A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:I'm in a relationship and have been with the boy for 6 months. We had a very good start to our relationship other than a few anger issues he had where he would get too angry too easily. Beside this it was pretty much perfect. Recently he found out that I was talking to two other boys even after I had been on two dates with him. He's found this very difficult to deal with as well as dealing with the number of people I have slept with but he has known this since very early on. It's not a large number just more than you would expect from myself. Since he found out about the two other boys he's said how I took him for granted and now has trust issues with me but said we can build the trust back over time. The relationship also hasn't been quite the same since, he's not as nice to me as he used to be and doesn't tell me he loves me as often but he said it will take time. He seems to make me feel so little about my past and it is starting to get me down every day. My dad has also been concerned that I haven't met his parents which I was concerned about myself until he explained that his mum was uncomfortable about the relationship and would take time to get used to it. He also rarely sees his dad as he lives a while away and has other things to do in his own time. However, it can't be that difficult for my boyfriend to say to either of his parents I would like you to meet my girlfriend, can we arrange something? Please correct me if I'm wrong. So I wanted to explain all of this to then ask if I am silly to be staying in this relationship when I feel so hurt and down a lot of the time and when I'm not even involved in his life and he is so involved in mine. The reason I am staying is because when we are together we are still happy and I do think we can go back to how we was but Recently there is a lack of trust from both sides which has also caused problems. Sorry for the long post but wanted to explain as much as I could so I could get the best advice possible of what to do with this relationship. Thank you. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, N91 +, writes (22 May 2018):
 End it.
He doesn’t trust you, he’s insecure and has anger issues. All the ingredients for an absolute disaster. I can’t see why his mother wouldn’t want to meet you either, so somethings definitely a miss there.
I think you’ll be setting yourself up for trouble if you stick with this timebomb.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2018): Post script:
I want to add something. If you're seeing someone; you can't be too chummy with to many other guys at the same time. Especially after telling the guy how many boys you've slept with. If you're not a virgin, that's all he needs to know. If you need a lot of attention for other guys; you may have trouble keeping a boyfriend, no matter how nice or smart he is.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2018): Sorry, there is no perfection in being with a person who has anger-issues. In-fact, that is one of the biggest signs of failure!
You are staying in the relationship; because you care for him, but you're not using your common-sense. He doesn't trust you, he belittles you about your past, and he makes excuses not to introduce you to his folks. Your dad is 100% right to be concerned. That's because he knows where you find family-dysfunction; you'll see trouble in the relationship down the road. Why are you a secret? Why are they a secret?
His immaturity is causing trouble. You're trying to say... if not for that, everything is alright? Not so! That means you're in denial; and not really paying attention to the red-flags.
He's got issues with jealousy. No boy has a right to make you feel bad about yourself. He's not your husband or a fiance; he's somebody you've only dated for six months.
He has already placed judgement on you, and treats you differently. Which means, now it's your responsibility to change his opinion about you. Who does he think he is?
Nobody's perfect. If he can't deal with whom you've been with in the past; you have to understand that this is more serious of a problem than you know.
You shouldn't give boys details about how many guys you've slept with. That's too much information and oversharing.
You're likely to find a stupid boy who will judge you. I think you've found one. He has a dysfunctional-family issue in the fact he can't introduce you to them. He has jealousy issues. I think all the cons outweigh the pros; and things just don't look too good for this lasting too much longer.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (22 May 2018):
 You didn't do anything wrong. He has insecurity and anger issues. Your relationship was never solid yet he wanted to act like he can control who you talk to and tries to make you feel bad about your past. Did you mean he told you he loved you very early on then stopped after two dates because you talked to two boys? Love and trust take time to develop. What he has for you is not love but obsession and control. I feel you are silly for staying in this. He doesn't bring you to his parents because he already deemed you not girlfriend material for having slept with x number of boys. What he wants from you is to constantly for you to prove yourself, and to make up for your "imperfection." Does that sound like love to you? No, so you know better. There is nothing to regain and nothing to prove. You shouldn't be with a person who can't accept you as you are.
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