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"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".
'If you're going through hell, keep going'
I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth. |
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| Latest articles: Afraid to commit
No replies yet... 8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...
Thank you DC!
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...
Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
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My boyfriend expects me to cut his family's hair for free since I will soon be a hairdresser
Q. I'm about to qualify as a hairdresser and my bf if expects me to cut his families hair for free otherwise he says it will be awkward? He has a large family and I've spent nearly a year and half working for apprenticeship wage. Am I right to be ...
A. 23 June 2019: This is your JOB, it isn’t a hobby. You earn a living from this so it’s absolutely outrageous for him to even suggest you do this for free. Even HE isn’t entitled to free haircuts. I wouldn’t even dream of expecting a service for free from one of my ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend and my friend/roommate are way too close for comfort! Should I be concerned and who should I be upset with?
Q. I've been seeing this this young girl for couple months now. Very passionate with each other sex is great! She says I love you and so do I and I do love her.we started out as friends.. anyway, recently I moved in with my friend into a two-bedroom ...
A. 22 June 2019: I think the thing you need to be considering here is whether this relationship actually has any potential. You’ve been together months and she’s already breaking up with you over things? Does that honestly sound like the foundation of a good ... (read in full...)
Why does a man with a perfect girlfriend still feel the need to have sex with someone else?
Q. I'd like to know WHY a man can have sex with two women at the same time? I don't mean a threesome. But having two sexual relationships concurrently. One of the relationships is with a woman he's been with for 6 years and he supposedly loves...
A. 22 June 2019: Why are you making it out like the issue is with the GF? The fact of the matter is that the guy is a cheating piece of shit, it’s very straight forward. It’s not about the GF not being enough, it’s the guy who is a selfish idiot who thinks with his ... (read in full...)
Am I right in just leaving him to it?
Q. Hi all I’ve asked for advice before the same guy and found it really helpful so I was wondering if I could run this passed you also x So ... basically work together sometimes , he split from wife six months ago after bad times ... started se...
A. 22 June 2019: If he was interested he would show it. Forget about this one and try to stick to dating people OUTSIDE the workplace, it rarely ends well.... (read in full...)
Do I give up my baby dream
Q. I joined a dating site last year and after a few bad dates i found a guy that was perfect we had several dates loads in common enjoy each others company but he decided to tell me hed rather be friends with benefits. I agreed but now im unsure what ...
A. 22 June 2019: Put a stop IMMEDIATELY.
There’s probably less than 1% of FWBs that ever develop into a relationship. A FWB is a way of stating ‘I like you enough to have sex with you, but not as a partner’. If you want a relationship, this is NOT the way to g... (read in full...)
He thinks I like his best friend but I like him. Its a mess!
Q. He thinks I like his friend yet I like him. We were attracted to each other and we knew it..but we didn't talk about it. His friend who is more out going and social asked me out and I told him I am not interested in a relationship but we can be ...
A. 20 June 2019: It sure sounds like you’re in high school.
For what reason does he hate you? If he does hate you then why are you wasting your time trying to attract him?
If 2 grown adults can’t tell each other that they are romantically interested then ... (read in full...)
My boyfriends contact with other girls makes me very insecure
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a little over a year now. I’m 19 he’s 22. Up until about three months ago he had been in communication with his obsessive ex, texted her and talked on the phone with her once because she had some drama about ...
A. 19 June 2019: Really? Are you this desperate?
How can he make it anymore obvious? He’s saving girls in his phone as male names. He holds conversation with every female that contacts him, he stayed in touch with a drama attached ex. These really aren’t positive... (read in full...)
How do I deal with post-breakup loneliness?
Q. My ex-fiance and I were together for three years. I was very upset and lost shortly after the breakup. However, as soon as I moved out a few days later, I was neutral/happy. The pressure had been lifted and this neutral/lighthearted feeling lasted ...
A. 15 June 2019: Let it out, you need to go through the motions!
Cry until you can’t cry anymore, let all that anger and frustration out (in a safe way of course!) you will feel better for it. You can’t bottle that kind of emotion up and just expect it to go away ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend constantly quits jobs and I'm tired of picking up the financial slack
Q. Been together almost 5 yrs. We live together and have a joint bank account. I have been working for the same company for 2 years now, full time, doing about 50 hrs per week. About one year ago he suddenly quit the job he had been with for a long ...
A. 15 June 2019: Do as your friend says, she has it spot on! The guy is a bum, you’re enabling him to live off your wage, once or twice maybe I could let slide, but 8 times in a year? That’s taking the piss!
I’m so sorry to hear about your mother and the passing ... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend is cheating and lying to me
Q. hello to all ill try to make this long story short, i am in love with a man whom ive been with for two years, we have had some break ups along the way because he was unfaithful and got someone pregnant, he wanted to work things out so he asked for ...
A. 14 June 2019: You think he COULD be cheating?
He HAS cheated! He has ALREADY DONE IT! Why are you putting yourself through this wondering what he’s doing and what he’s up to? ‘He’s a good man’ lol no he isn’t. He cheated on you and had a baby with another ... (read in full...)
LDR boyfriend is not giving me attention
Q. I have been in a LDR for about 5 months. I love my bf dearly and i am willing to sacrifice to spend time with him and talk to him. We met on a app and usually we talk on the app bc we can play games and talk. From the very beginning there has always ...
A. 13 June 2019: Come on for goodness sake.
How can you love someone after 5 months? You don’t even know the guy, not only that but he barely replies? How can you honestly love him? You need to get a grip.
How could he make it any more obvious that he’... (read in full...)
My husband had a sexual fling while I was mourning the loss of my father. How do I get past this?
Q. My father died last year. It was a tough time for me and still is. We were very close. I found out recently that my husband of 6 years was having a "fling" with an old friend while I was mourning my dad's loss. It wasn't a full blown affair. It was ...
A. 13 June 2019: Why are you even TRYING to move past this?
Your husband not only betrayed your marriage vows but he did it when you were at your weakest point. He is absolute scum.
Find someone who respects you. ... (read in full...)
Do you think it was his phone call? Was he too shy to speak?
Q. Ok - one for the guys:- I left my number with a guy I'm quite keen on. I told him he must keep in touch with me and text me to let me know how he's getting on (as we are both on separate vacations for the next month or two), I think he's fairly s...
A. 11 June 2019: He has your number so if he wants to contact you he will do. If it was him though are you really looking for someone who’s afraid to speak to you? Sounds extremely childish if it was him.... (read in full...)
Mixed signals, and being friend-zoned without any proper conversation
Q. I was seeing a guy for a month that I’d met off a dating app. We would hook up almost every time we met. I invited him out for dinner, he’d message me all the time, we'd have intimate time always alone with cuddling and tender kissing. It was a ...
A. 11 June 2019: I think when you immediately sleep together you’re setting yourself up to be classed as a fling/fwb. People want to work for a partner, someone they’re going to spend their life with and chose to be their exclusive mate in life they want to chase ... (read in full...)
Should I delete my email account altogether so that he can't get in touch with me?
Q. Hello my ex- fiancé and I broke up 7 months ago. We’re together for about two years! He moved to another country because he is in the military. Anyway to make things easier I blocked him off of all social media, phone etc. Today he emailed me! All ...
A. 9 June 2019: Block him?... (read in full...)
Is it ok to lie about a vasectomy?
Q. I just ended a 10 month relationship. I ended it because he admitted he lied to me about having a vasectomy at the beginning of our relationship. Is this a common occurrence? I have never heard of a man lying about birth control before and I am ...
A. 9 June 2019: Absolute prick.
You made the correct decision. ... (read in full...)
I don’t trust him, he’s a player! Why does he not want me to move on? What to do?
Q. I like this guy from almost 1 year now I had a crush on him even though I knew he had a girlfriend Then abruptly out of the blue he started flirting with me and blushing. his friends tease me even teachers tease me by his name once I saw him with ...
A. 8 June 2019: This guy is a loser.
Who fights another guy over a girl he THINKS he is dating. Hell, why would it matter even if he WAS dating you? Right off the bat it sounds like this guy has anger issues. Avoid like the plague.
Following you home also?? ... (read in full...)
Is it possible for beauty to love the beast?
Q. I am posting this question partly out of my own insecurities but also because some people are talking behind my back. I am a virgin who is in his first relationship. My girlfriend is a friend from school who got divorced not too long ago. I used to ...
A. 7 June 2019: I’m honestly intrigued why she hasn’t brought up a conversation about no sex in 10 months. Has nothing ever been said about this? ... (read in full...)
Do I let him go or hope he will change his mind?
Q. I met a man last year on a dating site it was great for the first 3 month but then he said he just wanted to be friends which i thought ok. He is very aware i have feelings for him and we spoke about this. He recently said lets be fwb and because i ...
A. 7 June 2019: Stop wasting your time.
He already told you before anything got deep that he saw you as a friend only, offering sex WILL NEVER change someone’s feelings for you if they have already friend zoned. The only guarantee is that your feelings will be ... (read in full...)
Is it possible for beauty to love the beast?
Q. I am posting this question partly out of my own insecurities but also because some people are talking behind my back. I am a virgin who is in his first relationship. My girlfriend is a friend from school who got divorced not too long ago. I used to ...
A. 6 June 2019: Looks don’t mean everything. It may be hard to believe considering you’ve not had much experience with females but I’d put that down more to your confidence than looks. I have many friends I wouldn’t necessarily class as ‘handsome’ but have done ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend treats me like glass since I'm a virgin
Q. Hi y’all. I’ve taken some of your advice to put myself out there and date and get to know a guy. He’s actually a classmate of mine and my friends set us up. We’ve been dating for for a while but he treats me differently. The conversation of sex c...
A. 6 June 2019: Tell him. Simple.
He’s not going to stop unless you say something, for all he knows you really appreciate his behaviour.... (read in full...)
My fiance's boss seems to be crossing normal professional limits. How can she draw the line without antagonizing him?
Q. Hello. I have a situation. My fiance (gf of 7 years, 2 years LDR) got a new job in a multinational company a month ago which was a dream come true for her. Her job profile, work culture, everything is perfect. Here's where the problem arises. Firs...
A. 3 June 2019: I have to agree, she’s bullshitting.
If anything the boss should be scared of overstepping boundaries and losing his job in this day and age of blame culture and sexual harassment claims.
If she doesn’t want to go, she says no. It’s really simp... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is illegally in my country, wants to marry me so he can stay on and is planning our wedding which is going to happen in a week!
Q. Hi everyone, I have a situation. I have been with my boyfriend for a year and he does everything for me and my kids. We first met online, he had come from a far country to visit me and he decided not to go back to his country. So now he has ...
A. 2 June 2019: Say no?
Is advice really necessary here? You can’t be forced into a marriage you don’t want to take part in.... (read in full...)
Are there any laws on verbal abuse?
Q. Hello there, What is your view on verbal abuse? I was having a drink with a kinda newish 'friend' (a friend of my estranged brothers - who are both violent narcissists but no-one knows my past with them) and he suddenly turned the subject into...
A. 29 May 2019: Definitely not verbal abuse.
I’d class it as repeated verbal attacks of a derogatory manner to make someone feel inferior or to purposefully break them down. It sounds like you had an argument with this guy, nothing more.
He’s a dick, yes, tha... (read in full...)
What happened to keeping in touch and friendship?
Q. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-dont-understand-the-change-in-his-behaviour.html Here’s the question that I asked and I followed the advice and didn’t contact him again . After a week or so, I just sent a very friendly text on his story on Ins...
A. 29 May 2019: People say things like that to be polite.
He is NOT interested. If he was, he would be happy to contact you. Stop wasting your time. ... (read in full...)
I've wasted my prime is it too late to get over it?
Q. This is a petty question I'm sure but it's something that holds me back I will try to keep it short. I've had depression off and on since 15 but hit a hard spell at 21 after a relationship knocked me back because of it my life has been frozen....
A. 29 May 2019: Then do something then, stop moping around. Feeling sorry for yourself won’t achieve anything! Apply for new jobs, hit the gym, get a new hairstyle and wardrobe, re-invent yourself. Pity parties won’t help anyone and certainly won’t attract any ... (read in full...)
I'm married and am infatuated with a man who is also in a relationship
Q. I am a married woman and I have developed an infatuation with another man. He is in a relationship too. I don’t know a great deal about him but I know he too fancies me. He has made it clear and has asked me out. I have never been unfaithful ...
A. 29 May 2019: Why not ask your husband and see if he can help you out?
Don’t want to do that? Well why not COMMUNICATE with your husband to tell him how you feel so you won’t be looking for attention outside of your marriage. He’s not a mind reader, as far as h... (read in full...)
Seeing my ex at works makes it hard for me to make a decision about my job future. Do I follow my heart or my head?
Q. I've posted on here a few times about a relationship I had with my colleague that went south to say the least! We currently only speak with each other about work (barely even that). I basically see him and see red! I didn't behave well after the ...
A. 29 May 2019: I have to agree with Wiseowl.
Why let him occupy your mind so much? It didn’t work out, so what? You’re considering leaving your job over it? A job you call perfect? Over a greaseball? Can’t like it that much if you’re thinking about moving! ... (read in full...)
We've never met I'm in the US she's in France. Is there any point in continuing this?
Q. So a couple months ago I noticed a beautiful woman followed me on Twitter. I followed her back and we started exchanging DM's on twitter. Turns out she lives in France. I live in Nevada. But we did click. Our interests lined up in many ways (it...
A. 28 May 2019: Something could happen, of course. Just as easily as absolutely nothing could happen.
The question is how serious you both are about this, if you decide to commit to it then you need to think long term. Who is going to move to who? How long wil... (read in full...)
A troubling situation is arising my dad is becoming a creep
Q. Firstly,my dad has never abused or molested me growing up and he was actually very protective of me and my sister. Now even as an adult my father will do anything for me and he has expressed that I'm his favorite child. I never felt weird around my ...
A. 28 May 2019: You need to nip this in the bud. This is creepy as hell, you can’t just keep ignoring it like nothing is happening. Call the guy out, his behaviour is crossing the line and is downright disgusting.
If you don’t feel comfortable speaking to your ... (read in full...)
Something is not right in this relationship with my older boyfriend
Q. Hi aunt's. I recently came back from a 3 month vacation and have been indoors and kind of claustrophobic. I live with my current bf and we've been together for a little over a year now. I saw him dressing up today and asked him where he was going ...
A. 25 May 2019: Banished from meeting friends for what reason? Very bizarre.
I have to agree, not sure why things would be awkward. I’m presuming they’ve both moved on so not too sure what the issue is. Why did you warn him not to show you off?
More info nee... (read in full...)
I don't understand the change in his behaviour
Q. I started talking to a friend of friend online and connected instantly . It’s been years since I actually found a conversation with someone so connecting . We used to text all the time and this went about for almost a month . He is from my city but ...
A. 24 May 2019: Edit: ‘Doesn’t see this developing into anything serious’ ... (read in full...)
I don't understand the change in his behaviour
Q. I started talking to a friend of friend online and connected instantly . It’s been years since I actually found a conversation with someone so connecting . We used to text all the time and this went about for almost a month . He is from my city but ...
A. 24 May 2019: I think that’s his way of saying things should end there tbh. He said he doesn’t want to lead you on, that can’t be any clearer saying he do any see this developing into anything serious.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend stares at and approaches other women, it makes me uncomfortable.
Q. my boyfriend keeps looking at other women when we are out and ive seen him literally turn his neck to side and stare for ages at other women also he goes up to women on theyre own and chats to them about anything usually starting with theyre dog to ...
A. 23 May 2019: So you’re saying this man has raped you? And you’ve stayed with him but looking at other women is the dealbreaker??
Why have you not reported this to the police? Being forced into sex is rape. ... (read in full...)
I think I was used by this person and now they got what they wanted they dropped me
Q. Hi, over the last 7 months I have become very friendly with a former work colleague. During this time I have given up a large portion of my time helping them getting a new job. I would spend my time going through job specifications with them and ...
A. 23 May 2019: Forget about it. Life is full of users, you managed to spot that they only contacted you when they need something so why did you continue to help?
Give someone an inch, they will take a mile. Let this be a lesson not to be taken advantage of!... (read in full...)
He talks about sex but never performs. Is he gay?
Q. I have been with a man for 15 months, We are both in our mid 50s . He says he loves me but he has NO passion. He kisses me but they are little pecks. He will some time kiss my neck and when I am feeling a little excited, he pushes me away. He says ...
A. 21 May 2019: You aren’t sexually compatible.
What are you staying for?... (read in full...)
My boyfriend stares at and approaches other women, it makes me uncomfortable.
Q. my boyfriend keeps looking at other women when we are out and ive seen him literally turn his neck to side and stare for ages at other women also he goes up to women on theyre own and chats to them about anything usually starting with theyre dog to ...
A. 21 May 2019: I’m not sure why you’re even trying to change the guy. If he truly respected you in the first place, this wouldn’t be happening. YOU let him get away with it so he WILL NOT stop doing it.... (read in full...)
I broke it off ... so how come he hasn't unfriended me on facebook?
Q. Hi, i need some advise. I broke up with my LDR bf of 3 months ,this weekend sent him message on facebook that i want to break up with him and he just said he respect ny decision. But he never unfriend or even blocked me on facebook. Why you think ...
A. 20 May 2019: I don’t really think that proves whether he cared or not. It has absolutely no relevance whatsoever. People care way too much about social media.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend stares at and approaches other women, it makes me uncomfortable.
Q. my boyfriend keeps looking at other women when we are out and ive seen him literally turn his neck to side and stare for ages at other women also he goes up to women on theyre own and chats to them about anything usually starting with theyre dog to ...
A. 20 May 2019: You really think this is the best you can do?... (read in full...)
We're both unhappy in our marriages and have a long history. Should we have sex?
Q. When I was a teenager While visiting family i met a boy, through high school we crushed back and forth on each other secretly and living in different ends of the country made it impossible for anything to happen. As young adults be told me he liked ...
A. 20 May 2019: Stop trying to pass it off as you’re not seriously considering it. Why else would you be here if you weren’t?
Either work on your marriage or divorce your husband. He can do better than someone who’s considering cheating. ... (read in full...)
We're both unhappy in our marriages and have a long history. Should we have sex?
Q. When I was a teenager While visiting family i met a boy, through high school we crushed back and forth on each other secretly and living in different ends of the country made it impossible for anything to happen. As young adults be told me he liked ...
A. 19 May 2019: You asked if meeting this man would be a mistake. You weren’t joking, you were here asking if people would find it socially acceptable. You know it isn’t or else you wouldn’t be hoping for someone to validate your query.... (read in full...)
We're both unhappy in our marriages and have a long history. Should we have sex?
Q. When I was a teenager While visiting family i met a boy, through high school we crushed back and forth on each other secretly and living in different ends of the country made it impossible for anything to happen. As young adults be told me he liked ...
A. 18 May 2019: Of course you are, how could you possibly think you’re not? You’re discussing breaking your marriage vows. Cheating on the father of your children, you do understand what you’re suggesting?
On what lanes would this be okay? Were you expectin... (read in full...)
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