A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi i have been seeing this guy for 4 months now and has recently gone back to his own country (spain he is english) to live with his wife and daughter however he has told me how bad things are between him and his wife she beets himquite often and causes fights over nothing and always telling their daughter off over simple little things. he said he does now have any true feelings for her and personally i think he is scared of leaving her because he does not want to break up his family however he is unhappy in this relationship to her and he said he only settled for her because he thought that is the best he could do, although with me he has sad he feels better than what he ever has done. we text ring and email all the time and he tells me how much he loves and misses me and how much he was to be with me and have his daughter living with us aswell. but he just does not know how to get out of this relationship with been able to see his daughter as his wife has said he will never see her again if they split, and withot hurting her and she has already asked him for a divorce 3 times in the 5 years they haveeen married. before we started having a relationship we were really good and close friends even if he does not do this for me, do it for himself and his daughter i still want to be always friends with him even if we dont have a relationship.is this selfish of me? and also is there any way i can help him as a friend i dont want him to leave for me for him so that he can be happy please help
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (8 August 2009):
 If you continue to keep in touch you are preventing yourself from moving forward and meeting someone who is NOT married to someone else. You are also keeping him tethered to you emotionally, and not able to focus on the his family, the thing he went back to, remember? Now that he has moved away you need to taper off your communication and then become unavailable. Who knows, he may love you so much he'll finally do the right thing and get divorced, work out a deal to see his kids on the week-ends or something and come back to you. And if he doesn't then at least you will have made the move to get over him and find someone new.
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