A
male
age
41-50,
*rmyguy
writes:I am in th army and I leave for deployment in less then 3 weeks. My current girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 10 months, we have a great relationship. This will the first time either one of us will eb dating someone who is deployed. a few of my friends were talking and they asked me what deal my girl friend and I made about her dating other people while I was away. I had no idea what they were talking about, I told them that we talked about breaking up but we both wanted to stay in our relationship. They laughed at me and said that all girls (espically younger girls)cheat when they are alone for that long. So we continued to talk and almost every guy there (and there was almost 20 of us) had all had their LONG time girlfriends or wives cheat on them while they were gone. Their theory was you just lived with it and be happy that they are there when you get home. I was dumb founded. My girl friend is amazing, she is beautiful (she gets hit on every time we go out). I couldnt imagine coming home and finding out she cheated and just being fine with it. now all I can think about is some random guy banging her in our bed. Should I bring this up to my girlfriend. I dont want to upset her but I cant keep driving myself nuts about it either. Do all girls do this Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (20 October 2011):
 Ofcourse they don't ALL cheat.
I've been an Army wife for almost 14 years, my husband has been deployed 3 times and been away for schools/reclass and so forth many times too, and I have never cheated. Never even crossed my mind.
That is how I was raised. Those are my values. Not everyone have been raised to think of anyone but themselves. I have seen MANY army wives who have cheated on their husbands, but.. I have seen JUST as many soldiers cheat on their wives. And... judging from some of my "civilian" friends.. cheating happens there too.
If you are worries, talk to her. Tell her your fears and hopes. Talk about morals and values. IF she is worth a damn she can wait for you. Honestly, it is NOT hard not to cheat.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2011): If she cares about herself, then she won't cheat. If she doesn't care about herself, and respect herself, then all bets are off.
Firstly, it has nothing to do with whether you are there are not. People cheat who have spouses who come home every single night.
It has to do with the person, their own self esteem, their own internalized values, and their own mental state.
It has nothing to do with how you view them either...keep that in mind.
It has to do with how they view themselves, this cannot be overemphasized.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2011): No they all cheat,my boyfriend was a soldier,I never cheated in the 6 years we been together! He's away doing another job in Iraq but I wouldn't cheat,I love him too much! If your girlfriend cares about you then she won't! If she does then I guess she just was not the one good luck
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (20 October 2011):
 My nieces who served in Iraq were not cheated on by their husbands. Maybe you have some opportunistic or jealous friends who are hoping to ruin your relationship by making you doubt her? Sounds like you should take a closer look at your friends first, THEN you can evaluate your situation with your girlfriend.
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A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (19 October 2011):
 i believe that this is a very stupid and sweeping statement that your friends have made. of course SOME will cheat, but not all all. some girls are just not the cheating kind, no matter were you are in the world they just won't do it. talk to your girl. i hope she is one of the good onesbest wishes to youx
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (19 October 2011):
 Of course not, just like not all men who go off in the army cheat on their wives.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2011): Just gently breach the topic of how you want to remain monogomous while you are away- meaning you two remain devoted to each other. Just tell her you are making sure you are on the same page. Saying everyone cheats is ridiculous. Being in the military is often similar to people in long distance relationships, and not everyone in LDRs cheat. Same w/military. I was away from my fiance and Im 20, he was gone for a year. I never even looked at another man.
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