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What else besides texting my daughter should I do to stop this?

Tagged as: Cheating, Family, Marriage problems, Pregnancy<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 February 2018) 13 Answers - (Newest, 6 February 2018)
A female United States age , anonymous writes:

I just witnessed my pregnant daughters husband playing footsies with my other daughter under the table! I texted my single daughter and told her to Stop what she was doing with her sisters husband now. It did not stop completely however. The pregnant one went to bed while the single one and the husband stayed up talking. What should I do? I can’t say anything to the pregnant but I can’t allow this to happen either. What should I do? Please help me!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2018):

You need to tell your pregnant daughter.

Period.

You have no choice.

I am a mother myself and I realize that withholding such critical information from your child is going to have irreversible effects on your relationship.

Once your daughter does find out you knew (Oh, she will) and did not say anything to her, she could possibly not only sever ties with you but she could sever ties with your soon to be born grandchild.

How would you cope being dead to your own daughter? Your grandchild? This is a very real possible repercussion to your actions of choosing not to tell your daughter.

Telling her will not cause damage to the child.

But not telling her is going to cause catastrophic damage to your relationship with her.

Her husband is a sleaze. And your other daughter is another sleaze. Sorry. They should be ashamed.

How would that daughter like it if she was knocked up and bloated and her husband was trying it on with her sister???

Good thing I was more into sex during pregnancy. I couldn't keep my hands off my husband! But sadly this may not be the case here. Hence, his not being able to keep it in his pants like most normal, committed husbands.

You need to do the right thing. Which is when we see an injustice before us, and especially if it affects our child, we need to speak up.

You will be able to live with yourself knowing you did the right thing.

Think your daughter will hate you for being the messenger now?

Think about how much she would hate you for standing by and keeping a secret from her which is doing her harm.

Protecting your child means telling her THE TRUTH.

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom +, writes (6 February 2018):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntYes, pregnant people have a lot going on, but they're not weak or fragile. They still deserve to know if their partner is cheating on them and can't be trusted! It's better she knows before the baby is born, than finds out in the first few months and has no spare time to figure out how to leave her husband and cope as a single mum.

Let HER decide.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2018):

Like you said, I would not tell the pregnant daughter- no need to upset her in her current condition. I would sit down with the single daughter alone and say how disapointed I am in her, explain that her behaviour is totally innappropriate.

Before I sat down with the single daughter though, if I saw it again I would remark it in front of the husband and let him know that I think HIS behaviour is disrespectful too.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2018):

You need to tell your pregnant daughter what her husband is like, if he can do this right under her nose (literally) then what is he doing when she isn't there. You also need to tell your other daughter what she is doing is disgusting however they are both adults and they will continue to do what they like anyway. Tell your pregnant daughter and let her make the decision

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom +, writes (5 February 2018):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntSpeak to your single daughter first, then your pregnant daughter. She deserves to know who her baby will be raised by.

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (5 February 2018):

N91 agony auntI'd tell the pregnant daughter.

If her husband is sleazy enough to try inappropriate contact with his sister in law what else could he be up to?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (5 February 2018):

Honeypie agony auntI would talk to your "single" daughter face to face and ask WHY she is doing this. I'd tell you are so ASHAMED of her behavior. That you didn't raise her to act like that.

And I think you should call out the son-in-law as well and ask him WHAT on Earth he is doing.

I get that you don't want to add stress to your pregnant daughter's life - but I think she needs to know. So SHE can decide if she wants to keep such a sleazy partner. And if you are willing and able , let her know she can move in with you if she wants to get away from that creep of a husband.

I don't think this is something you can sit on.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2018):

Talk to your single daughter and your pregnant daughter's husband. let them both know how disgusting, selfish and insensitive their actions are. Let them know how much hurt they could cause.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2018):

Of course you can say something to the pregnant one and you should ! Immediately

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2018):

Bring both single daughter and your son in law into the kitchen and tell them how disgusted you are with them and one of them tell your daughter in 2 hours or you will . If your single daughter lives with you . Tell her in no certain terms she can pack and go with Romeo and you will have nothing more to do with her . Where the devil is her morals and loyalty to her sister

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2018):

Of course you can say something to the pregnant one and you should ! Immediately

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2018):

Talk to your single daughter to tell her how it would hurt her sister and see where she’s at with the whole thing.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2018):

Easy.

Tell your pregnant daughter.

I can assure you she is the one for the job.

She will stop them both dead in their tracks n one

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