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"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".
'If you're going through hell, keep going'
I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth. |
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| Latest articles: Afraid to commit
No replies yet... 8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...
Thank you DC!
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...
Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
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Don't like to see the signs of the girls he's been with in the past
Q. In love with my boyfriend of a year sex and love life is great but I feel like I can’t fully give my self to him he has so many back scars scratches from another or other females in the past I hate seeing him in the light with no shirt seeing other ...
A. 6 November 2019: Break up with him then.
What’s he supposed to do? Get a skin graft?
We all have a past, even you. Should he leave you because you have slept with people in the past? Either deal with it or break up with him, he deserves better than a partner w... (read in full...)
Husband’s Weight Gain and Lazy, Selfish Attitude is Ruining Our Marriage
Q. My husband and I have been married a little over a year and it has been extremely difficult. When we were dating he was so sweet and so generous, I honestly never imagined we would ever be struggling like we are now. I expected a marriage where we ...
A. 5 November 2019: STOP worrying about pleasing HIM, what is HE doing to please YOU?? You’re still giving in to his demands, you’re basically being backed into a corner to suck his dick every night when you don’t want to just so he doesn’t watch porn. That is NOT ... (read in full...)
Why am I so anxious about dating my g/f. I'm starting to think I have a commitment phobia
Q. Last night I asked a girl that I like very much and have very strong feelings for to be my girlfriend. In spanish we have a great interim between liking and loving called "te quiero mucho". That's where we are right now. We've been seeing each...
A. 30 October 2019: Good luck man, enjoy the journey ????... (read in full...)
Husband’s Weight Gain and Lazy, Selfish Attitude is Ruining Our Marriage
Q. My husband and I have been married a little over a year and it has been extremely difficult. When we were dating he was so sweet and so generous, I honestly never imagined we would ever be struggling like we are now. I expected a marriage where we ...
A. 29 October 2019: Divorce is not an option but you haven’t described a single thing you like about him?
You are his slave. You’ve literally accepted being this mans slave. You tried to argue your side in the earlier days and that didn’t work and now you’ve given in... (read in full...)
I'm confused about where we stand even though she said she's not ready for anything serious
Q. when we first met but that all ended because it was basically my own doing. Recently we hooked up after talking for a few months. Everything just seemed right. We kissed held hands and I made a slight mistake in bringing up relationships. S...
A. 28 October 2019: So why aren’t you together?
Words mean nothing. I could say I love you, does that make it true? She says she loves you yet doesn’t want to be with you, where’s the logic? ... (read in full...)
I'm confused about where we stand even though she said she's not ready for anything serious
Q. when we first met but that all ended because it was basically my own doing. Recently we hooked up after talking for a few months. Everything just seemed right. We kissed held hands and I made a slight mistake in bringing up relationships. S...
A. 25 October 2019: You’re right, if people are meant to be, nothing will hold them back.
She’s very clearly told you twice she’s not ready for a relationship, which translates to, I don’t want a relationship with ‘you’. If she wanted to date you, there wouldn’t... (read in full...)
On the first date she said she loved me, then made love to me and said she doesn't remember a thing.
Q. Would love ya’lls thoughts on the following story. This is part one of 2. I’m currently feeling drained and completely destroyed by a woman. Please help me decipher the type of woman she is and where I went wrong. Me: 38yrs old, above average...
A. 25 October 2019: If your brain is seeing her actions as red flags, LISTEN to it!
Part 2 not needed, block her and move on with your life. ... (read in full...)
I'm a grown man and yet my mother controls my life. Help
Q. My mother hit me, threatened me, and made me break up with my girlfriend after one day. Here's what happened: Throughout my entire life my mother has disapproved of any women that I choose to bring in it. I know now that she is a classic example ...
A. 21 October 2019: Dude, what the actual hell?
You’re a grown adult, your mother has 0 control over your life, you can do whatever the heck you want! Why are you pandering to her? Why are you still living under her roof if this is how you ‘think’ you need to be tr... (read in full...)
Accidentally held up an Ambulance and can’t forgive myself!
Q. Tifu accidentally held up an ambulance Accidentally held up an ambulance, feel awful So today as a fairly new driver, I was driving along in the left hand lane, in rush hour. traffic in the right lane queued up at some temporary lights that on...
A. 21 October 2019: Why are you questioning whether you should be driving because you made a mistake? Should you quit your job if you make a mistake there? End your marriage if you make a mistake? Why beat yourself up over it? It’s happened, it can’t be changed, why ... (read in full...)
Why am I so anxious about dating my g/f. I'm starting to think I have a commitment phobia
Q. Last night I asked a girl that I like very much and have very strong feelings for to be my girlfriend. In spanish we have a great interim between liking and loving called "te quiero mucho". That's where we are right now. We've been seeing each...
A. 17 October 2019: It’s normal, I felt the same a few times with my GF. I was 26 when we made it official and she is my first ever GF. I really enjoyed my single years and always said I wouldn’t get into a relationship for the sake of it so I took my time choosing the ... (read in full...)
I know its just facebook but my online friend confuses me.
Q. I got a nice one for you.. I never thought i find myself catching feelings with someone online, but i have. 4 years ago i friended a beautiful lady on FB. We pretty much hit it off as we have the same music interests, food, politics, and so on. ...
A. 15 October 2019: I’m not here to give sympathy for a post like this, it’s childish and not to mention potentially intruding on someone’s marriage, you need a reality check not a shoulder to cry on. ... (read in full...)
Could you explain his behaviour?
Q. Theres a guy at work who I initially fancied. We flirted quite a lot and he seemed like a nice guy. I thought he was really into me as the signs were obvious. However these past few weeks he seems to have changed. He still flirts (a lot) but he ...
A. 14 October 2019: Why wonder what he’s up to? Sounds like a dick and not someone you want to be entertaining, not to mention getting involved with someone at work is NEVER a good idea! Forget about him, do the job you’re being paid to do and remain professional at ... (read in full...)
I'm having a tough time with my new, older boyfriend.
Q. Hi There is this guy at work and for some time now he has deffinately been trying to chat me up ,the thing is im on work experience. He is probably in his 40's.A few weeks ago we went out and it got more serious and eventually soon after we ended up...
A. 14 October 2019: This guy sounds like a creep!
Who cares if you hurt his feelings, tell him to leave you alone. I’m sure if word got out of this at work he would come off as worse! ... (read in full...)
I broke up with my girlfriend now regretting it but I know if we got back together nothing would change
Q. So I broke up with my girlfriend two days ago. At first I was fine, I felt like it was a long time coming, but now I feel myself questioning my decision and regret setting in. We had been together 8 years and she was also my best friend. Tho...
A. 14 October 2019: How could you have possibly made a mistake? You’ve had 8 years of being treated like shit. The only mistake you made was letting it go on this long.
8 years and no one knows you were together? How could you even class yourself as being in a relati... (read in full...)
Am I taking too great of a risk dating a twice divorced man?
Q. I'm dating a man who's been divorced twice. He is currently 40 and upon asking him, he said the first time around, it was because they both got married very young (I think at age 21) and they stayed together a very long time. He said they were ...
A. 14 October 2019: You should be cautious of anyone when getting to know someone in the dating world. Relationships don’t always always work out as we all know and people get divorced, it happens. It doesn’t mean they’re any less deserving of being loved because they ... (read in full...)
I know its just facebook but my online friend confuses me.
Q. I got a nice one for you.. I never thought i find myself catching feelings with someone online, but i have. 4 years ago i friended a beautiful lady on FB. We pretty much hit it off as we have the same music interests, food, politics, and so on. ...
A. 14 October 2019: You are 40+ years old, this sounds like a teenager’s post.
She is married, she is off limits. Why are you even wasting your time? You have never met, never will meet and will never get together, what are you getting out of this?
Get a grip an... (read in full...)
I need help to get my girlfriend back.
Q. Hie I broke up with my ex girlfriend 7 months ago but I can get over her because I still love her but she moved on with another guy and when ever the guy see me either talking to my ex or standing with her he tell my friends that am a threat. I ...
A. 11 October 2019: You don’t ‘get her back’, you have missed your chance, she is with someone else now.
YOU broke up with her so you made the decision that you weren’t a good match for each other. You need to be respectful of her relationship and leave her to it, w... (read in full...)
Am I being an egomaniac or does this matter?
Q. Hi, I am a 38 year old female and have been dating a 45 year old man for 4 months. In that time 2.5 months has been long distance. We were recently having a conversation and I mentioned that a long time ago I was dating someone who a lot of people ...
A. 10 October 2019: Good grief, talk about blowing your own trumpet.
You both did the exact same thing, you mentioned your ex was good looking and he did the same but he’s in the wrong? This is a double standard, he may have felt the same way when you made your com... (read in full...)
Why does my friend get upset when I call him "buddy"?
Q. The other day I called my guy friend, “buddy”. He did not take this well and said not to call him that. But we have been friends for years. Why is this such a problem? ...
A. 8 October 2019: Because he has feelings for you and by calling him buddy you’re friend zoning him and he doesn't like it. ... (read in full...)
Am I in an emotionally abusive relationship?
Q. Hello, sorry for the essay in advance! So I am engaged to a man I have been with for 2 years. For context sake he is 12 years my senior, hasn't had a girlfriend in 10 yrs, is known to his friends being laid back and kind, and his father was not v...
A. 7 October 2019: Your therapist is an EXPERT in human behaviours, if they are telling you that he is emotionally abusing you then why are you asking a bunch of unqualified strangers? It is painfully clear that you’re being emotionally abused, no matter what pain or ... (read in full...)
How do I handle my frustration over my friendship with my ex?
Q. My partner and I were together for 6 years we aren't together anymore but remain close friends and still very much in one another's lives. When we were together she let me down a lot, she would lie, she cheated once, she would disappoint me as she ...
A. 7 October 2019: I think the problem here is very clear that YOU are expecting things that are never going to happen. You know her better than any of us on this website, she was VERY honest with you when she said ‘This is me, these are my behaviours and flaws, take ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend went on a business trip and ghosted
Q. My boyfriend of four months left for a business trip to another state on Sunday. Everything was normal and he said he couldn't wait to see me this weekend. We usually communicate daily. However, he hasn't reached out once and all of my texts and ...
A. 5 October 2019: Nope, don’t do anything.
You’ve messaged him and he hasn’t replied, stop trying to chase after him! It’s on HIM to explain himself and if he doesn’t then block him and move on with your life, don’t waste your time messaging him again.
The ONL... (read in full...)
I want to end my relationship with a married man
Q. I am in a relationship with a marrired man for past 8months. We had known for last three years. I am truly in love with him though its wrong. I don't have any intention to destroy his beautiful family. Hes got a heart of gold. I wanted to end the ...
A. 1 October 2019: He has a heart of gold? Lol
He’s cheating on his wife, he is a piece of shit, the absolute lowest of the low.
Block his contact and move on with your life, very simple. Stick to single guys, nobody likes a home wrecker. ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend hangs out with male friend and and don’t tell me
Q. My girlfriend soon to be finance chills with my best friend but i didn’t know about it . We broke up for like 2 days then she goes drunk and she tells me her sister went with her but i can’t ask her sister about it because her sister will lie for ...
A. 30 September 2019: You obviously don’t trust her so why are you thinking about getting married?
What a waste of time ... (read in full...)
My best friend is having my boyfriend’s baby and I can’t deal with it!
Q. My best friend is having my boyfriend’s baby and I can’t deal with it. 7 months ago they slept together behind my back. He ended up making her pregnant as well. I’ve forgiven them both and am trying to move on and rebuild relationships wi...
A. 28 September 2019: Why are you even still in the middle of this mess? 2 people you trusted fucked you over, why give them a second chance? Move on with your life with NEITHER of them in it, it will be much easier.... (read in full...)
I was brought into this company to improve it, but am meeting a wall of resistance and sabotage!
Q. I recently took over a company (4 months ago) as the new managing director. It’s not a big company as it only has 10 people. I was told that the company was not in good shape but that it should be easy to turn round and had 4-5 meetings with my ...
A. 27 September 2019: How are these people still working for the company if they have no enthusiasm and can’t even do their job correctly? It sounds like the company has gone through every possibility to motivate them and they’re still not happy so the only other logical ... (read in full...)
He didn't try to stop me when I told him I lost interest. Can I salvage this?
Q. Please don't make fun of me on this post because I'm not looking for smart comments like "Well you lost interest, so why do you care? There is this guy i was having a casual sexual relationship with for 3 years. All was great, except he wouldn...
A. 26 September 2019: Why should he make an effort?
You’re having sex with each other, that’s it. This isn’t a relationship, this is two people having a sexual, non-commital agreement so I don’t get what you’re trying to get at here. He owes you nothing, likewise... (read in full...)
Does he really expect that I will do the first move to contact him? Shall I just move on?
Q. Hi. Here I am again, hope u all can enlighten me. So, here I already broke up with my online bf 2 days ago and its really killing me. I am desperate to contact him again and ask him to be with me. He's my online bf that is so controlling, not so ...
A. 23 September 2019: How can you have a relationship online?
You can be anybody you want online, you don’t know a person that you aren’t building a physical rapport with. Why would you waste your time chatting to someone online when you could be meeting someone ... (read in full...)
Just because I blocked him doesn’t mean I’m still stuck on him, right?
Q. So, my ex and I broke up two years ago! We’re together about 2 years. It was a very toxic relationships. He never left me alone! Him and I would break up he would show up at my job. Or he would put things on my car when I was at home. He is...
A. 23 September 2019: I remember posting last time also.
PLEASE follow wiseowls advice. This man is becoming your harasser. DO NOT entertain his contact, end the calls and block the numbers and make a note of every unwanted contact he has made with you and report h... (read in full...)
I feel so dumb! How do I handle this?
Q. Dear Cupid, My ex boyfriend and i have been dating again giving it another go. He says when he goes out that he doesnt acknowledge any other women and that he still acts like hes in realationship with me. Well for weeks hes been acting strange o...
A. 21 September 2019: Stop wasting your time, he’s an ex for a reason.
You’ve caught him red handed and he’s making excuses. Find a NEW partner that things could actually work with. You’ve already broke up with this other dude so there is a HUGE reason why you don’... (read in full...)
Should I stay or leave my mentally ill boyfriend?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 6.5 years. I'm 29 and my boyfriend is 31. We met online and moved in with each other very quickly in a new town to both of us due to me getting a new job. There were some things I didnt know about my boyfriend until a ...
A. 20 September 2019: Edit: ‘He gets everything paid for him by others’... (read in full...)
Should I stay or leave my mentally ill boyfriend?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 6.5 years. I'm 29 and my boyfriend is 31. We met online and moved in with each other very quickly in a new town to both of us due to me getting a new job. There were some things I didnt know about my boyfriend until a ...
A. 20 September 2019: We see so many posts like this on a routine basis and the answer is SO SIMPLE. Why would you honestly be trying to fight for this guy? He is a loser. He’s lazy, unmotivated, a liar, a cheat and abusive. Please tell me one positive from what you’ve ... (read in full...)
Not sure what the next step is
Q. Hi Cupids! I've used this site for years and absolutely love everyone that shares some wisdom- this time I really stumped! I'm 25 and I'm at a point in my life where there's so many cross roads I'm starting to feel like I have no sense of bel...
A. 19 September 2019: The cost of living in London is ridiculous compared to the north of England. I’m from the north also so you already know how cheap houses are up this way as opposed to London. Have you thought about all of this? I remember discussing this topic with ... (read in full...)
Should I quietly delete him?
Q. I think i know what people will advise but its better that i hear it from other people and their views. I joined a dating site 4 month ago met a man had a few dates then he decided he wanted to be single he had split from his girlfriend 5 months ...
A. 19 September 2019: Telling someone that the timing is off is a polite way of saying you’re not the one. If he wanted to be with you, he would be. No ifs, ands or buts.
Delete and move on, you’re wasting your time here. ... (read in full...)
I started a lie that my dad was dead before I met my boyfriend. I don't know how to tell him the truth
Q. I grew up with an abusive alcoholic father who would beat me, my mum and occasionally my younger brothers. I grew up with low self esteem and anxiety relating to this situation. At 14 my mum left him, he threatened to kill himself if we chose to ...
A. 17 September 2019: I agree with the others, come clean.
Don’t let anymore guilt build, I would be surprised if your BF wasn’t understanding. Just explain that it started as a heat of the moment comment that snowballed and it’s eating you up inside not being honest. ... (read in full...)
The Guy I'm Dating Apparently Abused His Ex Girlfriend. Should I Dump Him?
Q. So I met this guy on Tinder and I've been for a drink with him. It went pretty well and he's really attractive TBH (tall, dark, handsome, muscular, works in IT which I also do.) There are a few things about him that bug me a bit like it takes ag...
A. 14 September 2019: I wouldn’t even be worrying about what you saw on his exes profile to be honest. YOU have told us that you’re already having bad feelings about this guy, that alone is enough to stay clear. Trust your guy ALWAYS! You wouldn’t feel that way if ... (read in full...)
Why hasn't my crush ever sent me a friend request on facebook?
Q. I met this girl about a year ago through class. Both of us were in relationships at the time but there was attraction, I would even say she had a major crush on me but she was very shy. I was going to break up with my partner and leave my number ...
A. 14 September 2019: Are you really 30-35? As this sounds like you’re a teen or something.
She has a partner, if she wanted to be friends she would be. Find someone who is unattached, NEVER try to interfere with someone who’s in a relationship. Would you like it ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a man to become nasty and aggressive over not having enough sex?
Q. is is normal for a man to become nasty and aggressive over not having enough sex because that is how my boyfriend is and I give him lots of sex five times a day every weekend. I feel like his constant pressure is starting to put me off him and sex ...
A. 10 September 2019: When is it EVER normal for someone to be nasty and aggressive? Never mind just in a scenario such as this.
He’s showing MAJOR red flags. He may seem sweet 99% of time but he is pressuring you into sexual activity that you don’t want to particip... (read in full...)
Girlfriend still hanging with ex-FWB
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for 6 months. In the beginning of our relationship she was still seeing her FWB, but 2 weeks in we decided to become exclusive. She originally wanted a relationship with the guy before, but he didn't. They weren't ...
A. 4 September 2019: Also I’d get tested for STDs if I were you. ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend still hanging with ex-FWB
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for 6 months. In the beginning of our relationship she was still seeing her FWB, but 2 weeks in we decided to become exclusive. She originally wanted a relationship with the guy before, but he didn't. They weren't ...
A. 4 September 2019: She has no respect for you it’s pretty simple. She will treat you how you let her until there’s a consequence.
Would she like it if the shoe was on the other foot? I doubt it very much. If she really cared about you she wouldn’t be putting ... (read in full...)
Will he come back to me again after taking space?
Q. I met a wonderful guy a few months ago and we hit it off immediately. He told me that I was everything he ever wanted in a relationship and I felt the same. He has a young son (3) with his ex girlfriend and I was introduced to him a couple weeks ago ...
A. 23 August 2019: How can feelings be TOO real? That’s one of the most bizarre things I’ve ever heard. How can you like someone so much that you don’t want to be with them and need space when you’re both single? That makes no sense to me.
He 100% IS playing ... (read in full...)
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