A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So me and my friend have had sex a couple of times. There are no feelings there at all. We are just good friends, are single, and have ended up sleeping together after drinking. All was well, but she made one comment that made me a little bit uncomfortable for some reason. During sex and playing around, if you'll excuse the detail, but it's relevant to the point, I like to kiss a girl on her tummy. Like slither down and just kiss her there a couple of times. The second time me and my friend had sex, she said 'ah yeah... when you kiss my belly... I don't think anyone's ever done that before'. She didn't say it in a negative or excited way, she just... said it. Did I do something wrong? Was it a compliment? Was it too affectionate for casual sex? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2017): I asked the question. Yeah, I understand you all. In fact, during this particular round of sex, having said that comment earlier, she did say to me 'can you kiss down my back?', and I did. So maybe she noticed that I was doing those kind of things and either liked it, or knew it was my 'thing' so asked for more of it. I just hope I didn't make it weird for her.
I just wasn't sure whether she meant it as 'hmm this is new to me but in a way its kind of hot' or 'oh, you do this during casual sex? that's odd'
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (7 January 2017):
 I think it was neither a compliment nor a criticism. As you mention , she did not say it in a negative or excited way, she just...said it.
She said ot because she noticed it, she noticed it because she found it unusual, and, she found it unusual, I suspect based from so many letters from DC posters, because many people nowadays , particularly young people, draw a very sharp, neat division line between
" sex for love " and " sex for fun ", and in this second instance they adopt a very ergonomic approach to it : no more energy expenditure than it is strictly necessary . So no tenderness, no gestures of affection, no erotic explorations outside of what brings them to orgasm in the shortest possible time. ( By the way what a lousy way to have sex , if you ask me)-
In other words, it's quite possible that she is used to have casual sex in a very functional , no frills, I'd say clinical way- and kisses on her belly are something
" fancy " which do not belong to her experience.
So, something new. But new, just means new , untried before. It does not have to mean it is good or bad.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123 +, writes (7 January 2017):
 Most certainly a compliment.
There are no rules for casual sex...You can be as affectionate or detached as you want because it's like a deal with no feelings involved. You both have sex when you feel the need for it and then go your separate ways.
As long as you're both consenting to whatever's happening, go with the flow.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2017): If there was no tone to suggest good or bad, you take it in stride. It's only casual-sex, so commentary or appraisal of your performance is unnecessary.
Please use condoms!
It's unusual for most guys to kiss anything before, during, and after sex these days. It was just an observation.
It would be okay to accept it as a compliment. If the words no or stop aren't said; then it's all acceptable.
Just don't use the words "love", or "marry me" in the heat of passion, if you're just friends with benefits. Careful of using such words, women take them very seriously.
Kisses are safe as long as you don't plant a passionate lip-lock on her, and act like a soap opera character. You will be sending a very powerful message. As the song goes:
"It's in his kiss!"
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (6 January 2017):
 Was it a compliment?
Definitely.
Guys in your age group are quite often more concerned with their OWN pleasure and release than that of the girl, especially if it's a casual relationship.
Was it too affectionate for casual sex?
I don't think so, there are no rules for what you can and can't do (unless you or she doesn't WANT to do it). If you enjoy it and she (clearly) enjoys it... go for it!
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