A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I really really really need advice. I am so confused and hurt:( My boyfriend and I were together for six months, and it was such an amazing relationship..I genuinely cannot put it into words properly. We met in college and after a while it got to the stage where he was basically living in my place because we hated being apart. Things were amazing. He would spend hours just lying with me telling me how much he love me and how hw wanted his future to be with me. He would get quite upset if we were apart for more than a day and I was the same. When the summer came we were very lucky because we're both from the same town so we didn't have to worry about not seeing eachother every day. Things stayed so amazing and we both introduced eachother to our families. His family even brought me away with them at Easter. Honestly,things were just so good. Sometimes we would be together and he would just look at me and say things like ''There's no possible way you love me the way I love you'' and ''I'm so scared I'll get my heart broken..you're the only girl I've ever loved''. Then at the weekend I got upset because he put playing a game of golf before seeing me and it ended up in anargument. I admit I was totally wrong, and he kept trying to see me that day but I wouldn't agree. He broke up with me,but the next day he wanted to sort things out. I ended up in hospital because I had to have my appendix taken out and he made very little effort to visit me. He then broke up with me again. That was two days ago and I am at a loss. I just don't understand how his feeelings changed overnight. Please help me:(
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2009): I'm the girl who wrote in with the problem. Guys I am actually at a loss. I genuinely don't know what to do. Everything was so good up until this and he constantly told me how much he loved me and how happy he was. Didi his feelings just change or what? All my friends and my parents are telling me not to get in contact with him seeing as he was the one who ended it, and I haven't heard a thing from him other than getting a message telling me that he wants a tshirt of his back. He also updated his Facebook status to single:(
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (22 June 2009):
 Not overnight, over a weekend, as you yourself have written. I am sorry that he did not visit you in the hospital, but I think he might be afraid of more drama or another confrontation! I'd be confused if I were him! You can't tell him what he should be doing, then falsely apologize, then punish him the following day by refusing to see him without expecting SOME kind of negative reaction or consequences.
That is just game playing, controlling and testing his love for you, which is NOT very loving behavior. He got fed up trying to figure out what you want, or tired of having to jump through hoops to fix things? In a LTR, you have to be able to give a person space, without testing their love for you all the time, or demanding all of their time and attention.
It sounds like you were being too clingy and controlling, from what you have written. I am assuming that you wanted to here a wide range of opinions, whether or not they were good or bad, in order to figure out what went wrong, so I am offering up my opinion. Sorry to be so blunt.
If you want to repair the damage that you have done, you need to apologize, once, twice, three times, sincerely, repeatedly, until you have proven you are truly sorry for driving him away with your games and controlling behavior, and then, if he takes you back, you have to get a grip on this part of yourself. Guys REALLY need to know that their woman trusts them, and that they can be apart without having to prove every moment that they still love you. Good Luck, I hope you win him back, Hun.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2009): Well, I had the similar experience with my boyfriend before. He broke up with me out of the blue after having an argument about silly things. But at that time, he was madly in love with me - I know this for sure for we got back together and he told me about this.Does he have some self-esteem issue or fear of rejection or something like that? Some guys who think that any kind of argument is just a sign of him being a failure and cannot stand the possibility of being rejected which he might assume that your current argument will lead. I mean, if you had never argued before, this one argument could be more serious to him. He might think that before being rejected by you proving that he is not enough or a failure, he might well just end things at this state. Well it might be that "he is not that into you", but my experience with my boyfriend, who was once my ex, taught me that some guys do retreat for fear of rejection.What I did was giving him sometime to think while talking to him sometimes. My boyfriend came around once he gained some confidence about us. Hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2009): We did so many thing togeter and had a lot of the same friends. It wasn't a case of just spending time on our own together..we each had our own hobbies and stuff too. I am just so confused as to how his feelings appeared to have changed literally overnight:(
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (22 June 2009):
 if he really loved you he would not have been able to express it that quick and lose it that fast. it sounds to me like the pair of you were "in love", but that it has faded.
he probably still has feelings for you but they might not be as strong as they were. if you love someone you treat them well and dumping a person not once but twice is kind of playing around with their feelings.
if all you ever did was spend time together doing not that much and declaring your love then that to me sounds like it could not have gone on forever. when people have a lifelong monogamous partner and love them for a very long time the way they express it is often subtle and they often treat each other like very good friends. you dont mention having much in common or spending time with your friends yet these aspects are important for a relationship to work in the long term.
you can do better than to be lifted so high only to be dropped twice.
also you are very young and these things can fizzle out when we are young, and you have loads of opportunities ahead...
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