language from a distance and I know how to work it when I see a beautiful woman being chatted up by a guy she just wants to leave her alone so that was never an issue. I understand people can be better than me in certain ways in life but in general there is no one I've ever consider to be above me in any way, we're all the same in that regard. I did do the "getting to know them better first" crappy friendzone thing when I was younger once or twice but learned quickly it was a fools game only really done by idiots who don't know how to seal the deal, it complicates everything and more often than not fails.
The only women I would never really try it on with are women I don't fancy, women I see treating others badly or women who are quite visibly spoken for. All the rest are fair game. The only time you definitely don't stand a chance is if you don't try, you always stand a chance if you do, it's as simple as that.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (1 October 2012):
 Whenever I've liked a guy I've always had to ask him out first because he's always been too shy to ask me, but generally good looking guys know they look good and don't feel "out of their league" or something with a good looking woman.
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