A
male
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:Hi again. Ok, so these last few days have been a rollercoaster ride to say the least. I've now fallen out of love with a guy i've longed after for years, and i'm kinda happy about it! I've told a friend i'm a bit confused about my orientation, and he's really supportive which is nice. I beginning to think now that i'm bi - how do i know?? should i really just decide one or the other?? how do i explain to others, and myself?!?All advice welcome! Thanks Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, xAx +, writes (28 July 2009):
 To find out if you're bi or gay, try getting intimate with a boy and see if you enjoy it or not.
A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (28 July 2009):
 if you fancy both sexes then keep your options open cos you have no idea who you might fall for, but if you are simply saying you are bi so that if people react badly to the fancying men you can pretend it was a phase then that is also not the best idea.
keep your options open, but if you dont fancy women then dont pretend to yourself. to be fair i'm gay and i dont go telling everyone (its not the most interesting topic of conversation for those that are not gay). but maybe you dont identify with the over stereotyped notions of what a "gay" is. i find that modern categories often have ridiculous hairstyles and a self destructive party lifestyle within clubs that charge more for everything. stay yourself but be honest to yourself.
i like people for their personalities not their orientation, which leads to fancying people i cant have but i like writing songs and unrequited love is a theme that gives me material at least so there's some purpose to the mental torture. as for getting over people you have loved for a long time, its difficult and a major arse pain, so good luck with that and stay good.
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A
male
reader, q1605  +, writes (27 July 2009):
 At your age I wasn't into having sex with everything that moved either. It makes a person dizzy to the point of nausea. Bring your target to a complete standstill and THEN bang every thing you can get stopped. If I was bi, I would be dead by now. If every person on this planet earth could conceivably be worked into a sexual encounter I would drop from exhaustion in six months or less. And don't go all ethically evolved on us. My penis told me about a conversation he had with a friend who knew your penis. You act in control. But your penis has you by the balls just like the rest of us.
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A
female
reader, HateMyLife +, writes (27 July 2009):
dont worry what other think. I'm bi too. i know how u feel just go with what feels right and if u like both then ur bi it is as simple as that as for explaining urself u dont have to explain urself to anyone just be ur self and things will work out if u trying lying and hiding ur real self then u just getconfused, upset, angery and i hated myself for lying about it.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (27 July 2009):
 Sorry poster, my bad.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok, 'eyeswideopen' you've lost me, and to be honest, i'm not really into having sex with everything that moves, although thanks for the advice q1605.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (27 July 2009):
q Big Sis is looking for you
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A
male
reader, q1605 +, writes (27 July 2009):
If you get a kick out of sex with either gender you are pretty close to bi. But if you like sex with both, why would you limit yourself to one or the other. Other than the sanctions against sexual predators that must be adhered to, I would think it would be stupid to take what sounds like a guy that has a pretty healthy view on his sexuality and start hemming him in. Take it case by case. Bang a guy. Bang a girl. Bang two of each. Bang both sexes at the same time. It would be great to be potentially attracted to every one you meet. Does it double the odds of getting laid or does it make things untidy when it comes to loose ends. I know one gender, one relationship at a time, will wear me out if I don't stay on top of things.
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A
female
reader, niki20 +, writes (27 July 2009):
 You never have to explain yourself anyone. if you have a sexual desire for another man you can cconsider your self bi-curious. if you act on it and you like it and you want to continue with it then if you like both guys and girls you are bi. Thinking about another man specificly is human nature to be curious. doesn't nessacaraly mean you are bi sexual.
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