Can a woman have sex with her husband and lover without giving anything away?
Q. I'm a guy of 54 years and was happily married for 19 years,there have been no Kids,which is the choice of my 44 year old wife (and mine).About six weeks ago I noticed my wife taking the odd call late at night and walking out of ear shot from me,this ...
A. 16 October 2009: Tom with all the best intentions I think your wife has crapped the marriage terribly.
I had thought for certain she'd have stayed with GG and made him crazy till he'd thrown her out. Now she's living in a trailer (yes a caravan but here we call ... (read in full...)
Can a woman have sex with her husband and lover without giving anything away?
Q. I'm a guy of 54 years and was happily married for 19 years,there have been no Kids,which is the choice of my 44 year old wife (and mine).About six weeks ago I noticed my wife taking the odd call late at night and walking out of ear shot from me,this ...
A. 22 September 2009: Tom, sadly you have the blessings of wealth; the blessings of good physical health; and unfortunately the curse of a woman who cannot love you and you alone.
The good news is that you will find someone better than her. You have everything in you t... (read in full...)
Am I being too sensitive?
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for 3 months and this is by far the best relationship I have ever had (and that includes two failed marriages). We are very much in love. The problem is she has gone away for a skiing holiday with her girlfriends for a ...
A. 10 September 2009: Bobby,
Don't be short with her. She's thinking about you while she's away and she probably does miss you.
When she gets back, just look at her and smile and be very good to her that's all.... (read in full...)
Can a woman have sex with her husband and lover without giving anything away?
Q. I'm a guy of 54 years and was happily married for 19 years,there have been no Kids,which is the choice of my 44 year old wife (and mine).About six weeks ago I noticed my wife taking the odd call late at night and walking out of ear shot from me,this ...
A. 9 September 2009: Tom,
I think its very hard for your wife to ever explain what went wrong in your marriage. Maybe nothing went wrong and she snapped and fell for an affair merely out of personal boredom.
I know that when women hit menopause or have their own m... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has unresolved issues with his ex-fiancee!
Q. I've been seeing this guy for six months and I really love him. He's been hesitant to fully commit to me so I confronted him about it. He always tells me he loves me and cares about me a lot. He said he hasn't been able to commit because he has ...
A. 9 September 2009: It seems that he is very emotionally attached to you, based on what you said:
"...he's been pretty gentle with me, asking how I am, how I slept, if anything's bothering me, and if I want to talk about it. So in a sence (sic) he's been taking c... (read in full...)
How should I deal with my situation?
Q. Please, no judgment. All I want is a sympathetic advice. I met this man 3 years ago, and it was a love from first glance. Our situation is:he is single, divorced 12 years ago, never got remarried, i am married my wholle life to a wonderfull man, we h...
A. 9 September 2009: Jane you're right. There were one or two remarks here and there. But there are few "judgers" here. Most everyone tried to answer your question and offer the best possible advice they could think of -- given what you wrote.
We're all thinking... (read in full...)
Am I being too sensitive?
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for 3 months and this is by far the best relationship I have ever had (and that includes two failed marriages). We are very much in love. The problem is she has gone away for a skiing holiday with her girlfriends for a ...
A. 9 September 2009: Don't let your insecurities and fears get ahold of you. That's your ego screaming at you. That immature, self-absorbed screaming lunatic inside your head that can't shut up all day.
Try calming down. Ignore that background noise.
Here's what s... (read in full...)
Should I be worried? I havn't heard from her?
Q. I havent heard from my girlfriend for almost a week when we usually talk every night. The only thing i know of what is going on is that her family member at the beginning of the week said that she left her phone at her house after watching her kids ...
A. 9 September 2009: After your follow-up I have to make a comment here.
If you've had this many cheaters in your relationships, maybe you ought to start defining your boundaries, and refining who it is you want to date.
If you're getting this kind of pattern, mayb... (read in full...)
Sexual position suggestions
Q. Hello people, I have a sex question. My girlfriend has told me that my dick is a little bit larger than she's used to, and we've been having problems finding a good position. If we're not really careful, it comes out, and it's a hassle when I h...
A. 8 September 2009: Go slow. Try other things besides just coital intercourse. Have you tried exploring each other, touching, and being sensitive to all of her other spots and vice versa?
If you just have to get down to business, try going very slow and gentle. ... (read in full...)
He was unsatisfied now I'm unsatisfied what do I do?
Q. i have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now. about 6 months ago he sat me down and we had a discussion about how our sex life was unsatisfying to him. he told me that he wasnt questioning our relasionship he just wanted to improve our sex life ...
A. 8 September 2009: Try taking your time together. Its not a race to the finish.
Have you two considered just holding each other gently and looking into each others' eyes for a while. Kissing and petting and taking your time first? Then move to a little foreplay... (read in full...)
Should'nt we still be hugging and kissing?
Q. I have problem, my live in husband wont kiss or hug me or even touch me in any kind of way, what can I do, what can I say, he hasnt touched me in over six months! please help could he be cheating on me, we are 48 years old and shouldnt we still be ...
A. 8 September 2009: Its a good question you have there.
How much time do the two of you spend together? Is it an hour or two each day, what about the weekends? The more time you spend together, doing things together, the more likely he's going to feel closer t... (read in full...)
How should I deal with my situation?
Q. Please, no judgment. All I want is a sympathetic advice. I met this man 3 years ago, and it was a love from first glance. Our situation is:he is single, divorced 12 years ago, never got remarried, i am married my wholle life to a wonderfull man, we h...
A. 8 September 2009: I think you need to leave him and start shopping at home. In other words, just cut the guy off permanently. He's making you miserable and you're tired of him. Put it this way, he was a playmate, not an intimate future interest.
You say your hus... (read in full...)
Should I be worried? I havn't heard from her?
Q. I havent heard from my girlfriend for almost a week when we usually talk every night. The only thing i know of what is going on is that her family member at the beginning of the week said that she left her phone at her house after watching her kids ...
A. 8 September 2009: It doesn't look good when a girlfriend suddenly goes no-contact with you. Her family member could be covering for her. Then again, no one including you knows why she's disappeared.
Some women do that and then later on come back and apologiz... (read in full...)
Should I confront him about my suspicions or am I just overreacting?
Q. Lately my boyfriend has been really moody and becoming more and more aggressive towards me. He says things like "I just want to fight you sometimes" and "do you always have to ask questions? you're so f*ing dumb." a friend pointed out to me that ...
A. 8 September 2009: Its a good question and if he is doing that he's hurting himself and you.
Steroids are not something you want to abuse. They can cause a great deal of physical deterioration later on in life, and unless he wants double hip implants and surgery ... (read in full...)
I screwed up but want another chance with her....
Q. here goes nothing. I was with this girl for about two months, maybe a little less. We got along great, sex was awesome, had a great connection. I am not the most secure person, and I had some issues. She told me very straightforward earlier in ...
A. 8 September 2009: I wouldn't count on it. You're a good time. The fact that she's started shopping so soon tells me that she wasn't that serious about you.
Unfortunately from everything you've said, she's a player and you're serious.
As far as insecurity issue... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is manipulative and talks badly of me to friends. What do I do?
Q. ok so i dont know what to do. Everytime me and my boyrfriend fight he always turns it around on me...he is very munipulative.We fight all the time and we live together. he tells me if i move out then he will break up with me. He says that all the ...
A. 8 September 2009: Move out and leave him. Or kick him out if its your place. Its obvious he's abusive. He needs to learn to appreciate you instead of use you as a doormat.
Your boyfriend has a great deal of anger issues. What he's doing is taking all of his inte... (read in full...)
Confused, upset and desperate for answers!
Q. Hi. I posted a question earlier on but I didn't get any replies so I'm trying again and really hoping someone can help me! My boyfriend broke up with me about a month ago after 7 months together. We are both in our early twenties and we were ...
A. 8 September 2009: First of all he has some serious trust issues with you.
The cornerstone of any relationship is trust. If he doesn't have the ability to trust, and he's insecure, then the real issue is in his mind and in his heart.
One of the things you could... (read in full...)
When is sex just sex?
Q. when is sex just sex for you,dear men (not talking about one night stands and casual hook-ups with women you don't really care about) and when do you know skip over that hill and make love to your partner? How does your behavior in bed change, ...
A. 8 September 2009: Sex and making love with each other are different. Perhaps your man has the same question running around in his handsome head?
To me, as a man, sex is pretty much 15 minutes of fame.
The most enjoyable thing is the emotional connection, and ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has unresolved issues with his ex-fiancee!
Q. I've been seeing this guy for six months and I really love him. He's been hesitant to fully commit to me so I confronted him about it. He always tells me he loves me and cares about me a lot. He said he hasn't been able to commit because he has ...
A. 8 September 2009: Your boyfriend is conflicted here because of all sorts of issues concerning his ex's family and his still deep, lingering feelings for his ex.
He seems to be trying, but not yet striving.
Let me suggest this. You're correct in being patient wi... (read in full...)
I have no idea how to break up with my boyfriend of 3 years!
Q. I am in a serious dilehma. I haven't slept more than three hours a day for what seems ages, and I think about it every single waking moment and it's eating a lot of my energy and leaves me exchausted everytime. The problem is, I have been thinki...
A. 8 September 2009: I can't really tell you how sorry I am for your dilemma and his.
Distance crushes relationships. I think you are in love with him, but the problem is that you're very afraid you will lose him for other reasons.
He's told you his dreams, and ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for being happy that my daughter has a good relationship with her father?
Q. I have been with the man I'm with now for 2 years and our relationship is ready to crumble. I have a daughter with my ex that I was with for 12 years and my current man can not handle our friend relationship. It hurts me deeply that he can't see ...
A. 8 September 2009: You have an interesting situation here. Your man is in an emotional war with your daughter over your heart.
He sees your ex showing up, and you're happy to see your daughter bond with her father. But your man sees this as a threat.
Basical... (read in full...)
Can a woman have sex with her husband and lover without giving anything away?
Q. I'm a guy of 54 years and was happily married for 19 years,there have been no Kids,which is the choice of my 44 year old wife (and mine).About six weeks ago I noticed my wife taking the odd call late at night and walking out of ear shot from me,this ...
A. 8 September 2009: Tom,
You needn't worry. Let your lawyers handle it. I'm sure whenever she attempts to return to an empty home with new locks on the doors, she'll get the message.
... (read in full...)
How can I deal with the crushing lonliness I feel when I'm not with my girlfriend?
Q. Hello, I am 20 year old male and have been in a relationship with another girl for about half a year. Everything is going well, and we're happy together. But... When she's not around I sometimes get really lonely. I see her around 2 or 3 ...
A. 7 September 2009: Well it seems to me that you do love her deeply, and hopefully she feels the same way about you.
The best thing to do is ask her how she feels about you, tell her that you respect her space and you don't want to burden her.
Let her know that yo... (read in full...)
Why doesn't she want anyone to see us being affectionate in public?
Q. I have been dating a woman for over a year, she is a mom of three. Her kids are 17, 20, 25. In the beginning, she would show affection in public, in the car, anywhere with no mind to anyone, thing etc. We even got busy outside her oldest daughters ...
A. 7 September 2009: It seems like she feels ashamed of being affectionate and intimate with you in public. Its a problem that you two can address calmly. Maybe if she felt a little more confident in herself, things would change. The age difference may be a problem for ... (read in full...)
My husband tells his family every detail about our private life. Should I leave him?
Q. My husband of 26 years ago continuously tells everything to his family what happens in our life. Then the family becomes judgmental of our life. This is very humiliating for me. And we don't even live in the same country. They never tell their own ...
A. 7 September 2009: Yes, there's a simple solution. Ask him how many people are in your marriage? Two people or 20 of them. You married him, not his extended family.
That means, if he doesn't stop talking about your private life, then the door seems to be one way ... (read in full...)
His family hates me, is the only solution for him never to see them again?
Q. My bf and I have been together for almost a year and a half. We had both filed for divorces prior to meeting each other due to our spouses infidelity. He has 2 children w/ his ex and had been w/ her since high school (almost 15 years). My ex is ...
A. 7 September 2009: This is so really sad. It appears his ex has been politicking with his family, and they are all manipulating him. He can't see the forest from the trees because, well, he's one of the trees in that family.
But what he needs to see is how mean the... (read in full...)
He's got feelings for another girl, but wants to take things slow with me... help!
Q. Hi there. I have been with my boyfriend for about 15 months. We've had a good relationship, had our ups and downs, but that's normal. Recently he became all distant and after I continuously asked him what was wrong he admitted hes got feeling for ...
A. 7 September 2009: Its very hard for a guy to be honest and torn between you and another girl.
Both of you are young and he's actually got self-doubt working here.
Here's my 2 cents' worth.
I think he's in love with you but he's afraid. The fact that he... (read in full...)
Am I asking for too much?
Q. Are my expections from a relationship too high? Or maybe too low? What I want is, someone who respects me and accepts me for being who I am- conservative, quiet, shy and reserved at times. Someone who accepts my values of wanting to wait for sex ...
A. 7 September 2009: There is a great deal going on in your question so let me see if I can break this down.
1. You have clear and definite boundaries. That is what you are and are not willing to do and you know when you will determine those stages of a relation... (read in full...)
I can't cope with all these new feelings!
Q. Im having mixed feeling about my bf. We knew eachother 3 weeks before we became a couple. Now weve only been a couple for 2 weeks. We clicked from the first minute. And fell for each other before we were an item. He treats me like gold, spoils...
A. 7 September 2009: First of all if you are that lucky to find a man so dedicated to you, as you say -- don't get rid of him yet!
Love's too precious and too hard to find, and finding it with the right person is extremely hard to find.
I think he's used to hav... (read in full...)
My son has admitted that he likes to wear womens clothing, but I have no idea how to deal with this!
Q. Last night my 19-year-old son admitted to us he had a secret which was shocking, but that he needed to get off his chest. We were worried what it was going to be - but his response shocked us. He said he liked wearing women's clothing, explai...
A. 7 September 2009: Unfortunately for you and your husband, this is a real shocker.
However, he loves his mom and dad, and he was totally honest with you. That took a lot of courage and he invested a great deal of trust in you. So in that respect, you should b... (read in full...)
The lack of quality time is putting strain on our relationship!
Q. I am 25, my boyfriend 27. We've known each other 20 months, lived together 10 months. Recently he has been very depressed - unhappy in his job and feeling, in his own words, he lives "a hollow existence". Both his birthday and the death of one of ...
A. 7 September 2009: Hi,
I agree with some of the other posters here. But I have to say this is a situation where he's unhappy with himself.
He needs to try and focus on finding a little bit of happiness inside himself, and you need to focus on weaning him off ... (read in full...)
I feel like a failure in life!
Q. Hi, Please can you help me??? feel like a failure.. and feel like all these things are wrong with me. I am 28 and 29 in Feb, that is almost 30 and have not much in my life, I don't have my own house, car etc. I live in a rented room in a house...
A. 7 September 2009: It seems that you're trying to change the circumstances of your life, and that at the same time you're battling with some self-image problems.
One thing you can work on is self-image and getting respect. If people are not treating you well bec... (read in full...)
Am I too big up top? My partner said I could do with losing a little weight!
Q. Hi, Guys, can I ask you a question I am a size UK 8, I think a US size 6 on my bottom half, my top half is a 34D UK size Is this good, I mean am I too big up top??? 34 D, good size or too much??? as my partner has said maybe I need ...
A. 7 September 2009: If he has to look at your body and can't see right into your heart, then he's a fool. I'd tell him that he gets what he gets, because that's what God gave you.... (read in full...)
I want to find my soulmate and not be hung up on this guy!
Q. Hi I have recently brokem up with a guy whom I have been seeing for the past 2 years. I miss him terribly and desperately want to move on with my life. I am involved in social activities etc and I do meet other guys but the thing is there is j...
A. 7 September 2009: Reading your follow-up comments I see there's two negative connotations going on in there.
First: I assume he's saying life is normal and it goes on NOW that you broke up with him. So you take that as a "slight" or as if he said it to hurt you... (read in full...)
Why didn't sex hurt the first time?
Q. Okay im new to this but i really do neeed advice. My boyfriend we were both virgins when we met.and of course where not anymore.and yuh know the stories i hear about how when you lose your virginity its suppose to hurt! right? well mine didnt.it...
A. 7 September 2009: Its different for everyone. Not all hymens are that big, and some of them get broken and you don't even know when or how.
Traditionally the old wives tale says it hurts a little bit on the first thrust, maybe some blood but then its over.
... (read in full...)
I want to find my soulmate and not be hung up on this guy!
Q. Hi I have recently brokem up with a guy whom I have been seeing for the past 2 years. I miss him terribly and desperately want to move on with my life. I am involved in social activities etc and I do meet other guys but the thing is there is j...
A. 7 September 2009: I partly agree with rhythmandblues2's post with regard to moving on. It seems you are trying desperately to move on.
Yet, at the same time, you miss this man that you were seeing for 2 years.
Its hard to gauge what it was that caused you to br... (read in full...)
Ex boyfriend says he still cares
Q. Hi all, please could you tell me what you think of an ex-boyfriend texting to say he still cares , and wanting to help in a sutuation involving a family member. we've been together 5 years , but split up 6 weeks ago. he was originally driving ...
A. 7 September 2009: This sounds more like a dazed and confused situation. You two need to take things slow and he needs to focus on trying to learn how to treat you right and you him right.
I don't know how old you are, but think of it this way. In life, if we actua... (read in full...)
He says he'll give up the drinking for me
Q. I have recently split up with my partner having been in a relationship for 4 years, we lived together however i have asked him to leave for the second time. The first time i had ended the relationship was due to him drinking and stopping out all ...
A. 6 September 2009: I am so sorry for you. Here's a word of advice.
I used to be a championship sport drinker many years ago. I stopped on my own back in 1993 or so. I never picked up a bottle after that.
The bottom line is that people who drink are not happy in... (read in full...)
Ex won't communicate or be civil with me
Q. Just over 4 months ago my girlfriend and I split up.we had been together for 2 years. For the last couple I thought things were not right but didn't say anything. I was convinced that she had met some else and finished with her. The next day I tried ...
A. 6 September 2009: Women have a way of doing two things the first of which is simply ignoring a guy. Whatever you had, she's over it and you. So she's going to be cold towards you and not really care.
Right now you're just another guy piled up in the ex-bin. ... (read in full...)
I met a lovely man online, but he messaged my friend telling her he wasn't dating! What do I do?
Q. I meet this man online in July. We corresponded through e-mail for a month and then started dating the first week of August. We have been dating for a month now, a few times a week. I really like him and we always have a good time. We are at the ...
A. 6 September 2009: The problem with online dating is simple. You don't know who you're talking to per se, and because of it, a guy can keep his options open. But the same is true for women.
If he's really interested in you, maybe you ought to show him the email yo... (read in full...)
Should my friend get married to her boyfriend who has leukemia?
Q. My friend has recently come to me for advice, and I'm not sure what to say to her. For now, we'll care her Katrina, and her boyfriend, Craig. So, Craig has leukemia and his doctors claim that he has three months to live. Oh, yeah and he's eightee...
A. 6 September 2009: If this is really true it is also extremely cruel for both of them.
First of all the girl is 14 years old. As much as it seems a good and loving gesture to someone who's dying, she's not an adult and the effect of losing someone that young is... (read in full...)
Why is my ex boyfriend reading my emails but not responding?
Q. ex boyfriend of 15 years, that I lived with, dumped me two years ago. I loved him very much! more then i could express in words. he ended up marrying a foreigner. His third marriage. blocked me from his email, won't talk to me. Pretty much disowned ...
A. 6 September 2009: It sounds pretty bad both ways. You want him for whatever reason, and he's reading your emails but maybe he has no interest in responding to them.
It seems to me that the best thing to do is find someone else for your life. 15 years is a very lon... (read in full...)
I am lost and numb to the massive pain underneath, please someone tell me if there is something wrong with me
Q. hello. ive been here a coulpe of times. asked my questions. got great answers. i need just one more. as much as i turn to this site i hope this to be the last time. it is a bit long but please bear with me. i need help. my first real relationship. ...
A. 6 September 2009: That is a massive, gracious plenty of personal tragedy right there.
First of all with your teenage girlfriend. I am so sorry she got killed. There was no way you could've ever known that she would die as a result of you making her drive over to ... (read in full...)
I was lying about who I was and all of sudden he stopped texting me
Q. For the past year and a half i have been texting this guy who is 27 years old. I am 17. the situation is a little messed up because I texted him to ask him some questions about his friend who i liked but then me and this 27 year old guy started ...
A. 6 September 2009: Here's a suggestion to you. If you want to have a strong, loving, emotionally secure relationship. Don't do it in cyberspace.
The only way people can co-exist emotionally and find the right person for them is to be there in person.
Electro... (read in full...)
I'm 26, afraid of women and never had a girlfriend
Q. Hello. I've got something i could do with some advice on and i've not gone on the net about it before so please forgive me if i maybe dont explain this particularly well but i'll give it a shot. Basically i recently turned 26 and i've never had a...
A. 6 September 2009: From what you're saying out loud, you're talking about Gynephobia.
Gynephobia is an irrational fear of women and is often related to some traumatic event in you early life that can be related to emotional or sexual abuse, or a single incident... (read in full...)
How do I get her to talk to me and get over her fears?
Q. I dated my girlfriend for 9 months. The last few months things got rocky, she was jealous of me spending time with my best friend (a girl) and all the rumors that were spread around about it. So she broke up with me, yet she still had very strong ...
A. 6 September 2009: I hate to say this but trust is the cornerstone of every relationship. If she doesn't trust you because your best friend is a female, then she's never going to be comfortable with you.
The other problem is, women who are capable of ignoring... (read in full...)
Should I cut my hair if my friends disagree?
Q. My friends say I shouldn't cut my hair but i think I should what should I do?...
A. 6 September 2009: There's two schools of thought on this one: Go short and bob it, or stay long and get it sexy.
Seriously, its your hair. Just remember if you cut it you have to wait for it to grow back, unless you like wigs.... (read in full...)
Can a woman have sex with her husband and lover without giving anything away?
Q. I'm a guy of 54 years and was happily married for 19 years,there have been no Kids,which is the choice of my 44 year old wife (and mine).About six weeks ago I noticed my wife taking the odd call late at night and walking out of ear shot from me,this ...
A. 5 September 2009: Women have their secret lives. Some of it may involve infidelities, and some may involve emotional infidelities.
She may secretly fantasize about the guy at the gym, come home and give you great sex. She may also be getting great sex from both of ... (read in full...)
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