A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey,I am feeling pretty down today. Basically me and my girlfriend of 2 years nearly broke up 1 month ago. Since then we have remained friends, seeing each other every 2 days at leasat (she lives 200 M from me..)Anyway, she still loves me but is not in love with me.Anyway, ever since we broke up, i feel like my life is shit. I am i guess you could say quiet, and during uni hardley go out, as I need to maintain a good mark for uni. my ex on the other hand is very socialble, and has a group of friends to go out with, and gets along with boys and girls.I on the other hand only have few good friends, mainly guys who dont go out often. I am not that confidient with strangers and I feel like I am a loser for not going out, not enjoying drinking etc and unable to meet new people. Most of my time is at home studying / watching movies.How can i move on.. how can i meet people and enjoy myself without the guilt of sacrafising my studies... I hate how my GF is able to get along with people so easily. We are still on good terms btw, mutual breakup as we were getting boring..which i think is due to my mindset..help me =[
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2009): thanks for answers guys,had another talk with her last night. Things are still the same, but I think this break up, in a way, is to help me find myself. She still thinks about me and i hope i never lose her from my life, weahter it is BF or Friend. But bottom line I knwo i need some changes in my life
A
male
reader, softtouchmale2003  +, writes (6 September 2009):
 This is the best advice. I think if you want to have a better life, stop focusing on how sociable your girlfriend is. You want to focus on your mindset.
Somewhere, and I don't want to give you any false hope here, she is thinking of you. What you say is "boring" may very well be an attitude issue. In other words, the reason why you are not "exciting" to her, in the way she needs you to be, is the same reason you're not wandering around out there in the party scene.
Let me make a suggestion. You don't have to drink to go out. But what you should start thinking about is what it is you can do, for yourself, to change your shyness and make you more of a sociable person.
In life you're going to have to go out there and rub elbows with people. Some people will be friends, others will be acquaintances. Therefore, try and focus on making yourself a little more open and receptive to the outside world.
I think the reason why you are going through this, and she probably would have stayed closer to you emotionally, is if you could change your behavior a little bit. She's attracted to you, but she's looking for something in you beyond just shutting in. She wants someone to have a social life with too, or at least that's what it looks like.
Maybe she just got tired of trying to pull you out of your shell? I don't know.
But if you want to feel better about yourself, then take a little time every chance you get and start learning how to mingle socially. If anything, maybe you'll meet a nice girl out there that shares a lighter social schedule and wants more "in" time with you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2009): I think you should join a club or society which is run through your uni. You will meet loads of people who will have similar interests to you. So striking up a conversation will be easier. Being a member of a club always looks good on the CV and shouldn't take up too much of your time. Volunteering is also something that would look good on the CV and you will meet new people.Hope this helps.
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