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Do I stay with the guy who treats me well, or go back to my first love?

Tagged as: The ex-factor, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 March 2006) 3 Answers - (Newest, 30 March 2006)
A female , anonymous writes:

Help I'm 15 and I'm sooo confused.

I was going out with this guy (a) for ages and I can truly say I loved him to bits, but things didn't work out between us.

Anyway now I'm going out with (b) and things are great between us. He treats me fantastically and we get on great sexually as well, unlike with (a). However (a) has now decided he still loves me and I know that I'll never get over him, as he was my first true love.

However this isn't the first time this happened. (A) has done this before when I was going out with someone else and I ended up cheating on the person I was going out with (a), but we soon split up.

Now I'm not sure what to do. Do I stay with the guy I'm with now, even though he does pressure me slightly and is possesive? Or do I get back with (a) and see if we can make things work and hope that he really wants me this time? Not just because he doesn't like seeing me with someone else.

Please help. I can't stop thinking about this.

View related questions: split up

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A male reader, tux United States +, writes (30 March 2006):

tux agony auntI forgot to mention one thing that does sound a bit concerning though I think it's minor and just an illusion personally. You said that the guy with you is a little controlling and possessive... How so? I feel it's just a little justification that you are dreaming up.. but what exactly makes you feel this way?

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A male reader, tux United States +, writes (30 March 2006):

tux agony auntIt sounds to me that you are starting to think heavily about it and are starting to make up excuses to why you should drop B to be with A. You've said B has been treating you fantastically and get along great sexually as well unlike with A.. why would you consider something less than that? I would stay with the guy you are with.. because I feel things will end up the same with A and you would have lost out on B. Let things with B run its course..You say you have something great, don't ruin it.

My fear is that (A) only wants you now because he can't have you. If it was meant to be with (A), he'd be there for you as well if (B) eventually doesn't work out. People always tend to want what they can't have.. I'm sure you've experienced this before. It's like a cookie that you never wanted or thought of and then your mom picks it up and places it on a high shelf and says you cant have it.. Instantly you start thinking of ways of getting it without your mom knowing..

But you are still young and have plenty of years ahead of you, Don't sell yourself short and settle for less..

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A female reader, Hopeful +, writes (30 March 2006):

Hopeful agony auntWhy didn't things work?

What were the issues, was it a lack of attraction? a personality clash? wrong timing?

I think perhaps this sounds like a case of the grass is always greener?

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