| Latest articles: How to give better advice..
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
6 November 2009: This is a follow-up to my article on "how to get good advice" located at http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-to-get-good-advice.html This time I am going to delve into the area on how to give good or better advice to those who are seeking it. ...
Playing with Statistics of Chance
No replies yet... 21 March 2009: After reading a lot of "What are my chances.." type questions, I figured I'd delve into the little aspect of statistics of chance. A guy named Aaron Levenstein once said, "Statistics are like bikinis. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they ...
How to get good advice?
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 February 2009: You ask for someone's advice and expect to get good advice back, what do you do? You tell them your story and expect to get a good response back. Do you always get it? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. There are a variety of steps you need to consider to ...
Do these boots make my butt look big and the lies we tell.
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
10 February 2009: LIES! All of us tell lies from time to time. Sometimes small innocent lies, sometimes big giant lies. Some lies save us from being yelled at by our partners and others make our partners scream at us. Why do we do it? Can we not just get by not ...
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She gave me an STD, now I don't know whether to stay or leave.
Q. I just recently found out that the (only) girl I've been seeing and having sex with for the past couple months gave me an std; doctor was called and said that I tested positive. Recently our condom broke so I'm guessing that's when it happened. I ...
A. 8 December 2008: I think you are making a good choice.. If she is guilt tripping you about it.. I would say you are better off walking away. I had an ex like that and she got an std and blamed me for cheating(I wasn't) and giving it to her. Low and behold, I get ... (read in full...)
My daughter is ill and I am afraid I will lose my new job if I take care of her! What do I do?
Q. There's a very strong possibilty my 11 yr old daughter is going to be too ill to go to school on monday, might have to take her to the docs, we have been up since 3am, i think she has this chest infection, temperature, fluey type thing going round. ...
A. 7 December 2008: I would personally talk to your boss about it. Maybe he can make an arrangement for you with this. Maybe allow you to bring your phone with you during this time. I would say be honest and up front with him. It's worse to have a lying employee.... (read in full...)
Do men really only want women with big breasts?
Q. Do men really only want women with big breasts - my breasts are no bigger than Kate Moss's - I'm naturally small, but worry men will be disappointed when I get undressed !...
A. 7 December 2008: As far as breasts go, I don't care much for them.. what I look for goes beyond just breasts to begin with, both sexually and mentally.. Breasts merely do nothing for *me* in bed, nor can I hold a conversation with them over dinner.... (read in full...)
Is Mountain Dew ACTUALLY killing my sperm count?!?
Q. Soo.. I've heard from alot of people that Mountain Dew may lower sperm count. I don't even know how the sperm count things works really. I been drinking Moutain Dew ever since it came out in production. I do want to be a father someday and I want to ...
A. 7 December 2008: Yellow #5 does *not* lower your sperm count. There has been no studies that prove that it does. It has been a myth that continues to keep going on without proof.. Much like the second gunman on the grassy knoll.
If you want to believe that.. h... (read in full...)
I don't want to try group sex, why doesn't he take no for an answer??
Q. My man of 1 year has recently found a sudden interest in trying group sex. He says we would not join another couple physically, but rather, have sex in the same room as another couple (very close friends). I asked him why, and he responded "it would ...
A. 7 December 2008: "Will you take us to the Amusement park?"
"NO!"
"Will you take us to the Amusement park?"
"NO!"
"Will you take us to the Amusement park?"
"NO!"
"Will you take us to the Amusement park?"
"NO!"
"Will you take us to the Amusement park?"
"NO!"
... (read in full...)
Was engaged, he backed out, got another girl pregnant and know he wants back...What do I do?
Q. Okay big question.....I love him I know I do that's not the question. We were engaged a year ago, He got Major cold feet, left, got another chick pregnant, now he wants back in. Says he made a huge mistake by leaving. Says that we are meant to be ...
A. 7 December 2008: Ask yourself this.. Suppose you take him back... What will happen if he leaves again? How will this affect your kids? Will it hurt more?
I don't think you should toy with your kids emotions. Bringing him back to only see him leave again can be p... (read in full...)
Will I regret losing my virginity to him?
Q. I'm a virgin, but I have been fingered by my ex-boyfriend before and used toys. Anyway, I'm going to stay with a friend next weekend (who I really like) but he lives quite far away.. I'd be really tempted to have sex with him, I think I'd find i...
A. 7 December 2008: Question answered fully in the first answer.. Way to steal my thunder.. I jest.
anyways, I will concur with DoubleM as well.. It is your choice.. Will you regret it? maybe.. Will you regret it the first time no matter who? maybe.. But I will sti... (read in full...)
Is it ok for me to be getting non-sexual affection from him if I WANT it?
Q. I am in a rather unconventional situation. I am at a comparatively young age [look upwards], and recently I have become kind of physical with a man who is around 50. Nothing sexual really, I have known him for a bit over a year, and a month ago ...
A. 7 December 2008: If you want affection, I'm single and free to give any attention you want.. ;)
But seriously, You need to step back a little. It's not necessarily wrong, but you need to realize that this "innocent" touching will lead to more "non-inn... (read in full...)
According to the Zodiac, I'm a sex-crazed being that is bad in relationships and I am thinking it's true.
Q. So this is for all those people who like zodiac signs and their meannings. Okay i'm a sag-cap this is because i was born on the cusp so i'm both signs. When you read about people born on this day, It says were great at work, and what ever we set our ...
A. 7 December 2008: You are what you think you are. If you believe what you read, then that is what subconsciensely going to lead yourself too. You have the decision and ability to lead yourself to where you want to go. Also, keep in mind that you are still young and ... (read in full...)
I feel my wife uses sex to control me, so frustrating!
Q. I've been married now for four years and we have two kids four and 1 year old. This is my second marriage. My wife and I argue often. Not in front of the kids though. When things are good they are great but we probably argue around 50% of th...
A. 7 December 2008: I think this question needs a guy's perspective since so far only three women have answered here. You say that being a mother is hard work, and of course I do not disagree with that. And yes the man should be there to help out.. BUT.. Here's the... (read in full...)
Is Mountain Dew ACTUALLY killing my sperm count?!?
Q. Soo.. I've heard from alot of people that Mountain Dew may lower sperm count. I don't even know how the sperm count things works really. I been drinking Moutain Dew ever since it came out in production. I do want to be a father someday and I want to ...
A. 7 December 2008: As far as the Yellow #5 situation goes.. it has to do with Mountain Dew containing Yellow #5 which normally propogates the MD causing low sperm count. As far as increasing your sperm count... I don't know.. If you want to become a father, find a ... (read in full...)
Is Mountain Dew ACTUALLY killing my sperm count?!?
Q. Soo.. I've heard from alot of people that Mountain Dew may lower sperm count. I don't even know how the sperm count things works really. I been drinking Moutain Dew ever since it came out in production. I do want to be a father someday and I want to ...
A. 7 December 2008: This goes back to the myth of Yellow #5, which is highly most likely FALSE. Although with all the additives and chemicals in our food, I'm not too sure if we are safe from any adverse side effects. BUT I'd say drink away and not worry so much. IF ... (read in full...)
She gave me an STD, now I don't know whether to stay or leave.
Q. I just recently found out that the (only) girl I've been seeing and having sex with for the past couple months gave me an std; doctor was called and said that I tested positive. Recently our condom broke so I'm guessing that's when it happened. I ...
A. 6 December 2008: If you love her, stay with her. It's not like she cheated on you and then infected you, which would make it a different story.
ON another note: Keep in mind that you can get STD's via oral sex as well.. I know a lot of people don't protect ... (read in full...)
She thinks I cheated on her... how can I explain?
Q. Me and my girlfriend went to a party together. Well turns out my ex was there and I think she was a bit drunk too. We just were catching up a littie when she tried to kiss me. I did what I could to stop her but then my girlfriend walked in the room. ...
A. 6 December 2008: Tip 1: Do not take girlfriend to party where your ex is..
Tip2: If you fail at tip 2... Never, ever talk to your ex-gf alone.
But as far as your situation goes..it's in the past.. You are in between a rock and a hard place. All you can do is ta... (read in full...)
DNA test results!
Q. Ok I'm trying to work things out with my boyfriend who cheated on me 3 years ago. There is a possibility he is the father of a little girl that is now two years old. My question is if a women asks a man what if I told you I was pregnant would you ...
A. 6 December 2008: My own personal opinion, I would say yes, chances are that she may have slept with another guy around the time of pregnancy. But that thought is running on the theory that she is trying to guilt him into not taking a DNA test prior to telling him. ... (read in full...)
Is he my toyboy?
Q. Hi everyone my question is this who come guys can date younger girls but girls cant date younger guys? I'm having this problem I'm 13 so's my bf but hes in the year below me I feel like we're falling in love we have loads in common and inseparable! ...
A. 5 December 2008: **Disclaimer** IF you love the person, age doesn't matter unless you are under 17 and the other person is over 18...;)
AS far as this case... Tell her to go stuff her piehole with sand. Actually, you don't have to tell her that, but I wouldn't... (read in full...)
I caught my sister's boyfriend cheating on her, what now?
Q. I saw my sister's boyfriend cheating on her (she's 14 and he's 17 and he's also is in my grade) at a party and I think he was drunk. I always had a bad vibe around him but I thought I being paranoid so I ignore it (plus my sis wouldn't’t have listen ...
A. 5 December 2008: Well, i'd say.. mmm I'd say you should inform her.. but be cautious on the way you approach it, because she might not believe you or she might accuse you of trying to break them up for yourself.. BUt I think she should know about it... or if you can ... (read in full...)
As soon as I put a condom on my erection is gone... what's up with that?
Q. Alright, so two things now. I know it's been awhile since i've checked in here, but.. I've been abit busy with my girlfriend. SO.. first thing's first, don't call me stupid for asking, but how likely is it that my girlfriend can get pregnant while ...
A. 5 December 2008: I am going to call you stupid for asking this... but then again I am not being serious..
Seriously, I don't believe odds are in favor of you impregnating your gf while she is on her period. It's primarily more likely 2 weeks or so after her peri... (read in full...)
Why doesn't he close his eyes?
Q. my boyfriend doesn't close his eyes when kissing what does it mean?...
A. 4 December 2008: Well that could be the case as well.. but if he seems like he is enjoying it, he probaly is... if you cant tell and really are concerned about it... talk to him about it... but don't do it in an accusing way.... (read in full...)
Should I show her father her facebook page so that he knows what she's doing?
Q. I'm asking for advice on my bf daughters, they are teenagers ( so difficult enough) and the youngest who is 15 goes out and gets drunk on a regular basis, her mum and her dad (my bf) think that she has stopped this and now i found some information ...
A. 4 December 2008: Well you are like stuck between a rock and a hard place... If you don't tell her parents and something happens then well you will feel guilt...but well... mmm
Here's what I am going to tell you to do.. I would sit down with the daughter and as a... (read in full...)
What can I do to fix this problem?
Q. I'm having extreme difficulty climaxing during sex; which i feel is for the most part related to habitual masturbation when i was younger, and rather frisky if i do say so myself. I've been really open with this to friends/family (I don't ...
A. 4 December 2008: The only advice to give you is to see a doctor about it. Beyond that, try different things or different positions.. Another thing to try is, not to think about it too much and just let it happen..
ON a personal level, I wish I had this problem.... (read in full...)
Should I let him come round for sex whenever he feels like it?
Q. i kicked my partner of many years out cause he has a drug habit, but he is taking it all in his stride and thinks it is holiday for him to get the best of both worlds. being out with his mates and just poppin to see me and the kids when he feels ...
A. 4 December 2008: I think you know what to do. He needs help. If he is unwilling to get help then you need to let him go.. It's not a healthy relationship if you let him to continue this way,... (read in full...)
Why doesn't he close his eyes?
Q. my boyfriend doesn't close his eyes when kissing what does it mean?...
A. 4 December 2008: He may just like to watch you while he kissing you.. I wouldn't read too much into it unless he is checking out other girls while kissing you.... (read in full...)
Why does she still keep in contact with him?
Q. My girlfriend cheated on me and I forgave her, but she still keeps in contact with him. What should I do?...
A. 4 December 2008: Personally, I do not see this ending well. But then again, that is based on previous experience. IMO, she made her bed and slept in it.. Being friends with her affair is not showing that she is over her affair.. IF she wanted it to be over, she'd ... (read in full...)
Respect, loyalty, kindness - a recipe for a life of loneliness?
Q. I'm caring, friendly, loyal and intelligent. I'm also told I have a good sense of humour and charisma. Unfortunately the major thing I lack is confidence. The last girl I was interested in, I spent a lot of time chatting and getting to know ...
A. 4 December 2008: If you are finding that the girls are running away from you because you are a nice guy, perhaps you are looking for the wrong type of girl.. That's one theory.
Another theory is that while young, the girls go for the bad boys to have fun with, bu... (read in full...)
Things have got bad with my girlfriend, and I'm beginning to have feelings for another girl! Advise, please!
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for 2 years and things have been ok but recentley things have got bad and its argument after argument. I have a good friend who is female and I have been going out with a lot recentley but I am begining to feel as ...
A. 4 December 2008: Be with the girl you want to be with. If you do not want to be with your current girlfriend, you need to let her down. She deserves to be free if that is what you want to be as well.. DO NOT DATE both at the same time. End your current relationship ... (read in full...)
I want to date him but I'm not sure how to proceed! Is he a rapist?
Q. I hooked-up with a guy when I was 20 but he had some sex issues. We messed around tons, but he couldn't get it up. I told my friend (who thought he was hot) and she had sex with him. She claimed that he basiclly raped her. I believed her but was ...
A. 4 December 2008: He either raped her or didn't.. There is no "he basically raped her." Did she consent to sex or not? Did she say stop at any point, but he continued? There is no really big grey area, that much depends on how it happenned.. But it depends... having ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is constantly being told by this girl in his class, very sexually oriented things, what can I do?
Q. my bf has a female friend at collage and she is wildly innapropriate. This is some of what she does: asked my bf what his tongue technique is like she details about how she gives head she always talks about how big her boobs are she tells him...
A. 27 November 2008: Well I don't think there is much for you to do.. She is free to say what she wants to say. Unfortunately, you are not free to sock her in the face for doing it. She's simply an attention seeker... I will just say.. just trust your boyfriend..
... (read in full...)
Is kissing considered cheating?
Q. Is kissing cheating? Just how bad is it to kiss (make out with) someone else when in a VERY serious relationship?...
A. 27 November 2008: If it was a makeout session, Yes it was cheating... A small peck well that can be excusable as not..
Now a drunken kiss, may be excusable to a point. Being drunk should not be used as an excuse.. You are in charge of how much you drink and the ... (read in full...)
He likes his sex rough! And it hurts me...help!
Q. I really love my boyfriend but when we have sex he is really rough... even though e trys to be gentle he ends up going really fast and i end up crying from all of the pain. He knows it hurts me but he cant seem to go slow because he slips out and ...
A. 27 November 2008: Have you tried any other positions where he can be gentle and yet not slip out?
But well, it should get better, but then he needs to accommodate you as much as you need to accommodate you. Sex should feel pleasureable for both parties, not just... (read in full...)
What do his texts mean? Is he flirting big time? He's married!
Q. So I have been texting this married man, who is 9 years older then me. I am 17, I will be 18 next October. I texted him because I needed advice. He told me what to do, tell the kid I like him as a friend. I told him that I told him that, and im in ...
A. 27 November 2008: May I ask why you are texting to a married man, and why is he texting you back? If you can answer the second part of that, you may find your answer..
... (read in full...)
What are the chances of breakage?
Q. What are the possibilities of the condom getting tore on the first time you have intercourse?...
A. 27 November 2008: About the same percentage as the 10th time... though more so if you do not know how to put it one in the first place.
But from reading it's fairly rare, if put on properly, though in the real world, nothing it perfect. If your nails puncture... (read in full...)
My birthday is close to Christmas.. My boyfriend wants to give me a combined two-fer gift....
Q. What if your boyfriend knew your birthday was coming for a couple of months, he knows how poorly you have been treated in the past on your birthday and because your birthday is close to Christmas he says he is going to give you a twofer, meaning ...
A. 27 November 2008: Here's my outlook on twofers.. I really see no problem in them at all for the most part, but it depends on the twofer gift in question.
A twofer gift can be advantageous for you if said twofer gift is the price and value of 2 gifts put together... (read in full...)
My husband bought a clunker.. it broke down, I fixed it.. now he is mad at me.
Q. My husband brought this really crappy car (which I have to fixed almost everyday) without asking me first (im not mad at him anymore) that keeps breaking down. We were on the way home the piece of junk died on us (what a surprise). I fixed in like ...
A. 27 November 2008: Sell the car.. ;)
But seriously, You are in a tough situation because you broke your husband's male ego.. If you want to fix the problem, apologize no matter how much you feel that you're not at fault..Create a problem in your house for him to f... (read in full...)
Who do I end up having sex with the guy who hurt me, do you think I let myself be used for sex? Could this be because I never got over my ex?
Q. Ok, this might be a little long sorry. When I was a freshmen in highschool I met this amazing guy, and i was pretty innocent when it came to physical stuff. Even though I was not a virgin i believed you needed to be dating someone almost a year ...
A. 27 November 2008: I would not be able to tell you what's wrong with you, But i can give you some advice. Don't worry about being alone.. You are still very young... and you have a lot of time ahead of you where you would be alone... Opening your legs for a guy with ... (read in full...)
His girlfriend has his baby, but he doesn't love her, Can there be a me and him in the future?
Q. hey everybody, just looking for some advice, 4 years ago i met a guy on a chat site whos the same age as me but lives in the uk.. (i live in ireland)... anyway we chatted as friends for nearly 2 whole years, got very close, but he made it clear from ...
A. 27 November 2008: Personally, I would be cautious. He is in a relationship with a girl and a kid. Why doesn't he love her now that she has his kid? I would be worried about that. I would worry that he might just have a knock them up and leave attitude. Do you think ... (read in full...)
How I'd love to BURY stereotypes...
Q. Man is the sex-driven provider. Woman is the money-sucking vixen. Man wants sex all the time. Woman wants shoes all the time. Man has to be tough and not cry. Woman has to be sexy if single, whiney if married. What is it with stereotypes? The...
A. 11 July 2008: You forgot one.. When married, men are dumb, imbeciles who need someone to put their pants on in the morning.
But stereotypes can be bad. But it's bad that some people out there let these stereotypes continue. Like the girls who actually do date ... (read in full...)
Is it normal that I'm only attracted to older men?
Q. I'm a 14 year old girl and I'm only attracted to older men... like 35-65. I have never been attracted to anyone my age. Is this normal? If not what's wrong with me? ...
A. 11 July 2008: Geez I'm 5 years too young.. I'm just kidding here.. But you should be careful and not act on any of your attractions towards these older men. You will have nothing in common with them and all they will be looking for is sex. They won't care for ... (read in full...)
I won't have an opportunity to lose my virginity until I'm 18, what do I do?
Q. Hi, im 15 turning 16 this year and my mom got a job in Bamfield and there is nobody under the age 25. I come back to my home town for 1 week of the month. Ill be 18 when i come back permenantly. Im dont want to be 19 and a virgin. I dont want to ...
A. 11 July 2008: What's so bad to have your virginity after 18? Why rush it? Don't rush it because it is the cool thing to do.. It's not cracked up to be.. ... (read in full...)
We had sex, then he got mad at me and I don't know why!
Q. I'll make this short and simple. I met a guy recently. I fell for him straight away. He had gorgeous eyes, and an amazing personality. After we met, we constantly called eachother and always wanted to see eachother. Well, that was all be...
A. 11 July 2008: I agree with lotus here.. He is most likely just using you for sex.. and I'm guessing he is doing someone else at the same time which would explain one reason why he would get upset if the "world" knows you two had sex the other night.... (read in full...)
Can you get pregnant the first time you have sex?
Q. can females get pregnant when they have sex for the first time? ...
A. 11 July 2008: Yes.. and you can get pregnant before you even have sexual intercourse if you get any sperm near your vagina aka getting guy off... sperm gets on fingers... fingers go in vagina. It's better to just go all the way and actually just do the whole ... (read in full...)
She might be pregnant what shall I do?
Q. There is a rumor going around school about my gf dumping me no one knows why but we think shes pregnant (we being me and my gf) I really love her and was gonna propose I already got the ring it was $1,487 which was all I could afford. I was ...
A. 13 June 2008: Well you need to find out if she is actually pregnant. Marriage can wait and honestly if you really wanted to marry her, you could do without the ring.. The baby will require more than that.. But i wish you the best.... (read in full...)
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