A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:There's this guy who I have started having sex with. (I told him that I wasn't looking for a relationship. He's fine with that.) So we started to have sex and he was my first time. A couple times he has gone a two weeks without needing to see me again. I'm generally a confident girl and feel like I make things very fun in the bedroom, but this guy kind of makes me think, "If he had fun with me, why would he wait a week or two to hang out again? Did he not have fun or?" In my mind, I want to see him every week, so it doesn't make sense why he wouldn't want to either. I even texted last night saying hey and he didn't reply at all. Does this mean anything? Should I not be taking this personally? No, I don't have feelings but I would like to know if based on bhm not wanting to see me more often, maybe he doesn't have that much fun with me? (Btw, he has another girl that he has sex with. But still, why ignore my text you know?)Men, please tell me any input! ?? Thank you guys!
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (21 April 2016):
 You told him you did not want a relationship, so to him you are someone he can call when he wants, you might want to see him every week, but maybe he is out chasing other girls.
A
female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (21 April 2016):
 Contrary to popular myth, men are not sex vending machines. They don't have voracious sexual appetites that must be satisfied every 2 days.
He contacts you, or responds to you as he feels the urge, and if he's being satisfied elsewhere also, his 'need' for you is much less.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2016): I don't think this happened because you made sex easy...you're the one who told him you didn't want a relationship and you knew he was Fing another girl. I don't get what you thought was supposed to happen otherwise. I'm sorry he's ignoring you though. you should find other guys too.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI think maybe you guys interpreted me saying "hang out." By hanging out, I meant "having sex again." When I texted him saying hey, it wasn't to start chit chat for the sake of chatting, but I was hoping he would reply so that I could then suggest us meeting up to have sex again. That's what I meant, not anything else.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (21 April 2016):
 He got to take your virginity and now he is sort of done with you, on to the next girl.
Is it because you aren't fun? Or he didn't have fun with you?
Hardly, but there is no challenge for him with you. There are no feelings for you.
You made sex SO easy for him, that he decided not not bother putting in an effort.
Maybe he doesn't want a random F-buddy - maybe that is just too dull, too easy.
You say you don't want a relationship, but your post doesn't reflect that. At all.
And why on Earth are you settling for a guy who fu@ks around like that? Who doesn't give a rat's behind about you?
Do you think because you gave up sex, he should WANT to hang out with you? Why? He can obviously get sex elsewhere too. So why have sex with a girl who "complicates" matters by wanting to hang out and text?
I think you are selling yourself short by having sex with a guy who doesn't give a F about you.
...............................
A
female
reader, Ciar + ♥, writes (21 April 2016):
This is what 'not a relationship' looks like.
You're an acquaintance with benefits, emphasis on the latter. Acquaintances keep in touch infrequently and occupy a lower tier in the social hierarchy. You told him from the beginning that this was what you wanted.
Your description of how you think it should be is a 'relationship', so perhaps you need to be more honest with yourself. That way you can be honest with others and weed out the incompatible.
...............................
A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (21 April 2016):
If all you are offering in a "relationship" is novel sex, don't expect much in return.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (21 April 2016):
 Probably he is having as much fun ,or more ,with the other girl !, and/or, for all you know, with a third, a fourth girl... it's not as if he is missing sorely out on fun times.
Plus, even if you were his only sex partner, when it's just sex- it's just sex, you know ?
I mean, it's like pizza : you may go to a pizza place and have the best pizza ever and thoroughly enjoy it, it was a great pizza. And yet , it's not like the day after or during the week you are thinking : ohmyGod, what a pizza, it was such a great pizza. Must have one again. Must make time for pizza ! I am counting the hours !
...It was good YET you can go one week, two weeks, one month without pizza, you have so many other dining ,social and recreational options. First time you have a strong hunkering for pizza, which may be in a week or a month or a semester.... you'll go get one again.
...............................
A
female
reader, RubyBirtle  +, writes (21 April 2016):
I'm sure he did have fun with you but he probably has a lot of fun doing other things too - his other girl(s), his family, his friends, his job.
If you're just a fuck-buddy then you need to accept that you will be deprioritised much of the time as you are not a particularly important part of his life. He might not have time for a weekly liaison. - just the odd occasion when he's horny and at a loose end.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 April 2016):
 He only cares to see you when he's horny enough to need to get laid.
YOU as a person do not matter to him. You are nothing but a handy penis holder to him.
he has more than one partner. Make him wear a condom.
and get another partner for the weeks he's with his other girl and make HIM wear a condom too.
I hope you are on good birth control.
best of luck to you.
...............................
|
