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Why can't my girlfriend get pregnant? Is it me?

Tagged as: Dating, Pregnancy, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 May 2007) 10 Answers - (Newest, 6 August 2010)
A male United Kingdom, * Waited For The One writes:

hey all

i've been with my girlfriend now 11 weeks on tuesday (29 May) nearly 3 months and for the past 2 months or so we've been haveing sex without comdoms and i've not made her pregnant at all. shes not on the pill

could there be something wrong? i know sometimes it takes a long time for most couples i know some who had to do it over a year before they got a kid. so i think maybe there is no problems.

the problem that does my head is my girlfriend got raped 2 years ago 1 night of he ex best mateand she was pregnant from him but with me and she got ripd and its taking longer i know i can make a baby because me and my ex made one but it died :( but oh well it happenes.

so could there be a problem?

p.s - we have sex 1 or 2 times a week and i masterbate everynight could that do something 2 our chances 4 a baby?

p.s - she wants a baby shes 20 nearly 21 im 24 nearly 25

my 2nd problem is everyone has been saying if u dont argue with your boyfriend / girlfriend it means its not a real r/ship all the time we've been 2gether i've not once had a fight with her.

is that right if u dont argue its not normal?

i always think if u dont fight with your partner u dont have any problems at all and its all good.

ok my final problem

my girl as bebo its a software on the net u can talk 2 people around the uk. and she did a blog its where they ask u questions like " do u like me " and stuff like that i read 1 she did for a lad he put " rate me out of 10 " she put (9 and half). and and he put " would u date me " she Put (Maybe if i was single n we lived closer) " do u fancy me " she put (no sorry hun) but this part i think was wrong last question " would u let me kiss u " she put (dunno)

now i know its just her being nice 2 this lad but do u think she saying when im single maybe?

is she saying this lad is fit?

she told me a million times this week shes gonna love me forever shes telling me she wants 2 live with me but when i asked her when she just kind of said " dunno " i've only met 2 members of her family 1 being her mom for 20 seconds and her nephew bevan (she loves him more than me) and as told me she would save bevan before she saved me.

is that normal? i know family comes first and stuff but u dnt love ya family members more than ya lover i say.

View related questions: bebo , my ex, the internet, the pill

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A female reader, mz.diva United States +, writes (6 August 2010):

well i feel like you guys sould not even want a child yet only because 3 months is not along time to truely get to know someone... haveing a child is alot of resposiblity and that something that both parties have to want and can take care of that child besides that i understand were your coming from because i have been trying for 4yrz now to get pregnant its never happened i have been having sex since i was 15 and i never got pregnant me a fiance have been together 4yrz now and we want to start a family and it wont happen...

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A male reader, jesuschrist United Kingdom +, writes (9 June 2010):

im 18 mate and my girlfriend is older we been trying for a year and iv had alot of sexual partners i did catch clymidia when i was young but got it treated haha could it still be me or her?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2008):

I will never understand how couples can make a calm & reasoned decision to try to get themselves pregnant while not having any urge to get legally married first. I simply cannot believe that couples who do this have the child's best interest at heart.

I know lots of marriages don't work out in the long run and lots of children turn out okay with single parents. But that's not the point. If you're not even committed to your partner begin with, then you're just being selfish & irresponsible by trying to purposely have children.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2008):

3 months is no time at all, at 24 you should know this already, the years go by very quickly. What is your reason for wanting a child? Surely you'd rather use the money to first enjoy yourself for a little while then once you're certain about the long term prospects you have with her then maybe consider having a child.

Fights aren't necessarily good or bad, just something that happens as 2 people who have their own lives start to get closer, but both have different ideas about how they want it to happen.

I'd strongly advise you to wait longer before making such a permanent decision as having a baby, are you really prepared to give up all your freedom, money and time to make a baby with someone who you've been going out with for about half the time it takes to make a bottle of wine?

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A female reader, bananacherry2007 United States +, writes (9 July 2007):

no offence but she seems like she is selfcentered to everyone else but u i may be a teen but i know i am in love and u all are totaly diffrent but then again everyone is deffrent and no masterbating dont effect it some kid asked my mom that a long time ago lol

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2007):

Me and my girlfriend have the same problem right now, we've failed atleast 4 pregnancy tests, Iv giving up on them. Its kinda disapointing to find out that there negative. But Iv heard by many people and shit that it takes time. Back when I used to here storys and people talk about "oh my girlfriend is pregnant/ or my wife or friend is pregnant" it felt like it was an easy thing, I now figure out that things aren't so easy as people make it out 2 be. Well goodluck to you with that

Oh and about fighting yeah its a good thing to fight. U understand eachother more and thank eachother 4 being there for one another.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2007):

ever one esle is right yall havent been together long enough to even think yall want to have a baby what if she gets pregnant and like after she has the baby or when shes pregnant yall find out yall have different beliefs or yall want different things in life i mean come on 3 months but if you and her both know what yall want no one can tell you different your gonna do what you want to do so yes masterbating everynight means your lettin out sperm and in a book i read it says that if your tryin to get pregnant a man really only makes good sperm every 24 hours or so and just cause she got pregnant easily once doesnt mean anything some people it just takes longer with other people me and my husband are havin the same problem he has a baby by another women but weve been tryin for 6 months and nothing yet. and as far as the fightin goes like everyone esle said yall are still in the early stage of your relationship hardly anyone ever fights after 3 months. but yall might later. well good luck!!!

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A female reader, penta United States +, writes (27 May 2007):

penta agony auntStop trying to get pregnant. The two of you don't have a stable enough situation to bring a child into, and you're being very selfish even trying. If you choose not to be married first you should at least be a couple for a few years, and contact a lawyer for a contract that will protect the child(ren) you create. Marriage isn't just a commitment to each other, it's also a way to protect the children.

I have two toddlers -- they will completely change everything in your life and you need to know that everything is good and stable before you wander into it.

If you're not sure whether you're fertile, go to the doctor and get a sperm count. Don't get her pregnant just to see if you can!

As for fighting -- you haven't been together enough to know. Not fighting isn't a sign of anything. You just haven't gotten out of the infatuation stage yet, so the little things that will bug you don't bug you yet. The true test of a relationship is HOW you fight. Good fights, where the air is cleared and things get settled, are crucial. Bad fights, where names are called, resentments are set up and nothing is settled, will kill any relationship.

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A male reader, DV1 United States +, writes (27 May 2007):

DV1 agony auntShe was probably being nice... As far as family and friends, they come first, and mean more than a partner.


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A female reader, candy00s United Kingdom +, writes (27 May 2007):

candy00s agony auntYou havent been together for that long and already you are trying for a baby.

Your worried that she is chatting other people up online. How well do you know each other. perhaps you should get to know each other better first before you try for a baby.

You said she was raped - this must have had a huge effect on her life.

Take time dont rush anything your both still young

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