She's just not that into me and should I forget it!!!
Q. Hi :) I've been seeing the lady for 5 months now. She is 41, 2 kids separated for 3 years and her life is upside down - no job, bankrupt and mentally exhausted but an amazing women. She is trying to get out of it and probably will but who knows. I...
A. 18 February 2010: Kaarde,
I have to say she's just using you. I don't think I could tolerate someone rotating in and out of my life like this. I don't see why you're letting her do this to you.
I've been through this with a woman I love deeply and all she has ... (read in full...)
It scares me that I am thinking of sleeping with someone other than my wife!
Q. hello all, i pretty much no the answers to the question i am going to ask, but i spose i want some reasurance that i am right. for the past 3 months or so my wife and i have only had sex twice. this is playing on my mind big time as to me she is a...
A. 10 January 2010: Its interesting that you mentioned how much you love your wife, yet vacillate on forgiving her or forgetting.
My advice to you is to try and forget the past infidelity of your wife, and try and get closer to her right now. You had said in your ori... (read in full...)
Can Impotence be Caused by Emotional Problems?
Q. Do you know anything about impotence caused by Emotional Problems? My husband is impotent and we don't know why. Now ,they checked out everything medically, but no answer to the question. Why is he impotent? So ,he gets an erection,not very long, ...
A. 9 January 2010: Its something both of you have to work on with experts. Try a therapist first. It could very well be he's under a great deal of stress, it could be work; maybe a marital issue that's gone unresolved.
Who knows. Its probably not you per se thoug... (read in full...)
It scares me that I am thinking of sleeping with someone other than my wife!
Q. hello all, i pretty much no the answers to the question i am going to ask, but i spose i want some reasurance that i am right. for the past 3 months or so my wife and i have only had sex twice. this is playing on my mind big time as to me she is a...
A. 9 January 2010: Hi,
I really feel for you on this one. What you wrote:
"[I] love my wife so much, more than [I] have ever loved anyone else before, and it is really scaring me that i am actually thinking this way...."
says it right there.
And this is wh... (read in full...)
Married a year and only had sex twice!
Q. my husband and i have been married less than a year and im starting to regret marrying him, we rarely have sex in fact we only had sex twice last year and once the year before that. The thing is he spent the best part of four years cheating on me ...
A. 9 January 2010: Wow! This is one of those times when you have to outright confront him about (a) whether he's still cheating on you and (b) why he seems to ignore your sexual needs, yet conveniently "handles" his own.
Marriage is a lot more than just sharing ... (read in full...)
I am obsessed with my wife's ex-relationship... how do I let it go?
Q. I have been married for 19 years and my wife has been honest, loving and faithful. But, one of her (2) past relationships still haunts me. We were in college and she broke up with me to go out with him, then we got back together. Then she broke ...
A. 29 December 2009: What's bothering you is the fact that you don't trust your wife. Basically you think she's still hung up on this guy, and he's an old flame that could reignite any moment.
Frankly after 19 years of marriage, if you want to toss all that aside an... (read in full...)
What does it mean when someone says this?
Q. ..what doess it mean if someone says that they dnt ever want to lose you,and they will never hurt you,and when they say" i love you with all my heart"and when they say"we have a special bond"..and when they say"they will never leave you"...
A. 29 December 2009: Well if this is someone you are in love with, then its natural to say that, and hopefully they mean it now and forever.
If its someone you hardly know, then I'd say you have a stalker on your hands.
Its touching and it means someone is deepl... (read in full...)
I think I have a split personality
Q. Hi, I think there is something wrong with me. I have split personality's. It sound's strange but true. One day I can be the most happiest person alive. I talk a lot sing loads, I buY lot's of nice expensive things for myself and I become very sel...
A. 28 December 2009: It sounds like you have bi-polar disorder. You need to see a psychiatrist and have them figure out which medication will stabilize your moods so that you're running on an even keel.
If you keep going like this, it will interfere with your life and... (read in full...)
How can one define beauty and how did its pursuit get so destructive?
Q. We largely agree that true beauty comes from within and superficial pulchritude fades with time...However, since young women are constantly being bombarded with images of gorgeous people who relentlessly seek to sell us the promise of looks, ...
A. 28 December 2009: Those who obsess too much over physical beauty will never see the hidden rose under their nose, and then they will only feel its thorn at the end of their pursuits.... (read in full...)
How can I make my g/f trust me?
Q. How do i make my girlfriend trust me that i dont smoke anymore? I have lost her trust because my best friend's girlfriend lied to her that i still smoke and now i have lost her trust due to that....
A. 28 December 2009: Well if your girlfriend would rather believe a liar, maybe she doesn't deserve you.
The best way to get this resolved is to talk to your best friend and get his girlfriend to tell the truth.
If your girlfriend doesn't believe you after that t... (read in full...)
I have OCD which is affecting my life, how do I get rid of this mental disorder?
Q. Hello everyone, I am 15 and I have OCD, (Obsessive- compulsive Disorder). I'm not a big fan of this but I have had it for about 6 Years. It's really starting to annoy me now, I am ALWAYS paranoid that my boyfriend is cheating, paranoid ...
A. 28 December 2009: They make anti-depressants and other medications that help control the symptoms of OCD. OCD could be a co-dependent condition so I would suggest going to a neuropsychiatrist and having that specialist try and find a way to control your symptoms.
... (read in full...)
How do I stop negative thinking and enjoy dating?
Q. When I first meet a guy I'm really confident. But if it goes to the next level, like going on a date, I start to get insecure! I always think that there is someone better out there for him and why is he wasting time with me? The guy I'm going out on ...
A. 28 December 2009: If you are insecure about yourself, then you don't know who you are deep down inside. So as soon as you start seeing a guy, and you become emotionally attached to him, you start thinking you're not good enough.
That kind of thinking leaks out in y... (read in full...)
Why and How to Play the Game before Love?
Q. Ok.. so I want to know why we people have to play a game before giving into love n how to play... Why does it have to be difficult and confusing to just be like "Hey I like u very much and would like it if we stick with eachother and develop , ...
A. 28 December 2009: Your best strategy here is to be yourself. Love develops over time, through trust and emotional connections, communication and intimacy.
The "game" is the parts you described, knowing, maturing and learning about each other.
Any other ver... (read in full...)
She says she is happy with her new relationship, do I keep telling her how I feel?
Q. ok 2 1/2 months ago my gf and i called it quits after 7 years and two kids, we both did a lot of hurtful things to each other verbally and some physically and she said she finally couldnt take it anymore so were done, the thing is i still care for ...
A. 28 December 2009: It sounds like you've been dumped. Sticking with her solely for the kids is crazy.
If the two of you aren't in this together and can't work your differences out, then you're probably better apart. Be civil to each other for the kids. But you shou... (read in full...)
My girlfriend and I broke up but I want her back and she is confused! Help!
Q. Hello, After a big fight we had after 3 years(said some mean things that shocked her alot, hurt her alot, and it was too much for her). Basically, she done something that bothered me and she didnt know how fix it. Bottled up anger and vented her o...
A. 28 December 2009: Your girlfriend is definitely vacillating with you. The issue is that when people reach a boiling point, especially in a loving relationship, things that you thought were buried well right up to the surface and hit big time.
She was seeing t... (read in full...)
I just dumped my married b/f he says I am being childish!
Q. Good day all and may u all have a blessed xmas and prosperous new year :-) . Well i'm in need of TLC i just dumped my married boyfriend of 3 half years via sms .. thing is i went on his facebook and saw pics of his wedding day and of him and soon...
A. 19 December 2009: There are two schools of thought here. If a person, man or woman, cheats on a spouse that it automatically makes them childish and selfish.
Then the other side of the coin is they will tell you that their marriage was unhappy and they went loo... (read in full...)
He said he'd call, but he hasn't. will he?
Q. I was with my exboyfriend for 2 years. We lived together and were seriously talking about marriage. I made a huge mistake and moved out. I was really stressed out and thought he was the cause. Now that I have moved out, I am miserable and want him ...
A. 17 December 2009: Ouch! If he's never had a serious long term relationship before, then this really hurt him.
I can see where the mass of confusion is coming from with him. Its not meant that he get confused, but I think he really is confused. All those mixed si... (read in full...)
He said he'd call, but he hasn't. will he?
Q. I was with my exboyfriend for 2 years. We lived together and were seriously talking about marriage. I made a huge mistake and moved out. I was really stressed out and thought he was the cause. Now that I have moved out, I am miserable and want him ...
A. 17 December 2009: Four days ago? Okay. I didn't realize it was that soon. Well you could leave him alone, but I would suspect the holidays will pull him down a bit. You know him best. Has he ever felt smothered by you before?... (read in full...)
How much do guys think about sex?
Q. Hi, I've had a question on my mind for some time now. I was wondering how much do guys really think about sex? I've heard from some of my guy friends that they think about it all the time. Is that true? How much of your time is spent thinking about ...
A. 17 December 2009: Well the average human in modern society thinks about sex about once every 11 seconds. Men and women. Men think of it visually, women split it between personal vanity, looking at other women and how they look, making comparisons, thinking about ... (read in full...)
After a serious break up can a guy still be friends with his ex?
Q. After a serious break up can a guy still be friends with his ex? She pleaded and cried that I still be her friend. I said "no" and have maintained no contact thus far. she hasn't tried to call or anything. She hurt me pretty badly (refer to: ...
A. 17 December 2009: When someone breaks your heart, its hard to be friends with someone who hurt you. At least right away. You don't want to learn about their new dates, or who they're hanging out with because after all you miss that person and you're still in a lot of ... (read in full...)
He said he'd call, but he hasn't. will he?
Q. I was with my exboyfriend for 2 years. We lived together and were seriously talking about marriage. I made a huge mistake and moved out. I was really stressed out and thought he was the cause. Now that I have moved out, I am miserable and want him ...
A. 17 December 2009: You asked: "How are you sure that he will call?"
You need to call him and find a way to get together with him. See my other answer. He may be afraid to call you right now.... (read in full...)
He wants to give up his dream for me
Q. My fiancee and I have been together for four years. I love him very much, and I would never want to be the reason he turned down a dream. However, I've spent the past few years training in a field that is highly specialized to where we live no...
A. 17 December 2009: He loves you enough to give up everything to be with you. Its an enormous sacrifice.
But your happiness comes first to him.
I would see if its possible for him to commute and perhaps some day closer to now, he could find a way to make your... (read in full...)
He said he'd call, but he hasn't. will he?
Q. I was with my exboyfriend for 2 years. We lived together and were seriously talking about marriage. I made a huge mistake and moved out. I was really stressed out and thought he was the cause. Now that I have moved out, I am miserable and want him ...
A. 17 December 2009: He's afraid you'll hurt him again. It isn't rejection that's playing here as some posters suggest.
What happened is that he had a lot of trust and faith in you. After 2 years, you two built up a great deal of emotional intimacy, or so he may have... (read in full...)
Is he letting me down softly?
Q. I don't know where to start but here it goes... A year ago I was going through a separation with my husband. I began seeing a fellow co-worker as a casual fling. He pursued hard and we eventually began dating. We broke up on and off over the cour...
A. 6 December 2009: Your husband got involved in you relationship to break it up. Your boyfriend has to understand that a lot of jealousy was involved there, and he fell for it.
Had your husband not got involved, you would have had time to develop your relation... (read in full...)
She's just not that into me and should I forget it!!!
Q. Hi :) I've been seeing the lady for 5 months now. She is 41, 2 kids separated for 3 years and her life is upside down - no job, bankrupt and mentally exhausted but an amazing women. She is trying to get out of it and probably will but who knows. I...
A. 6 December 2009: Duce00 has a point to well a small point.
If you can tolerate her rotating in and out of your life, and waiting in the bull pen for your time at the bat, then I suppose that's okay.
But if I suspect you are more into monogamous relationships, t... (read in full...)
She's just not that into me and should I forget it!!!
Q. Hi :) I've been seeing the lady for 5 months now. She is 41, 2 kids separated for 3 years and her life is upside down - no job, bankrupt and mentally exhausted but an amazing women. She is trying to get out of it and probably will but who knows. I...
A. 3 December 2009: q1605 has a point there. Its possible she's got someone else dangling on a string, or maybe several men.
If you're in one day and out the other, it comes to mind first of all she doesn't really love you. More importantly though, for your own sani... (read in full...)
She's just not that into me and should I forget it!!!
Q. Hi :) I've been seeing the lady for 5 months now. She is 41, 2 kids separated for 3 years and her life is upside down - no job, bankrupt and mentally exhausted but an amazing women. She is trying to get out of it and probably will but who knows. I...
A. 29 November 2009: Wow! She sounds like she's running some kind of time table.
She doesn't know what she wants, and it may be a long time before she figures it out.
Your decision to walk and cut her loose is probably the best.
After a few more times of her ru... (read in full...)
I will leave my husband as I have been living a lie, what is your advice?
Q. When I married my husband I was so in love. I trusted him but recently found out he had betrayed me by spending thousands and thousands of pounds not only on gambling but on other women. I found text messages from a girl, called Claire... and I ...
A. 24 November 2009: Hi there,
Well you could spend an enormous amount of time obsessing over his infidelities. Frankly I would have to say, if you filed for divorce, you can go with option 2, that is the gambling, or sudden loss of thousands of pounds a month.
... (read in full...)
Do other christian girls masturbate?
Q. Do other christian girls masturbate? i feel like im doing something horrible. I dont have a boyfriend and never even had one. Lately ive been so horny so i wanted to hear more stories about girls my age who do and are strong believers too. I know ...
A. 22 November 2009: Instead of feeling guilty about this, remind yourself that God gave you a body that works in all sorts of ways. And that's important.
Forget the preachers, forget the judgmentalisms; forget all the taboos about masturbation. Its all made up junk.... (read in full...)
How do I get her to fall back in love with me?
Q. The woman i grew up with and was to get married to broke up with me years ago. 2 yrs ago we got back in touch and we both admitted we still love each other. But the last 2 yrs all the guys she tried to meet just use her and degrade her. When i asked ...
A. 22 November 2009: This one's simple. She hasn't figured out what she wants out of her life. Until she sees a future with you, she's going to keep looking for whatever it is she thinks she wants.
As a friend, you're "safe". But as a friend, she's using you because ... (read in full...)
Cheated now confused... I am sad and lonely... why?
Q. Hi, I just need some advice I dont know what to do I cheated on my husband because I wasnt getting the affection I needed, but I knew from the begin that the guy I was cheating with was married and it would never be anymore than sex. Now Im just so ...
A. 22 November 2009: The first issue here is whether you want to keep your husband and it seems from what you've written -- you do.
The second issue is you're going through a guilt and shame phase. You cheated because you weren't getting the attention that you need... (read in full...)
I told him I had Herpes and now he won't see me
Q. Met this guy 5 times and really hit it off. Just before 3rd date I told him that I had genital herpes. He said he was falling in love, and still met me for date, but then told me we could only be friends. I havent seen him for 2 weeks, and last ...
A. 22 November 2009: Well it could be he's gun-shy. Did he just break up with someone else? Are there lingering ghosts of a past marriage?
Sometimes its hard for a guy to just get into a relationship with a woman especially if he's still hurting over the last one.
... (read in full...)
I told him I had Herpes and now he won't see me
Q. Met this guy 5 times and really hit it off. Just before 3rd date I told him that I had genital herpes. He said he was falling in love, and still met me for date, but then told me we could only be friends. I havent seen him for 2 weeks, and last ...
A. 22 November 2009: It could be personal problems. It could be the herpes. My experience is that you can still have relatively safe sex with herpes, you just have to be careful when the virus is active.
You might want to be kind, wait a little bit and ask him if h... (read in full...)
She's just not that into me and should I forget it!!!
Q. Hi :) I've been seeing the lady for 5 months now. She is 41, 2 kids separated for 3 years and her life is upside down - no job, bankrupt and mentally exhausted but an amazing women. She is trying to get out of it and probably will but who knows. I...
A. 21 November 2009: The only thing that concerns me is that she's still visiting the online dating site.
That's creepy. If she's got you then what? Is she looking for more options?
Would she feel all comfy if you were on the same online dating site hitting on ... (read in full...)
She's just not that into me and should I forget it!!!
Q. Hi :) I've been seeing the lady for 5 months now. She is 41, 2 kids separated for 3 years and her life is upside down - no job, bankrupt and mentally exhausted but an amazing women. She is trying to get out of it and probably will but who knows. I...
A. 18 November 2009: Its one of those things. Maybe she saw what she was losing? Maybe she didn't know what she had?
It could also be she's cake-eating. That is dangling you on the end of a string while going out and having the time of her life.
In either event my ... (read in full...)
I've let my insecurities get the better of me and just stuff everything up...
Q. I don't know what to do.. i feel as though my relationship, more myself has gone off track by a mile. I have been with my boyfriend for over 3 years and am 19 and in the past year have become overly obsessive and insecure. i really don't kno...
A. 7 November 2009: Sadly it appears you have not been able to reconcile with him.
Its very hard to find true love in this world. As time marches on, if your now ex-boyfriend doesn't see the bigger picture, he will forever be wandering about looking for somethin... (read in full...)
I've let my insecurities get the better of me and just stuff everything up...
Q. I don't know what to do.. i feel as though my relationship, more myself has gone off track by a mile. I have been with my boyfriend for over 3 years and am 19 and in the past year have become overly obsessive and insecure. i really don't kno...
A. 28 October 2009: I can see what you're saying there. I am so sorry that he was mean to you. I've been hurt by many women in the past, and I don't recall ever calling any of them a "bitch, whore or slut".
I think maybe he's still a bit immature, and so it takes ti... (read in full...)
Nice guy has turned into a jerk! Now what?
Q. Ok well here goes nothing..I have nobody else I can talk to and I need to get some advice. First I am going to ask people not to put me down for my decisions, because i could never regret them. I have 2 beautiful children who I love very much. My ...
A. 24 October 2009: Wow! I feel terrible for you. What is it, does "loser" run in the male side of that family? Twins no less?
Okay here's a possible solution to your problem.
Your boyfriend has to stop taking drugs and drinking. The booze and the dope have comple... (read in full...)
Did she disappear because I said I love you?
Q. please help on this case i wish some experienced aunties would give me some fullfilling answers me 33 yrs and a girl 37 yrs both married but she intiated the flirting atmosphere with me, in other words she was persuing me for a long time before...
A. 24 October 2009: The flirting was just that. She doesn't want you as a lover. She was playing with you. Now that she got you to say the magic words, its not fun anymore.... (read in full...)
Should I feel guilty about watching porn?
Q. I watch a lot of porn and can't help myself everytime I try to stop. Should I feel guilty about this?...
A. 24 October 2009: At your age? No. But I would suggest setting it aside and trying to find a real person to occupy your desires instead of trying to enjoy sex vicariously through pornstars.
Just a suggestion. Having a desire for sex, or a curiosity about it is he... (read in full...)
How can I help him see I'm trust worthy?
Q. I have been with this guy for a little over a year our begaining wasn't so good. I have learned to trust him but he still don't trust me. How can I help him see I'm trust worthy?...
A. 24 October 2009: There really isn't much detail here about why the beginning was so rocky.
Trust is something that has to be built up through a lot of communications and time spent together.
He may have a lot of baggage dragging behind him, so that trust is no... (read in full...)
Should I end my marriage or stay in it for my son ??
Q. 37 years old, successful doctor, married for 8 years and have only one child .. he is 6. I am in love with another woman for sometime now .... she doesn't want the role of being mistress ... she want a full relationship and to divorce my wife if I ...
A. 24 October 2009: A few questions come to mind.
First you say, "Previous times of affairs were just for sex ... this time, I am really in love ...."
Were these previous affairs connected with the same marriage that you are in now? Or were they affairs that led... (read in full...)
Why do I feel ashamed after I cum?
Q. How is it that when I cum I feel ashamed after?...
A. 23 October 2009: Its a very good question. It all depends on where it all goes. Is this after you have sex with someone else? ... (read in full...)
I will leave my husband as I have been living a lie, what is your advice?
Q. When I married my husband I was so in love. I trusted him but recently found out he had betrayed me by spending thousands and thousands of pounds not only on gambling but on other women. I found text messages from a girl, called Claire... and I ...
A. 22 October 2009: I am so sorry for you. It seems that you have been through something. The gambling, the seeming porn addiction, and possible affair.
There appears no hope to reconcile here? Not at all?
In either event, there is little advice to offer here as... (read in full...)
She's just not that into me and should I forget it!!!
Q. Hi :) I've been seeing the lady for 5 months now. She is 41, 2 kids separated for 3 years and her life is upside down - no job, bankrupt and mentally exhausted but an amazing women. She is trying to get out of it and probably will but who knows. I...
A. 9 October 2009: Well pretty much what you've updated here tells me the same thing I saw before. She's regressed to her teenage years. She wants to be popular, a high school drama queen, etc.
I'd say she's still very immature for her age. What you're in love wit... (read in full...)
She's just not that into me and should I forget it!!!
Q. Hi :) I've been seeing the lady for 5 months now. She is 41, 2 kids separated for 3 years and her life is upside down - no job, bankrupt and mentally exhausted but an amazing women. She is trying to get out of it and probably will but who knows. I...
A. 5 October 2009: Finances, kids and fantasy lives all get in the way of a really good relationship.
She says she's 16 inside, which tells me that she's far too concerned about herself, and perhaps her children to be that into you right now.
However, she ... (read in full...)
I've let my insecurities get the better of me and just stuff everything up...
Q. I don't know what to do.. i feel as though my relationship, more myself has gone off track by a mile. I have been with my boyfriend for over 3 years and am 19 and in the past year have become overly obsessive and insecure. i really don't kno...
A. 5 October 2009: The cornerstone of every relationship is trust. What you've got going on and have had going on for awhile now is a lack of trust or confidence in your boyfriend.
He's a flirt. Men do that. Sometimes its ego-stroking, sometimes its a way to get y... (read in full...)
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