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People are like stained - glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
I've been on DC since 2007. I have seen just about everything you can imagine on here. I am a "softer" responder. I try to always give good advice with kindness. I genuinely want to help people and never want to hurt someone by the words I type since most people that come to DC are already hurting in some way.
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How can I stop cheating on partners?
Q. Hey everyone.....Im 16 years old and I have this problem. My problem is that with every boyfriend I had, i've cheated on. I can never have a boyfriend and not cheat on him. Its something that i hate doing and I know its wrong but I cant help ...
A. 13 February 2010: I don't think there's anything wrong with you, sweetie. You're young, and need to be free to explore what kind of a guy you really like. When you get committed at a young age, you really can miss out on alot, then suddenly you're older and realize ... (read in full...)
Is it wise to leave my 28 years old fiance for a 53 years old man?
Q. It's about 5 years already that I'm just attracted to older men.I can not be with young guys for too long.I find them boring,unreliable,hard to deal with... but because of my mum who is so angry at me for loving an older man that she just saw his ...
A. 12 February 2010: Please listen to rythym&blues. She's giving you good, solid advice. I don't care WHAT this man tells you, he's going to get old, and far before you do. He can run, jump, exercise, do whatever he wants..but if he thinks he won't get old..he's only ... (read in full...)
Is it wise to leave my 28 years old fiance for a 53 years old man?
Q. It's about 5 years already that I'm just attracted to older men.I can not be with young guys for too long.I find them boring,unreliable,hard to deal with... but because of my mum who is so angry at me for loving an older man that she just saw his ...
A. 11 February 2010: As everyone else has stated, if you are having doubts, then certainly don't marry the 28 year old. I'm assuming that you have thought through what your life would be like with a man 58? I'll give you a little glimpse of what MIGHT happen in your ... (read in full...)
Does he behave this way because he is jealous or because he loves me?
Q. since my boyfriend doesn't like when i smile at people ,who smile at me do you think he is jealous or because he loves me?...
A. 11 February 2010: I think I'd be a little afraid of a man who doesn't want you to smile at others. He sounds insecure and controlling. Does he also tell you not to talk to other people? I wouldn't say its because he loves you dear. ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to have friendly phone sex with a classmate when I have a boyfriend?
Q. well...im in a committed relationship...its been 7.5months..me and my bf really love each other..i want to ask that is it ok to have friendly phone sex with my classmate?(we actually don't mean it,its just 4 fun)i mean is it ok or whether i will be ...
A. 11 February 2010: I really don't understand how you can think its "just in fun". If you are in a "committed" relationship as you say, why are you doing this? Obviously you must feel some guilt if you're on here asking about it, so don't you too think its wrong? Would ... (read in full...)
Waiting to be struck by Cupid for Valentines Day!
Q. How long after you date a guy for him to know that he is ready to be in a committed relationship or dating u exclusively? What does it mean if he say, "You may not know it. But, you may already like me. We seem to click and should be in a ...
A. 11 February 2010: It means exactly what he said. I give him credit for being straightforward. He doesn't want to be exclusive, he wants to date others. And since he hasn't contacted you, perhaps he is doing just that. I wouldn't be waiting by the phone for his calls, ... (read in full...)
She was back in town and I didn't even know... why is she so distant now?
Q. I have been seeing this woman for almost a year and a half. Last May she went back home to New Brunswick to be with her sick mom. We were having the long distance relationship thing and it was ok. I recently discovered she was back here when she ...
A. 11 February 2010: I'm sorry to say but if she can't even bother to tell you that she's back in town then its apparent she doesn't think that much about you or your relationship. I realize how much this might hurt you, but you have to accept that she didn't want to ... (read in full...)
Should I explore life and leave my current boyfriend?
Q. Ok, i have a BF and we've been together for a year and a half. He is about 8 years older that i am, im 21. Do the math. Our relationship is good and strong. The only thing that is kinda bad is our sex life. There isn't 1.. 1 night a friend of mines ...
A. 11 February 2010: Miamine gave excellent advice. You're young sweetie..why would you stay with a man that you aren't attracted to? You will only be frustrated more and more as you get older, and more than likely eventually will cheat. If you know you don't want one ... (read in full...)
He gives me higher grades than the others and that makes me feel good...
Q. Alright. So the question isn't does he like me, I already know that one of my teachers this year does. I have no interest in him for the record. He's a middle aged man, around 45-50 would be my guess and he's married with I thhink 3 daughters. He's ...
A. 11 February 2010: You're at a very vulnerable age, and of course its flattering to have an older man show you attention. But if this teacher is giving you higher grades than you really earn, its wrong. And if he is showing you noticeable attention, this is not ... (read in full...)
Is he interested in me or just being nice?
Q. I have been going to a counselor for the past 2 years and can't ask him because he is the one I need advice about. About 2 months ago I developed an interest in him and there are some things he does that makes me wonder if he is interested also. ...
A. 11 February 2010: It would appear that he might be interested but you realize that it would be highly unprofessional of him to seek a personal relationship with him while treating you. You are treading in murky water. I think it would be wise if you are truly ... (read in full...)
I have stretch marks and want to get rid of them
Q. Im 16 and I have stretch marks on my breasts and legs. My self-confidence has dropped to ZERO. How can I get rid of them? Im so embarassed - manly because Im embarassed about what boys will think later on in my life. Please help me, how do I get rid ...
A. 7 February 2010: Cocoa butter, vitamin E, bio oil, and stryvectin are all things that I have read work wonders. I have had incredible success with vitamin E. I've never tried bio oil, but alot of people rave about it. I had 2 children and used cocoa butter and ... (read in full...)
For anyone out there who has been cheated on.. can you tell me when the pain starts to subside?
Q. Hi everyone, For anyone out there who has been cheated on.. can you tell me when the pain starts to subside? Only three weeks ago, I found out my boyfriend of eight years has been having an affair for the past year - and possibly the ent...
A. 6 February 2010: Hi. I know this is really hurting you, because you've posted about it several times now. No matter how many times you post about it, I'm afraid you're going to get relatively the same answers. First of all, its going to hurt...for a very long time. ... (read in full...)
Should I contact my friend or wait for her to reply?
Q. I have a long distance relationship with an incredible lady. She's my best friend and I'd love it if one day we were more. At one time we used to talk everyday, sometimes several times a day. Over the last couple months as her work has increas...
A. 5 February 2010: If she's had surgery, she truly may not be feeling very well yet, especially trying to take care of 2 children. It would be sweet of you to email her, better yet, why not just call her and say "I was thinking of you, wonder how you are?" What is the ... (read in full...)
My relationship seems a little one sided...
Q. I have been dating my girlfriend for about a year and a half now, things have been going great for the most part. I love her a lot, she loves me, but I feel like she doesn't always take mine or my family's feelings into consideration. We rarely...
A. 5 February 2010: If the two of you can't sit down, talk and have a mature conversation, I wouldn't say that there is a lot of hope for the relationship. If she wants to walk away or block you every time something comes up, she doesn't sound like good long term ... (read in full...)
He cheated, lied and got a woman pregnant....why did he do this to me?
Q. I am heartbroken, my partner who I lived with for 3 years not only cheated and lied for the last 8 weeks of our relationship but got a woman he had a brief fling with pregnant. He has shown no remorse for what he did and has walked away from all our ...
A. 5 February 2010: I'm so sorry for the pain that you are feeling. There really isn't one pact answer that anyone can give you. The cold hard truth is that the guy just didn't care enough about your feelings. He just did what he wanted to do, and when it was over ... (read in full...)
My parents wont listen, I am 14 he is 24
Q. im 14 and going out with a 24 year old. We both love each other very much but my parents hate him.I can understand why but they cant accept that im actually happy. He still wants to be with me even though my parents have givin him loads of grief in ...
A. 5 February 2010: At 14, I realize that you have very tender feelings and you feel you are in love. But please try to see things from your parents point of view. They love you, and want to protect you. They are just being parents. I don't know of too many parents ... (read in full...)
I want to end the relationship because she has put on too much weight
Q. I am trying to find a way to end a relationship with a woman who has simply become too obese for me and I don't want to hurt her feelings. Is there anyone who can give me some advice?...
A. 5 February 2010: I beg of you, PLEASE don't tell her that you are ending things because of her weight! That is a very cruel thing to do, even if it is how you truly feel. It could really devastate her. Obviously you have a right to your own wants and desires, and if ... (read in full...)
Is sex under 15 a good idea?
Q. Hi there, I have been wondering if sex is a good idea under 15. I have been really curious after a sex ed lesson earlier this week and as such am fairly confused on what to do! My boyfriend is lovely, as always, but I can tell just by looking ...
A. 5 February 2010: No darling, its not a good idea at all. You are not prepared physically or mentally for sex. It might sound like fun, but its alot more than just fun. Please consider all options and WAIT. Having a baby at 15 isn't a good idea either. Food for ... (read in full...)
7 years, now long distance. He says we should see other people. Help!
Q. Boyfriend and I have been trying to get work in another state. He just informed me he got a high paying job in the state where we both have talked of going. He said he's going to look for a place there this weekend. He also said that we should see ...
A. 5 February 2010: I'm so sorry, but I have to agree with Caring Guy. I think its over and he isn't man enough to just come right out and say so. 7 years is a very long time to just end it so coldly, but that is what he has done. ... (read in full...)
I always thought Valentines day was about the guy treating the girl. Now my boyfriend thinks I don't care.
Q. This Might Sound Bad But I had No Idea That I was Supposed to Buy Something for My Boyfriend For Valentines Day. We're Going on 4 years Now and Every Year he always Does something Extreme For me and I Love it! Though I have Never Bought Him Anything ...
A. 5 February 2010: I've always treated Valentine's Day as a special day for both the guy and the girl. Guys like special treatment too! If we don't go out, I fix his favorite things, a little soft music, candlelight, maybe some balloons, and a small gift. Oh..and guys ... (read in full...)
He said he was dating to teach his ex girlfriend a lesson. Where does that leave me?
Q. Hi guys. I really like this guy and we've been out a few times but he is still in touch with his GF and I recently found out that he decided to start dating as a 'payback' (according to him) to 'teach her a lesson' for some lie or other she told ...
A. 5 February 2010: Listen CAREFULLY to what he is saying about the women in his past..because sooner or later he will be saying similar things about you. This is not a man you want to spend any more time on, he just isn't worth it. He doesn't care about anyone but ... (read in full...)
What happens with "the friend zone"?
Q. um well this is not a question as such but is the "friend zone" a load of rubbish. I mean can any relationship last if it didnt start out with friends. and usually being friends gives a better understanding of some meaning you can form stronger ...
A. 5 February 2010: There's nothing wrong with being friends, but normally the "friend zone" means that one person wants to be just that..FRIENDS. Nothing more. ... (read in full...)
I'm 14, and I think I'm rubbish in bed
Q. OK well I have a great fantastic boyfriend but I don't feel like I really show my love for him and that he doesn't get what he really wants from me and that im rubbish in bed....
A. 5 February 2010: At 14, I would imagine almost anyone would be "rubbish" in bed. The scary thing is, WHY are you having sex at 14? Sweetie..you're way too young, and all kinds of problems can come out of this. If you don't know what you are doing, then maybe you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend gave me the same engagement ring he gave his ex!
Q. Hello, my boyfriend gave me an engagement ring that was previously used by his ex girlfriend. He says that he redid the ring, but the diamond is the same. It makes me feel uncomfortable. There is also a plus, when we started the relation...
A. 4 February 2010: No, no and NO! I would not accept the ring. NO WAY..NO HOW! Tell him politely that appreciate the sentiment behind it, but you do not want a ring that belonged to his ex, I don't care if it was redone. Tell him to pawn it, sell it whatever..and you ... (read in full...)
My BF thinks my friend's a slut and doesn't want me hanging out with her.
Q. One of my oldest friends asked me to hang out this afternoon. I haven't seen her in a while, so I was excited to see her. However, I know my boyfriend doesn't like me hanging out with her. We're both very insecure people, let me elaborate. The ...
A. 4 February 2010: I hate to tell you this, and you may not like it, but your boyfriend sounds immature, insecure and controlling. 3 very unappealing qualities...and none of them get better with time. Think very carefully if you want to stay with a man like this! Why ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to be glad he is not somebody other girls would be all over?
Q. When it comes to height and weight, I'm right smack-dab in the middle of all that is average for someone my age. I'm just under 5'5" and 117 lbs. My boyfriend of over five years, however, is not what you would call "petite". He has a foot of height ...
A. 4 February 2010: I think I understand where you are coming from. My husband is gorgeous to me, but the rest of the world doesn't really seem him at his best, he usually keeps a small beard, wears a baseball cap, wears baggy clothes to work, and quite honestly, looks ... (read in full...)
Please help me understand what my fiance wants from me
Q. hi,just new here trying to get some advice... i have a fiance for over a year now, we have this long distance realationship, . i dont know why he had the attitude of being so "negative thinker" . i cant understand him, if we are together theres ...
A. 4 February 2010: Trust has to be the cornerstone of every relationship. Without it, the foundation will crumble, and all that will be left is dust. Long distance relationships are VERY hard to maintain, I've been in one for over six years. Its all about trust and ... (read in full...)
Boy, revenge is sweet...
Q. Hi, my wife recently cheated on me with a guy who lives in a small town about 10 miles away from me, anyway to cut a long story short I found everything out, confronted my wife and then I confronted the guy in question and gave him the mandotary ...
A. 4 February 2010: The majority of aunts/uncles with the cool heads are giving the best advice. Of course its understandable that you want to embarrass the guy, but please think about the results LONG TERM. Further actions could get you in so much trouble. As stated, ... (read in full...)
I need to know how I can find out how he feels about me.
Q. Hi am looking for some advice. I am a 27 year old Single mum of 1 and I met a 24 year old guy about 6 months ago. We work together and get on really well. In the last few months we have been flirting etc and about 2 weeks ago as we were dancing at a ...
A. 4 February 2010: As the gentlemen here have so wisely pointed out, sometimes guys are shy, and rather hesitant about making a move. This man may be like that. So..sometimes we ladies just have to brave and make the first move ourselves. You may just have to ask him ... (read in full...)
I really don't think he loves me...
Q. I have a boyfriend that I love so much, but I dont think he loves me the way I love him... the reason is because I call and text him almost every day but with him it's not like that. I asked him last month, why is he acting in such manner? He said ...
A. 4 February 2010: Just because he doesn't call or text you every doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't love you. Men and women are different, and alot of guys just aren't into phoning and texting. My husband doesn't like to text or email me unless its absolutely ... (read in full...)
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