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female
,
anonymous
writes: HiI have been seeing a married man I met at my old work now for three months now and have grown very attached. His relationship with his wife is over although they are still together for the sake of their 11 year old son. Trouble is I went on a work's night out and let a colleague spend the night (male). He tried it on with me and I told him where to go, and telling him to get out. He wouldn't budge, so I went and slept on he couch. Trouble is, I didn't tell the man am seeing till the morning when he phoned me. He ws furious because I didn't let him know the night before and didn't ask him to come chuck my colleague out.We had a massive argument and now he's thinking that I did something with the guy bacause I didn't get him to chuck him out and he was sleeping in my bed.I've tried reasuring him that I wouldn't, as I feel too strong for him, but he still can't get the thought of it out of his headPlease help me regain his trust.
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (2 April 2006):
 Haha. Another sucker.
We are still together *for the sake of our child* yes, right!
Ok, you are worried because he is cross about somebody staying over at your house.....this guy goes home to his wife and child every night! You think this is acceptable behaviour? To have a go at you for having a life?
If you were married to him, yes he has the right to *have a go*, but hey, you are not! His wife is!!
You are ruining a marriage, but whilst it takes two to tango, you are a sucker for believing his talk.
Get out and let that family move on in peace.
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (2 April 2006):
 Cheaters think others cheat. That is is because they think everybody is at their low moral level. You are a cheater. Your man is a cheater. The guy who was at your place wanted sex. You let him in. What do you think he wanted? A game of chess? Where is your head at? First, you're a home wrecker. So you have a "relationship" with a married man. But you let another sleep over, in your bed. How did that happen? Of course your " boyfriend" is angry. Who wouldn't be. Remember where his head is at. Where the heck is your head at?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2006): What is wrong with you. You owe this man nothing. He is MARRIED with a child.Come on this is wrong what you are both doing. You do know he will not leave his wife for you. It is just going to be about sex and nothing else with this controlling person. Don't let him ruin your life as he has done to his wife and child. You do not truly know what is really going on in his household but he sure has a stronghold on YOU. Why are we women so naive? Why do we let men take full control of our destiny. Please move on with your life.It should not matter who YOU have in your home. Your single aren't you and available but he is not. you are certainly letting him have his cake and eat it too. Please do not be a mug no longer take control of your own life.
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A
male
reader, juttandmeff +, writes (2 April 2006):
It's not very equal, your relationship, is it? He still lives and sleeps with his wife, but complains when you choose to have someone stay over, whether anything happened or not. There's nothing like having your cake and eating it, is there?
I'd be prepared to put money on him still sleeping with his wife, whatever he tells you. And I'd put money on the current situation not changing for years and years - how old does his son have to be before he goes? 14? 16? 18? 21? How long are you prepared to wait on the sidelines, the secret girlfriend waiting in vain for him to make the big break?
With the matter in hand, I'd simply tell him that you are an adult, and that you can handle the situation just fine without falling back on him to rescue you. You accept his current relationship with his wife on trust, and so you expect some trust in return. If he can't accept that, then why do you bother? I'd suggest that what is of more concern is your apparent willingness to accept such controlling behaviour, not just from your out of control houseguest, but from your boyfriend. I'm sure you're worth more than that. Whatever you decide, I wish you the best, and hope it works out, but please, think about it.
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A
male
reader, tux  +, writes (2 April 2006):
 May I ask why are they still together just because of their kid? I believe that does a big disservice for the kid because it's going to show him that marriages are loveless.. I would be careful and you may want to rethink being in this relationship. I mean, what would happen if you got pregnant with his kid? what good is that?
On a side note, who told you that his marriage was basically over? Him or him and his wife? When it comes to this, I wouldnt take it from a man trying to find some on the side on this issue. how much trust can you place on that?
But well, staying married for the kids sake is not a good reason.
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