Can a woman have sex with her husband and lover without giving anything away?
Q. I'm a guy of 54 years and was happily married for 19 years,there have been no Kids,which is the choice of my 44 year old wife (and mine).About six weeks ago I noticed my wife taking the odd call late at night and walking out of ear shot from me,this ...
A. 16 October 2009: Tom with all the best intentions I think your wife has crapped the marriage terribly.
I had thought for certain she'd have stayed with GG and made him crazy till he'd thrown her out. Now she's living in a trailer (yes a caravan but here we call ... (read in full...)
Can a woman have sex with her husband and lover without giving anything away?
Q. I'm a guy of 54 years and was happily married for 19 years,there have been no Kids,which is the choice of my 44 year old wife (and mine).About six weeks ago I noticed my wife taking the odd call late at night and walking out of ear shot from me,this ...
A. 22 September 2009: Tom, sadly you have the blessings of wealth; the blessings of good physical health; and unfortunately the curse of a woman who cannot love you and you alone.
The good news is that you will find someone better than her. You have everything in you t... (read in full...)
Can a woman have sex with her husband and lover without giving anything away?
Q. I'm a guy of 54 years and was happily married for 19 years,there have been no Kids,which is the choice of my 44 year old wife (and mine).About six weeks ago I noticed my wife taking the odd call late at night and walking out of ear shot from me,this ...
A. 9 September 2009: Tom,
I think its very hard for your wife to ever explain what went wrong in your marriage. Maybe nothing went wrong and she snapped and fell for an affair merely out of personal boredom.
I know that when women hit menopause or have their own m... (read in full...)
Can a woman have sex with her husband and lover without giving anything away?
Q. I'm a guy of 54 years and was happily married for 19 years,there have been no Kids,which is the choice of my 44 year old wife (and mine).About six weeks ago I noticed my wife taking the odd call late at night and walking out of ear shot from me,this ...
A. 8 September 2009: Tom,
You needn't worry. Let your lawyers handle it. I'm sure whenever she attempts to return to an empty home with new locks on the doors, she'll get the message.
... (read in full...)
Should I cut my hair if my friends disagree?
Q. My friends say I shouldn't cut my hair but i think I should what should I do?...
A. 6 September 2009: There's two schools of thought on this one: Go short and bob it, or stay long and get it sexy.
Seriously, its your hair. Just remember if you cut it you have to wait for it to grow back, unless you like wigs.... (read in full...)
Should I continue to hope for a future for us?
Q. My ex and I broke up alittle over a month ago. I miss him alot and I still love him and he tells me the same. He says he wants to get back together...but things got to change between us first..I have to accept his friends..which I now do. And I have ...
A. 6 September 2009: I know how very hard it is for you emotionally.
Love involves a great deal of patience and attention, unfortunately they don't always intersect at the same points in a relationship.
He is having problems dealing with your insecurities and... (read in full...)
Is it bad that I crave my boyfriend's attention a lot?
Q. I'm not sure why but I crave my boyfriends attention a lot. I want him to talk to me when I want him to. Console me when I need him and just be there more me when I need him to be. Which he isn't sometimes. Today I spend time with him and we ...
A. 6 September 2009: He's looking at you thinking, "Gee we just had a nice day and she's getting all clingy and whiney!"
Here's a suggestion. There is no question that if you do love someone or you're maybe falling in love with him, you are going to crave his attentio... (read in full...)
How do I move on from my girlfriend? And how can I socialise without it affecting my studies?
Q. Hey, I am feeling pretty down today. Basically me and my girlfriend of 2 years nearly broke up 1 month ago. Since then we have remained friends, seeing each other every 2 days at leasat (she lives 200 M from me..) Anyway, she still loves me but...
A. 6 September 2009: This is the best advice. I think if you want to have a better life, stop focusing on how sociable your girlfriend is. You want to focus on your mindset.
Somewhere, and I don't want to give you any false hope here, she is thinking of you. What you... (read in full...)
Am I falling in love with him?
Q. Hey guys. Omg, Im going crazy over this guy. ive been talkin to him for a little over a yr now. i think about him all the time. i go to bed thinkin of him and wake up thinkin of him.the only place i ever wanna be is with him. when im with him, im ...
A. 6 September 2009: I'd say you are falling if not already fallen in love. The question is does he feel the same way about you?
Good luck and I hope it works out between the two of you.... (read in full...)
Wife only turned on for sex after a blazing row!
Q. My wife and I are both well into middle age, but I still enjoy sex - I'm up for it far more often than my wife. I have noticed something strange though: the only time my wife is turned on is after a blazing row. She finally admitted that arguing ...
A. 5 September 2009: Some women love the making up part. So pick fights over silly things (not the really serious ones) and get her emotions all tussled. Then, when she's seriously aroused and in heat, have fun.
I'm afraid that is a personality trait.
... (read in full...)
Can a woman have sex with her husband and lover without giving anything away?
Q. I'm a guy of 54 years and was happily married for 19 years,there have been no Kids,which is the choice of my 44 year old wife (and mine).About six weeks ago I noticed my wife taking the odd call late at night and walking out of ear shot from me,this ...
A. 5 September 2009: Women have their secret lives. Some of it may involve infidelities, and some may involve emotional infidelities.
She may secretly fantasize about the guy at the gym, come home and give you great sex. She may also be getting great sex from both of ... (read in full...)
Should I let it go because he strikes me as emotionally unavailable like my ex husband?
Q. I was married for 18 years to a man who was emotionally unavailable. I don't think he was even capable of any depth of feeling or love. I have been divorced for four years now, and it has been lonely. I met a man four weeks ago who I thought ...
A. 5 September 2009: I feel for you on this one.
The best suggestion here is to talk to him outright and find out why he appears to be gaining distance instead of gaining physical intimacy.
I hate to say it, but personally when there's woman in my life and I am in... (read in full...)
What should I do? My relationship is plagued by my love for my old bestfriend!
Q. Hi i don't really know how to start this but ill start here. I used to have this really good friend (best friend) who was a girl. We used to hangout all the time and each time would be amazing. I often thought of it as love at the time. Well one day ...
A. 5 September 2009: It seems like you are being torn apart by two women. One who wants to be more for you than just a best friend, and the other that wants to be more than just a girlfriend.
One wants you to be intimate with her, and the other wants you to be her c... (read in full...)
I hate my life, I've ruined it!
Q. here goes i hate my life ! why ? well because im a complete and utter idiot ! 6 years ago i made the mistake of leaving my ex fiance. he was a nice person but didnt really show me any love or affection and i found he let me pay for stuff rather ...
A. 4 September 2009: I feel every fragment of your pain here. You had a wonderful thing going and gave it up for a loser. But please don't hate your life. Its not your life that did this to you, it was a bad choice that had consequences and left you confused, riddle... (read in full...)
What are my ex's intentions?
Q. We dated for 7 yrs and broke up 9 months ago. He did it w/o an explanation. He called for the first time after 6 mos then again after 8 mos.. the 2nd time he called he asked if we could meet up. I dodged the question .. so he called again a week ...
A. 4 September 2009: I think he has gone out there trying to rediscover himself. I also feels the tendrils of your heart tugging at his. In a way, it may seem a bit weird, but he's halfway between wanting to get back with you, or looking for you to mother him. I... (read in full...)
IF he loves me so much would he still want flirty texts from another woman?
Q. Re update on text cheating husband. Thanks for all the constructive comments but nobody answered the actual question I posed..... If my husband loved me as much as I'm sure he did (and still does) and was so full of regret, do you think it is ...
A. 4 September 2009: I have to say I have a great deal of empathy for you. I have seen your posts several times and I feel that you are agonizing over this incident in the past.
If your husband has regretted hurting you, and cheating on you and your sex life appears ... (read in full...)
How can I stop picking fights and holding grudges against him?
Q. this is a very long story n i dont mean to bore anyone so i guess the shortest way of saying it is this: i met a guy 4 years ago, he was a friend from the beginning and the more we hung out the more friends we became, but for some reason i felt th...
A. 4 September 2009: You're hurting him. Please stop doing that! It seems like you want him, then you don't. You want him as a friend, you secretly date him; and when he talks to other girls, you get jealous and pick fights with him! Why are you so ashamed of him?... (read in full...)
Why do we have to watch porn every single night?
Q. Unique porn problem ~ married very sexually active and outgoing have or will try anything at least once. My husband has always liked porn when we were younger it bothered me but, I have 5brothers and I know what boys do :) - but, now the porn is ...
A. 4 September 2009: First off I want to say your husband is extremely fortunate. From everything I have read, you love him so very much and that's truly a gift that he has there right in front of him. You seem to be very forgiving and very understanding and to that ... (read in full...)
Should I be greatful that she cut ties with me?
Q. I am 35 year old married man with kids. I had a really close friendship with a woman with whom I worked for about 5 years and she recently left the company. Our relationship was very intense in that it even got to the point in the last 6 months ...
A. 4 September 2009: I think she is fearful of getting into what would have progressed into an extra-marital affair with you. She has probably decided to move on. The sad part is you miss the friendship that you had. Its very hard to explain this, but sometimes t... (read in full...)
I feel used all the time, how can I fix this?
Q. I am dating a man whom i love. He says he feels the same way for me. We have been dating for 3 months now. He at first acted like i was the only woman on earth for him. He treated me so nice, and all that. Now as i know him, his true colors are ...
A. 4 September 2009: It sounds to me like he is extremely insecure, he is possessive, and he's abusive towards you. This is a problem that can't be solved by you. Its basically his problem and he has to get help for himself. The problem with someone like that i... (read in full...)
Parent's marriage on the rocks and its breaking my heart!
Q. I have growing concerns over my family. My parents are going through a rough patch in their marriage. The problems seem to be mostly financial. We're encountering some money problems and their taking their toll, particularly on my mother. Mum is ...
A. 4 September 2009: I am so sorry for what is happening to you. It seems now that its all come down on your heads at once.
Maybe I could offer a suggestion to you. If you are all living together at home, and all working together; then I think this is the time to ... (read in full...)
Slip sliding away...
Q. i keep slipping out during sex or when g/f is on top she carnt really move up and down as out he pops despite her being tight.when we start im ok pushing into her but when i pull back thats when the problem starts I have just over 5 inches and my ...
A. 4 September 2009: I agree with sexlessintheUK's remarks. Someone asked a similar question about this and other things before. Here is the answer I gave: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-can-i-pleasure-her.html Love making is more than just organ grind... (read in full...)
Where can I find Mormon girls willing to have sex before marriage?
Q. Ok, so I'm a 24 year old Mormon guy. I'm not the best Mormon guy, but I do want to get married in the Mormon Temple. It is what it is. I started having sex when I was 20, and I have been with a number of girls that are Mormon as well, and I have ...
A. 4 September 2009: I agree with q1605.
I have spent a great deal of time out in Nevada and the LDS maintains enclaves there and in other regions of the Southwest.
Most god-fearing Mormon girls are likely to be repulsed by a male who wants to have pre-marital... (read in full...)
Married & bored, wife will only do 2 things!
Q. im married. and my sex life is boring. am and my wife are young(under 25). and she doesnt want to try new things. i told her its boring time and time again. i say lets go to the sex store and look for something new. hey turn this was lets try this ...
A. 4 September 2009: I think what you want to do is ask your wife whether or not she enjoys sex, and if so besides 2 positions, is there anything she is willing to try.
The problem is that some people view sex differently than others. In any marriage or relation... (read in full...)
How can I show my daughter that her fiance is an ass?
Q. My daughter is 23 and has been dating "Jason" 25, since high school.I always looked at him as a good kid,a little inmature but figured he would grow up to be a respectful guy. Three weeks ago my daughter came home in tears saying that she she found ...
A. 4 September 2009: No one can tell you "the right way" to handle an adult child under these circumstances because your daughter is going to be quite different than most.
Under these circumstances I can't help but be blunt. She's a fool.
Any woman who can look pas... (read in full...)
I want her back in my life. Its so sad to throw it away
Q. i need help. i have been married for 9 months now and my wife left me last week. we have been arguing for months about silly matters and managed to resolve them but recently things started to get worse. the past 4 weeks we have had breaks, slept at ...
A. 4 September 2009: First of all you have to determine for your self whether you want to spend the rest of your life with your wife. This means looking at her from the perspective of whether she was ever compatible with you to begin with.
But that isn't the only thi... (read in full...)
Parent's marriage on the rocks and its breaking my heart!
Q. I have growing concerns over my family. My parents are going through a rough patch in their marriage. The problems seem to be mostly financial. We're encountering some money problems and their taking their toll, particularly on my mother. Mum is ...
A. 4 September 2009: There is very little you can do to patch up your parents' marriage other than talk to them.
In the end they have to figure out what it is that's making them unhappy.
The money issues don't help. That's an added pressure and those added pres... (read in full...)
Why do we have to watch porn every single night?
Q. Unique porn problem ~ married very sexually active and outgoing have or will try anything at least once. My husband has always liked porn when we were younger it bothered me but, I have 5brothers and I know what boys do :) - but, now the porn is ...
A. 4 September 2009: I agree with what you're saying. The flip side is, he has to pay more attention to you as his wife, a real woman in his arms. Not some bimbo acting in a porno flick. You're right. He would feel inferior of you were watching some guy who's built like ... (read in full...)
How can I be confident again and make my dreams come true?
Q. Over the past few weeks I have been feeling really emotional due to the fact that I feel worthless and as though I have nothing in life. I am coming up 19 years old and have nothing to show for it. I went to college for two years but now I have ...
A. 4 September 2009: You have a lot more to live for than what you see in front of you right now.
First of all you do have a future. That's very important. You have an entire life ahead of you.
Please don't feel dispirited. Many of us here have or are all going th... (read in full...)
Why do we have to watch porn every single night?
Q. Unique porn problem ~ married very sexually active and outgoing have or will try anything at least once. My husband has always liked porn when we were younger it bothered me but, I have 5brothers and I know what boys do :) - but, now the porn is ...
A. 4 September 2009: This is one of those rare moments where I think you need to work on adjusting his behavioral patterns.
Here's what I see. You don't mind the porn on once in awhile. Its exciting. But from what you're saying, its gotten boring now.
What I would ... (read in full...)
How can I take control of this "out of control" situation?
Q. I feel like my marriage is really in trouble and we have only been married a year. We married later in life and he has grown children from a previous marriage. They are his top priority. He makes sure their needs are met even though they are all ...
A. 3 September 2009: You need to have a serious talk with him. If anything, his kids should be there fixing your house up not the other way around.
The other thing is, the grand kids have to figure that you are not a slave, but the woman their grandfather has decided ... (read in full...)
21 year old female suffering from depression
Q. I suffer from depression and sometimes have episodes where i get violent with others and i even hurt myself sometimes. I am a very emotionally weak person and the people around me try to help but I do things to keep them away. Even if it takes for ...
A. 3 September 2009: I am so sorry about your depression. It is an issue that so many people suffer with today. Its one of the most common illnesses.
Have you tried different anti-depressants? I know it sounds like an obvious question but usually after a few trials, ... (read in full...)
I cannot cope with the guilt I feel of my mother dying
Q. My mother has just died of lung cancer and I cannot get over the feeling of guilt. I'm absoltely devastated - I loved her so much and she was far too young to die. She has been in pain for many months and has seen the doctor upteen times. Th...
A. 3 September 2009: You should not torture yourself with this. Inasmuch as you wanted to be there for her, you had no way of knowing for certain that this is what would be.
Let me give you a frank opinion as I have lost both my parents, friends, a sibling, and so m... (read in full...)
Why do I want sex so much?
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for about 8 months, and our relationship was great up until recently. I've become atached to her, I want her to be around all the time, and I'm always wanting sex. I can't seem to look at her and not think about sex. Its ...
A. 3 September 2009: Well you're still young. Try not to burn it all out fast.
Seriously at your age I was so pre-occupied with sex, it was frustrating. I couldn't drive a car, go to the beach or ride a bus without someone noticing it.
Baggy pants were in. Really ... (read in full...)
He says he has women on the side just in case I cheat on him so he wont look like a fool!
Q. My boyfriend and - of 6 yrs. Have our ups and downs. He has cheating on my once in the past about 2 and a half yrs ago. we grew up together. High school sweethearts so technically I have been dealing with him 6 or about 10 yrs. He got me a ring he ...
A. 3 September 2009: Sounds like you're engaged to a scumbag. Really why are you with him?
He treats you like dirt. He's kicked you to the curb and he's still using you.
He's definitely not marriage material and he sounds like a pimp.... (read in full...)
My loneliness drives me into bad relationships
Q. Friends are great but when I'm single I get lonely and end up in bad relationships. Seems to be pretty consistent so far. My dating isn't great. I have a good time but nothing ever develops. Either I'm not interested or she isn't. Now I've...
A. 3 September 2009: People are driven to relationships for a number of reasons.
I think what you really want to do is focus on finding the right person for you, rather than just taking whatever it is that gets handed to you.
I can't think of anything worse t... (read in full...)
Help!!! He wants to take my virginity at 13!!!
Q. hi my name is kylie, i have a boyfriend and i dont think he loves me. all he really wants to do is take my virgintiy away from me, and it scares me. PLEASE help me im scared!...
A. 3 September 2009: You're too young to go out and have sex. Tell him to go away. Let your parents know about this.
As a side note, you should not lose your virginity to just anyone. Truth be told, the last thing you want to do is lose it to someone who has no inter... (read in full...)
Together for 6 years and replaced in 2 weeks... will he ever come back?
Q. Recently my boyfriend of 6 years left me. We lived together for most of that time and spent every hour of the day together apart from when we were at work. He said he didnt love me anymore and moved out. With tears in his eyes he asked me not to ...
A. 3 September 2009: I am so sorry for your grief. He is confused about where the relationship is going. He moved out to get some space. Perhaps he fears he is being smothered. Who knows.
What will be hardest of all is that you are hurting over this and it has gott... (read in full...)
Problems with my son since my husband passed away. Please help.
Q. Our eldest son is 15 and has gotten in the habit of borrowing my records without permission (it seems he likes Sixties music). While he was at school yesterday, I was looking for another album. I found two others in his room, so I started ...
A. 3 September 2009: I really feel for you and your son with the loss you both suffered. It can be hard for kids to go through that loss.
At age 15 he is at the point in his life called puberty. His interest in a Playboy bunny is simply something that he's fascinat... (read in full...)
How can I pleasure her?
Q. this girl i've been with said that she always fakes her moaning during sex, because she's very hard to please and has never reached orgasum through sex or through oral sex... is this normal, how can I 'pleasure her' ...
A. 3 September 2009: Some women only achieve orgasm through masturbation. Its just a problem that has to be worked on. One way to do this is to observe, take mental notes and have her tell you what it is exactly that she enjoys without the fake drama.
If you take the... (read in full...)
If he doesn't want to admit he has cheated, does this mean he can't or won't change?
Q. I have been with my husband for 8 1/2 yrs now, married for nearly 5 and have 2 beautiful children together. My problem is over 2 yrs ago my husband started an affair which lasted for several months. During this time he never admitted that he had the ...
A. 3 September 2009: Its hard to accurately gauge the dynamic with kids involved. Parents want to keep a stable home environment going, and so there's going to be an incentive for him to stay in the marriage and finish raising the kids.
I think you are correct ... (read in full...)
What in the world should I do? My hubby suggested separation. Should I just give up?
Q. I am having a difficult time with my husband of 15 years. We've been together for 18 years, and are best friends. The last year, however, he has been going through what he calls "changes"; We have four children together, and recently, he said he ...
A. 2 September 2009: I know this sounds funky. But maybe you and he ought to go ride the Harley on the weekend, together, and stop somewhere and spend the weekend together. Its a roadtrip.
Maybe that's what he wants. Freedom. Only you could join him and try your bes... (read in full...)
The psychiatrist recommeded meds, but my mom's against it
Q. i saw this psychyatrist because i was flunking out of grade 10 and my parents wanted to know what is wrong with me. bnasically im just depressed all the time and she wanted me to put me on meds but i said no and now months later im not any better. ...
A. 2 September 2009: You can talk to school counselors if you think you're suffering from clinical depression.
Its not unheard of. Its actually one of the most common problems in today's society.
For some people, meds work fine and there's no issues. Sometime... (read in full...)
I feel like I've ruined his life. Please help -- I need a friend!
Q. Hi there, i feel so lonely, i have no friends, i feel this is the only place i can turn to. i love my boyfriend so much it hurts! literlly! every time i even think about the lyrics in a love song i get teary eyed. any way we're having lots of ...
A. 2 September 2009: First of all both of you have some issues. The poverty has magnified and amplified them to the point where you are attacking each other, and at the same time attacking yourselves.
This is the painful part of a relationship. There will be some fig... (read in full...)
Its been a year since we broke up, but I still cant get over how badly he treated me
Q. I feel kind of stupid still talking about this situation as it has been a year since our break up. I was with this man who hurt me really bad emotionally. He lied and humiliated me. I really loved this man. Anyway fast foward I am living my life but ...
A. 2 September 2009: It seems to me that if he doesn't care now, then he never cared. You had more emotions invested in the relationship than he did.
The best thing you can do is forget about him. People who do things like this are users. And you feel bad because ... (read in full...)
What in the world should I do? My hubby suggested separation. Should I just give up?
Q. I am having a difficult time with my husband of 15 years. We've been together for 18 years, and are best friends. The last year, however, he has been going through what he calls "changes"; We have four children together, and recently, he said he ...
A. 2 September 2009: It seems to me he's under some sort of inordinate stress. You say he's studying for exams and such. You have 4 children together.
There's obviously a lot of pressure on him, and you. This is making things difficult for both of you.
Him mov... (read in full...)
If he doesn't want to admit he has cheated, does this mean he can't or won't change?
Q. I have been with my husband for 8 1/2 yrs now, married for nearly 5 and have 2 beautiful children together. My problem is over 2 yrs ago my husband started an affair which lasted for several months. During this time he never admitted that he had the ...
A. 2 September 2009: He may never want to admit to his philandering. It may have been a one-time thing, and something that he personally regrets.
Perhaps he knows you well enough that if he did admit to it, you would never let him forget it and thereby fail to put i... (read in full...)
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