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My crush is moving to another country. Do I tell him I like him?

Tagged as: Crushes, Friends, Teenage, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 February 2017) 4 Answers - (Newest, 6 February 2017)
A female United States age 22-25, anonymous writes:

Back in 2015, I had met a boy at my school who had just moved from Colombia. We became really close friends, and within a few months, I had developed feelings for him.

Now, in February 2017, he's moving back to Colombia in a couple of weeks, and he doesn't think he'll be coming back to the United States.

Do I tell him I like him? I'm afraid it might ruin our friendship, and that I won't hear from him if I tell him, but I also don't want to have my feelings go unheard.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (6 February 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntI have to agree that there really is no point in telling him, nothing good can come from it.

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A female reader, Anonymous 123 Italy +, writes (4 February 2017):

Anonymous 123 agony auntAwwww...I can totally understand how you feel but really there's no point telling him anything. For one thing, you don't even know when you'll see him again, if ever you will. Secondly, if he liked you back then he would have told you by now. And let's for a moment assume that you tell him and he also likes you... Then what would really happen? You're 16 years old, you're obviously not going to get married (!!), you'll write back and forth a few times when he goes back, talk on Skype and then gradually your feelings will wane, you'll both move on with your lives and eventually break up.

Treat it just as a crush and have happy feelings about it. Sometimes it's best if there's no "end" because that leaves so many things to interpretation. You will forever have happy memories of him and of your two years together as friends and keep it that way.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (4 February 2017):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntIn your shoes, I would simply tell him that you will miss him very much and that your time together has meant a lot to you. This does not imply that you are crushing on him, just that you will miss him as a friend - which I am sure is true.

Perhaps you could put together a scrap book of your friendship, filled with photos or reminders of good times you had or interests/jokes you shared?

There is no need to lose touch with him when he moves but you could perhaps widen your social circle as well so that you get over his departure a bit easier?

Sending hugs. It's never easy to lose a close friend, especially one who is special.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (4 February 2017):

Honeypie agony auntWhat the point of telling him?

(What do you hope to accomplish by tell him? )

Is it for PURE selfish reasons to get it off your chest I say, don't. Especially if you have a sort of friendship.

Since he doesn't think he will be back to the US, telling him is kind of pointless. Sure you can have a Long Distance Relationship, but what good is that IF he isn't going to be able to come back to the US or you going there to live?

And there is the possibility that he doesn't LIKE you in that way - so things would be really awkward. You having a crush doesn't mean you are entitled to him feeling the same way.

I'd say just enjoy having a friend who will soon be back in Columbia.

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