I love her but am no longer IN LOVE with her
Q. Hello, I am no longer in love with my common-law wife. She had a one night stand with someone early in our relationship during an agreed 10 day "break", and also slept with her ex a couple of times. (Although, I must admit, she left that ex for...
A. 17 September 2009: I feel really terrible for the both of you!
Some time ago, weeks ago, you had asked your question. Now its turmoil and it seems it has degenerated into a battle zone!
This is something that a person has to look at in perspective for ... (read in full...)
If he doesn't want to admit he has cheated, does this mean he can't or won't change?
Q. I have been with my husband for 8 1/2 yrs now, married for nearly 5 and have 2 beautiful children together. My problem is over 2 yrs ago my husband started an affair which lasted for several months. During this time he never admitted that he had the ...
A. 3 September 2009: Its hard to accurately gauge the dynamic with kids involved. Parents want to keep a stable home environment going, and so there's going to be an incentive for him to stay in the marriage and finish raising the kids.
I think you are correct ... (read in full...)
What in the world should I do? My hubby suggested separation. Should I just give up?
Q. I am having a difficult time with my husband of 15 years. We've been together for 18 years, and are best friends. The last year, however, he has been going through what he calls "changes"; We have four children together, and recently, he said he ...
A. 2 September 2009: I know this sounds funky. But maybe you and he ought to go ride the Harley on the weekend, together, and stop somewhere and spend the weekend together. Its a roadtrip.
Maybe that's what he wants. Freedom. Only you could join him and try your bes... (read in full...)
Its been a year since we broke up, but I still cant get over how badly he treated me
Q. I feel kind of stupid still talking about this situation as it has been a year since our break up. I was with this man who hurt me really bad emotionally. He lied and humiliated me. I really loved this man. Anyway fast foward I am living my life but ...
A. 2 September 2009: It seems to me that if he doesn't care now, then he never cared. You had more emotions invested in the relationship than he did.
The best thing you can do is forget about him. People who do things like this are users. And you feel bad because ... (read in full...)
What in the world should I do? My hubby suggested separation. Should I just give up?
Q. I am having a difficult time with my husband of 15 years. We've been together for 18 years, and are best friends. The last year, however, he has been going through what he calls "changes"; We have four children together, and recently, he said he ...
A. 2 September 2009: It seems to me he's under some sort of inordinate stress. You say he's studying for exams and such. You have 4 children together.
There's obviously a lot of pressure on him, and you. This is making things difficult for both of you.
Him mov... (read in full...)
How do I accept my boyfriend is a crossdresser?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year and have lived together for a few months. Recently I found out he was wearing ladies underwear, not because he told me but because I found them. I confronted him about them and he told me h...
A. 2 September 2009: Some men enjoy cross-dressing and probably if you want to handle this thing right, you might want to encourage him to do this with you rather than having him hide in a closet somewhere.
His unemployment is triggering a need to satisfy somethin... (read in full...)
If he doesn't want to admit he has cheated, does this mean he can't or won't change?
Q. I have been with my husband for 8 1/2 yrs now, married for nearly 5 and have 2 beautiful children together. My problem is over 2 yrs ago my husband started an affair which lasted for several months. During this time he never admitted that he had the ...
A. 2 September 2009: He may never want to admit to his philandering. It may have been a one-time thing, and something that he personally regrets.
Perhaps he knows you well enough that if he did admit to it, you would never let him forget it and thereby fail to put i... (read in full...)
Is my husband still interested in me?
Q. Is my husband still intrestid in me? I've been married for 7yr, have 4 kids and dont understand my husband. I mean my husband dosent even ask for sex. I even started to buy sexy lingerie an wear it around for him. Figured I could turn him on, ...
A. 2 September 2009: There is some underlying fear of a fifth child perhaps.
But seriously, when you're younger the pressure is on to make money and support your family. That becomes a number 1 priority. If you have children, they basically wear you down even more.
... (read in full...)
Ex showed up at my work out of nowhere...why?
Q. Well I just have a question really...why would an ex who you havent seen in a long time just show up to your job out of nowhere? So here's the story in a nutshell...I work in a convience store/ gas station and my ex came in to buy beer and gas, ...
A. 2 September 2009: He wants to see you one more time before he walks away for good. In other words, see if he still has any feelings for you at all. Based on what you just told us, you're just another working slag.
That may be good if you never want to see him agai... (read in full...)
Update on text cheating husband...
Q. Hi everyone, This is an update on the situation with my text cheating husband which I posted about a few times. We have recently returned from a cruise which was completely marred by 'her' and spent nearly every day arguing because I kept b...
A. 2 September 2009: This is the unfortunate part of the affair. You are still living in the past. He is trying to move forward with you.
Its not easy for either one of you.
This is also the same thing that happens to couples that lose a child.
If you're going... (read in full...)
What shd I do????
Q. I've been dating this girl for a short amount of time. I used to talk to her everyday if not see her everyday. Things were going great. I don't think that I was smothering her because if I didn't try to see her, she tried to see me. I went on ...
A. 2 September 2009: If you have to rely on facebook to figure out you're in a relationship, then that's sad.
Its also sad that she couldn't call you and tell you her son was sick, or at least take 2 minutes to send you a text or any signal so that you wouldn't... (read in full...)
Help! My boyfriend just can't sleep with me.
Q. I am 21 and my boyfriend is 22. I was best friends with my boyfriend for four years before we started going out, we are madly in love and very happy. There is a lot of passion in our relationship with us both pleasuring each other daily but whenever ...
A. 2 September 2009: Hi there again.
Okay so basically he does not want to have coital sex with you.
It could be disease, or it could be something else. Possibly fear of impregnating you. I think he probably wants to make sure that you're the one to spend the res... (read in full...)
Having an affair and now she wants a baby with me
Q. here is the question i have affair with married woman, but she want to have kid with me , she says it will remain secret , please advise....
A. 2 September 2009: My advice: This will not end well.
I would say that its probably a very bad idea.... (read in full...)
Why would I rather have a bad guy and try to change him, then have a good guy that doesn't have to be changed?
Q. How come after every relationship ends, I say I want a good guy. I want a guy that will finally treat me good, with the respect I know I deserve but how come when a guy like that comes around, then I don't want to take the chance? Why w...
A. 2 September 2009: I don't know how to break this to you, but I am a good guy, and women like you have dumped me all of my life.
The few that have not, have realized that I am not boring. Its just that if you want the excitement, the mystery and the fun with the... (read in full...)
Crazy coincidence left me heartbroken
Q. Hello Well i may be silly but this is a crazy coincidence and now my feelings for him are back again. Last year 2008 i started dating my ex boyfriend on the eleventh of april i remember the date because we went to see a movie we fell inlove wit...
A. 2 September 2009: Well you could read something into it with the coincidences. But I see he is very shy in the commitment department. It seems he gets the intense feelings, cuts and runs.
This is not a good sign.... (read in full...)
I really like him but I just can't trust him...
Q. I met this guy 9 months ago... his 4 years younger then me but i love him a lot. He has told me everything about his previous girlfriend. My ex-boyfriends always cheated on me. Non of my previous boyfriends were faithful with me. Now that im in this ...
A. 2 September 2009: Trust is the foundation of any relationship. Without it you can't be intimate with him, you can't be a part of his life. If you are always doubting him, then he will find it hard to love you.
The problem I see here is that he is not spending... (read in full...)
Help! My boyfriend just can't sleep with me.
Q. I am 21 and my boyfriend is 22. I was best friends with my boyfriend for four years before we started going out, we are madly in love and very happy. There is a lot of passion in our relationship with us both pleasuring each other daily but whenever ...
A. 2 September 2009: When you say "sleep" like going to sleep or actually copulating?
... (read in full...)
Too much in love?
Q. I have been married a little over a year after a divorce from a 35 year marriage. We are both madly in love with each other and spend every minute we can together, we just can't seem to get enough of each other. I moved to a new city to enable ...
A. 1 September 2009: Its not unhealthy to want to spend all of your free time with the person that you are in love with.
I think really her ambivalent feelings might be allayed if she included you with her friends sometimes. Just so you can go out with her. In a way... (read in full...)
Once a cheater always a cheater? Found a phone number in my husbands pocket and called it.
Q. I have no one to talk too,this is how I found this website.I don't know for sure my husband is cheating, found phone number while doing laundry. I called it, it was a female,she did'nt know what to say,one lie after another.turns out she works for ...
A. 1 September 2009: One of the things you can do is simply calm down first. It sounds like right now you are very upset, and because of that you are letting the worst of your fears get to you. I know, its a panic thing setting in.
If this woman works for him, the... (read in full...)
I'm never around for my son, and I cheat on my husband. Am I a bad mother?
Q. Am I a bad mother? Out of my sons 3 years of life iv been gone for 2 years. Im in and out. Im either deployed or in training. The only person he knows is his father who has him. But my relationship is going down the drain too. Iv been gone most of ...
A. 1 September 2009: Unfortunately the military does this to people. First you ought to look at getting counseling for yourself. The military usually does that for you.
The second thing is, I am guessing you don't care much for the father anymore. Is there a way to r... (read in full...)
She says she loves me, but her committment is non-existent...
Q. Give me your thoughts on this one... About 8 months ago, I started dating this girl I have known about 4 years. She gave me the signs she was attracted to me when I first met her. I tried to get her to go out with me at that time, and twice ...
A. 1 September 2009: I think you have a player on your hands. Everything she said she thought about you, well, its exactly what she's about.
She wants to party and hang out with her friends. She wants you to be the nice guy.
But the fact is, she has nothing emot... (read in full...)
My husband hasn't been interested in sex for the last several weeks
Q. Me and my husband have been together since April 2005, married since March 2008. In the last few weeks, well, 6 weeks actually, for the record, he's not been interested in any sex at all. I've tried everything from sexy outfits ordered online...
A. 1 September 2009: You need to sit down with him and seriously tell him that this is affecting your marriage. There has to be a reason why he's not sexually aroused. Whatever it is, he has to know that he can trust you with it.
You have to be willing to do whatever... (read in full...)
Help! I'm worried about smelling "down there"!
Q. help! ive been hooking up with this guy and hes really lovely. but ive never had anything done to be by a guy before (if you know what i mean) and im really paranoid about smelling down there! sorry to be graphic. but i think something might be ...
A. 1 September 2009: Check with a gynecologist on this one. Odors can be caused by diet, infection, or other things.... (read in full...)
I'm worried I might be wasting time on this man, I really want to settle down with him but he seems to be unsure of what he wants!
Q. Dear Aunts, I have been with my boyfriend for over a year now - I am 34, he is 39. Neither of us has children, although he has been married before when he was in his early twenties. Their breakup was amicable, they had grown apart. At the...
A. 1 September 2009: Your situation is not unheard of. Its pretty much commonplace.
Your boyfriend is non-committal at this point. He is ambivalent. He loves you but is he in love with you?
I think you are correct about putting too much into this relationship.
... (read in full...)
Will the guilt over cheating on my girlfriend ever subside?
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for 8 years now and I truly love her. She is the girl of my dreams and she feels the same about me. The thing is I cheated on her about 3 years ago with one of her friends. I really don’t know why I did it as I was ...
A. 1 September 2009: This is one of those mistakes made in life that are best kept hidden and buried.
If you love your woman deeply enough, telling her will only hurt her. She will be angry, and unless she is a very forgiving person, she will hold it over you forever.... (read in full...)
Our relationship has gone stale after only 4 months!
Q. My bf and I have been together since May. Its not a long time, but we really like each other, have similar personalities and have been spending a lot of time together (4-6 nights a week on average) so it feels like we've been together for much much ...
A. 1 September 2009: He needs to spend more time with you, and both of you need to spend time being intimate again.
Intimacy is more than just playing around and engaging in sex. Its real conversation, laughs, and mutual enjoyment.
There is something else g... (read in full...)
How to deal with life when you think your mom is having an affair
Q. i have a very happy family, parents never got into a fight and i know they love each other very much from the way they interacted. i think my mom is having an affair because i don't have a solid evidence on it. i noticed it 3years back. my ...
A. 1 September 2009: Its never easy dealing with subjects like this. But the thing to do is ask your mom nicely if she is having an affair.
But the other thing is this. People have affairs for all sorts of reasons. It could be any number of things or nothing at all. ... (read in full...)
I laugh, I cry, I love just like normal people, so why do I end up unhappy?
Q. im in such a mess. ive posted here before and i cant find the question but i asked about a family problem. i will reexplain it. everything has seemed to get worse since then. its a long story but intersting, so if you cant help me then well, at ...
A. 1 September 2009: So sorry, we thought with your final follow-up you had ended the conversation thread.
Well maybe you can work on trying to get closer to your adoptive parents and see maybe they are warmer today than they were in yesteryear. This is a two-edge... (read in full...)
I want sex all the time!
Q. I first off I know that this is not a medical site but I am too self conscience to ask my doctor about this. I have a bf and we have a great relationship (been daing for 18 months) our sex life is beyond wonderful, but during the last 5 months or ...
A. 1 September 2009: You have a sex addiction. A normal and healthy sexual appetite is one thing. But this is an enormous part of your life and when something interferes with your daily routine and relationships, its an addiction.
This could be caused by excessiv... (read in full...)
How can I get the relationship with my daughter back on track?
Q. I have a 27 year old daughter who left home and does not speak to my husband, myself and my son. She does speak to my twin sister and my sister does not share what is going on in her life and that has made my sister and my relationship rocky. My ...
A. 1 September 2009: There is always a tension between mothers and daughters. I don't know why it is, but as the Chinese say, a woman in a house is a peaceful home, two women in a house is a war.
I think probably your daughter resents something in your past, which is... (read in full...)
Went snooping through all of his things and found stuff from his past - do I have a right to be upset?
Q. I need to know if this is a *me* problem that I should work on personally, or if I need to talk to my boyfriend about it too. I'll apologize for this being so long now. I just have a lot to say about the issue at hand. This morning, I have no i...
A. 1 September 2009: You need to look past his past. In other words, by snooping on him all you are doing is piquing your jealousy.
Jealousy is a destructive and inherently inappropriate emotion. When people get jealous they don't think straight. They end up hurting ... (read in full...)
I'm thinking of ending our relationship because of his lying about porn...what do you think? And how do I block websites like that?
Q. i have been having problems with my fiance , we moved last month and while i was moving his clothes i found a hidden porno in his sweatshirt.. i was more mad that it was hidden and he had told me when we got together he doesnt even like porn .. when ...
A. 31 August 2009: I have to say that you're over-reacting way too much to this.
First of all, maybe instead of making him feel ashamed of himself, thus making him lie to you all of the time; maybe you should indulge him a bit on this.
One exercise you can... (read in full...)
We sneak away to be together, shoud I end this?
Q. I started seeing a guy who was already involved with someone about a few years back. So far, He lives with her and secretly comes over to my place. Lately I feel a built guilty and worried she may find out if this persists. We have been able to ...
A. 31 August 2009: Affairs are difficult. You didn't say whether he was married or not. You implied he was living with this woman.
I don't know what his endgame is here. There are usually 2 kinds of affairs. Ones that are in fact meaningful and significant, and othe... (read in full...)
Suddenly wife is changing both physically and mentally?
Q. I'm 30, and married with a 5-year-old son from a previous relationship (the mother walked out on him a year after he was born, and not seen him since). I've been married for 3 years now, and suddenly my wife has developed a personality chan...
A. 31 August 2009: This is the tipping point. Just serve the divorce papers and move on with your son. It sounds like your wife has developed an entirely new lifestyle which does not include her family.
You are better off under this scenario. Your best bet is to mo... (read in full...)
My partner is in love with someone else
Q. This is so hard I broke u with my Patner last week we were really happy but I found out that he is love with his best friend and that he has been mailing her and wants to be with her but is unble to because he lives thousands of miles away and she ...
A. 31 August 2009: First of all booze never fixes heartbreak. It adds to it and creates unhappiness.
Your partner is torn. You have the home advantage. He is in your court not the other woman's court.
Spend time with him and be good to him. Make him see that he ... (read in full...)
Marriage-I wake up every morning thinking I made a big mistake
Q. Hi everyone, OK - here is my question. I've been married for two years -- through the engagement, I thought about breaking things off multiple times. Now I wake up almost every morning thinking: I made a big mistake. There are several probl...
A. 31 August 2009: You need to address this head-on with your wife. That is that she is controlling your sexual organs and she is not being freely intimate with you.
You cannot have a marriage with all of the attributes of a friendship and no sexuality, or worse ye... (read in full...)
B/f convinced he's not the one for me anymore
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years for the first couple of years we got on great we never had a crossed word and we fell deeply in love with each other. But for the last year our relationship has been very up and down and my boyfriend belives ...
A. 31 August 2009: You can't convince him. He has to know for himself.
I am concerned that he is sliding back and forth on the issue. The one thing I hate to hear from someone that I truly love are words like "I don't deserve you" and so forth. When I hear that, I ... (read in full...)
I'm 46 and want to be more than a girlfriend!
Q. I am not a young woman, I'm a 46 year old who has been dating a 52 year old man for 3 years now. I'm divorced and his wife passed away. I want marriage but he doesn't. I have an 18 year old son who lives with me and my boyfriend wants to wait til ...
A. 31 August 2009: I am so sorry that your boyfriend feels the way he does. You said his wife passed away. Does he still miss her? This could be the real reason why he's unwilling to be committed to a new marriage.
When you get to midlife and you suffer a loss of ... (read in full...)
I love my husband but our sex life is dull! Can I really last a lifetime of this?
Q. Me and my husband have been married for just over a year and have been together since we were 16. We were each others firsts and used to really ennjoy sex. However, recently (past 4-5 months) I have found that our sex life is almost non existant. My ...
A. 30 August 2009: You need to talk to him seriously and tell him that a marriage without intimacy is unworkable. You need sex and actual love making. Physical and emotional intimacy are basically the cornerstone of the marriage bonding process. Without that, yo... (read in full...)
After girlfriend's seizure I'm not myself, is this normal?
Q. I'll just get right to it, I'm 16 and I can't masterbate anymore. My girlfriend has this problem that causes her to have seizures. It is now 8/30/09 and she had her first seizure since we've been dating on 8/27/09 I guess that's only 3 days but I ...
A. 30 August 2009: You have finally realized that you care about another human being. Your mind won't let you get horny because you think you may have been the cause of her seizure. It also says you care about her. I would say if you spend more time with her, an... (read in full...)
I love her but am no longer IN LOVE with her
Q. Hello, I am no longer in love with my common-law wife. She had a one night stand with someone early in our relationship during an agreed 10 day "break", and also slept with her ex a couple of times. (Although, I must admit, she left that ex for...
A. 30 August 2009: This is called the ennui. You reach a point in your relationship where things are comfortable but you feel something is missing. The reason why you're looking is exactly the reason you keep bringing up the past. You and she are a few years di... (read in full...)
He's with a girl he cheated on me with, but I want to look past it and try again
Q. me and this guy have been together for seven months he alway use to say i fuss to much when we broke up we were still seeing each other over the summer and i just found out he was dating this girl i use to hear people say he talked to when we were ...
A. 30 August 2009: First of all if you broke up and he dated someone else, that's not cheating.
Second, you can forgive but the real question here is whether you want to trust him. If you can't trust him then you're not going to be happy.
It seems to me that... (read in full...)
I'm willing to forgive his faults: can this marriage be saved?
Q. I have myself in a bit of a predicament. I have three children and have been married for 14 years. Like all marriages ours have had its ups and downs. We were married young. I was 18 and he was 19. Neither of us had been in a serious ...
A. 30 August 2009: This is truly tragic. The victims in this circumstance are you and the children.
Your husband has gotten you involved in a difficult relationship.
It is possible to love many people at once. And it is possible to be in love with many people... (read in full...)
When asked what is wrong, all husband will say is "Nothing"
Q. what would likely b the cause for this,he is very confusing,and i do get a lot of mixed message's also he has never been physical abusive. this is one of the extreme's.Description: if your husband never seemed attracted to u in any way,no sex,wont...
A. 30 August 2009: He's not in love with you. I think he may care about you. But the personal insults and emotional abuse tell a different story.
I think its time to leave and start a new life with someone who does ultimately want you with him.... (read in full...)
I laugh, I cry, I love just like normal people, so why do I end up unhappy?
Q. im in such a mess. ive posted here before and i cant find the question but i asked about a family problem. i will reexplain it. everything has seemed to get worse since then. its a long story but intersting, so if you cant help me then well, at ...
A. 29 August 2009: I feel terrible for you. I can only empathize.
Here is a solid suggestion, as I know its hard to understand this.
First of all, your bi-polar brother is mentally ill. Its unfortunate but true that the mentally ill do and say things they woul... (read in full...)
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