| Latest articles: How to give better advice..
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
6 November 2009: This is a follow-up to my article on "how to get good advice" located at http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-to-get-good-advice.html This time I am going to delve into the area on how to give good or better advice to those who are seeking it. ...
Playing with Statistics of Chance
No replies yet... 21 March 2009: After reading a lot of "What are my chances.." type questions, I figured I'd delve into the little aspect of statistics of chance. A guy named Aaron Levenstein once said, "Statistics are like bikinis. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they ...
How to get good advice?
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 February 2009: You ask for someone's advice and expect to get good advice back, what do you do? You tell them your story and expect to get a good response back. Do you always get it? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. There are a variety of steps you need to consider to ...
Do these boots make my butt look big and the lies we tell.
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
10 February 2009: LIES! All of us tell lies from time to time. Sometimes small innocent lies, sometimes big giant lies. Some lies save us from being yelled at by our partners and others make our partners scream at us. Why do we do it? Can we not just get by not ...
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He says they're splitting up, then why does he still have his ring on?
Q. About 6 months ago a work colleague of mine, who I have fancied for 2 yrs, told me he and his wife had split up. We met up weekly, and until the beginning of Feb nothing much happened apart from the odd kiss.. One night I got drunk, was sick all ...
A. 3 April 2006: My money would be on that he is taking you for a ride. I doubt he'd long that ring so much to keep it on.. I wouldn't trust a guy who's married, who is so willing to be with someone else other than his wife. Unless of course the wife says the same ... (read in full...)
Can I get an STD from giving a blowjob?
Q. Hi, I gave my boyfriend a blow job. Is there possibility of getting an std? We have had sex but I'm just wondering about blowjobs and how you can prevent getting these. ...
A. 3 April 2006: The answer is of course yes you can. Herpes hiv and others.. You protect yourself the same way you protect yourself when you have sex. A condom which can be flavoured as well. ... (read in full...)
Oh my god did I cheat without knowing it???
Q. I was at a party recently where i got very drunk and blacked out, I slept in the same bed as my boyfriends(25) friend but nothing happened. I met one of his friends recently who started calling me a whore etc and saying that he knows what i did the ...
A. 2 April 2006: You definately need to find out what happened. Nothing may have occurred and it may be as it has been mention just that you slept in the same bed as another guy.. or it may be just a rumor he is trying to spread about you. but you may have to talk ... (read in full...)
Could has fluids have seeped through our clothes??
Q. Well, my boyfriend and i were making out last night and we were really gettin into it. I guess you would say we were dry humping but thats it. I didnt go down on him or nething and he hadnt touched his self while i was there but he did finger me. M...
A. 2 April 2006: Definately be careful. Dry humping may eventually lead into wet humping and that can lead to pregnancy. but as long as you know your boundaries and stick to them, you should be fine.
also be careful when he does fingering you as well. if he were ... (read in full...)
Want my relationship with her to be a LOT better than her last one... but how?
Q. My new girlfriend's last boyfriend thumped her in the back because she said no to sex as she was having her period,and did not even consider that she may be a virgin. He was generally nasty to her during their 3 months together. How can I make our...
A. 2 April 2006: Go slow with her. Make sure she knows you are there for her and will not do anything she does not want to do. If youare expecting sex right away, then I would suggest you move on before you hurt yourself and her. she needs a little room before she ... (read in full...)
I regularly --secretly! -- read my BF's mail, and I know his exes are back in touch!
Q. A months ago I made up with ex bf after 2 yrs. He had cheated on me and everyone else. For the first time in his life he took 4 months without a gf and had a health scare then became a new person. We decided to keep it quiet for a while. Now his ...
A. 2 April 2006: Trust is key in a relationship. If you cant trust him, I doubt this relationship can go far. Obviously, you do not trust him. Though it appears like he's doing nothing to earn it, but that is a different issue in itself.
His actions though w... (read in full...)
My married boyfriend is furious because a male workmate slept at my house! But nothing happened!
Q. Hi I have been seeing a married man I met at my old work now for three months now and have grown very attached. His relationship with his wife is over although they are still together for the sake of their 11 year old son. Trouble is I went...
A. 2 April 2006: May I ask why are they still together just because of their kid? I believe that does a big disservice for the kid because it's going to show him that marriages are loveless.. I would be careful and you may want to rethink being in this relationship. ... (read in full...)
I'm a virgin and he thinks that makes me "frigid" because I'm a bit nervous about getting close...
Q. Hiya, Well there's this boy who I really like and last night we got a bit close, closer than we have got before. I'm having a party next week and he's invited but he doesn't know whether he is coming or not. I think he wants to move things a step c...
A. 2 April 2006: I would say that it's not necessarily true that he just wants you for sex. though, it is a possibilty. before and if you give him your virginity, make sure this is something you want and not something he is pushing you into. My advice is to just ... (read in full...)
He wants me to give him oral often. So how do I do it well?
Q. This one's a pretty blunt simple question: I'm in a new relationship with a guy who is OBSESSED with oral sex, but I'm kinda new to this and haven't ever really given anyone head before! - please please PLEASE, as many tips as you can think of for ...
A. 2 April 2006: Like it has been said.. just act like it's a lolipop.. as long as you are not one that tends to bite lolipops to crack them. If he's anything like me, he'd find pleasure no matter which way you do it.. though I would say that lick the head of the ... (read in full...)
Is it worth trying to be nice to my toxic friend?
Q. Should I stay friends with a girl who: - competes with everything about me and what I do - flirted with the guy I loved for 3years, JUST to piss me off (because I think she thought the guy she fancied, fancied me), and then the guy I loved to...
A. 2 April 2006: Perhaps she needs to be the popular friend in your group and feels you are competition.. but well my advice would be to move on from having her as a friend. Friends don't keep their friends down. I doubt she values your friendship. bottomline, stay ... (read in full...)
How can I tell if I'm really in love with him?
Q. how do you know when your in love? theres a guy hes the same age and we go to school together. im really close to him. i think i might be in love with him. i think about him all the time. when im with him im really happy and i want to get close ...
A. 1 April 2006: Did your feelings appear before or after he started to date the other girl? it could just be a case of wanting something you can't have or the fear of losing his friendship and/or time with him.. Or a combination of them. But I wouldnt do anything ... (read in full...)
Worried that my sexy, flirty friend and my flirty boyfriend will go into flirt-overload. Should I cancel?
Q. I have a friend who gives off a lot of sexual energy and she is going to meet my new boyfriend soon. She has a sexy body (but looks ten years older than she is through too much sunbathing - miaow)! She flirts and sparkles and gets men drooling ...
A. 1 April 2006: If she flirts and acts that way in front of your boyfriend, I would find it hard to even call her a friend. If your boyfriend falls victim to the flirts than he's no good. Life has temptations, but it doesn't mean you should purposely walk into ... (read in full...)
I'm 12 and pregnant! HELP!
Q. I am only 12 and i am pregnant.Me and my boyfreind wo is 13 nearly 14 used protection but it split.Only me and him no but i need to no what to do.PLEASE HELP!(i have gone a few weeks)...
A. 1 April 2006: I believe you are right now jumping to conclusions. It sounds like you had sex and the condom broke and you are under the impression that that'll lead to a baby.. It can, but you need to see a doctor so you can get tested for pregnancy and std's as ... (read in full...)
I am so insecure because he's fibbing about his drug use!
Q. My boyfriend and I have just been through a rough patch. It seems as though he doesn't know how to bring up stuff with me thus being not so open. One thing after another new things have been bought up. I just found out that he has the ocassion...
A. 1 April 2006: Now when you say smokes, I'm guessing it's cigarettes. If that is the case, they can be difficult to quit. I've seen a lot of people try. You need to step back a second. You shouldn't "confront" him in a sense that you'd bite his head off.. If you ... (read in full...)
What's his game does he want me or not?
Q. I met a fantastic guy in june last year which i fell for. It was going really well and after six weeks his friends were asking me questions about where the relationship was going. I confronted him to which he replied that he was not looking for a ...
A. 31 March 2006: It sounds like you are being played as a yo-yo. You should step back from this and realize what's happening. You deserve better than being led on.. unless of course everything else cancels that stuff out.... (read in full...)
I like him but I'm too shy to speak to him!
Q. Theres a guy i really like and i'm pretty sure he knows that. The problem is i'm quite shy so I can never speak to him in person. Now i'm sure theres this other girl who likes him as well but he's always flirting with her. I've liked this guy for ...
A. 31 March 2006: "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."
You need to take that step. otherwise you're just going to be a billboard on his journey. You just need to be confident and be yourself. Don't worry too much about it. You have more to ... (read in full...)
She's chatting to her ex again. But I like him. But she's soooo beautiful! What will happen?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have this friend. Let's just call her B. B and I have been friends for practically our entire lives. We love each other like sisters, and she's one of those people that I'll be totally sad to leave when high-school grad...
A. 31 March 2006: well what will you get out of keeping them apart? If you do try to keep them apart it may turn into a bigger mess than what it is.. You possibly will lose your friend and still only be a person who has a crush on the guy who might just find Z. I ... (read in full...)
Could our relationship affect their friendship?
Q. Hi I am 25 and still a virgin and I don't have a problem with that it has been a choice for me to wait, I like this guy who is 23 and he likes me too we are actually going on a date this weekend. The problem is that he is not a virgin and I th...
A. 31 March 2006: But you are forgetting about the one about the guy taking a girl's virginity.
But I don't think you need to fret what you are fretting.. The bigger thing I think to fret is the sex issue.. Is he going to expect you to have sex with him and how ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is a distant relative...
Q. Hi I am 13 and have a lovely boyfriend but he's related distantly. Is that OK? And also I think I'm fat around my tummy. What can I do to stop this? I think I'm pretty and stuff but I think my tummy is fat. ...
A. 30 March 2006: You may want to define distantly. but i'm sure someone else will chime in on this topic.
But as for your comments on your tummy. Make sure your exercise and watch you diet is the easy answer. but don't be too concerned.. personally it's not too ... (read in full...)
I stayed after school and ended up having sex with my ICT teacher!
Q. I really fancy my ICT teacher. Then last night I stayed at school late to finish my dida (ICT ) coursework, and during that time, me and my teacher were talking and he leaned over and kissed me. We ended up having sex and now I don't know what to ...
A. 30 March 2006: You may not want to hear this butThis is very concerning to me and something that he should have not pursued. I'd be careful if I were you.. It's not a lie that there are guys out there just for sex. This goes a bit beyond the him being 26 and you ... (read in full...)
Do I stay with the guy who treats me well, or go back to my first love?
Q. Help I'm 15 and I'm sooo confused. I was going out with this guy (a) for ages and I can truly say I loved him to bits, but things didn't work out between us. Anyway now I'm going out with (b) and things are great between us. He treats me fantas...
A. 30 March 2006: I forgot to mention one thing that does sound a bit concerning though I think it's minor and just an illusion personally. You said that the guy with you is a little controlling and possessive... How so? I feel it's just a little justification that ... (read in full...)
Do I stay with the guy who treats me well, or go back to my first love?
Q. Help I'm 15 and I'm sooo confused. I was going out with this guy (a) for ages and I can truly say I loved him to bits, but things didn't work out between us. Anyway now I'm going out with (b) and things are great between us. He treats me fantas...
A. 30 March 2006: It sounds to me that you are starting to think heavily about it and are starting to make up excuses to why you should drop B to be with A. You've said B has been treating you fantastically and get along great sexually as well unlike with A.. why ... (read in full...)
Been chatting and emailling with a girl... What's a good time to ask her to dinner?
Q. I met a girl on the internet recently, and we have been emailing back and forth for the last few weeks. We have this thing going where we ask the other person 20 questions with each email, and then they answer them and send 20 of their own when they ...
A. 30 March 2006: Go for it. But here is a few tips.. Do not meet her having high expectations on how she'd look or how things will go. It's not fair to her or yourself. If you go in with high expectations, they normally are never good enough.
I've never had many... (read in full...)
Is getting tanned the way to get attention from the guys?
Q. A question for the men: do you prefer women who are pale or women who are tanned? I ask becuase I find that women with tans always seem to get the attention from men and I have pale skin and I often go unnoticed....
A. 30 March 2006: Don't feel bad about it. If the guy decided to go for her because of her looks, he's not good for you. You shouldn't be with someone that can't look beyond just the looks aspect of things.. He sounds like that type. don't worry about it. There's ... (read in full...)
Call for moderators to help out with DearCupid!
Q. Hi everyone, This is another appeal for volunteers to be moderators. You get to approve and categorise questions and approve answers. If you could spare say ten minutes a few times a week, then this could be for you! Just add your name in thi...
A. 30 March 2006: I would like to be considered to become a moderator as well. I personally stumbled across this site and have been enjoying it. Keeps one thinking. ... (read in full...)
I met a man, but he's married!
Q. I met a man a little over a week ago when I was at a club last weekend. I noticed him from across the room and one of my friends went over to him and he came over to our table. We ended up really hitting it off it was amazing and I think at that ...
A. 29 March 2006: I would be cautious.. He's married.. says he has cheated yet he kisses you. I would classify that as cheating. Ask yourself this.. Why is he at a club all alone? let alone talking to girls at the club. Could this be why his marriage is failing? I ... (read in full...)
I liked this guy, then I got a boyfriend. He's now my ex and I don't know what to do about the first guy..
Q. Last september I ended up sitting next to the guy i had a crush on in my physics class. At first it was really difficult for us to talk to eachother as he's pretty girl shy and my social skills are generally pretty poor, but after a year we built up ...
A. 29 March 2006: Yeah this is a tough situation. It's tough to say but he may have been hurt. even if you 2 werent together, if he liked you and sensed you liked him, you dating the other guy was more like a slap to the face. you failed to follow a major ideal when ... (read in full...)
He doesn't talk about the future of "us" any more, the way he used to. Is he over me?
Q. My b/f and I have been together for several months now and although things are going very well, I have noticed a change. During the first couple of months of our relationship he was constantly telling me how much he loved me and could see himself ...
A. 29 March 2006: I dont think it's over or heading that way.. as time goes by you'd realize a lot of things used to be spoken become less verbal. you may even get to the point where the both of you just look at each other and know exactly what they are saying even ... (read in full...)
Where is the *proper* place for a gentleman and his mistress to do their business?
Q. Hi, i live in nw england and i`m having an affair with a lovely woman, trouble is where can we sleep together during the day i`m fed up with quickies in the car, any suggestions?...
A. 29 March 2006: I'd like to hear and see if these assumptions that he is cheating.. and more so that he has a wife is true.. If he doesn't respond back and deny that it is then I would have to say most definately thats the case.. but he may not have a wife but a ... (read in full...)
I had to cancel our date, and now she hasn't called me....
Q. Met this girl at work, we talked over the phone a couple of times and hookup at work to see each other and we had agreed to meet up on a Friday to go out or in her case hang over her house for the first date. Well my job has put me on this shift ...
A. 29 March 2006: She might not mind if you are broke and unemployed.. My gf stuck with me when I lost my car for a month on something that was totally my fault. but well.. as for the selfish part.. I don't view it as that too much.. because it was the first date.. ... (read in full...)
Is getting tanned the way to get attention from the guys?
Q. A question for the men: do you prefer women who are pale or women who are tanned? I ask becuase I find that women with tans always seem to get the attention from men and I have pale skin and I often go unnoticed....
A. 29 March 2006: I see a tan as icky.. maybe if it's just a natural tan from just being in the sun from normal routine but not one that is gotten by actually going out of the way to do so.. and I know that going more towards the pale skin girls, when they get older ... (read in full...)
Why do I want a baby? I don't understand it! Help
Q. Why Do I Want A Baby I am 17 and have been with my 19 yr old bf for over 2an half yrs now. I am very happy with him, he treats me like a princess (hence the screen name), bu over the past few months all i can think about it having a baby. Now i w...
A. 29 March 2006: Those are natural urges. Heck I'm a guy and I have them.. but perhaps the best thing for you is to step back and relax a bit. Don't be too hasty in doing this. Give yourself sometime to have some fun until you are truly ready. Your bf needs to be ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is really childish and isn't changing. What should I do?
Q. my boyfriend of (9)nine years is still acting childish and it's a big keep back in our relationship i really do love him but it's really fustrating.now i'm meeting other people that i'm attracted to and i have feelings for one. what should i do ...
A. 28 March 2006: Why are you trying to change him? Is it because he is childish or is it because he doesn't act like the other guy you seem to like? I mean what do you consider childish? what exactly does he do to be called childish? It's hard to change someone if ... (read in full...)
He's my best friend and he's engaged to be married, and we're kissing and fooling around together!?
Q. I am 17. I have known my 22 year old best friend for a little over a year now. He is like a brother to me, and he is the greatest person I have ever met. He has been happily engaged for over a year (shortly before i met him) and i am good friends ...
A. 28 March 2006: I have a big red flag waving on this one.. I would stop.. To me it sounds like he is taking advantage of you and you need to put your foot down on this one. I have my doubts that he is a good friend. He wouldn't be cheating on his fiance with you if ... (read in full...)
I want a boyfriend like my friends and there is this one guy I like but I'm scared to start anything...what should I do?
Q. hey i have a group of best friends and all of them have boyfriends and always talk about them i have never had a proper boyfriend and it gets deppressing sometimes. im 14 and im brunette tallish and im curvy. there is this boy and we are friends ...
A. 28 March 2006: Well I wouldnt fret too much, you are still young and will have plenty of chances for a boyfriend. Don't feel you need a boyfriend just because your friends have one..
As for this guy, you might want to try to turn these quick talks to longer t... (read in full...)
I had to cancel our date, and now she hasn't called me....
Q. Met this girl at work, we talked over the phone a couple of times and hookup at work to see each other and we had agreed to meet up on a Friday to go out or in her case hang over her house for the first date. Well my job has put me on this shift ...
A. 28 March 2006: I think this is hard to recover.. You canceled your first date.. it's bad enough to cancel a date within a relationship let alone the first one. what you basically said to her was that "getting my work hours straight is more important than you and ... (read in full...)
Where is the *proper* place for a gentleman and his mistress to do their business?
Q. Hi, i live in nw england and i`m having an affair with a lovely woman, trouble is where can we sleep together during the day i`m fed up with quickies in the car, any suggestions?...
A. 28 March 2006: It's funny how fast people assume :) Though by what hs been said i'd problaly assume he's cheating as well, but he never did say so.. an affair does not necessarily mean it's a cheating affair.
Here is what Dictionary.com has for affair.
Affai... (read in full...)
We are no longer friends because she disapproves of my boyfriend. Why??
Q. I have written here before about starting a relationship with an age gap. I'm 18 (f) and my boyfriend is 32. I am happy in this relationship. One of my best friends has now stopped talking to me. She has never met my boyfriend, and she has let ...
A. 28 March 2006: I hard to believe you can consider her a friend. The least she could have done was met him before passing judgement on the relationship. some people just have trouble though with stuff they just don't understand. Love is like that.. Love sometimes ... (read in full...)
This guy doesn't treat me so well and he's always making up excuses. HELP!
Q. Hi I'm a 17 year old girl This guy used to treat me like shit and we used to fall out all the time though we both fancy each other like mad. he was into mindgames which is why he treated me like this...but he changed about a year ago and started ...
A. 28 March 2006: Well my question is.. Do you normally tell him that you'd let him know in 30 minutes? and if you do... how many times do you actually say yes that you would? If this happens a lot where you tell him that u'd tell him in 30 minutes and you end up ... (read in full...)
My vagina lips swell really big after sex, but go back down. Is there something wrong?
Q. Hey, i noticed once a few days having sex, it felt really weird down below and my vagina lips had swollen up and felt uncomortable, after going to the doctors and that and got checked out, we thought it could have been the use of a flavoured condom, ...
A. 28 March 2006: Well i'd recommend seeing the doctor again. I know it may be tough to do.. and would problaly have your boyfriend go to a doctor as well to get tested for std's just for good measure since you have said you've had unprotected sex which problaly ... (read in full...)
Should we break up? He seems to think we should..what should I do?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 1 year and three months. We have been living together for a little less than a year. Lately we have been having stupid fights and arguing. He recently told me that he is unhappy and not sure that he still ...
A. 28 March 2006: Here's the hard part. Give him time. Be patient. Here's a pretty good quote.. "Love is always patient and kind, it is never jealous. Love is never boastful nor conceited, it is never rude or selfish it does not take offense and is not resentful.Love ... (read in full...)
Should we break up? He seems to think we should..what should I do?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 1 year and three months. We have been living together for a little less than a year. Lately we have been having stupid fights and arguing. He recently told me that he is unhappy and not sure that he still ...
A. 27 March 2006: Sometimes you need to take a step back to go forward. Do not worry about taking this step back in the relationship, worry more about the outcome of it.
A) It will work out and find out it *was* better to be living together.
B) It will fail and... (read in full...)
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