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My man will live in my basement, but not move upstairs with me, WHY???

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Question - (26 August 2011) 4 Answers - (Newest, 27 August 2011)
A female Canada age , anonymous writes:

I have been in a relationship with my partner for almost 5 years we live in the same house for just over 3 years . We have great sex in bed lots of passion, but he only sleeps with me on weekends. He lives in my basement, I have asked him to move up into my room he refuses, why I don't understand help please

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A female reader, tennisstar88 United States +, writes (27 August 2011):

tennisstar88 agony auntUnfortunately, your post lacks info. Based on what's given, I can't give you an educated guess.

Do you snore, talk in your sleep, sleep walk, grind your teeth, anything that would cause him to sleep in your basement?

Do you two have an established relationship? Have you talked about marriage?

What are his religious views on sleeping in the same bed before marriage?

Has he always been a private person?

Did you ask him to live with you, perhaps too soon in the relationship?

Lastly it's best to ask him why he won't bunk with you, instead of living in your basement like a 35 yr old son. Always best to COMMUNICATE in your relationship.

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A female reader, Aunty Susie Australia +, writes (26 August 2011):

Aunty Susie agony auntIts obvious that things are working just nicely for him. Does it bother you that much? Does he consider you his partner, or a room-mate with benefits? Sorry for questions and not answers. Just looking for different perspectives on the subject.

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A female reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx United Kingdom +, writes (26 August 2011):

xTheAlmightyDuckx agony auntHey. Well some people just really enjoy there own space, and even though it is nice to sleep in the same bed somtimes it can get irrateing if the other person snores or rolls over alot etc.

I do find personally having a whole bed to yourself, and having more space is alot more relaxing than sharing one with someone else.

I would only be concerned if on week days he spent ALL of his time in his room and doesnt come up to see you or have dinner in the same room and spends all his time in his room. If that is the case it could mean that he might be up to somthing and it's just kind of anti-social to begin with.

If that is'nt the case i wouldn't worry. But i agree with the first post you should just ask him.

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A male reader, unknown2u United States +, writes (26 August 2011):

You'll have to ask him to get a real answer.

Some thoughts: being older and having spent times between relationships, you kinda get used to sleeping on your own. Two days a week with someone is great, but the rest of the time, when you're not up for sex anyway, not having to worry about sharing blankets, passing gas, whatever -- well, sleeping and farting alone is just fine.

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