She's just not that into me and should I forget it!!!
Q. Hi :) I've been seeing the lady for 5 months now. She is 41, 2 kids separated for 3 years and her life is upside down - no job, bankrupt and mentally exhausted but an amazing women. She is trying to get out of it and probably will but who knows. I...
A. 18 February 2010: Kaarde,
I have to say she's just using you. I don't think I could tolerate someone rotating in and out of my life like this. I don't see why you're letting her do this to you.
I've been through this with a woman I love deeply and all she has ... (read in full...)
She's just not that into me and should I forget it!!!
Q. Hi :) I've been seeing the lady for 5 months now. She is 41, 2 kids separated for 3 years and her life is upside down - no job, bankrupt and mentally exhausted but an amazing women. She is trying to get out of it and probably will but who knows. I...
A. 6 December 2009: Duce00 has a point to well a small point.
If you can tolerate her rotating in and out of your life, and waiting in the bull pen for your time at the bat, then I suppose that's okay.
But if I suspect you are more into monogamous relationships, t... (read in full...)
She's just not that into me and should I forget it!!!
Q. Hi :) I've been seeing the lady for 5 months now. She is 41, 2 kids separated for 3 years and her life is upside down - no job, bankrupt and mentally exhausted but an amazing women. She is trying to get out of it and probably will but who knows. I...
A. 3 December 2009: q1605 has a point there. Its possible she's got someone else dangling on a string, or maybe several men.
If you're in one day and out the other, it comes to mind first of all she doesn't really love you. More importantly though, for your own sani... (read in full...)
She's just not that into me and should I forget it!!!
Q. Hi :) I've been seeing the lady for 5 months now. She is 41, 2 kids separated for 3 years and her life is upside down - no job, bankrupt and mentally exhausted but an amazing women. She is trying to get out of it and probably will but who knows. I...
A. 29 November 2009: Wow! She sounds like she's running some kind of time table.
She doesn't know what she wants, and it may be a long time before she figures it out.
Your decision to walk and cut her loose is probably the best.
After a few more times of her ru... (read in full...)
She's just not that into me and should I forget it!!!
Q. Hi :) I've been seeing the lady for 5 months now. She is 41, 2 kids separated for 3 years and her life is upside down - no job, bankrupt and mentally exhausted but an amazing women. She is trying to get out of it and probably will but who knows. I...
A. 21 November 2009: The only thing that concerns me is that she's still visiting the online dating site.
That's creepy. If she's got you then what? Is she looking for more options?
Would she feel all comfy if you were on the same online dating site hitting on ... (read in full...)
She's just not that into me and should I forget it!!!
Q. Hi :) I've been seeing the lady for 5 months now. She is 41, 2 kids separated for 3 years and her life is upside down - no job, bankrupt and mentally exhausted but an amazing women. She is trying to get out of it and probably will but who knows. I...
A. 18 November 2009: Its one of those things. Maybe she saw what she was losing? Maybe she didn't know what she had?
It could also be she's cake-eating. That is dangling you on the end of a string while going out and having the time of her life.
In either event my ... (read in full...)
I've let my insecurities get the better of me and just stuff everything up...
Q. I don't know what to do.. i feel as though my relationship, more myself has gone off track by a mile. I have been with my boyfriend for over 3 years and am 19 and in the past year have become overly obsessive and insecure. i really don't kno...
A. 7 November 2009: Sadly it appears you have not been able to reconcile with him.
Its very hard to find true love in this world. As time marches on, if your now ex-boyfriend doesn't see the bigger picture, he will forever be wandering about looking for somethin... (read in full...)
I've let my insecurities get the better of me and just stuff everything up...
Q. I don't know what to do.. i feel as though my relationship, more myself has gone off track by a mile. I have been with my boyfriend for over 3 years and am 19 and in the past year have become overly obsessive and insecure. i really don't kno...
A. 28 October 2009: I can see what you're saying there. I am so sorry that he was mean to you. I've been hurt by many women in the past, and I don't recall ever calling any of them a "bitch, whore or slut".
I think maybe he's still a bit immature, and so it takes ti... (read in full...)
Why can't my heart understand what my head does?
Q. I cant get over this HELP! My bf starting seeing someone else when my mother was dying and I was out of town. I know I should not want to be with him and in my head I can see that he was using me and wasnt kind. But I miss the playfulness and sense ...
A. 11 October 2009: Just cut contact with him. If he persists, tell him you need to be left alone now.
Frankly you need to take time out, wait as you said, and when the time is right find someone who's normal and has all the character traits that show you he's wor... (read in full...)
Why can't my heart understand what my head does?
Q. I cant get over this HELP! My bf starting seeing someone else when my mother was dying and I was out of town. I know I should not want to be with him and in my head I can see that he was using me and wasnt kind. But I miss the playfulness and sense ...
A. 10 October 2009: What you just said sums it up:
"[B]ut now I see how he lies and is not a good father to his children and deals drugs AND why is this woman living there? Is she just a maid? I know they have sex.
My therapist and friends say it doesn't matter I... (read in full...)
What is the significance of a forehead kiss?
Q. So i was @ my Ex girlfreinds, well Girlfreinds, she asked me to give it another go with her last nite, so i went to her house and we was Holding each other, and she asked me to kiss her on the FOREHEAD, What is the significance of a Forehead kiss? t...
A. 10 October 2009: She's being cute. I think she wants you to say you love her, without french kissing her and ending up in another booty call.... (read in full...)
Why do I hate him when he's done nothing wrong?
Q. hiya well ive been with my boyfriend nearly 2 years now and we have a 7 month old daughter the thing is i feel like im beginning to hate him he hasnt done anything wrong but i just dont like him and its making me stressed out just looking at him ...
A. 10 October 2009: Wow! Why do you hate him?
Have you ever tried to figure out what it is that you don't like about him, so much that you "hate" him? It seems when he's gone, you want him back. So there's something you love about him too.
He must think you're on ... (read in full...)
How do I get a balance in this relationship? She's clingy and demanding...
Q. I am 20 years old and my girlfriend 18. We love each other. It’s our first real relationship. We have been together for 9 months. We are comfortable with each other. The problem with our relationship is that she’s very clingy and needy. But I don’t ...
A. 10 October 2009: It seems to me that her demands are not too bad, but I agree going to sleep with her in a messy house with all these other people around well its not intimate.
I think she's not being clingy. She needs a lot of attention because she's in a home w... (read in full...)
My husband moved out to pursue employment. Any tips on how to get through this?
Q. My husband moved out 3 weeks ago to "pursue" employment in another state. He left me and our two daughters (11 and 14) behind to finish school year. He has hated where we live and his being unemployed really took a toll on him. He said he feels ...
A. 10 October 2009: He's going through a lot of insecurities, self-doubt, and a midlife crisis involving career-rebuilding.
All of that takes a toll on a man. He's looking for space but in reality he needs your support. You want to help him, but he's so afraid t... (read in full...)
He took something very special to me. Should I confront him?
Q. okayy so theres this guy ive liked for quite some time, we were all at this party and i was drinking a little to much, i poured my heart out to him and told him how i felt, we stated talking alot, than he took me off into this room, and we started ...
A. 10 October 2009: I feel terrible for you. Here you poured your heart out to a man who instead of listening to you, merely heard what he wanted to hear, told you what you wanted to hear; got what he wanted, and then walked away from you.
I am sorry to say it, but ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with this possessive woman?
Q. Any help here appreciated. Two of my work colleagues are having an affair. He is married and she is not. Everyone kind of knows but to be frank they have been fairly professional about now bringing it into the office. It is not my business and I ...
A. 10 October 2009: Ignore any comments she makes about you and him. It seems to me that sometimes women over-think, over-analyze and over-blow situations.
Its called paranoia. She's projecting onto you something that she's insecure about in herself.
If it gets to... (read in full...)
My boyfriend insults me and punched me in the back!
Q. My boyfriend of almost two years has a huge insecurity about how he compares to other men. I have reassured him (for these two years) that he is the man I want and who I want to be with - oh, and I am 26, he is 30. Last night we were out to...
A. 10 October 2009: It sounds like you've got an abuser. He has a lot of personal problems, and his self-loathing and insecurities, which are his problems are being used against you.
He needs a great deal of help, but this is something you can't help him with. He... (read in full...)
I've been in a relationship for over 3 years now and I'm starting to have doubts.
Q. Hi. I have a dilemma. I've been in a relationship for over 3 years now and I'm starting to have doubts. He's really sweet, kind, generous, loves me for me, I can be completely myself around him, he's dependable, smart and hard working with a ...
A. 10 October 2009: This is a very hard question to answer because from reading what you've said, you're emotionally attached to him, but you don't feel the sexual chemistry there.
Now this could be the result of a lot of things. And so it may take a little explorat... (read in full...)
He shaved his pubic hair when I asked him not to!
Q. So today is a very sad day for me. I've been with my boyfriend for over 3 years and he's been talking about shaving his pubic hair for a while. Well, today he did it! Why why why? He just came home from work ate dinner and did it while i was ...
A. 9 October 2009: Actually I think he did it to be cute for you.... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant but my husband wants me to abort the baby!
Q. I am 38,my husband 46, we both has a daughter from previous marriage, 15 and 13. Now I am pregnant, but my husband does not want the baby. He wants me to do abortion. what I should do? He even wants to divorce! Help!...
A. 9 October 2009: This is truly a terrible situation on your part. No one here can ethically tell you to get an abortion or refrain from getting one.
The decision is purely yours. This is your child, and as you know children can be a wonderful part of your life, or... (read in full...)
I have been having a hard time getting over the break-up of my last relationship.
Q. I have been having a hard time getting over the break-up of my last relationship. It has been a good few months since we last spoke and when things truly ended once and for all, They did not end well. (We broke up in May, cut off all communic...
A. 9 October 2009: Write out a letter to her. Then when the time's right, burn it.
She's not worth a piece of your mind either. Anything that you do that says, "I miss you" is nothing more than a feather in her ego-cap.... (read in full...)
Does being too nice drive women away?
Q. Along time ago my mother told me I was too nice to women and this is why my relationships never last.I have been married two times.The first about 5 years and the second about 9 years..I have had a couple of girl friends after this but nothing ...
A. 9 October 2009: You need to pick out a girl that respects you. That's the problem.
There are women out there who like having nice guys around, but often look at them as friends instead of real life-partners.
That's a problem. You tolerate a lot because you'... (read in full...)
I like him but he's a womanizer
Q. Hello :) I really like one of my close guy friends and alot of my friends think that he likes me back. However, he is a big womanizer; always flirting with every girl, and alot of girls flirt back. But I'm different to alot of girls, I have no idea ...
A. 9 October 2009: Too young to womanize. But if he "bed-hops" at a later age, then that spells trouble. Then he's a party-boy. Good for laughs but not much more.... (read in full...)
My mum is marrying the guy she cheated on my dad with. I'm not happy about it, what do I do?
Q. Im 16, when i was about 3 or 4 my mum and dad went thorught a really bad divorce, because my mum was cheating on my dad, as i was to young to know, i stayed with them both, and i still stay with them both, my brother only stays with my mum though he ...
A. 9 October 2009: I think that after 12 years, you might actually try and open up to your mother's partner.
It would seem after all this time, she probably truly loves him; and I am guessing he truly loves her.
Perhaps all these years he's been afraid to talk t... (read in full...)
She's just not that into me and should I forget it!!!
Q. Hi :) I've been seeing the lady for 5 months now. She is 41, 2 kids separated for 3 years and her life is upside down - no job, bankrupt and mentally exhausted but an amazing women. She is trying to get out of it and probably will but who knows. I...
A. 9 October 2009: Well pretty much what you've updated here tells me the same thing I saw before. She's regressed to her teenage years. She wants to be popular, a high school drama queen, etc.
I'd say she's still very immature for her age. What you're in love wit... (read in full...)
I have been having a hard time getting over the break-up of my last relationship.
Q. I have been having a hard time getting over the break-up of my last relationship. It has been a good few months since we last spoke and when things truly ended once and for all, They did not end well. (We broke up in May, cut off all communic...
A. 9 October 2009: This is the point and time where the best advice is to forget her. You mean less than nothing to her; she doesn't miss you; and she never will.
And likewise, if I were you, I would start looking for someone else to spend my days with, and not wast... (read in full...)
Stripping naked in front of a window?
Q. Can anyone tell me why a woman would strip nacked and flaunt herself in front of the window when she is argueing with her husband ?. I am deeply puzzled as to why she would do this....
A. 9 October 2009: Very little to go on here. But perhaps she's advertising for a new husband?... (read in full...)
Will he forgive me for cheating?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for several years. We live together, and have for the past 3 years. After years of being together, I cheated on him. I am not going to make any excuses. I know what I did was wrong. I knew it when I did it. ...
A. 9 October 2009: The answer to this question really begins with how deep an emotional commitment the two of you have towards each other.
His reaction is going to be that he's going to feel betrayed and hurt by your affair.
However, he has to know that this i... (read in full...)
I'm suffering from "You don't know what its gone until its gone" syndrome
Q. On Monday my girlfriend of 4 years 9 months told me she wanted to end it. We met many years ago when she was an exchange student at my high school in Florida. It was my senior year and she had another 2 years left of gymnasium once she got back to ...
A. 8 October 2009: I am so sorry for the grief you're going through.
This is a very painful moment in time for both you and her.
She's basically saying that she has to give up her health and future for you, or she can pursue her future and regain her healt... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for a woman to ask a man out?
Q. I have another question, is it wrong for woman to ask man out on a date? Does it start a cycle of a woman taking the male role in the relationship?...
A. 8 October 2009: I think the idea of women asking men out, or courting them goes back long before the days of Sadie Hawkins.
We have this romantic ideal of men always being the initiators of romantic contacts when in fact that seems to be a big myth propagat... (read in full...)
Why am I attracted ONLY to older MEN?
Q. Hi there, The thing is I'm not coming here for professional advise, but for some educated opinions, and maybe a parallel to one's own experience (if there are any). I did seek some help on this issue when I was an undergrad and my school therapist...
A. 8 October 2009: I think its quite the opposite. You see your father as immature, attached to your mother's brain; but when you meet older men who are actually mature and free-thinking, you appreciate maturity and patience. That is the ability to clearly think out ... (read in full...)
What do older women see in young guys?
Q. I'm really struggling with this concept. I go on another chat forum and there's an 'older' woman in her 50's that sleeps with loads of blokes. She's married, her husband knows she sleeps about. But the bit I find strange is that she sleeps with ...
A. 8 October 2009: Its sexy. An older woman training a younger man. Fantasy come true for a middle age woman. They call those women "cougars".... (read in full...)
How can I show her that I care?
Q. My girlfriend and I have recently stopped having sex, because we felt it was happening too much but she recently brought across that she still loves me but shes not happy anymore but she tells me she cant picture her life without me. I give her ...
A. 8 October 2009: Well maybe you need to be a little more attentive to the things you need out of the relationship. Right now you're saying you're all give and no take. She's saying, "take". So if you want sex, tell her you want it. If not, ignore her a little bit, ... (read in full...)
Is it unhealthy to have sex during my period?
Q. Okay bear with me... it will make sense when you get to the end. My parents raised our family as naturalists and we would go to different nudist resorts for vacation a few times each year. When I was 17 I met my future husband at a nudist resort ...
A. 8 October 2009: Just be careful and observe the usual cautionary stuff like safe sex. Otherwise there's nothing wrong with it. Its pretty healthy.... (read in full...)
How can I make him feel appreciated and cared for without having sex?
Q. Hi I recently met a guy and we went out a 3 times. I asked him if he is interested and he said yes. He asked me the same and I answered yes. He told me that I did not show him that. I was surprised becuase I thought I had showed him enough. ...
A. 8 October 2009: Three dates is not enough time to "love" someone. You two need to get to know each other better than that.
If he's saying you need to "show" him something, how about he shows you how interested he happens to be in the things that matter to you? ... (read in full...)
How can I deal with my friend going out with my ex?
Q. Hello agony aunts. I'm feeling depression,anger and jealousy all at the same time.The thing is my gf who i've been going out with for over 5 months just up and dumped me like i was nothing to her. She says i wasn't good enough for her. It truly ...
A. 8 October 2009: I put this one on your ex-girlfriend. Some girls like to start fights between guys.
Sooner or later your best friend is going to find out that he's not good enough for her either.
She's what we all call a "heart breaker".
If I were you, ... (read in full...)
Can a big move somehow get him back?
Q. I'm not sure if I'm stalking my ex or if I am taking proactive steps to get him back. I mean surely its OK to want your ex back and to try to do things to make that happen? But what if the things you had to do were really really massive and the ...
A. 7 October 2009: From everything you've written, you've told us that this man is your obsession, not your love.
He can't fall in love with someone that's deceiving him. Its that simple. And he certainly cannot sustain that love if he doesn't even know WHO he is in... (read in full...)
Married with kids. Is the type of sexual assistance I give my man enough?
Q. My husband and I have 3 kids under the age of 7 and I work part time. I am pretty exhausted chasing the kids, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, and have lost my sex drive for the past 9 months. I am concerned that it will never come back like it ...
A. 7 October 2009: Find people to take the kids a couple of times a week. Baby-sitters, friends who will take them overnight and that you can "swap" and take their kids overnight.
Find relatives to watch then children. Whatever it takes to get some time so that the... (read in full...)
Am so used to being used and mistreated, it's what I look for now in a relationship! How do I end the cycle?
Q. Is there something wrong with me? Has this really changed me? I was in a bad relationship where I was lied and cheated on. I forgave her and it just never got better. Things ended kind of with occasional relapses in hanging out. I absolutely was ...
A. 7 October 2009: You don't have to give girlfriend #2 the store just yet. Just give her a chance. I think enjoying her company, being there for her, and eventually opening up to her -- all that gives her the chance to prove to you that she's not like the first ... (read in full...)
How serious should I take it when he says we are not having sex, we are making love?
Q. Ok aunts...this is tricky...im curious how far am i suppose to go when considering the words that are said during sex...i know some talk sh*t when making out and it's just apart of sex...but this guy told me we weren't having sex we were making ...
A. 6 October 2009: Sounds to me like he's really into you and making love with you was his dream and is his passion in this life. I hope you feel the same way.... (read in full...)
Am so used to being used and mistreated, it's what I look for now in a relationship! How do I end the cycle?
Q. Is there something wrong with me? Has this really changed me? I was in a bad relationship where I was lied and cheated on. I forgave her and it just never got better. Things ended kind of with occasional relapses in hanging out. I absolutely was ...
A. 6 October 2009: The best thing you can do for yourself at this point is think of girlfriend #1 as a complete and total stranger in your life. Obviously she was not what you wanted or looked for and its clear she was no the one for you.
Girlfriend #2 seems to... (read in full...)
Like her, but don't want to be hurt anymore. What can I do?
Q. My ex and I broke up one month ago after she told me that she has feeling for someone else. We became best friends 6 years ago and were best friends for 3 years of high school, then she confessed her feelings for me. It was a turbulent time for me ...
A. 6 October 2009: She wants you to stay exclusive with her while she plays the field. Its natural.
Your best bet is to move on, be good to her, and if she really wants you back, then you two can decide then.
It seems from what you've written here that she's ... (read in full...)
Do nice guys even still exist?
Q. I am 19 and I have never been kissed. Or even been on a date. Now that I am in college I want to date but all the guys I meet are more interested in partying and meaningless sex. I do not go to parties and I obviously don't have sex so I don't know ...
A. 6 October 2009: Nice guys exist. You find them all over the place. Even in college classes. Just look around. He's usually not the jock that hangs with his buds, though he might take care of himself.
He might even be the lone wolf out there. Or maybe he does han... (read in full...)
I just can't be with him anymore. How can I get him out of my head?
Q. I need to move on and I know that. The man I was seeing (fallen in love with) was separated and going through a divorce. He asked me out and I accepted and we had the most fantastic 5 months together. His ex started threatening to move away with ...
A. 6 October 2009: I can't help but feel sorry for the two of you. Obviously this man was separated and trying to start a new life. He met you. He did nothing wrong, and nothing to be ashamed of. Neither did you.
You would not have been the "other woman" in these ci... (read in full...)
Is is possible to build trust in a relationship again?
Q. My husband and I have been together for almost 20 years. Recently, I came to discover he likes porn a whole lot more than I realized. He looks at way more online porn than I am comfortable with. I also found out that he was having "chats" online ...
A. 6 October 2009: This is one of those situations in a relationship where you need to spend more time together.
He's becoming interested in porn and internet sex chats because, frankly, his needs as a man are not being addressed. That's not completely your fault. T... (read in full...)
She's just not that into me and should I forget it!!!
Q. Hi :) I've been seeing the lady for 5 months now. She is 41, 2 kids separated for 3 years and her life is upside down - no job, bankrupt and mentally exhausted but an amazing women. She is trying to get out of it and probably will but who knows. I...
A. 5 October 2009: Finances, kids and fantasy lives all get in the way of a really good relationship.
She says she's 16 inside, which tells me that she's far too concerned about herself, and perhaps her children to be that into you right now.
However, she ... (read in full...)
I'm falling in love with someone who isn't my wife!
Q. I am so confused. I am married and our sex life doesn't exist, but there is someone else that I want to be with. I am 40 she is 18 and we are very flirty with each other. I don't know if its the lack of sex at home or what but I am finding myself ...
A. 5 October 2009: You can be in love with several people at the same time, but its very hard to do that.
Having an affair is really the last choice you want to go with. Your better situation is to look at your marriage first.
You say you love your wife, but t... (read in full...)
I've let my insecurities get the better of me and just stuff everything up...
Q. I don't know what to do.. i feel as though my relationship, more myself has gone off track by a mile. I have been with my boyfriend for over 3 years and am 19 and in the past year have become overly obsessive and insecure. i really don't kno...
A. 5 October 2009: The cornerstone of every relationship is trust. What you've got going on and have had going on for awhile now is a lack of trust or confidence in your boyfriend.
He's a flirt. Men do that. Sometimes its ego-stroking, sometimes its a way to get y... (read in full...)
Am so used to being used and mistreated, it's what I look for now in a relationship! How do I end the cycle?
Q. Is there something wrong with me? Has this really changed me? I was in a bad relationship where I was lied and cheated on. I forgave her and it just never got better. Things ended kind of with occasional relapses in hanging out. I absolutely was ...
A. 5 October 2009: The "bad girl" represents your past. The "good girl" represents your future.
Try and focus on your new girlfriend. Is she in anyway aware of the past issues with the "bad girl"?
Perhaps as you get more acquainted with your new girlfriend, and ... (read in full...)
It's been 4 years and I still have feelings for this guy. Is this completely irrational of me?
Q. ok so here it goes. four years ago i fell in love with a great guy. he was everything i wanted in a guy but the problem was that he was my brothers best friend. when this guy finally started to like me and wanted to date me, i pushed him away. none ...
A. 5 October 2009: Its not quite clear here. Is he still available? Is that why you're interested in him? It seems like you want to be over him, yet for some reason you are so attracted to him.
Perhaps maybe you should change your mind, and go with your heart? O... (read in full...)
He shaved his pubic hair when I asked him not to!
Q. So today is a very sad day for me. I've been with my boyfriend for over 3 years and he's been talking about shaving his pubic hair for a while. Well, today he did it! Why why why? He just came home from work ate dinner and did it while i was ...
A. 5 October 2009: He may have wanted to experience it without the hair. You know you can feel more without hair in the way.... (read in full...)
How serious should I take it when he says we are not having sex, we are making love?
Q. Ok aunts...this is tricky...im curious how far am i suppose to go when considering the words that are said during sex...i know some talk sh*t when making out and it's just apart of sex...but this guy told me we weren't having sex we were making ...
A. 5 October 2009: "Making love" implies an emotional and physical connection. That is he's emotionally attached to you.
Having sex, that's just a mechanical issue.
I'd say unless he was wrapped into you emotionally, its having sex. If he was wrapped into you... (read in full...)
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