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*91

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*91's profile:

"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't"

"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".

'If you're going through hell, keep going'

I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth.

Latest articles:

Afraid to commit

No replies yet...

8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...

Thank you DC!

This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...

Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us

This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...

< Prev4567891011121314Next > [73 pages, 2867 answers]

His words say "just friends" but his actions say otherwise!

Q.   I've become very close friends with another guy over the past 2 years (both of us gay). He's so warm and natural to be around. After the first six months of our friendship I told him I had feelings for him but he said he was just looking to be ...

A.   5 April 2019: He KNOWS that you like him. If he isn’t making any kind of move, or strongly indicating that he’s interested then I’d say you’re wasting your time. What person wouldn’t enjoy being fussed over? It strokes his ego. People enjoy flirting and being ... (read in full...)

My older boyfriend wants me to pretend to be his daughter.

Q.   I dont think age should matter in a true loving relationship. My dad thinks otherwise and so I have moved out and anto my bf's place a few months ago. Although he is about 10 years older than me he is just so adorable. I like so love him to pieces ...

A.   5 April 2019: Yeah he’s definitely lying. Honeypie is spot on, it’s a fetish for him. Dating a young girl he wants to be called dad by? As a bit of fun? Passing it off as trying to make you have a better relationship with your own father? How exactly?... (read in full...)

My boyfriend defends his ex when I get upset she visits when I am not there

Q.   im asian and my bf is european, we been 5 month know each other and we already meet also with his parents, my case is i really dont like and never accept when my boy still welcome her ex, i know they was together 5 year before. this girl dont even ...

A.   4 April 2019: So he is worried about his current GF upsetting his ex. Understood. Please tell us why you’re wasting your time with this guy? ... (read in full...)

Does he care or not care ... he keeps contacting me.

Q.   I have an ex who reached out to me six months after ghosting me, and tries to pretend nothing came between us. I don’t respond, and he later replies in a passive aggressive manner as if to say “don’t worry I don’t care anyway”. A bit of history, ...

A.   4 April 2019: If someone punched you in the face, then a month later tried acting like nothing went wrong and for whatever reason you let it slide, then you continued chatting and next time you met up they punched you in the face again would you continue to keep ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend gets angry when I talk about being committed

Q.   I live whith my bf at his place, he can be 2 different people sometimes, one nice warm and kind the other not so. We have been together for about 3 years but when I ask about being more committed to each other he gets angry . I want children and he ...

A.   1 April 2019: Just from that alone surely you can tell that he’s not very invested in your ‘relationship’. Someone who won’t talk about a future, DOES NOT see a future. You are sex on tap, nothing more. If he truly loved you he wouldn’t be sleeping with other ... (read in full...)

He cheated on me, was violent but it now feels things are back on track. So why am I not happy?

Q.   I really don't know how I feel anymore, my head is all over the place and I'm so mixed up. I've been with my boyfriend for 8years. When we first met things moved very fast and I knew i loved him very early on. We had what I thought was the perfect ...

A.   31 March 2019: Because you know deep down he’s a shitbag? He gets aggressively drunk, he’s cheated multiple times and he’s violent. Doesn’t really sound like much of a catch to me. He’s managed to win you back around with a few dinners and tidying the house? ... (read in full...)

Is my male coworker playing mind games with me?

Q.   There is a coworker who works in a different department, “John”. He doesn’t go to meetings, has attitude, gossips, flirts, dates fellow coworkers, likes to mess with people, etc. When I first talked to him about something work-related, he...

A.   30 March 2019: Why try to understand it? Is there some reasoning behind this? Do you have some kind of feelings for him? As I don’t think many people would let this bother them as much as you are. Concentrate on your job. ... (read in full...)

I have no clue what I did wrong and don't want to ask because I'm afraid it will make her even more angry

Q.   Me and this girl we have been together for a while and recently went through a rough patch. We are slowly getting through it but today something happpened that has really confused me. We were talking on Snapchat when she said something that annoyed ...

A.   28 March 2019: Come on, you know exactly what you’ve done here. Do you say okay. byeeeee to her before you go to sleep every Night? Or do you say it in a kinder, more sensitive way? With emojis, or kisses and the like? I agree that you’re playing dumb. It’s chi... (read in full...)

If I move in as he suggests I fear I will be stuck into one of his little compartments and kept separate from his life

Q.   Hi, was looking for advice. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for around 2 years. He has basically been staying at mine every night for over a year but still maintains his own place which has made money really tight as he cant afford ...

A.   26 March 2019: If after 2 years you’ve still never been introduced to any of his family or friends it’s really not looking promising. I’d be mulling over whether this guy is right for you, not whether to move in with him or not. ... (read in full...)

Is my male coworker playing mind games with me?

Q.   There is a coworker who works in a different department, “John”. He doesn’t go to meetings, has attitude, gossips, flirts, dates fellow coworkers, likes to mess with people, etc. When I first talked to him about something work-related, he...

A.   24 March 2019: In all honesty, why do you care? You’re at work, not a social gathering. If he wants to act like a child then let him. Concentrate on the job you’re being paid to do.... (read in full...)

His priorities don't make sense

Q.   DEAR cupid, my boyfriend I and have been together for a year and 1/2. We have been living together for a year. We have been experiencing issues and decided to end our realationship to work on ourselves and our relationship. This is where it gets ...

A.   20 March 2019: I’m with you. Who on earth would want to save for a house with someone they’re not in a relationship with? That makes no sense whatsoever. The very fact that you’ve broken up shows you’re not a good match! Forget the house plan, move on a find t... (read in full...)

Why did he unmatch me after hooking up?

Q.   I hooked up with this guy from Tinder the other night but we didn't have sex because I was on my period. That didn't seem to bother him but I was uncomfortable with it and gave him oral instead. I told him next time we will go all the way and he ...

A.   20 March 2019: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-suspect-hes-trying-to-cheat-on-her.html Gonna take a stab in the dark that the above post belongs to you. He got some kind of sexual satisfaction out of the scenario and now he doesn’t want to know you. Simple. ... (read in full...)

Is the grief causing him to treat me badly?

Q.   Hello. Firstly just for some context I was in a on and off relationship for 10 years with the sweetest best friend of a boyfriend who was my high school sweetheart but his lack of ambition and lazy attitude I couldn't take anymore. We are ...

A.   20 March 2019: Why would he take it out on you though? His partner? Someone he supposedly loves. Was it your fault his parents died? Or that he broke his leg? I highly doubt it, so why are you his punching bag for it? These kinds of guys usually are charming, say ... (read in full...)

I love my wife but have a sex doll. Why don't I just cheat with a real woman?

Q.   My wife and I've been married for a long time. Our sex life is only 3 times a month now. Sex was a big part of our relationship from the beginning. We would do it as many as 15 times within a month. I understand all the situational things that ...

A.   17 March 2019: You’ve got to be trolling. Like Wiseowl, I remember your other post where you said your wife was cheating. If all this is true and you’re being cheated on and you’re having sex wth a doll not to cheat on your wife then I think it’s safe to say t... (read in full...)

I want my married lover's wife to know I am having his child

Q.   I have been dating this married man a little over 2years now. I was with him for 5 months before he married his wife(chose another woman over me whiles I was with him). At the time of his marriage I was two months pregnant for him which I made him ...

A.   17 March 2019: Move on. Why are YOU trying to act like a victim here? You willingly helped a man cheat on his partner which then progressed into his wife and you’re trying to act like YOU are being hard done by? Grow up. Seriously, think about what you have bee... (read in full...)

How much time do you think she'd take to be ready to date again after her previous long relationship?

Q.   Hello folks. I'm being driven nuts by a dilemma and since I can't talk to any of my friends about it, I thought I'd ask about it anonymously instead of turning it over in my mind to no end. So this is the situation. I'm a 25 year old, attracted t...

A.   16 March 2019: I genuinely don’t think there is. She has known you for a good few years now I’m assuming? So she knows what you’re like, your personality and behaviours and if after all that time she still doesn’t want to get into anything serious after being si... (read in full...)

Why would a man leave like this, could this be related to anything I could have done without purpose? Is there any possibility to get him back?

Q.   I dated a guy I work with for a month(I started working at this place 2 months ago),but we don’t work in the same office. It was a really intensive dating. We met almost everyday, spent a lot of time together. He was really into me and I liked him a ...

A.   15 March 2019: You’re right, you do deserve better than what he can offer. He’s a messer, plain and simple. If he’s not in the right headspace to be dating people then he shouldn’t be trying to drag someone into the situation. Stick to your guns, let him play... (read in full...)

Why would a man leave like this, could this be related to anything I could have done without purpose? Is there any possibility to get him back?

Q.   I dated a guy I work with for a month(I started working at this place 2 months ago),but we don’t work in the same office. It was a really intensive dating. We met almost everyday, spent a lot of time together. He was really into me and I liked him a ...

A.   15 March 2019: He already has left you. Getting back with him, if the opportunity, arose would be foolish. He has come up with a reason not to date, now whether you believe it or not is irrelevant. He doesn’t see a future here or else he would not of broke up... (read in full...)

He is trying to make it out like I’m overreacting, but why buy gifts for his female co-worker?

Q.   Hello, Looking for any advice on how to keep pushing forward and leave be okay with my decision. Last week I found out my husband purchased flowers for a coworker. He states he was just being supportive because she hosted a networking influenc...

A.   15 March 2019: Trust your gut instinct, you know something is up here. This isn’t normal behaviour, he’s lying! If he’s complaining at you for spending money and then going out buying people gifts, then something is smelling fishy to me. He’s trying to impress ... (read in full...)

Why am I kept separate from his family?!?

Q.   Im not sure what to do. Ive been seeing a guy who i met from work for around 2 years, we dont work together now and we have separate places too. The relationship got off to a rocky start due to work colleagues gossping and me cheating with an...

A.   15 March 2019: Why start the time limit now? It’s been 2 years. Does anyone actually know about you? Has he told anyone? Or are you truly in the dark? This doesn’t sound like the signs of a positive relationship, it’s clear for all to see. You started by cheat... (read in full...)

I really like her but she's giving me mixed signals

Q.   Hi I really like a girl and get mixed signals, sometimes I feel she likes me and other times she is distant and feels like she is pushing me away. It's really a day by day thing. Some days she is clearly interested and then others seems to want to...

A.   14 March 2019: Neither. If a person is interested in another they will make it known. No matter how busy someone is, if they want to make time for someone else, they will do. You’re wasting your time here. If 2 people want to be together they will put in... (read in full...)

How much time do you think she'd take to be ready to date again after her previous long relationship?

Q.   Hello folks. I'm being driven nuts by a dilemma and since I can't talk to any of my friends about it, I thought I'd ask about it anonymously instead of turning it over in my mind to no end. So this is the situation. I'm a 25 year old, attracted t...

A.   14 March 2019: There’s nothing here I’m afraid. If she REALLY did like you, she would WANT to be in a relationship with you. She wouldn’t be mulling over the decision and wondering if she will ever be able to love someone again. She will know that she can do w... (read in full...)

Am I overreacting to his sex secrecy?

Q.   So, crazy title question, I know, but I'm not sure if im overreacting. A few weeks ago my boyfriend and I were talking about women "squirting" during sex (insert embarrassed face lol). We were just talking about it casually because we are v...

A.   13 March 2019: Well did you enjoy it or not? Do you give him permission to touch your body or not? If yes to both questions then what’s the issue? Enjoy the good sex life. He was totally going at it in a jokey manner as I think most people would. I’m not sure... (read in full...)

She blocked me and unblocked me on instagram, what should I do?

Q.   She Blocked and unblocked me on Instagram, what should I do? A short background story: I had been talking to this girl from campus for about 2 months now. It was going pretty well, and we had met about 3-4 times, exchanged our numbers an...

A.   13 March 2019: Nothing? She’s not interested, move on. ... (read in full...)

How hard is it being a single parent? And how do I explain this to my child?

Q.   hi i have just recently broken up with my partner of 5 years we have a 3 year old daughter together I couldn't keep the relationship going any longer no matter how hard I tried he made no effort to spend any time with me and our daughter we would ...

A.   13 March 2019: It sounds like you’ve already been doing a fine job as a single parent up to now! Keep it going. If your daughter asks where daddy is, then just keep it simple. That sometimes adults fall out with each other and they have to go their separate... (read in full...)

His ultimatum makes no sense! What do I do?

Q.   I'm in a dilemma - my long distance boyfriend and I have spoken about marriage and he says he wants to marry me. However, he at first didn't want a child and then agreed to have one with me "because he wants a life and marriage with me". We hav...

A.   13 March 2019: What a selfish idiot. Feeding you lies to win you back that he had no intention on going through with. Well you’ve seen his true colours now anyway. Block him and move on with your life, all the best.... (read in full...)

Isn’t it weird for a man to have pictures like these on his phone?

Q.   I chatted online to someone who seemed really lovely. He told me that he was very needy, I am done with needy men but I thought I shall give him a chance. We met, he was lovely but he talked too much which irritating me, while he was showing m...

A.   13 March 2019: ‘I am done with needy men but I thought I will give him a chance’ So you’re not done with them then? You’ve already told us that you don’t want to date this kind of man again so why do you neee advice to tell you not to do it?... (read in full...)

He said I was overthinking things and now it’s all awkward! What do I do?

Q.   So, basically theres this guy ive been messaging, we know each other well due to his son being in the same class as my brother. I decided to email him over the half term just to see how he was and that i missed him last week and kind of wanted t...

A.   13 March 2019: Didn’t you like the advice the last time you asked?... (read in full...)

He won’t listen to me, that he has no need to prove himself! How to get through to him?

Q.   Hi, I have known a guy for about four years and have been dating him for nearly two years, he is good friends with my family and he and my Grandad are always winding each other up. They love the banter but as per usual my Grandad took it a bit too ...

A.   12 March 2019: I’m not sure what the problem is here. Your BF is being more romantic.....enjoy it.... (read in full...)

I can't let go of what my boyfriend did

Q.   Hello, I recently posted about my boyfriend crossing the line. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-think-this-is-not-acceptable-and-he.html Him and I talked about it and he says he understands how I see that he crossed the line and that he will...

A.   12 March 2019: Yes. Definitely the right choice, forget about him. ... (read in full...)

His ultimatum makes no sense! What do I do?

Q.   I'm in a dilemma - my long distance boyfriend and I have spoken about marriage and he says he wants to marry me. However, he at first didn't want a child and then agreed to have one with me "because he wants a life and marriage with me". We hav...

A.   12 March 2019: I think this is probably the end of the relationship here. He doesn’t want a child, end of. Why’s he trying to make this into some kind of business deal? I’d feel sorry a child who’s father only wanted it for the sake of keeping a relation... (read in full...)

His ultimatum makes no sense! What do I do?

Q.   I'm in a dilemma - my long distance boyfriend and I have spoken about marriage and he says he wants to marry me. However, he at first didn't want a child and then agreed to have one with me "because he wants a life and marriage with me". We hav...

A.   11 March 2019: As you said, they make no sense whatsoever. Sounds to me that he doesn’t want to move so he’s trying to reel you in by promising you a child. If he has to move to you, you miss out on a child. Where’s the logic in that? Sounds like he’s trying t... (read in full...)

Would you date a toothless guy?

Q.   Will you date someone with no teeth? I mean, i know hes not broke, he has 2 jobs in LA, he has Volkswagon car and can travel anytime he wants. Im just curious why he wont go dentist for it to be fixed. Lol...

A.   11 March 2019: Nope. I don’t understand how somebody could not want teeth. That shows a clear lack of hygiene or a severe addiction to drugs at some point in his life. Either way it would be a no from me.... (read in full...)

She said yes to the date...but her female friend wants to join us as well!

Q.   I asked a girl on a date and she said yes. but we were not sure what day we were both free. A few days later i suggested two dates, the first she was busy and the second she said maybe. A few days later we were chatting and I asked her to remember ...

A.   11 March 2019: Not interested. She was ‘busy’, then ‘hmmm maybe’ now ‘yeah I’ll come if I can bring X along’. If you ask someone on a date and they’re genuinely busy but DO want to go on the date, they will MAKE time somewhere. You gave this girl 2 chances a... (read in full...)

My FWB blocked me on WhatsApp!

Q.   what do you do/say to someone that has blocked you in wassup? I was seeing this guy for about 2 yrs. It wasn't a serious relationship but it is a friend with benefits. ...

A.   11 March 2019: You move on? Really simple. Why would you even be pondering this? It was only sex, you can get that from anywhere. Unless you’re not being truthful and you have feelings? Either way, this guy wants nothing more to do with you. Get over it.... (read in full...)

Divorced guy asked me for drinks then backtracked and said that we should stop before things get complicated!

Q.   Theres this guy that ive been talking to via email. We know each other well due to his son going through school with my brother. Ive always liked him, but never really said anything. So recently I decided to send him a message to see how he was. We ...

A.   11 March 2019: Listen to what he’s telling you, end things here. He is being very honest with you, if you try to pry any further then you may get unwanted outcomes. What good situation begins with someone telling you things should end before they’ve begun? H... (read in full...)

3 plus affairs, Do my wife really love me?

Q.   My wife and I have been married for 28 years. However, in those 28 years, my wife has had 3 affairs on me that I catch her doing. I now have the same feeling that something is going on. What I am mostly concerned about is do she really love me or is ...

A.   11 March 2019: I think you’re being foolish to put your energy into trying to fix things. A woman who’s in love doesn’t cheat multiple times. Where’s your self respect? Get out before you go insane.... (read in full...)

Am I just paranoid/jealous or is my boyfriend's cousin really weird with him?

Q.   Hi I've been having weird gut feelings. Ever since I've started dating him his cousin seems to have a problem with me. She's accused me of changing him when I haven't done anything and sent me hate messages which caused tension between me, her and ...

A.   11 March 2019: Yep, this is definitely weird. This girl is attracted to your BF to some degree and is jealous, theres no other logical explanation for it. If he really wanted her out of his business he would tell her straight. The fact he’s not doing this sho... (read in full...)

She blocked me on facebook because I looked her up

Q.   Been seeing this woman for four months, have a lot of fun going out dancing movies places to eat, the sex is great, but she only has time to see me once a week,I told her I looked her up on Facebook, she got really mad,she said that's personal, so ...

A.   9 March 2019: If you think this is the signs of a healthy relationship then I’m not sure what to say here. She’s obviously hiding you from something. Surely you think you can do better than this?... (read in full...)

I suspect he’s trying to cheat on her with me. Should I confront him?

Q.   I matched with his guy on a dating site a couple months ago and give him my number. He clearly only wants to hook up and that's ok with me because I'm not trying to date him, just wanna have some fun with him. We have yet to meet in person but I did ...

A.   9 March 2019: If you’re this bothered by the whole scenario then why not just block him and move on? Is a fuck really worth the hassle of trying to work out who this mystery woman is? There’s plenty of other guys out there you could have sex with. ... (read in full...)

Do I stay with my job with little time off and great money or go for something less stressful?

Q.   This isn't a relationship question, but a work one instead. Last year I posted a question about becoming a chef and got loads of great replies. I love most of my job and the pay is good and I have had a promotion and my manager wants to promote...

A.   9 March 2019: Well you tell us. What’s more important? Your mental health and well being or 3-4K? It sounds very obvious to me when it’s put into simple terms like that. If you do decide to switch jobs, I wouldn’t do it without first having another solid jo... (read in full...)

I can't let go of what my boyfriend did

Q.   Hello, I recently posted about my boyfriend crossing the line. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-think-this-is-not-acceptable-and-he.html Him and I talked about it and he says he understands how I see that he crossed the line and that he will...

A.   9 March 2019: Break up? Quite simple really. The only way he could disrespect you anymore than what he has been doing is by sleeping with her. I don’t know any of my friends that take other girls besides their GFs out for meals and pay for them. Do you ... (read in full...)

3 plus affairs, Do my wife really love me?

Q.   My wife and I have been married for 28 years. However, in those 28 years, my wife has had 3 affairs on me that I catch her doing. I now have the same feeling that something is going on. What I am mostly concerned about is do she really love me or is ...

A.   3 March 2019: Come on man. Seriously? Are you a doormat or a human being? She wouldn’t of cheated once if she loved you. ... (read in full...)

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