A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:In October of last year, while I was on the west coast for a job interview I met a guy from Tinder. His profile said he wasn't looking for a relationship but just looking to meet cool people. We went on a date, had a great time and while it wasn't my intention to hook up that night, we ended the night back at his apartment and had sex. He was a very nice guy, he had been married and was still hurt from the divorce, which is why he had put that in his profile. I flew back home the next morning and friended each other on Facebook. I knew I liked him but I also knew that he wasn't available and 2) I wasn't even in the same city so I never texted him or anything after that. Fast forward to now, I got the job and moved near to his area. I've been here 3 weeks and I want to contact him to let him and see if he wants to get together again. A couple things to know:- I texted him on xmas day to wish him merry xmas and tell him I got the job and will be moving there but he never responded. - it appears that he was traveling in NZ at the time (so maybe he never got my text?)- he removed the line from his tinder account that says he's not looking for anything serious - I've been posting things on FB that show that I now live in CA but he has never said anything (that said I know he's not fond of FB)I'm not really sure what my next step should be. Clearly he's still on Tinder because we are still matched there. I can't really jump into dating just yet because I'm still settling into my new place but I was thinking that maybe I should send him a message on FB? That way I will at least know if he saw it or not.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (23 January 2018):
 I will be honest, not many guys will look at women as potential partners after a one night stand. It seems they loose respect for women, and yes it is double standards!
If you are felt left wondering then by all means drop him a message on facebook tell him about the new job and location and ask would he like to meet for a drink, if he doesn't reply after that I would delete him from social media and treat him as a guy you once had sex with.
A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (21 January 2018):
 Nope, he's not interested.
He got your text, he chose not to respond. You met on a well known hook up site, you reached out again and he ignored you. Anything beyond this is looking desperate.
Move on
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (21 January 2018):
 Honestly?
I wouldn't. You had a one night's stand with this dude whom you met on Tindr (a hook up site). You then added each other but didn't REALLY keep in touch. You tried contact in December and go NO reply. What does that tell you?
He is busy screwing other women and having casual hook ups.
Now he might have changed his profile, but that doesn't mean HE has changed. Maybe someone pointed out to him, that saying :" he's not looking for anything serious" means he gets FEWER matches and a smaller group of women for casual sex. PEOPLE lie in their profile. Nothing new there.
Now if you are JUST looking to hook up with him again, then by all means contact him and let him know you are now living there and if he is up for meeting up, you are game.
My guess is though... he won't reply to it. Unless he is in a casual sex partner slump.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2018): Contact him on FB to let him know you're local now; and then stop trying. By now you should know guys you meet on Tinder get weird after sex. The first night you met. How lucky for him!
There's always that same cliche excuse for avoidance and maintaining distance after sex. "Not wanting to get hurt."
They should print that on a Hallmark card or a bumper-sticker.
One day people will learn that you can't live in the world of adult-reality, and never get hurt. You will never meet anyone who doesn't have the potential to hurt you. It can happen unintentionally, or by accident. News flash! People who don't want to get hurt, hurt people too!
He's using Tinder for hookups. If he was really nice, he wouldn't have ignored you. Your text would have remained in his inbox until he opened it.
One of the reasons guys get weird after a fast-track to sex is; they usually have no intention of having a relationship beyond sex. As he indicated in his profile. His disclaimer was he was not looking for anything serious.
He got your message and ignored it. Knowing you're likely to continue trying to reach him. Silence is a message without words. He's probably seeing someone else by now.
Save yourself some disappointment. It isn't likely you'll pickup where you left-off. It was casual-sex with someone you met on Tinder. That's all. Things remain as mentioned in the disclaimer on his profile back in October.
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A
male
reader, Billy Bathgate +, writes (21 January 2018):
If you have his number call him. What’s the worst that can happen, he says he’s seeing someone? At least then you can stop wondering.
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