A
male
age
41-50,
*tempest357
writes:My wife of 11 years told me today that she was looking for an apartment. she says that she need some space and some time to know if she can be happy on her own. we have 4 kids which makes the even harder. she says that she doesn't want to get a divorce, however this doesn't feel that simple. we have had hard times now and in the past. we have always looked for a way to work things out. i really don't want this. what do i do? can i salvage this?
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male
reader, atempest357 +, writes (16 July 2009):
atempest357 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your answers. Hopefully we can work through this,but it is so hard. I have read alot of the things asked on this site. It looks like its hard for all of us. So i guess im not alone. Thanks again. -Andy-
A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (15 July 2009):
 I think you should give her some space. If she's just having an identity crisis, it will pass and things will go back to normal and hopefully she will re-center herself with you again. If it's more than that, you may have to face some tough decisions. I suggest marital counseling if she's willing to go. Alot can be sorted out during those sessions which can save your marriage in the long run. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, BettyBoup  +, writes (15 July 2009):
 Hi. If your wife is a similar age to you, you must have married very young. Perhaps your wife just needs to experience being an independent woman for a while. Don't see this as a time to panic, she still wants to be your wife. Perhaps she needs to go thorough something on her own. People change throughout life. All I can suggest is support her through this. I know its a cliche, but if she loves you, (which she must do if shes been with you 11 years), she will come back to you when shes ready.Good luck
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