| Latest articles: How to give better advice..
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
6 November 2009: This is a follow-up to my article on "how to get good advice" located at http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-to-get-good-advice.html This time I am going to delve into the area on how to give good or better advice to those who are seeking it. ...
Playing with Statistics of Chance
No replies yet... 21 March 2009: After reading a lot of "What are my chances.." type questions, I figured I'd delve into the little aspect of statistics of chance. A guy named Aaron Levenstein once said, "Statistics are like bikinis. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they ...
How to get good advice?
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 February 2009: You ask for someone's advice and expect to get good advice back, what do you do? You tell them your story and expect to get a good response back. Do you always get it? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. There are a variety of steps you need to consider to ...
Do these boots make my butt look big and the lies we tell.
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
10 February 2009: LIES! All of us tell lies from time to time. Sometimes small innocent lies, sometimes big giant lies. Some lies save us from being yelled at by our partners and others make our partners scream at us. Why do we do it? Can we not just get by not ...
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I'm afraid I can't find a girlfriend. I am tired of being alone!
Q. please help i cant get a girlfriend despite making lots of effort being a male model. Im a 27yr old virgin and its seriously getting me down with loanliness, i dont know how long i can take this frustration. I know women like me to look at but im so ...
A. 6 November 2007: Just stop worrying about finding someone now. Just focus on being happy with yourself, whether you are alone or not. You are still young. Just go out and enjoy life. Spend time with friends. Just focus on having fun. There is a lot more in life than ... (read in full...)
I moved to be with him in California, but now he's a Jerk!
Q. I have been with a guy on and off for the past two years. I was a sophmore in highschool when he left to go to school in California and I lived in New Jersey. We talked for the next two years without going out and I visited him in Cali twice. ...
A. 6 November 2007: You need to decide if it's worth the fighting to stay together. If you are only fighting, then there's not much there. It's bad you moved out to California to find this out, but it's the way life works out sometimes. You can try to make things work, ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid I can't find a girlfriend. I am tired of being alone!
Q. please help i cant get a girlfriend despite making lots of effort being a male model. Im a 27yr old virgin and its seriously getting me down with loanliness, i dont know how long i can take this frustration. I know women like me to look at but im so ...
A. 6 November 2007: I think you need to stop focusing on being underconfident and believing girls will not go for an underconfident guy and start actually focus on raising your confidence. You seem to be too pessimistic in your outlook on the opposite sex. Perhaps you ... (read in full...)
I want to get married and have a kid, but my ex who doesn't keeps wanting me back when other men want me!
Q. Help, ive got myself into a pickle. Im a 36 year old women who would one day like to get married and have a baby with the right man.I have no children and have never been married. A lovely 28 year old guy asked me out,he is handsome ,charmi...
A. 6 November 2007: Forgot the moral highroad, I think you need to just get rid of your ex to begin with. He is not going to make you happy nor if you continue to let this happen to let you become happy. You need and deserve to be with someone who will make you happy.. ... (read in full...)
Our friends brought up the engagement issue, and he says he hasn't really thought about it, should I worry?
Q. Hi everyone. The other day me and my boyfriend were in a takeaway talking to one of our friends and he was asking if we'd thought of getting engaged yet. My boyfriend just didn't say anything and i was looking at him with a bit of a disappointment...
A. 6 November 2007: Egads, why oh why do friends feel the need to meddle in other's relationships.. The way you have explained it makes it seem like you have a great relationship right now. Yes there may not be an engagement ring or talk of one or the thought, but when ... (read in full...)
We meet up once a week and it's only sex, but can there be more?
Q. I have known this guy for over 3 years. The last 3 months we've been dating or whatever you want to call it. We both have kids so we only get to see each other once a week but when we do see each other, it's really only sex and then he leaves. I've ...
A. 6 November 2007: I would have to say my first thought is that he is just using you for his pleasure. I don't think he can answer your question because if he does, he will lose it. Honestly, I think he pretty much where the chips are laying now. If you wamt to pursue ... (read in full...)
Quick orgasm - less pleasure for a man?
Q. If a man orgasms quickly does he enjoy it the same as if he lasted longer?...
A. 5 November 2007: I disagree a little bit with Peaches83 on this. I find the act itself to be more pleasureable than the actual act of coming. I just like the way it feels better. If i wanted the pleasure of coming I could do that myself, but you can beat the ... (read in full...)
I'm not getting any younger, where can I meet someone?
Q. Friend's tell me I should try to get out and have fun but god at my age I don't really know where to go..Thinking about just taking more classes this semester. I mean I work in a bar and am in college, I find when I am home,I clean and worry about ...
A. 26 October 2007: Take it from me.. It's better to be alone, than to be in a relationship that is completely sour. And I know how you feel about your family not making it easier. I'm the last in my family who is not married with kids. All my siblings (natural and by ... (read in full...)
I keep getting depressed, is there something wrong with me?
Q. I started university back in september, I really enjoy the course, I have a good set of friends, I go to the gym, play hockey and football, and people really like, a big change from high school. Yet I've noticed that I am feeling down every other da...
A. 26 October 2007: I wouldn't really call depression a disease. It's just your mind working in overdrive overthinking and overrationalizing the bad part in one's life where everything isn't perfect. It throws out the notion that everything in life isn't perfect. I ... (read in full...)
I broke up with my boyfriend who cheated on me, Is it bad for me to have feelings for his best friend?
Q. I just broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years!!! uhh i know, I am now 25. I come to find that he continously chaeted on me throughout the entire relationship. I moved to fla with him so he could go to school and all. I had absolutly no idea. He ...
A. 26 October 2007: How did you find out that he has been cheating on you? If it was from his "best friend," I would personally run the other way. As far as dating an ex's best friend, well that's an entirely different issue. Chances are is that they wouldnt be friends ... (read in full...)
He says he is working but I see him online! I want this to work but feel he is lying.
Q. okay, back with my bf. he seems to be pretty honest, but he works at a fast food place (cuz hes 16. im 14-he dated a variety of ages so dont lecture meee please) well for someone who works 4-9 how could he be on myspace at 7?? i dont understand ...
A. 26 October 2007: I know you do not want this to be messed up, but if you feel he is lying to you, you do need to talk to him about this. I don't know why he is online while at work, but he may be on his break and checking his email or it may be a glitch on the ... (read in full...)
Does he think I'm easy?
Q. Hi i'm 20 and i met this guy at uni...for the whole year we've been doing the whole eye contact, showing up at the usual places, small wave and a smile sort of thing and only at the end of the year we actually got together. We hung out and had a ...
A. 25 October 2007: I would not think of you as easy in the slightest. I mean a year of waving and simple acquintance activities.. and then finally just a kiss is by far being easy.. Now if on the first day of school, the first day you saw him, you pull him aside, ... (read in full...)
I don't take my contraceptive pill regularly, I think I could be pregnant
Q. Ok, I am 18 I am on the pill but I do not take it regulary, I only take it when I think of it. Me and my boyfriend have sex alot and we love each other and have talked about what we would do if i became pregnant. anyway, recently I have been having ...
A. 30 June 2007: I pity the fool who calls another a fool for they have most likely been a fool before. But anywhos... There is a chance that you may be pregnant if you were only relying on the pill on keeping you kid-free if you do not take it reliably.. If you ... (read in full...)
He didn't ejaculate when I gave him oral. He wants to try it on me now
Q. my boyfriend n i have been together for a few months.I gave him a bj but he dint ejaculate.He just got really hard.Is that a bad thing?Now he wants to give me a bj.will he lose respect for me if he does or not?Please help....
A. 30 June 2007: I wouldn't worry too much.. i know for myself I can take awhile to reach during a bj and I see how it can be hard on my gf.. but I would hope she would reach when i'm down there but well she seems more upset about it when she doesnt than I am.. But ... (read in full...)
He never pulls out before he ejacualtes and I don't want another child right now!
Q. My boyfriend always ejaculates in me, unless I tell him specicfically every time "pull out" And it can be that we have sex and I tell him to pull out, and he does then 5 min. later he is ready again, and if I don't tell him to pull out that time ...
A. 30 June 2007: Here's my take on it. I believe both are at fault here. First, You dont like condoms and cant take the pill and yet dont want another kid and yet continue to have unprotected sex. Second, he doesn't pull out everytime.. but he does when you tell him ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wont buy my car, but I think she should
Q. I recently suggested to my girlfriend that she could buy my car off me in about a year or so when she has passed her test. She hasn't even started learning yet. The car itself is in perfect condition and everyone who sees it wished they had a car ...
A. 30 June 2007: I make it a policy not to do business with people I want to talk to still.. If I do business with them, it's free and if i can afford it. If anything happens to it, who is she going to turn to? You are better off selling it to someone else, ... (read in full...)
Does sperm automatically die in chlorinated water (as in swimming pools)?
Q. i am 14 and have not started my periods i no should be normal but about 3 months ago me and my boyfriend went swimming and while in the pool he accidently let ' rip' of some sperm my question is, is it possible for me to be pregnant (that would be ...
A. 3 December 2006: Actually, You can get pregnant before your very first period or atleast the messy part. If you look at the menstrual cycle, you ovulate first and if the egg does not get fertilized and implant, the blood gets flushed out. so if you have sex before ... (read in full...)
He loves his ex and claims to love me, too! What should I do?
Q. well i met this guy on the net he is 18 im 28 he fell out with his x and started chatting to me sying he really like me and stuff, then a week later he got back with her, he says he loves her but he loves me to.he also texts me and still talks and ...
A. 21 November 2006: Age is not important here. If she likes younger men, then so be it.. it's who she likes, but the big concern is that he says he loves his ex and you.. My advice would be to tell him goodbye if he plans to be with his ex. It's not going to work and ... (read in full...)
Oral sex and the lifespan of sperm
Q. If u come through oral sex, and then in a couple of hours have sex without a condom but do not come is it possible your girl friend could get pregnant or would the sperm from earlier on be dead?...
A. 21 November 2006: Yep Yep Yep. My girlfriend got pregnant one time like that and many others have as well.. and ejacualtaing prior to that act increases your odds of becoming a parent moreso. My philosophy is if you are going to do something, make it good.. If she ... (read in full...)
I want to get revenge on my bf for what he did! What should I do?
Q. I want to get revenge on my bf for what he did but i dont know what to do. I want him to regret leaving me cuz i was the best thing that ever happend to him. He didnt cheat on me......he said that he dont want a relationship right now and jus...
A. 21 November 2006: Step back. Step back. This is why relationships make me sick at times.. The relationship doesn't work and someone is bound to get hurt. It's the way things go. You just cannot take out your hurt on him just because he was being honest with you. He ... (read in full...)
My gf wants a surprise Christmas prezzie, Oh Joy! What do I buy?
Q. I've been going out with my girlfriend for nearly 6 months now and I have a problem - Christmas. I asked her what she wanted and she said surprise me. Brilliant. So can anyone tell me what type of present I should get her. She knows what I lik...
A. 19 November 2006: All good suggestions, though I wouldn't recommend the bowling ball if she does not bowl.. because she might start and meet a guy named Jacques. But definately find something she will like.. most girls will tell you.. :) I'd problaly go with a stuff ... (read in full...)
We've been having unprotected sex and I may be pregnant!
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for about 3 months. We've been having sex w/o a condom. There was probably about 3 or more time when he didn't pull out. I haven't been feeling the same. My breasts are sore. I am very tired and I get ...
A. 14 November 2006: well.. if you read the signs of pregnancy, you have got a few there.. Having unprotected sex is a big sign... but after that the sore breasts, tiredness and light-headedness is what I've read about this issue. Though all of that could mean other ... (read in full...)
My long distance lover type guy won't let me come to his city!
Q. my not really a boyfriend more of a lover type guy is very sweet and attentive. it's a long distance relationship. he comes to see me on average every 5 weeks from late friday night to early sunday morning. we always have a great time (i know i do, ...
A. 14 November 2006: I have my doubts that he is telling the truth about his living conditions. To me there's a big gaping hole in what he is saying. He is saying that if you go up there that his family will wonder where he is at.... but where does his ffamily think ... (read in full...)
He texted Natalie...and I'm not Natalie!!!
Q. Short 1 here. Am i being too over paranoid? Or is it a stupid question ! My bf just sent me a message sayin - not 2night natalie, speak later my names not natalie!!!!!!!!...
A. 14 November 2006: well You can be pretty overly paranoid, but then again you can never know. I mean it seems like it could be a pretty innocent txt. She could have asked if he'd like to talk about something or maybe something about work? but well.. I would ask and ... (read in full...)
Had sex..no condom and he didn't orgasm. Can a girl still get pregnant?
Q. if a girl has sex, but she didnt use a condom and the lad didnt cum, could she get pregnant?...
A. 14 November 2006: Well... chances are that she could get pregnant.If he truly didn't cum then chances are less but then again he may have had pre-cum that could have some sperm in it or may have cummed a little without knowing or just say he didnt. If one truly does ... (read in full...)
Doggy Style sex is causing air in my vagina! What can I do about it?
Q. My bf and I enjoys doggy style position but i am having problems,air is entering my vagina and it is bothering me so much what would i do please......
A. 10 November 2006: honestly i could care less about doggy style though my gf does like it. but well. if it bothers you too much that you don't like that position like it's been said, use a different position.. maybe try spooning to see how that works for you.. but if ... (read in full...)
It brings me down to hear about my bf's past! How do I cope with this?
Q. Why is it that whenever my boyfriend and I are with his friends and they bring up someone he's had a past with my mood changes. It brings me down when I hear about them. Even if it doesn't have anything to do with when they were together. And ...
A. 10 November 2006: I think it's pretty normal and understandable that it bothers you especially considering they are talking about them in front of you which IMO is off-kiltered. Because all it is doing is making you feel hurt because you are going to try to compare ... (read in full...)
After cheating, is the love ever as good again..can you forget and does time heal?
Q. Just a simple question but i'd like to hear from people who've been cheated on and are still with their partner.... Is the love ever as good as it was and will you ever forget it (not bring it up)?? Does time make it easier?...
A. 10 November 2006: I could only tell you if that time comes.. Personally I have accepted it and realise people make mistakes.. but I still do have my trust issues with her at times. but it has been a little bit better than at first.. but as long as she stays honest ... (read in full...)
I'm worried I can't enjoy sex! I can't seem to feel anything...is this normal?
Q. Hi, I was wondering how long it should take before you start to feel good when having sex? I went to have sex with a girl she was on top for a good minute or two but I wasn't feeling a thing so she just gave me oral which was a lot better. Thin...
A. 10 November 2006: Yeah in my experience women on top has been a good position if i really wanted to last longer because of less feeling for me.. though i never had the case where i didn;t feel anything, but it could happen.. Try other positions and go from there.... (read in full...)
Is it illegal for a 17 year old male to have sex with a 15 year old female in Ireland?
Q. Is it illegal for a 17 year old male to have sex with a 15 year old female in Ireland? I read that it is at least I think so. A girl I know did this and lost her virginity this way and he basically just used her and treated her awfully. Can she do ...
A. 10 November 2006: The facts are always there and won't change.. 17 vs 15.. could be deemed illegal though it does depend on the way the law is written because sometimes they do offer leeway for that small of an age gap. The law isn't exactly written as a device for ... (read in full...)
My bf didn't want to get tested for herpes and I feel he was being selfish! Am I right?
Q. Hi, I'd like some advice on my current situation. It took my boyfriend six months to get tested for herpes 2, and I'm really confused on what is going to happen after we hear the results. This is what happened: basically a few months ago he found a ...
A. 10 November 2006: Lets be less hostile here. There are plenty of different solutions to this one problem. Yes it could mean the two of you shouldnt be together but then again you still might. The best and most likely explanation just boils down to miscommunication ... (read in full...)
Can she really be certain this early on that she is pregnant ?
Q. I stupidly had unprotected sex with my neighbour 7 days ago. And again 3 days ago. We are both single and at first I thought she was really nice. After the second time she told me she had missed her pill that morning. She has now been causing ...
A. 10 November 2006: Yeah something isn't right here.. though you can have early symptoms pretty early, like implantation bleeding but you have to look at more than just one symptom to determine how likely you are pregnant which is still a guess. You can't tell for ... (read in full...)
I am in love with my bf's best friend. Please advise.
Q. My boyfriend of 10 yrs best friend and me are in love, nothing physical aside from a kiss has happened. Been feeling this for 3 years now. Got busted emailing back and forth a couple of times...don't know what to do. To add to the turmoil we all ...
A. 10 November 2006: 10 years is a long time for a bf/gf relationship IMO. By that time, I would think a husband/wife relationship would have occurred unless the 2 of you never thought of making that committment or just didnt think it truly meant anything to get ... (read in full...)
I'm 17, he's 29.. we get along well, should I end it?
Q. As of late, around a month ago I began going out with this guy. Now everything is fine, we get along well, or as well as I've ever gotten on with anyone at the beginning of a relationship. We love each others company and being around each other is ...
A. 25 October 2006: If the age difference is you're only issue, like the previous post said it doesn't matter. As long as you love him and he loves you and it's merely not just for the sex then I don't see a reason to end it. Though you have mentioned you've already ... (read in full...)
I was wondering if agony aunts get paid?
Q. could you please tell me do agony aunts get paid or is it a service they provide for free,thank you....
A. 25 October 2006: To answer your question in the way I can answer it.. Yes we do get paid.. though you would never have enough money to pay us. We get paid with the feeling of being of assistance. And yes we are always hiring for more agony aunts. That's how I would ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my affair who only calls me when he wants something!
Q. I have been having an affair for the past year, and I fell in love with the man. He was most romantic and he made me feel beautiful. After a while he asked me to buy him a reel which he could not afford. I bought it for him, but told him that he ...
A. 25 October 2006: You should forget about him and find a single guy that will love you for who you are and not what you can give him. He obviously only coming to you when he doesn't have or cannot spend the money on things he wants. I would just let him go because no ... (read in full...)
I want to show my boyfriend affection without scaring him.
Q. I've been going out with my bf for a month now, but we've liked eachother for about 5 months. I really like him and he says he likes me, but i don't know. I really want to start physically showing my affection but i don't want to scare him. He's 17 ...
A. 25 October 2006: Pheww... just be lucky this is your only concern. :) But you shouldn't be afraid of showing him affection but always remember sex is not necessary to show your bf affection. Being afraid to show him affection may scare him off more than your showing ... (read in full...)
Why does he always pull out knowing I'm close!!!!
Q. The last few times that i've had sex with my bf,he always pulls out of me so that he doesn't cum inside, but the thing is he knows when im about to cum because i make a few noises, but always seems to put out just as im about to have an orgasm and ...
A. 25 October 2006: Before we label this lad a loser, there could be a variety of reasons for this and like a few of the posters mentioned.. you guys need to talk about it.. and problaly go on the pill or use condoms..
What may be happening is that him knowing ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend keeps telling me about a girl that wants to have sex with him and another with a crush on him...he's quite ugly so I don't see how they would!!!
Q. hi im 14 and going out with this 15 year old boy. we went out to the cinema the other day on out first date and he kept telling me stuff about other girls. he said that this girl on msn asked him to have sex with her. why did he tell me this? im...
A. 23 October 2006: actually what leah said.. though you can find girls acting the same way.. but I think he's just trying to illicit some sort of response out of you..or just trying to make himself look better.. it's a little game in his head he is playing.. ... (read in full...)
I went on the pill behind my boyfriends back now he feels I am hiding other things from him!
Q. I started going on the pill when I start having sex with my bf (last November). It was recommended by my doctor and she said I don't need to tell him about it (as many girls don't). From last November to recently, my bf used a condom. I always felt ...
A. 3 October 2006: Relationships are built on trust and you cant have trust if you continously lie about it. I'm sure what he was seeing is that you are on the pill and that you guys have been using condoms this whole time and he was problaly thinking that you are ... (read in full...)
Hes angry and feels that because I moved back home Im taking away his baby!!
Q. My boyfriend and I are going to have a baby. He and I live about 4 hrs apart. I moved in with him so we could be together and he had a good job. I missed my home and family too much so about a month after I left I came back home. He is mad ...
A. 3 October 2006: A lot of details may be missing from your post to really tell, but you also need to see maybe where he is coming from.. From what I do see, he does what to be with you and you leaving is saying that you'd rather be with your family rather than the ... (read in full...)
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