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"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".
'If you're going through hell, keep going'
I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth. |
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| Latest articles: Afraid to commit
No replies yet... 8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...
Thank you DC!
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...
Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
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I don't think he's over his ex yet. What should I do now?
Q. To cut a long story short...A guy I’ve dated previously (but never been in a relationship with) and someone who remained a friend for about 5 years suddenly exited his toxic relationship of six months. I hadn’t seen this friend in a year or so but ...
A. 1 May 2019: Block and move on, what a prick.... (read in full...)
I know I can't trust him again but I also want to tell him let's work on it and can figure it out. What is wrong with me?
Q. I've been dating a guy for about 2.5 months who is going through a separation. He has treated me better than anyone I've been with before and I was really starting to imagine a life with him. The gestures he made, how he made me feel, our ...
A. 27 April 2019: Ycbs is spot on, you’ve found someone who treats you ‘well’ so you’re fixated on ‘what could be’. This ‘amazing’ future that could develop and are trying to forget that he is indeed a liar. This is very early on in the relationship also, if he can ... (read in full...)
My husband loves looking at other women
Q. My husband loves looking at other women. He used to go online and ask them to send him pictures. I asked him to stop. He stopped now that we got married 8 months ago.he has posters all over his garage and playboy and looks at pictures on facebook. I ...
A. 25 April 2019: Why would you marry someone who doesn’t respect you? Someone who makes you feel like shit? Someone who makes you feel so insecure? Where’s the logic behind it?
If he made you feel this way before marriage, why would a ring on your finger change i... (read in full...)
My partner is giving his children extra money and I'm not happy about it
Q. So I have been with a man for a little over 2 years now. He has two children from a previous marriage. He pays child support for these children. Everyone gets along, there are no hard feelings about anything. On the children's most recent ...
A. 25 April 2019: I don’t see an issue here at all. The guy is treating his kids, this isn’t money that’s going to child support, it’s going to his children so they can buy something special from a nice vacation. All I see here is a loving father.
It’s his money, h... (read in full...)
He's 30 years older than me and doesn't want sex as much as I do
Q. I’m engaged to a man 30 years older than me. We’ve been together seven years almost eight. The only thing we’ve had minor discussions about is sex. I want sex more often than him. We’ve never done it twice in one day even! He’s the only man I’ve had ...
A. 25 April 2019: It’s not petty, mismatched sex drives are a very common thing and leads to the breakdown of many relationships. Just think if it’s bad now, what’s it going to be like when he gets even older?
You’re going to be sexually frustrated married to an OA... (read in full...)
My SIL is trying to cut me out of her children's lives saying I am the reason she has bad relationships with them
Q. Hi all, I am really struggling. Since the day they were each born, I have been like a second Mom to my nieces. I have such special relationships with each of them, am the Godmother of #2 and I love them like they were my own kids. Throughout their...
A. 25 April 2019: Wow, what a horrible situation to be in!
I was shocked also to read that your own brother says you are being selfish! I have a niece who is around 1.5 years old and my brother brings her round to see the family almost every day so I couldnt ... (read in full...)
I don't think he's over his ex yet. What should I do now?
Q. To cut a long story short...A guy I’ve dated previously (but never been in a relationship with) and someone who remained a friend for about 5 years suddenly exited his toxic relationship of six months. I hadn’t seen this friend in a year or so but ...
A. 24 April 2019: He’s not over her, not even close. He’s barely even started the grieving period, people can’t just hop around in different relationships and act like there won’t be any consequences.
LISTEN to your gut. If he winces at the mention of her name doe... (read in full...)
Should I respond to and forgive a homophobic friend?
Q. Time ago I had a friend. We knew each other for a long time, almost 10 years. All this time I was in the closet but then I met this guy and everything got serious between us and that was when I decided I wanted to finally come out. My friend was ...
A. 23 April 2019: Well do you want to be friends or not?
If you can ever get over what he did to you then maybe there’s a chance the friendship can be salvaged but if it’s going to constantly be on your mind then what’s the point?
You could accept the apolo... (read in full...)
He doesn't seem to want to be my friend after I 'rejected' him, is he playing games?
Q. Hi everyone! So I became friends with this guy about a year ago, we work in similar types of jobs (not together) and we get on, mostly speaking through mutual friends. He's very different to me, I'm quite a girly girl, and he's quite nerdy, but we ...
A. 23 April 2019: Nope, what’s the point?
He very clearly liked you as more than a friend, he thought he had a chance then you shot him down, this hurt him whether he says it did or not, no one likes rejection. He cut down the contact as he wanted what he couldn’t... (read in full...)
Cock Teasing Wife
Q. Wife, with already killer body, lost 12 lbs on some diet shes doing and started wearing tighter clothes when she goes out. This was fine until she started wearing more revealing clothes and her trips out became longer and later at night. I tried to ...
A. 23 April 2019: Are you worried about her cheating?
It sounds to me as if she’s trying to impress someone and it’s not you. ... (read in full...)
What is the best way to reject this persistent guy?
Q. There is a guy at work (we work in separate departments) and he is always trying to chat me up. I thought he just wanted to be friends a "friendly co-worker" relationship, but I bought up about a vacation trip and said I went with someone and his ...
A. 23 April 2019: Why lie about it? Just be straight.
‘I’m getting the feeling that you’re interested in something romantic here but im not interested and don’t get involved with people at work’.
Easy... (read in full...)
How could I allow this guy to use me for sex?! I feel awful and I've lost all trust in men!
Q. I’ve recently came out of a long term relationship so I’m very new to dating.when I went out with friends I met a great guy, we chatted a lot and there was an instant spark between us, we exchanged numbers, we spoke a lot over the phone for about a ...
A. 23 April 2019: ‘I told him I wouldn’t sleep with him’
You then go on to sleep with him and again the next night. The amount of times I’ve heard girls say ‘I dont usually do this’. Okay so what makes me so special that you break your no sex on the night you meet... (read in full...)
Despite all the nonsense I still wanted him but the "Facebook relationship" woman he's never met in real life reaps all the benefits
Q. He is a typical Mr Unavailable. We were close once and we’d text all the time. I was coming out of a destructive relationship and soon our involvement became romantic. Despite his advances and “promises”, he was just unable to commit to a ...
A. 22 April 2019: The real question is why are you wasting your time thinking about it? You know this guy was no good for you, you had 2 years to get together and never did so it’s OBVIOUS that you two are not a good match. Why haven’t you blocked him? NOTHING is ... (read in full...)
How do we move past what I did?
Q. Just a little background to begin.Married for 16 years,2 teenage kids,work and money have been a huge source of stress for the past year.My wife is often gone with one of my children out of town for sports most weekends for the past 2 years. over ...
A. 22 April 2019: Yes, you definitely should have left when she cheated. She betrayed your marriage vows and the very simple fact you let her get away with it shows her that you’re a pushover. I’d be surprised if she hadn’t cheated again going off the behaviours ... (read in full...)
How would you feel if your doctor hugged you?
Q. My medical doctor started giving me hugs at the end of our regular appointments. The first time he just initiated a hug; the second time he said "I hope you don't mind me hugging you. I have been working with him for about a year. How would you ...
A. 21 April 2019: I’d think it’s odd to be honest and pretty unprofessional. A hug is a loving gesture between friends and family, not your doctor. ... (read in full...)
What's wrong with my friend? Or am I not reading him correctly?
Q. Can a friend be acting different or is it just me. I have a friend from childhood. Every time something good is happening in my life he seems to disappear. For example he heard some bad news from a mutual friend that I had lost my job. And as a ...
A. 21 April 2019: This doesn’t sound like a friendship to me. Sounds like a person who uses someone’s misfortune to feel better about their own life.
I’d drop this guy like a bad habit, sounds like a complete dick.... (read in full...)
How do we move past what I did?
Q. Just a little background to begin.Married for 16 years,2 teenage kids,work and money have been a huge source of stress for the past year.My wife is often gone with one of my children out of town for sports most weekends for the past 2 years. over ...
A. 20 April 2019: I can only agree with Honeypies response. You gave her the perfect chance for her to dip out of the relationship. You called her out months ago and she wasn’t interested in changing things and now this is the final nail in the coffin I’m afraid, I ... (read in full...)
We broke up and now I regret it
Q. So I had been dating this boy for three weeks, and we were in a happy relationship together. He's currently in his last year of school so has to prepare for his exams, so he couldn't talk to me all the time but we agreed that he would keep me posted ...
A. 18 April 2019: Look, this isn’t meant to be, you’re both way too young to be worrying about this kind of thing. You are both CHILDREN still, the amount of these relationships that work out long term is minuscule. I know one friend that’s been with his girlfriend ... (read in full...)
Does my post break up regret suggest we should stay together?
Q. Hi guys, I feel at a dilemma here. I have been in a relationship with my current BF for 5 months now. I am 26, he is 26. I have asked questions about this relationship on here in the past, basically not wanting to deal with his issues. Most ad...
A. 18 April 2019: In an ideal world I would be a multi millionaire, I’d be retired at 27 and living my life in a hot country. As we all know, we don’t live in an ideal world and that previous sentence is nothing but a pipe dream. You don’t live in an ideal world ... (read in full...)
One night stand why didn't he call back
Q. To make a long story short, I had sex with a guy from my office last week and he bailed right after. I noticed he had been staring at me over the last several weeks, but we were never introduced. At a late office party at a hotel last week (where I ...
A. 17 April 2019: Come on, be serious here. You’re 44, you’re not a young, inexperienced kid. You have dealt with men before, you know the deal.
He couldn’t even introduce himself to you, he had to get someone else to make the first move for him. That’s pretty e... (read in full...)
My Algerian fiance wants $5000 for a student visa?
Q. Hello Thanks in advance for your help. My fiancée and myself live in different countries. I’m Canadian , he is from Algeria. We have been together over 2 years. I have went to see him 6 times in the two years. He has applied for his v...
A. 17 April 2019: Please tell me you’re not seriously considering sending the money. If HE wants the visa then HE can pay for it. Why would you pay out of your pocket? Would you buy him a car if he asked for it?... (read in full...)
Why does my wife go cold on me when we’re on holiday?
Q. I've just got home from a 2-week cruise around the Caribbean with my parents, my wife and my two kids. It was the holiday of a lifetime and we all had an amazing time. The only downside was that my wife seemed to just ignore me the whole holiday. I ...
A. 16 April 2019: Only she knows. It seems very strange and it’s hard to even take a guess what it may be. Even more odd that she goes back to normal when you get home.
You need to talk to her, tell her exactly what you’ve told us here and see how you get on. Good... (read in full...)
Is my mother trying to create drama in my life for her amusement?
Q. I've come to realise my mother may perhaps be creating drama in my life to fuel her amusement, however, I could be wrong. I'm 22 years old and my mother is my go-to person for advice for everything. Many incidents have occurred where I feel she is ...
A. 15 April 2019: Well if you feel this way then why keep asking her for advice? Ask your friends for help or use resources like this website. Problem solved. ... (read in full...)
Adult son's fiance is too old for him
Q. My wife and I have been aware of our son’s dating preferences since he left home for college. He prefers older women. We believed it was a phase and did our best not to get bent out of shape. We have met several of his older girlfriends over the ...
A. 15 April 2019: I’m sorry but what right do you have to decide who your son dates?
He clearly has a preference for older women. You and your wife don’t like it, I’ll be honest I find it odd also and I’m sure many of the other posters will do also. But what doe... (read in full...)
I get dates but then I think there might be somebody better so I ghost them
Q. Hello everyone, I am looking for some help and would be grateful for your opinions. I'm single and looking for a woman, and I've had 13 dates so far this year. I'm not a fussy guy and I liked 9 of them. With 7 of these 9, I have had second or th...
A. 14 April 2019: I know how you feel. I’ve been there years ago. It was as if I was scared to commit to someone because in the back of the mind I thought I could do better. It was bizarre to be honest as I could be in the presence of a really attractive, nice girl ... (read in full...)
There is something wrong with me, as soon as we have sex I dump them!
Q. I daydream about sex most if the time.I read about it, and I watch it. I also find dates, the person usually starts to like me and we hit it off, then we have sex, and then I immediatley cut them off, even if i've enjoyed it I just need to find ...
A. 14 April 2019: I know where you’re coming from. I got hurt bad from the first ever girl I ‘liked’ when I was your age and that upset kind of spurred me into a period where I wanted nothing more than sex and after it I’d drop all contact also.
I guess it’s jus... (read in full...)
I think I am being manipulated into being Plan B
Q. My ex who dated me for almost 5 years suddenly blocked me on whatsapp and 3 weeks later sent me a break up letter. I did not react but I cried and still cry. I went online 2 days ago and saw that his ex wife has new pictures in his new house wh...
A. 14 April 2019: Personally, I wouldn’t contact him. Forget the photos, it’s over.
Block him, delete him and move on. Any letters that come through, tear them up without reading. ... (read in full...)
I suspect my ex set up my (now also an ex), boyfriend to cheat on me.
Q. I've been seeing this guy for about 3 months now. I go to his house every weekend for Friday and Saturday night, and he comes to my house usually to stay the night on Wednesdays. He's been a complete sweetheart to me and we had good plans for the ...
A. 14 April 2019: Talk to him about what? He’s disrespected you and your relationship. Why would you even try to salvage things? If you go back to him you’re telling him it’s okay to get nude photos of other girls and talk to them behind your back.
Are you his ... (read in full...)
Will he take me back even though I have acted like a nutter?
Q. I posted once before - see http://www.dearcupid.org/question/everything-was-perfect-until-he-lost-his-nan.html Since then it’s all been pretty messy.. I went a little psycho for a while, kept trying to contact him etc to which he completely ignor...
A. 14 April 2019: If you were meant to be, you wouldn’t have broken up in the first place. He blames it on his ‘breakdown’, but surely that would be the time you’d need your partner the most? To help you through an upsetting time, not to break up with them. You need ... (read in full...)
Looking back forces me to ask myself if every relationship is different.
Q. I was going through old files and found a video of me singing with my ex... Yeah I know I can already see the "bad idea! Bad idea!!" red flags going up haha I'm long since over it. Today it's like a painful lesson that has taught me more empathy ...
A. 13 April 2019: I have to agree with honeypie. This is really unfair treatment of your Fiance. Your ex hurt you so now your current partner has to bare the brunt of it? Why?
If you love him, tell him! If you did, surely you’d be able to say it. You really n... (read in full...)
If he takes days to respond, is he not interested?
Q. I met this guy online a few months ago, we live an hour away from each other. We were talking casually for about a month before meeting up. We had a great date and ended up hooking up afterwards. I wasn't planning on it but it sort of happened when ...
A. 13 April 2019: Okay so how do you expect to meet again anyways if your schedules don’t work? To be honest, that’s the least of your worries, if someone can’t reply to your messages the same day, they’re really not interested, it’s as simple as that. ... (read in full...)
I still resent the way my husband proposed to me.
Q. I wanted to see if I’m being sensitive or not, I can’t get over the fact after 6 years of marriage with two kids of how my husband proposed. We’ve been dating for 5 years before he propose and the way he did it makes me sad till to this day. I see ...
A. 12 April 2019: So why did you accept it? If it hurt you that much surely you’d of said no. It’s too late to do anything about it now so you need to accept what happened.... (read in full...)
If he takes days to respond, is he not interested?
Q. I met this guy online a few months ago, we live an hour away from each other. We were talking casually for about a month before meeting up. We had a great date and ended up hooking up afterwards. I wasn't planning on it but it sort of happened when ...
A. 12 April 2019: If you’ve clearly told him you can only do weekends only and he’s ‘forgetting’ that information then it’s pretty obvious he doesn’t want to meet up. Not only that but who seriously takes days to respond? This is just common sense really, someone ... (read in full...)
My mother threatens to cut me off over the clothes I wear
Q. I'm a 31 year old woman who lives and works away from my parents. My parents were never the overly controlling kind, although my mother is kind of very conservative when it comes to certain things. She doesn't approve of partying or wearing ...
A. 12 April 2019: Well, you’re an adult. You’re living your life for yourself, not your mother, so I’d say do as you please.
She’d have to be extremely childish to disown her daughter over her dress sense. Tell her to stop her nonsense and you’ll dress as you wish... (read in full...)
She seems like a nice girl, but I think she is also a fake profile who follows me
Q. Hi ladies and gentlemen Sorry, this is going to be a long and very weird story. I met a girl, we spent 1 day together (platonic) and it was nice. we kept in touch and grew closer but we live 9 hours by car away from each other so didn't see ea...
A. 12 April 2019: Yeah it’s definitely her.
Question is why are you wasting your time on someone like this? It’s exceptionally childish on her part. You live 9 hours apart so nothing is ever going to seriously materialise is it? My guess is that she likes you as m... (read in full...)
Are these warning signs after a second date? Should I give it a go or run?
Q. Hi all, I am mentally quite stuck and would really appreciate some advice. A bit of background. I am 35 years old and have had 2 relationships in my life. One for 3 years from the age of 24 and one for 6 years from the age of 28. Both were fl...
A. 12 April 2019: Oh god.
She sounds like nothing but drama. I’m all for people doing whatever they want in life and living how they want to be happy. But people that have overbearing opinions and look down their nose at others drive me insane. Vegans are a big on... (read in full...)
I'm not really into the new guy. Do I give him a chance or am I wasting my time?
Q. I have been single for 6 months and have recently got back into dating. I say dating - I have met up with one person so far as the 'pool' is so small where I live - even online. The guy I have met is nice. He is sweet, kind, laid back but I ...
A. 9 April 2019: Move on.
You shouldn’t have to convince yourself that you like someone. If you don’t naturally feel a spark and want to be in their company then it’s not meant to be. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend won't tell anyone that I'm a part of his life and I feel like a dirty secret
Q. My Boyfriend refuses to tell anyone about me he claims he is private . He won't even tell his parents about me claims he is fighting with his Mother... yet she text him every day he visits her at Christmas and she just sent him flowers. This has ...
A. 9 April 2019: Why are you wasting your time? Seriously, give us one good reason. ... (read in full...)
I'm really confused about this guy.
Q. So, me and this guy have been talking. It was ok. Then he sends a message saying I've been thinking long and hard about your messages. If it was the the other way around you would you would cause for concern. So, dont apologise again. Im not up for ...
A. 7 April 2019: Yeah, sounds like he wants to see you in person, not behind a phone!
If you like him, go and date him. If not, set him free. ... (read in full...)
He seems to have cut off all feelings for everyone!
Q. I have been seeing a guy for a few month we are friends and he knows i like him more than that. He said he doesnt want to hurt me and would stop the fun we are having. I dont want to stop the fun and it wont be more than what we have but a few times ...
A. 7 April 2019: He won’t change and you’re kidding yourself if you think he will.
He ‘would’ end things but you don’t want to? Lol is he supposed to be doing you a favour there by continuing to string you along because you haven’t come to the realisation yet that... (read in full...)
He seems to have cut off all feelings for everyone!
Q. I have been seeing a guy for a few month we are friends and he knows i like him more than that. He said he doesnt want to hurt me and would stop the fun we are having. I dont want to stop the fun and it wont be more than what we have but a few times ...
A. 5 April 2019: Why? Because it strokes his ego.
He knows you like him, he enjoys knowing that you want something serious with him so he can dangle a carrot in front of you and snatch it away whenever he sees fit.
You need to ask yourself is this worth it? I... (read in full...)
His words say "just friends" but his actions say otherwise!
Q. I've become very close friends with another guy over the past 2 years (both of us gay). He's so warm and natural to be around. After the first six months of our friendship I told him I had feelings for him but he said he was just looking to be ...
A. 5 April 2019: He KNOWS that you like him. If he isn’t making any kind of move, or strongly indicating that he’s interested then I’d say you’re wasting your time. What person wouldn’t enjoy being fussed over? It strokes his ego. People enjoy flirting and being ... (read in full...)
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