| Latest articles: How to give better advice..
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
6 November 2009: This is a follow-up to my article on "how to get good advice" located at http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-to-get-good-advice.html This time I am going to delve into the area on how to give good or better advice to those who are seeking it. ...
Playing with Statistics of Chance
No replies yet... 21 March 2009: After reading a lot of "What are my chances.." type questions, I figured I'd delve into the little aspect of statistics of chance. A guy named Aaron Levenstein once said, "Statistics are like bikinis. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they ...
How to get good advice?
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 February 2009: You ask for someone's advice and expect to get good advice back, what do you do? You tell them your story and expect to get a good response back. Do you always get it? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. There are a variety of steps you need to consider to ...
Do these boots make my butt look big and the lies we tell.
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
10 February 2009: LIES! All of us tell lies from time to time. Sometimes small innocent lies, sometimes big giant lies. Some lies save us from being yelled at by our partners and others make our partners scream at us. Why do we do it? Can we not just get by not ...
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She might be pregnant what shall I do?
Q. There is a rumor going around school about my gf dumping me no one knows why but we think shes pregnant (we being me and my gf) I really love her and was gonna propose I already got the ring it was $1,487 which was all I could afford. I was ...
A. 13 June 2008: Well you need to find out if she is actually pregnant. Marriage can wait and honestly if you really wanted to marry her, you could do without the ring.. The baby will require more than that.. But i wish you the best.... (read in full...)
I'm scared I will lose my boyfriend because of my small breasts-help!
Q. I'm 17 and I have A cup breasts, and I'm worried my boyfriend thinks my body's ugly. He has said that he doesn't need me to have bigger breasts because he enjoys my legs and butt more. I think he's lying just to make me feel better. I'm scared that ...
A. 28 March 2008: A nice butt and legs are nicer in my opinion.. Big breasts just get in the way too much.. ;) But I don't think you have to worry. I think he may be sincere. Although I do hate these kind of questions, Do you think I'm fat? Do you think my boobs are ... (read in full...)
What are the Tell-Tale signs of your girlfriend cheating on you?
Q. We've all seen those online-articles, magazine articles, about how to tell if you're dating a "playa" or if your man is cheating on you. But I've never seen the inverse of that. How can you tell if your girl's cheating on you? Let's be honest,...
A. 28 March 2008: Jmo gave some great advice. :) especially the being defensive, offensive and turning it against you bit. My ef-gf did that to me, after I had solid proof. But then again, I did read her myspace mail. *gasp* but then there are a lot of other things.. ... (read in full...)
How can I tell my long-term girlfriend I want more sexually?
Q. My girlfriend and me have been together for over 1 and 1/2 years. We have no sex. She doesnt even like to touch my penis naked. But I finger her alot. How can I tell her I want to do more?...
A. 28 March 2008: Exactly, what Dee said. You need to communicate with her. Express your needs and find out why she feels uncomfortable about it. She obviously does not find you fingering her as uncomfortable because she is getting pleasure from it, we hope. ... (read in full...)
Why is daughter's dad bugging me to phone him all the time?
Q. Maybe I'm buggin' over nothing. I've heard from my daughter's dad but that's unless I text or call him first. Then he'll ask I haven't heard from you. The phone works two ways. I don't have to call you all the time. Then he text me this mor...
A. 28 March 2008: OK I had to read this a few times. Title is incorrect. Should read "My Daughter's Dad bugging me to phone him all the time?"
But well, You do have it right that the phone does work both ways. I have to question why he isn't spending time with his... (read in full...)
Secretly bi because my boyfriend is a little homphobic-Do I tell him?
Q. Ok, so I've been with my boyfriend for 10 months now - and its fantastic. Generally. We barely argue ever, but everypne has their ups and downs. ANYWAY. I'm bi. My first 'relationships' (continuous hookups for several months?) were with my two...
A. 28 March 2008: Perhaps he is just afraid that he'll get hit on by a guy? It does get awkward. But well, It's not always good to hold in secrets. If you tell him later, it may feel like you havent been truthful. Or if he finds out as well, it can be viewed that ... (read in full...)
Is it normal that I still visit my friend's grave?
Q. is it normal that I still visit my best friends grave even though hes been gone for 8 years he died of leukemia and my friends say that its not healthy to think about the deacesed, but im happy and talk to him even though he cant hear me I like to ...
A. 28 March 2008: I don't find anything wrong with it. You have a memory of him and you want to maintain it. There is nothing wrong with that. You want to talk to him and let him know that you remember him. I see nothing wrong with it, in fact, I find it to be quite ... (read in full...)
I look less mature than the other girls in my class, is my weight and height normal for my age?
Q. I wanted 2 know if my height and weight iz normal. Im 13 years old and 5.1 in. but weigh 90.5 pounds. My doctor says tht my weight iz just fine but i seem like a baby infront of the other girlz in my class cuz thier so much taller and weigh more ...
A. 27 March 2008: You are fine. Don't obsess too much about what you look like so far. You have a long ways to go still. 5'1" and 90 lbs is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, not being tall can be a good thing. A lot of guys do like shorter girls.. and taller girls ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend created a "secret profile" on myspace! Can I trust her?
Q. hi everybody, i have a long distance relationship since 2 years. i discover recently that my girlfriend (23 years old) have created secretly a profile in my space, where she claims to be single. i asked her if she was hidding something from m...
A. 27 March 2008: Is she hiding the truth or are you not believing what she is saying? I believe a hidden myspace is an untruthful act in itself let alone myspace alone. I would be hard-pressed to trust her on this especially if she regularly visits this secret ... (read in full...)
We've "made out" even though he says we are "just friends! Is this dating?
Q. i have a guy friend recently he would hold me close to him, and we would hold hands. when he was asked if he liked me he said just as friends. well we've kissed and made out. does that classify dating? ...
A. 27 March 2008: sounds like my relationship with my ex. *chuckle* just friends with some benefits I guess.. kissing benefits i guess.. but well I wouldnt classify it as dating.. just kissing friends.... (read in full...)
Should I tell this girl her boyfriend is cheating or just stay out of it? I would want to know!!!
Q. There is this guy who is cheating on his girlfriend. I know who his girlfriend is and I also know the girl is he is cheating with. I'm not close friends with them, but I know each of them. I want to tell the girlfriend that her man is cheating on ...
A. 27 March 2008: That's a tough situation. I would personally like to know if someone saw my gf cheating on me, but on the other hand it can always backfire.. Though one sneaky way of uncovering the truth is if you know where the boyfriend takes his affair a lot, ... (read in full...)
Why keep begging me to come see you if we're not going to have sex?
Q. My Ex-girlfriend wants me to drive 3 hours and come spend the weekend with her so we can "hang out and have fun". I just got off the phone with her and she says she doesn't want to have sex and that I can have her bed. The whole not have sex thing ...
A. 27 March 2008: I'm just going to say, stay away. She treated you badly before and now she just wants you to visit her? If you feel that you want a second chance, then so be it.. go up there and visit and don't expect sex. But I would be wary of a second time ... (read in full...)
I met a guy over the internet and we messed around in person, what now? It seems like I'm the pursuer!
Q. i met this guy over the internet.i had seen him around before and we were aquainted but never really hung out,until one night we were both bored and he came over and we watched movies.well he started kissing me and i ended up giving him a blow job ...
A. 23 March 2008: Well, you just need to figure out if he's worth the hassle. Personally, I think he may have just thought of the situation as just some fun and no relationship. He may have had his fun does not want to have a relationship with you beyond that.
O... (read in full...)
I don't think my boyfriend is the father of my baby... I think it's his cousin's!!
Q. im a 21 year old and ive been in a 4 year relationship i love my boyfriend but im in love with my boyfriend cousin i had a child last year and i think he might belong to the cousin as we were having an affair my boyfrind found about the affair after ...
A. 23 March 2008: What a tangled web we weave. I find it hard if you want to consider dating his cousin. But I guess first you need to find out who's baby it is. Only way to be sure is DNA test and see what comes of that. Now, as far as seeing his cousin.. there's ... (read in full...)
How do I get her ALONE???
Q. I like this girl, and I've been trying to let her know for a while. But everytime I get her alone I get interrupted by another person in the class. I'm in college and this girl is very friendly with me. I decided since it wasn't working trying to ...
A. 23 March 2008: Well, you have already emailed her and she still did talk to you. Though, she did not mention the email at all? Either she didn't see it or maybe wanted you to make the first step personally and maybe felt awkward on how to approach you about it. ... (read in full...)
Upset that my ex boyfriend is sleeping with his new girl in OUR house!
Q. Hi guys, I'm new here. I have a question. A few months ago my boyfriend broke up with me. We had a relationship for almost 10 years. A few years ago we bought a house. After he broke up with me I left (He asked me to leave). I'm staying at my be...
A. 20 March 2008: I would suggest that you move on. This is going to do nothing but hurt you. I feel you still love him but he doesn't. It's a hard situation, but you need to move on.
As far as the house situation, I do not know anything about the law where you live... (read in full...)
Can you becoming pregnant if you swallow?
Q. Can you become pregnant if you swallow cum? I was just wondering. Thank you very much....
A. 13 March 2008: Yes you can get pregnant even if you swallow cum. Though you also do need to have some cum on/in your vagina. Swallowing cum is not a good method of birth control. Always use condoms. This includes with oral sex as well to protect from STD's... (read in full...)
He broke up so he could party during his last semester of school without worrying about me, his exact words! Do I accept him back??
Q. I was with my bf for a year and a half and he wanted a break so he could go and party his last semester of law school without worrying about me (his exact words). Before he left we were having problems and we tried to fix them and three times he ...
A. 13 March 2008: I will have to say tread with caution. He left you once so he can party his last semester of law school. I'm guessing his partying included "other girls." Sometimes breaks can be healthy. A break to go party I don't believe is a healthy break ... (read in full...)
What is BAD sex to you?
Q. What, to you, constitutes "lackluster" sex?...
A. 13 March 2008: The "deadfish" "starfish" syndrome.. bluh.. always leads to stopping asking "what am i doing wrong?" which pretty much ends it. Moan.. tell me how you like it.. yes I get turned on majorly by that.. :) I think a good reason girls complain about men ... (read in full...)
He has a girlfriend and he wants to have sex with me...
Q. Recently this 22 year old guy has been flirting with me, I know him from a friend. I know he wants to have sex with me but I'm unsure wether to or not. Because your first time is supposed to be special, I know it's illegal, but I really like him. He ...
A. 13 March 2008: I'm going to give my simplest answer ever. Do not have sex with him. Do Not Talk to him. Do not pass Go. Do not even Think of him.
You are still young and there will be plenty of other guys out there more worth it than this guy. He has a girlfrie... (read in full...)
Trouble getting "hard". Is this common?
Q. I had trouble getting hard with my girlfriend totally out of the blue whilst we were fooling around. This has never happened before should I be worried?...
A. 13 March 2008: I wouldn't worry too much. Stress and nerves can be a big downer and sex turnoff. You just need to relax a bit and breathe. ... (read in full...)
Why is it that we are having more sex than ever and we are supposed to have split up?
Q. Why is it that we are having more sex than ever and we are supposed to have split up?...
A. 13 March 2008: My outlook on this phenomenon is pretty simply. You have more sex after you are split up because...You are not worrying as much about the relationship aspects. It's a risk-free, no-strings relationship. While in the relationship, you'd be worrying ... (read in full...)
My GF has rare qualities, biblical I would say. But is this worth a lifetime of sexual frustration?
Q. Hello, My gf and I have been together for more than 8 yrs. There have been ups and downs but never any really really serious arguments. As a person, she is far far better than me. Patient, kind, loving, forgiving, quiet, loyal - she is very much...
A. 13 March 2008: You need to ask yourself if her other qualities make up for her lack of in the bed qualities. You may be able to find someone out there with better bed qualities but find their other qualities lacking. Is it worth the risk for you? If it's not you ... (read in full...)
What to do to my body to make the first time special? Paint my toenails? Shave my pubic area?...
Q. Just a question. Planning on sleeping with a guy this weekend and am wondering if theres anything I can do ot my body to make it extra nice? Should I shave my pubic area? Paint my toenails? Wear perfume? Scented body mosturiser?...
A. 13 March 2008: Personally, I wish less girls would completely shave down there.. a neat trim will work, but I would love to see some hair but unfornately that is how society is right now. But i will say just be yourself.. dress sexy.. show up clean and then relax ... (read in full...)
Love Mess...
Q. This time last year I just split up with my boyfriend and was feeling vulnerable, I invited my friend over, who has a girlfriend and I told him how I was feeling etc and one thing lead to another and we had sex, it was perfect. He ended up telling ...
A. 13 March 2008: If you are okay with just having sex with him, then continue on with what you are doing. If you are wanting for a relationship with this guy, I will say STOP! He left a girl for you, then left you for another girl and is now coming back? I really do ... (read in full...)
I'm going to take the test!
Q. I had sex with my boyfriend about 2 months ago, we were kind of stupid and didn't use a condom... my period came fine that month but then 4 days late and really light the month after. During those 2 months I've had cramps like never before, I've had ...
A. 13 March 2008: I'm uncertain on how you say that afterwards you said your period came fine. Was it lighter than normal or just as normal? You may have just had some bleeding but still end up pregnant. Another scenario that I'm guessing on because I believe the use ... (read in full...)
Why does he smell his fingers???
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for over a year, and we have had sex. I have given oral but not received it, which was more of my choice because of me being worried about smelling bad (even though I don't think I do). Lately, I've noticed that after ...
A. 13 March 2008: Personally, I'm in the "he likes the way you smell" camp. But I can be biased because I like the smell personally. To me, if he thought you smelled bad, I would doubt he would go and try to smell his fingers when he could easily not smell them and ... (read in full...)
He has to work at getting an erection with me yet he gets one no problem when he looks at other women. Should I be worried?
Q. Most of the time my boyfriend has to work at getting an erection so we can have sex. He tells me that I turn him on but he has also told me that if he checks out another woman and is turned on by what he sees, he gets an erection quickly. Is this ...
A. 13 March 2008: Well I was going to write a tirade about how he may have a problem and chances are you can fix it by helping him out. I had a similar problem where I couldn't get it up with an ex-gf but then again her idea of getting me up was insulting me and ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my boyfriend that I slept in the same bed as another guy, even though it was platonic?
Q. I went out with my friends a few days before xmas, and it got quite late, so i stayed at a friends house. There were only two double beds, and four of us. The couple got one, and i was left to the other one, having to share with my male friend who i ...
A. 28 December 2007: wow.. the responses are almost split between the sexes.. but as for what happened not being wrong.. i disagree. Maybe because I feel that sleeping next to each other is something special that should be shared between each other, but then again maybe ... (read in full...)
I'm burning myself just by loving him
Q. Hello All My problem is very very completed. About me and my bf. We've been dating for nearly 2 years and planning to get married next year. Im 29 and he's 30 this year. Before we started this relationship I didnt know that he was getting married,...
A. 12 November 2007: Never be afraid to be alone. Being alone is often better than being in a relationship that makes you feel bad. Been there, done that. I am the last one in my family to still remain unmarried and childless and often pains me, especially with the ... (read in full...)
Reason to stay in the relationship
Q. Say you were with a girl who did not find penetration pleasureable by preference or had a sexual dysfunction that prevented sex from being satisfying.could you stay in a relationship where you only had oral sex??...
A. 8 November 2007: Well personally I enjoy oral sex a bit more as long as its mutual. Though penetration is good from time to time.. It's all a matter of preference for who you are with. There's more to love than just sex. But in the end, it's a matter of what ... (read in full...)
I'm burning myself just by loving him
Q. Hello All My problem is very very completed. About me and my bf. We've been dating for nearly 2 years and planning to get married next year. Im 29 and he's 30 this year. Before we started this relationship I didnt know that he was getting married,...
A. 7 November 2007: My thought on this is that you should not be afraid to lose him either. You have nothing to be ashamed of. He should be ashamed of himself for treating his wife like he is. You deserve so much more in life then to be punched kicked and ordered ... (read in full...)
I worry about the effectiveness of condoms!
Q. I am just curious how effective condoms are. My boyfriend and I have used them every time we've had sex - however i am still paranoid about an accident. I'd say we're both very cautious and safe about these things, but there's still a chance. so ...
A. 6 November 2007: Condoms can be very effective if used properly. But keep in mind, nothing but not having sex is 100% effective. If a condom has a leak, you could get pregnant, if it bursts, falls off and such. Just be careful and you should be fine. Don't handle ... (read in full...)
Is is normal for my boyfriend to still be in touch with his exes? Even after 9 years with me?
Q. In a long term relationship for 9 years. About a 2yrs ago boyfriend cheated for about 1 year with a younger woman. We are both 49 yrs old. We got engaged about a year ago. When he is with me his ph is constently off. I have been having problems with ...
A. 6 November 2007: It's not too odd for a person to be in touch with their exs.. but it is odd if he was still in touch with his affair. It is odd that he keeps his phone off while you 2 are together. I believe there's a bad reason to why he does keep his phone off. ... (read in full...)
Why wont she do with me what she did with him?
Q. my girl friend has been dating me and another guy. she told me that she was a virgin. i am a virgin and i found out she was having intercourse with the other guy. she said she thought of it as dating two guys. it's obviously not a level playing ...
A. 6 November 2007: I believe she's going to give you more headaches than what you need. I think you need to step back and think what you really want from this relationship and ask yourself if you think she will give it to you. I believe you will be better off without ... (read in full...)
Can surgery fix my finger?
Q. Dear Cupid's I have a major problem with myself. My left ring finger is shorter and the knuckle seems to be lower and you cant see it. I would like to know will surgery be able to fix this? As i have had enough of people calling me disgusting wh...
A. 6 November 2007: Learn to accept your flaws and be less worried about what others think about them. Is anyone worth your time who won't accept you even with your flaws? I wouldn't worry too much about it. Often times, worrying about it is what causes the most pain ... (read in full...)
A loving boyfriend and a busy soul mate. Whom do I choose?
Q. I have a boy friend and he loves me a lottt ! he is always there to help me. Spends hours with me daily n i loved being with him until i found another guy (X). X is extremely similar to be in habbits, activities, perspectives towards life. We are ...
A. 6 November 2007: I believe you need to step back and ask yourself what you want. Be careful not to fall for an allusion of what can be. I think you have a better chance with your boyfriend and that you are just seeing guy X as that new shiny car that you cannot ... (read in full...)
Gay guy with straight girl...and she wants to marry me?!
Q. I am a 22 year old gay male currently sharing an apartment with a female friend, someone I've gotten quite close to over the past year we've known each other. Only problem is she wants to begin an intimate dating relationship with marriage in sight ...
A. 6 November 2007: Does she know your preference? I am assuming she does.
Chances are is that she just wants something she knows she can't have. It's like that cookie in the cookie jar that your mom told you not to eat. You didn't want it that badly but when she... (read in full...)
I'm attracted to another, does this mean I want out of my long term relationship?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 10 years now and we have a 4 year old little girl,but just latley i am not happy,he is always tierd and never has nay time for me,it is like i am not there anymore. To be honest i have not been happy for a whil...
A. 6 November 2007: "Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight
..Got to kick at the darkness til it bleeds daylight"
- Bruce Cockburn
But I agree with Sweet-Thing on this. It's too early to throw in the towel. You have invested 10 years to this relation... (read in full...)
How can I Convert a Non-Exclusive Relationship to an Exclusive One?
Q. I've been dating my ex for awhile now. At first, after we broke up, we were just friends but at some point things became more physical and now we're definitely more than friends although we are not in a relationship. He is involved in the ...
A. 6 November 2007: I will say you need to tread carefully on this one. It sounds like he still wants to go out and have "his fun." You will never get a sound exclusive relationship if he doesn't want it or constantly strives to have "his fun."
He say he is emotiona... (read in full...)
I'm afraid I can't find a girlfriend. I am tired of being alone!
Q. please help i cant get a girlfriend despite making lots of effort being a male model. Im a 27yr old virgin and its seriously getting me down with loanliness, i dont know how long i can take this frustration. I know women like me to look at but im so ...
A. 6 November 2007: Just stop worrying about finding someone now. Just focus on being happy with yourself, whether you are alone or not. You are still young. Just go out and enjoy life. Spend time with friends. Just focus on having fun. There is a lot more in life than ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid I can't find a girlfriend. I am tired of being alone!
Q. please help i cant get a girlfriend despite making lots of effort being a male model. Im a 27yr old virgin and its seriously getting me down with loanliness, i dont know how long i can take this frustration. I know women like me to look at but im so ...
A. 6 November 2007: I think you need to stop focusing on being underconfident and believing girls will not go for an underconfident guy and start actually focus on raising your confidence. You seem to be too pessimistic in your outlook on the opposite sex. Perhaps you ... (read in full...)
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