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"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".
'If you're going through hell, keep going'
I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth. |
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| Latest articles: Afraid to commit
No replies yet... 8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...
Thank you DC!
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...
Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
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I don't want my partner back but he says he cant live without us.
Q. I split up with my ex after discovering his infidelity. We have 3 children together who he still sees every other weekend and we have stayed amicable. 2 weeks ago he went silent for about a week. He told me yesterday he is struggling with his ment...
A. 24 March 2020: That’s really not your problem, as honeypie said he’s emotionally blackmailing him. HE didn’t give a fuck about YOU when he was screwing some other woman, so why should YOU give a fuck about HIM now he’s sad that he got caught? He made his bed so he ... (read in full...)
Would women date an ugly male virgin?
Q. I've never been on a date before, I've never had a girlfriend, and I've never kissed a girl either. I am of course a male virgin. I'm not a handsome man so I don't ask girls out on dates. They'll just say no so I feel like I shouldn't waste their ...
A. 22 March 2020: If you have an attitude like this then I’m afraid you’ve got no chance in life. If you’ve already given up and wallowing in self pity then who is going to be attracted to you? Life can be unfair. Some people aren’t the best looking, some have shitty ... (read in full...)
Could we ever work out again?
Q. I was in a relationship for a year with my ex. We lived together and were deeply in love and had a crazy sexual connection. However - he was very insecure and possessive and the relationship became quite toxic with frequent crazy arguments (was ...
A. 22 March 2020: Why would you wait years for a toxic cheater?
This didn’t work out for a reason, move on with your life. It’s very easy to have chemistry with someone and not be right for each other.
Leave this one WELL in the past.... (read in full...)
I thought we had a great date but he's went totally cold on me
Q. Afew days ago, I went on a fantastic date with a guy I have been talking to at my local gym. His 20 and I am 22 years old, so he doesn't have alot of dating experience. We had dinner, went to golf, drove around town and went to the movies. We ...
A. 22 March 2020: He’s being polite.
He would have to be a real dick to shun you to your face. If he wanted to text you, he would be doing, it’s really that simple. You have your closure! It’s not going anywhere.
Even if he DID start to text you again, he’s ... (read in full...)
I apologised but customer wants me fired.
Q. So I work in fast food and our drive-through is open. I work as a cashier and drive-through. I don't know how to make food here as I've only been here seven months. Anyway, I accidentally misgendered a customer and now he/she won't stop at anything ...
A. 21 March 2020: Wow, just wow.
I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this! I think some people just want to be offended and have a chip on their shoulder so feel the need to treat others like crap to make their-self feel better. I don’t think there’s much you can do h... (read in full...)
I have a hard time believing anything my b/f says. Should I break up?
Q. Hi, I’m writing this in regards to my current relationship, the question is (Should I let him go?) My current boyfriend and I have been together for almost 8 months now. In the very beginning he did cheat on me, we had a fall out and he begged f...
A. 19 March 2020: Bad advice from male anon.
It’s not an eye for an eye when it comes to cheating. If someone disrespects you in that way then the logical response is to leave them, not cheat on them to get them back, it’s extremely immature and really not the foun... (read in full...)
Why has my ex suddenly blocked me on social media?
Q. Hi my question is why has My ex of 6 years ago suddenly blocked me on social media even though we were not even following each other what does this mean? ... We haven’t spoken since our breakup 6 years ago..I had seen his name pop up in my ...
A. 19 March 2020: Does it matter?
Surely you’ve got better things to be thinking about with your time.... (read in full...)
I kicked the cheater out, but miss what we once had.
Q. I kicked my boyfriend of 10 years out 6 months ago because I found out he’d been having an affair with someone from work. It wasn’t just an affair. He had been leading a double life for the 5 months that the affair went on for. Everyone in their wo...
A. 19 March 2020: How has he shown you he’s changed? You’ve told us he’s cheated multiple times. That shows he has very clearly NOT changed and keeps going back to old behaviours because you accepted them.
How wound taking him back have any sort of positive... (read in full...)
Sister Keeps Guilt Tripping Me Into Visiting Dying Formerly Abusive Dad
Q. I grew up being abused by my dad on a regular basis (physical, emotional and he once also attempted sexual but then had to leave suddenly. If not I would almost certainly have been molested). He also however gave us all a great expensive education ...
A. 18 March 2020: It’s not cold hearted at all, you told us yourself the guy ruined your childhood. You don’t owe the guy anything. He may have helped bring you into this world but he didn’t act like a father to you did he? So why should you be expected to forgive ... (read in full...)
I thought we had a great date but he's went totally cold on me
Q. Afew days ago, I went on a fantastic date with a guy I have been talking to at my local gym. His 20 and I am 22 years old, so he doesn't have alot of dating experience. We had dinner, went to golf, drove around town and went to the movies. We ...
A. 16 March 2020: personally I’d pull back a little and see if he has any drive to organise something. You offered him a second date and he said he was busy, give him a chance to make some plans. If not, he clearly wasn’t that interested and you can move on. ... (read in full...)
I have a boyfriend and catch myself thinking of someone else
Q. I have been in a relationship for a few years and now I'm thinking about someone else I have been in a relationship for a few years and I'm at university. I don't see my boyfriend that much but we talk everyday. Recently I have been thinking ab...
A. 15 March 2020: Well do you want to be with your BF?
Sounds like the distance is an issue. How long will you be apart for? How often do you see each other? Are there any plans to move closer together? If so, when? These are the questions that you need to ask your... (read in full...)
I'm falling for my FWB guy and trying to decide how he feels
Q. This may come across sounding very strange, I met this guy through a friend, we only started talking via text last year as a friend gave our numbers to each other, this year we have met three times only for sex, but we seem to get on well, we...
A. 15 March 2020: We see many posts like these in DC and it’s always the same response.
FWB are doomed to fail from the start 9/10 for this very reason that someone will always develop feelings. I experienced one myself years ago so know how it feels to be in this ... (read in full...)
I have a hard time believing anything my b/f says. Should I break up?
Q. Hi, I’m writing this in regards to my current relationship, the question is (Should I let him go?) My current boyfriend and I have been together for almost 8 months now. In the very beginning he did cheat on me, we had a fall out and he begged f...
A. 12 March 2020: He’s very heartbroken. So he Cheated on you? Where’s the logic in that? He’s been hurt in the past so he cheated on his GF. Please give your head a wobble and realise how stupid this sounds. ... (read in full...)
I have a hard time believing anything my b/f says. Should I break up?
Q. Hi, I’m writing this in regards to my current relationship, the question is (Should I let him go?) My current boyfriend and I have been together for almost 8 months now. In the very beginning he did cheat on me, we had a fall out and he begged f...
A. 12 March 2020: Trying for so long? You’ve been together for 8 months. That’s nothing. In that time he’s cheated on you and brought your level of trust down to a point where you don’t believe what he says. What exactly have you been working on?
You try to see t... (read in full...)
How can I get my insecure and paranoid mistress to trust me after almost 10 years together?
Q. No harsh judgments. I am only looking for advice here. I am a married man having a relationship with another woman for close to 10 years. It's no longer an affair per se. We've grown to love each other yet I cannot leave my wife. I find ...
A. 10 March 2020: Oh goodness me.
These posts never get old. No harsh judgement? You’re a fucking cheater, what are you expecting? For everyone to bow down and forget about that part of the issue? You are NOT in love with her. If you were you would leave your wif... (read in full...)
Not sure if I'm being friend zoned or pushed to make my move?
Q. Got a friend and I can't decide whether I'm being friend zoned or pushed to make a move. I playfully asked if she would ever consider going out with someone 'like' me. This was her response... 'Not gonna lie, there has been a few times where I'...
A. 10 March 2020: I agree with honeypie.
If she was going to come clean that was her golden opportunity right there. It would have been ‘I want to date someone LIKE you’ it would have been ‘I’d like to date YOU’
Forget about this one man. ... (read in full...)
I feel hurt and used by my girlfriend and don't know where to go from here
Q. Hi everyone Thanks in advance for your opinions and advice. My gf and I have been together for around 3 years. She is in her last year at college and I have finished and have a full time job. We don't live together, I have worked hard all my life ...
A. 8 March 2020: Not sure exactly why you’d be trying to fight to make this one work, she sounds like a bit of a bitch in all honesty.
You’ve looked after her at let her stay at your home for 2 weeks and then she rods you off at the first opportunity? She woul... (read in full...)
How do I end this affair with my married lover and father of my child?
Q. Hello everyone, so I know I'm going to get alot of hate for this topic, and I've never seen myself being the type of woman to get myself involved with a married because I know how that ends. But anyway, I have a 9 year old with my ex who is mar...
A. 4 March 2020: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-having-sex-with-my-ex-who-is.html... (read in full...)
How do I end this affair with my married lover and father of my child?
Q. Hello everyone, so I know I'm going to get alot of hate for this topic, and I've never seen myself being the type of woman to get myself involved with a married because I know how that ends. But anyway, I have a 9 year old with my ex who is mar...
A. 4 March 2020: I remember you asking a previous question on this topic.
Seems you didn’t listen to the advice anyone gave.
Advice this time? Really simple, keep any conversation strictly to discussing your child and only that. ... (read in full...)
My husband walked out on me after a fight and doesn't care that we don't have money or care about us
Q. I am feeling so hurt and my hear aches so much. My husband and I were good on Friday and later Friday night, he was out with his brother and sister drinking. He came home after 2am drunk and we had an argument... I told him it is best we go our ...
A. 4 March 2020: What were you expecting here? You told him to leave so he left.
Concentrate on looking after your kids for the time being as they’re more important. If he decides to come back after he’s cooled off then you can have a mature conversation about th... (read in full...)
I want my ex back but not if he's been with someone else
Q. I split with my bf of 3 years last autumn. We have both joined the same dating site and I can't seem to focus on dating as he's always on there. I've now deleted it as its causing me anxiety. I was thinking of getting back with him as love him but ...
A. 4 March 2020: If he left you why would he want to get back with you?
There’s obviously a reason why the relationship didn’t work out or else you’d still be together. Revisiting exes is very rarely a good idea. If you’re not ready to date yet then stop trying t... (read in full...)
8 years of being a stay at home mom. I want to work hubby doesn't want me to. I think I want out
Q. Hi, I’m hoping I can get a little advice here, I’m feeling slightly .. lost? Here’s a little background I hope it doesn’t bore you. Me and my partner have been together now for nearly 9 years, we have 3 beautiful children together. When I firs...
A. 4 March 2020: Wanting a job isn’t selfish at all. The fact that you think it is shows how much control he has over you and how he’s indoctrinated you to think that way.
You say how lovely this guy is yet describe that he’s a controlling and emotionally abusing ... (read in full...)
Was it a good idea to make a fake account and test my lying boyfriend?
Q. Hello agony aunts, I've been with my boyfriend for almost two years. It's been a very rough relationship because we were always on and off because of his controlling behaviour. He lied to me about his age, his family and about him not talking to ...
A. 20 February 2020: Good idea? Nope, in fact it’s extremely childish!
If you don’t trust your BF, find someone else. It’s not a hard concept to grasp surely? If you take him back after being unfaithful then why would he change his ways? He will learn by people L... (read in full...)
Should I trick my husband to let me watch him and a friend?
Q. Hi all. This might seem an unusual problem for some. I've always known my husband is quite flexible when it comes to sexuality. In college he told me he had a friend that he experimented with on numerous occasions and it never bothered me. Inf...
A. 19 February 2020: I don’t think there’s anything wrong with what you’re thinking. Everyone has a fantasy that they’d love to play out don’t they? But the majority of the time that’s the place where it very much needs to stay.
The amount of posts we’ve seen here fro... (read in full...)
I've just discovered I am the OTHER WOMAN!
Q. I've been in a sexual relationship with a man for over almost 4 years now. I do not have feelings for him, but had always wondered why he was so distant and indifferent towards me throughout the 4 years. Long story short I just found out throug...
A. 18 February 2020: You ‘wanted’ a no strings situation and you got one. He has no interest in your life, you guys meet for sex and that was always the deal. You can’t set something up under one pretence and hope for something else, that’s not how it works.
Now y... (read in full...)
I've just discovered I am the OTHER WOMAN!
Q. I've been in a sexual relationship with a man for over almost 4 years now. I do not have feelings for him, but had always wondered why he was so distant and indifferent towards me throughout the 4 years. Long story short I just found out throug...
A. 16 February 2020: I’m sorry what?
This is confusing. You have no feelings for this guy but you’re upset now you’ve found out that you mean nothing to him? Help me understand here.
If you want a partner then why have you spent 4 years sleeping with someone you... (read in full...)
I'm worried the chase is over now this guy has had sex with me.
Q. I’m a 27-year-old female and I’ve been dating a 32-year old male for the past four or five weeks. Here’s some background info… We originally matched on Tinder back in October 2019 and began speaking but at that time I didn’t feel like it was the ...
A. 15 February 2020: It’s really not hard to remember. It’s right there in front of you! His behaviour is showing exactly what he’s like.
He chased you hard because that’s what players do, they make you feel like a million dollars until they get into your underwea... (read in full...)
The ex that likes to text with a kiss
Q. Broke up with my ex last year in October he says he doesn't know what he wants anymore but still texts me with kisses what does this mean? ...
A. 13 February 2020: You can’t exactly blame him can you? YOU broke up with him and now he decided it’s for the best to move on.
If you were right for each other you wouldn’t have broken up in the first place. Go through the grieving process, come out the other si... (read in full...)
Its been 18 months since our breakup but I still think of my ex wife every day
Q. Hi, I posted a little while ago - I need some practical assistance. Please dont say give it time ( this will make sense in a minute ). My ex wife left me 18 months ago, I posted a couple of months ago, in the post it mentioned that all my mo...
A. 12 February 2020: To think you should be over her by now is slightly naive. You were together for 10 years. Slightly less than half the time you’ve spent on planet Earth. Shared your most intimate details of life with each other and discussed future plans and ... (read in full...)
Attracted to my and wife's mutual friend
Q. Need help. I became somewhat close friends with a woman a few years back because our kids were in same class. For the first year or two, we just exchanged occasional text about school ect and , although my wife wasn't as close, my wife knew we were ...
A. 12 February 2020: I have to agree. What here shows any inclination that she likes you? You text through the week so that means she’s attracted to you? If that’s your only sign then I think you’re wildly misjudging this situation and you need to nip it in the bud ... (read in full...)
How Do I Get My First Date Before I Turn 30?
Q. I am a overweight, not very handsome, not particularly smart or interesting, bald, geeky, awkward male virgin. I am very introverted to say the least. I've never even kissed a girl and I've never been on a date. When I get nervous, I stutter and my ...
A. 12 February 2020: If you see yourself as a loser then you’re already defeated. What image do you think you give off to other people if you have no self value?
It’s good to see that you’re wanting to turn your fortunes around, too many people wallow in self pity and... (read in full...)
How do I get over the lazy, lying man I dumped?
Q. I have failed to get over my ex.. We dated for 2 years.. We were amazing together... The challenge was always two things.. He was a liar and not financially dependable.. I am a working woman of 34 years with a daughter.. I can support myself.....
A. 10 February 2020: It’s hard to believe you want to get over him when you’re still allowing him to call you. How can you forget about someone that you speak to every month? Do you realise how silly that sounds?
He was a liar and a user, how exactly does that mak... (read in full...)
I'm worried the chase is over now this guy has had sex with me.
Q. I’m a 27-year-old female and I’ve been dating a 32-year old male for the past four or five weeks. Here’s some background info… We originally matched on Tinder back in October 2019 and began speaking but at that time I didn’t feel like it was the ...
A. 10 February 2020: I wouldn’t message him again. You gave him a text that he could easily respond to, if he doesn’t want to reply then that’s on him and you know what his motives were all along.
It’s crappy to be in that situation but it’s life. It happens. I wouldn... (read in full...)
A girl he has never met sent my boyfriend a video of her boobs.
Q. My partner of 2 years has been amazing but in December I sadly found a girl had sent him a video of her showing her boobs and it really hurt me Cos he saved it and he promised me him and this girl were just mates they never met up but still it hurt ...
A. 9 February 2020: Females don’t just randomly send nudes to people they’re not romantically interested in do they? I can honestly say I’ve never received naked pictures or videos from a female friend.
Are you sure this guy is as good as you say?... (read in full...)
I'm scared I'm just wasting my time with this man
Q. Background: Approaching 30, been together 1.5 years, known each other for years before that. Generally great relationship, we share a lot of interest and have a similar sense of humour and have a great sex life. Issue: he has never brought up ...
A. 7 February 2020: I have been with my GF now for just over 2 years. I’d say roughly after the first year we started discussing what we wanted in future and after about 1.5 years we started saving for a house together. Sometimes silence speaks volumes, you need to get ... (read in full...)
I'm feeling guilty because for 2 years my married LDR lover has thought I am dead
Q. I am separated with 3 children, in short, I am a single mother. My story is...I had a long-distance affair with a married man from 2006 to 2017. I met him once in Hongkong and Our relationship was wonderful but also painful. I love him a lot but ...
A. 6 February 2020: A very easy way to stop taking his money would be to set a new bank account up for your daughter and NOT give him the details. It’s very simple, stop acting like there’s no way to stop receiving the money. ... (read in full...)
I'm feeling guilty because for 2 years my married LDR lover has thought I am dead
Q. I am separated with 3 children, in short, I am a single mother. My story is...I had a long-distance affair with a married man from 2006 to 2017. I met him once in Hongkong and Our relationship was wonderful but also painful. I love him a lot but ...
A. 6 February 2020: You are stealing this mans money! The whole situation stinks that you were helping him cheat in the first place but to then lie about dying and continue to take his money? Disgusting.
Own up to what you’re doing. ... (read in full...)
I'm scared I'm just wasting my time with this man
Q. Background: Approaching 30, been together 1.5 years, known each other for years before that. Generally great relationship, we share a lot of interest and have a similar sense of humour and have a great sex life. Issue: he has never brought up ...
A. 6 February 2020: You need a serious sit down talk. If you want to find out where this situation is going you ask and the conversation doesn’t end until you get an answer.
If he is laughing and joking tell him now is not the time and he spells out for you what he ... (read in full...)
Was he confused about his intentions or did I misread the situation?
Q. Very long convoluted story here and in all honesty I think it is over and put to bed. It was a complete non event in reality, but it did affect me quite a lot at the time. I am in a happy relationship now so it’s not something I am going to actively ...
A. 1 February 2020: I agree with the others, it’s clear he wants something sexual. Casual, no strings.
The question here is why were you entertaining him? He’s married. How would you feel if your husband was working away trying to get into other females underwea... (read in full...)
How do I explain my poly relationship to my sister and others?
Q. I am in a poly relationship with two men and have been for nearly a year now. Everything is great although we keep it quite hush hush as we want to live our lives in peace. We all live together so we just say that one of the guys is our roommate. ...
A. 30 January 2020: Why can’t you just be honest about it? What’s the reason to hide it? If you’re in the relationship at least be proud of it.
Who cares what outsiders think? They aren’t part of the relationship so why does their opinion matter?... (read in full...)
Ghosted after 2 years
Q. My 2 year relationship just ended by the guy ghosting me. We went bowling for our 2 year anniversary had a good time and we got into a fight that night when we got back home over the status of our relationship. We have been on and off for 2 years ...
A. 30 January 2020: I wouldn’t call what you guys had ‘going out’. By the sounds of things, you didn’t know where you stood. Is that really the basis of a solid relationship?
It sounds like you hung out every now and again and slept together. Sounds more like fuc... (read in full...)
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