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Why is this guy avoiding me after one awkward conversation?

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Question - (26 August 2011) 8 Answers - (Newest, 29 August 2011)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

So there's this guy at work who I thought I could be friends with. When we first met, he wasn't shy, but nervous, and really friendly. Although we never talked (other than during first introduction), he always looked into my eyes with a sincere smile, so all the more i was excited to get to know him.

As time passed, I thought I should strike up a conversation, which I did, but it didn't go very well, quite awkward in fact. But anyway, even so, i find it strange that he has been avoiding me ever since. I mean, when we cross paths, he would avoid eye contact, and in general he avoids me at all costs, although occasionally I catch him glancing probably to make sure he doesn't end up near me by chance. I noticed cause of the difference from before.

What's going on? It's quite frustrating because it makes me feel like there's something wrong with me. And it's not as if I did anything weird like lash out at him, or drop him a confession and I definitely don't smell. Is having an awkward conversation that big of a deal to the extent of avoidance?!

View related questions: at work, shy

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2011):

I am the one who wrote the 6th answer here. It is good to hear your point of view in this situation. Do you think that most women in your situation would wonder if the problem is with them?

Would some wonder 'what is his problem' or 'if he doesnt want to talk to me it's his loss' etc ?

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A male reader, bruce lee Nigeria +, writes (27 August 2011):

bruce lee agony auntSounds like you remind him of someone. Maybe he once had a girlfriend years ago who hurt his feelings, and he's worried that if he gets involved with you, you might do the same.

It's a possibility. You could get someone else to ask him what he thinks of you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2011):

Maybe he is attracted to you, as funny as it sounds. I am sort of in your situation with the fact that I am attracted to a married woman at work, she has unknowingly caused me a lot of heartache, so I am trying to avoid her as much as possible- seeing her and talking to her, eye contact etc will not help me to get over her, and will make matters worse. Im sure with him the situation is not as bleak as all that- as she did with me (which of course doesnt help) maybe you could try and show him you are interesed if you are single.

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A male reader, Daniel the love doctor United States +, writes (26 August 2011):

Daniel the love doctor agony auntI'm curious to know what was/wasn't said during the conversation. Why was it so awkward?

But who knows what could be going on in his head after an awkward conversation. He may be avoiding you to prevent another one from happening. But if you two just don't click, then it's not meant to be.

What you should do is just move on. I'm sure you'll meet someone who you'll have better conversations with- and a better connection. :^)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2011):

There's nothing wrong with you, no. Just sounds like the two of you don't click and so there's no reason to further the conversations. I don't think it's something you really need to dwell on or anything. Maybe he thought you had a big crush on him and the only way he knows to discourage that is by avoiding you and any drama that could come about from you feeling like he was leading you on by just talking to you or smiling at you. You'd be surprised how many people can take little things like that the wrong way.

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A female reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx United Kingdom +, writes (26 August 2011):

xTheAlmightyDuckx agony auntHello. Well if he is quite shy it can really take the littlest thing to bash his confidence. Maybe he could feel it was his fault that the covorsation didn't go well and feels like he doesnt want to embarass himself anymore.

He could of caught on that you like him and is either to shy to really interact anymore, or just doesn't want it to turn into anything else.

Try and pin him down at work and strike up another conversation, if it does go awkwardly again just smile and laugh about it to try and make it abit less awkward. Feed off the signals he gives you in the next convo if he trys to keep it short and just shuns you off let him get on with it, if it goes well maybe that will break the whole awkward barrier and your convo's will be fine :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2011):

Darling, it's probably what you talked about during your conversation because anything could change a man's opinions towards you. You probably just said something which he didn't like or thought 'no this isn't the girl for me I should keep my distance' but if your that worried ask him. There's no harm in asking and It will put your mind at ease.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2011):

I believe that you need to try and talk to him again. If you confront him and ask why he is avoiding you he might admit that it was because of that convosation. I hope I helped.

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