Can a woman have sex with her husband and lover without giving anything away?
Q. I'm a guy of 54 years and was happily married for 19 years,there have been no Kids,which is the choice of my 44 year old wife (and mine).About six weeks ago I noticed my wife taking the odd call late at night and walking out of ear shot from me,this ...
A. 16 October 2009: Tom with all the best intentions I think your wife has crapped the marriage terribly.
I had thought for certain she'd have stayed with GG and made him crazy till he'd thrown her out. Now she's living in a trailer (yes a caravan but here we call ... (read in full...)
Can a woman have sex with her husband and lover without giving anything away?
Q. I'm a guy of 54 years and was happily married for 19 years,there have been no Kids,which is the choice of my 44 year old wife (and mine).About six weeks ago I noticed my wife taking the odd call late at night and walking out of ear shot from me,this ...
A. 22 September 2009: Tom, sadly you have the blessings of wealth; the blessings of good physical health; and unfortunately the curse of a woman who cannot love you and you alone.
The good news is that you will find someone better than her. You have everything in you t... (read in full...)
He cheated..She told me..He's trying to be a better bf
Q. Now I posted this once with a few replies, however a few questions are on my mind that I need advice on... here's the story once again, I'll ask my questions at the end. Story: I met my boyfriend online a few years ago, but we didn't fall for ...
A. 11 September 2009: I think he didn't intend to cheat on you. I used to drink heavily and quit many years ago; and I can tell you that drunk guys can do a lot of amazing things even though they shouldn't.... (read in full...)
Found a great guy but cant open up to him. Any advice?
Q. What do I say to him? Where do I go with this? I met this guy about a month ago. We went out for coffee and on the first date we clicked instantly. He's actually everything I've been looking for; smart, funny, handsome, a great listener and ver...
A. 11 September 2009: You need to take your time with him and he has to be patient.
One thing he needs to understand, and you have to explain to him is that you've been in other relationships where you suffered infidelities.
Make sure you make it clear to him tha... (read in full...)
He cheated..She told me..He's trying to be a better bf
Q. Now I posted this once with a few replies, however a few questions are on my mind that I need advice on... here's the story once again, I'll ask my questions at the end. Story: I met my boyfriend online a few years ago, but we didn't fall for ...
A. 11 September 2009: First of all I really feel bad for you. You're angry and your insecure and you're looking at phone bills to relive this whole trauma. You're in a lot of pain over it.
He needs to help you get over this and spend time trying to love you and hope... (read in full...)
My boyfriend does'nt find the time to spend with me
Q. I need a solution to a reoccurring problem with my boyfriend. Often when I have free time, I will go over to his place and spend time with him. I will get there and he is often multi-tasking. He is a single father so I understand when he has to ...
A. 10 September 2009: You're not overreacting or being needy. You want what normal people want. You want his attention. Here's what you can try to do to help that along. First of all you need to sit down with him, and get his full attention. Cup your hands gently... (read in full...)
Will I have control on cocaine?
Q. I have always wanted to try having sex on cocaine and my boyfriend scored some and we'll be getting busy on coke this weekend. The thing is that I don't want to lose all control of my actions. I smoke pot occasionally and it stimulates my se...
A. 10 September 2009: I would not recommend having sex on coke. Back in the late 70's and early 80's all it did was make people want to have sex and not be able to enjoy it. Nowadays who knows what kind of crap is cut into the coke. Back then they stepped on it wi... (read in full...)
Why didn't he open up to me when I opened up to him?
Q. Ok so I was in a relationship for 3 years with this guy who would always cheat and I would always forgive him. Finally I had enough when we moved to another state. I started seeing this guy(Guy1)behind his back so we broke up. This guy turned out to ...
A. 10 September 2009: I know what I'm saying down below might seem harsh. But I'm saying it to you because I think its important.
Okay to start this off, I'm going to go with the last two sentences and work backwards.
I think Guy 2 was either (1) afraid to tell y... (read in full...)
He has been separated from his wife for 20 years, but still is unsure about divorce.
Q. I'm dating my polar opposite. He's swedish, I'm american, he's 62, I'm 30, he's an engineer and I'm an artist that can't seem to hold a job. He's been married for going on 40 years which isn't quite as bad as it sounds as they've been seperated for ...
A. 10 September 2009: I would have to say you need to look into your heart and determine what it is that you truly want for your life.
The man you're attracted to is twice your age. He has a long family history with his estranged wife. I am guessing that a divorce ... (read in full...)
Why do I feel guilty about having fun sex?
Q. I'm a 19 year old girl and came out of a 2 and half year relationship in about May of this year. The other night I spent the night with a guy I have known about a week, he is a friend of a friend. We get on really well and he's great and good ...
A. 10 September 2009: I don't see anything harmful in enjoying good sex. I think you're feeling guilty about it not being emotionally based sex. I think it just filled a little void before you move away.
Try not to feel ashamed of yourself and don't judge yourself... (read in full...)
I'm very worried because in my dream I was lesbian!
Q. About a month ago now i had a dream i was a lesbian, before that I was perfectly straight. Now i'm really confused about my sexuality. I have a boyfriend but now i just don't know; i feel really happy when i'm around him and i really love him. But ...
A. 10 September 2009: Never think that you should not exist! You're obsessing over a dream and going through teenage angst.
Most people when they get into their teen years feel the kind of confusion you're going through. Everything seems confusing and you're disorien... (read in full...)
I don't want him to notice or talk about big boobs, mines are small!
Q. ok so im 18...and I wear a 34 A.. im beautiful yes but im so self concious.. I wish I at least had a B. my mom had smaller boobs than me all the way up til she was 30 then she got a boob job but i hate wen my boyfriend is around his friends they all ...
A. 10 September 2009: You shouldn't be so self-conscious about your body. To me its not a woman's bra size, its who I see inside.
Everyone is different. But the first thing you should always do is be confident in yourself.
Now as far as your boyfriend is con... (read in full...)
Do I have a chance of winning this guy away from his fiance?
Q. Right, so my question is fairly straight to the point - do I have any chance of winning back this guy from his fiancee? Allow me to elaborate. I am in my mid twenties and for a couple of months (2007) dated an awesome guy that I fell madly in lo...
A. 10 September 2009: This is the part where I have to say you have every advantage in the world to be happy with anyone else. You say you have above-average looks. It seems to me that you enjoy your life, which means you're probably happy and secure in your own right. ... (read in full...)
How do I stop telling the world every detail of my life?
Q. My problem.... I must not email/text everyone over every detail and tell world my news.. Not good It is like I can’t deal with my emotions, and so I have to air them to everyone else, then I say something and then feel bad, guilty or conflic...
A. 10 September 2009: You're using your Blackberry or whatever device that you have, as an instant thought process. As in "did I just say that out loud?"
Seriously, try and put the electronic media down. There's a big happy world out there where you can enjoy realtime... (read in full...)
Husband who lies and gambles
Q. I am so confused as what to do with my marriage. My husband and I dated for about over 3 years before we got married. We moved in together after a year of dating. After a couple of years I started noticing that our bills weren't being payed on time ...
A. 10 September 2009: I am so sorry for your grief! Gambling like all other addictions is a serious problem.
All addicts are far too self-absorbed in their addiction to care or even reach out for help.
You're experiencing what amounts to the exact situation as if ... (read in full...)
My husband had an affair -- shouldn't I be putting some distance between us while I sort out my feelings?
Q. We've been married 17 years. My husband had an on/off again affair with a married woman for 3 years. I found out about it. He told had already decided to break it off because it was hurting him. I was in shock at first, screamed, cried, wanted ...
A. 10 September 2009: We're all pulling for you.
Your husband seems to be working on being a better man for you, and I think you and he know that you're his number 1 top priority in life. I think, with a little more work together you and your husband will be very hap... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to want to hurt him the way he has hurt me?
Q. My current situation is the most difficult one Ive ever had to face. I know it may be difficult for some to understand why a person such as myself chooses to stay involved but please bare with me. Well Ive been in my current relationship for near...
A. 10 September 2009: This is one of those sad situations where you are involved with a man who's the wrong person for your life.
From everything you wrote, you have been kind, forgiving, loving and attentive to him. He, on the other hand, has ignored all of these ge... (read in full...)
Am I being too sensitive?
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for 3 months and this is by far the best relationship I have ever had (and that includes two failed marriages). We are very much in love. The problem is she has gone away for a skiing holiday with her girlfriends for a ...
A. 10 September 2009: Bobby,
Don't be short with her. She's thinking about you while she's away and she probably does miss you.
When she gets back, just look at her and smile and be very good to her that's all.... (read in full...)
She can only orgasm through the shower
Q. My girlfriend can only orgasm using the shower, she's unable to make herself orgasm either through masturbation and while oral sex brings her to the edge it never goes all the way through. She enjoys sex but gets frustrated by it all. Any ideas...
A. 10 September 2009: Unfortunately a woman can only find certain ways that give her the right kind of stimulation to release an orgasm.
Bidets are good for that too. I think its probably the combination of the right water pressure and the use of water itself that bri... (read in full...)
I'd like to give him a romantic surprise to make up for our lost time
Q. Ok so i need some ideas and was wondering if anyone can help. I am away at college and will be going home for Christmas and was wondering what i should do or give to the love of my life. We have been together as a couple for only five months but ...
A. 9 September 2009: It all depends on what kind of surprise you want to give him.
One of the best things in a relationship is discovering and experiencing something new together. Perhaps there's something he's wanted to do and you could maybe put that in action f... (read in full...)
Can a woman have sex with her husband and lover without giving anything away?
Q. I'm a guy of 54 years and was happily married for 19 years,there have been no Kids,which is the choice of my 44 year old wife (and mine).About six weeks ago I noticed my wife taking the odd call late at night and walking out of ear shot from me,this ...
A. 9 September 2009: Tom,
I think its very hard for your wife to ever explain what went wrong in your marriage. Maybe nothing went wrong and she snapped and fell for an affair merely out of personal boredom.
I know that when women hit menopause or have their own m... (read in full...)
When I asked if we'd marry he broke up with me saying he couldn't commit!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years and we were about to buy a house together however when I asked if he will ever marry me he has ended our relationship as he said he can not commit. Will he ever come back to me?...
A. 9 September 2009: No one can say if he'll ever come back to you. Was it his idea to purchase the home, or yours?
Maybe he's just skittish or he's just a commitment-phobe. Some guys just cannot commit for their lives. Others, if they're secure knowing that a woman ... (read in full...)
Sweet without being too sweet?
Q. How can you say sweet sentiments without being too sweet? It gets to a point where I feel like I sound like a really bad romantic novel....
A. 9 September 2009: No one can say. To me when a woman is being sweet to me, and loving, its a wonderful feeling.
But other guys might take sweetness to be too feminine for their tastes. You just have to take it for what its worth, feel out the boundaries and mayb... (read in full...)
My husband had an affair -- shouldn't I be putting some distance between us while I sort out my feelings?
Q. We've been married 17 years. My husband had an on/off again affair with a married woman for 3 years. I found out about it. He told had already decided to break it off because it was hurting him. I was in shock at first, screamed, cried, wanted ...
A. 9 September 2009: He is trying to build trust with you again, and build intimacy. He's working to repair your marriage and rebuild your relationship.
From what he's said, the affair hurt him deeply and he loves you very much. He regrets it very much.
The las... (read in full...)
Ex wants to be friends after our break up but does he mean it?
Q. my boyfriend of just about 2 years broke up with me about a week ago. no matter what i do, i just can't seem to get over him. when he broke up with me, he said it was because he couldn't see himself with me in the future and because we have nothing ...
A. 9 September 2009: You're relying on the grapevine, telegraph and rumor mill.
If you want to know directly, ask him.
Perhaps he was trying to be kind, and still be there for you to help you through the pain you're suffering. I think he cares for you and he proba... (read in full...)
I'm scared I'm going to be held back from life because of my anxiety! What should I do?
Q. This is pretty long... I'm 16 and I've never been in a proper relationship with anyone..boys or girls in my case. I've always been very introverted and in my own world..and whats more i have generalised stress disorder, which is pretty common b...
A. 9 September 2009: This is what they sometimes call an "avoidant" behavior and its part of your stress disorder.
I am so sorry you were self-cutting or self-hurting and especially feel empathetic to your situation. You need to be very patient and gentle with you... (read in full...)
My sister is having an affair. Should I tell her lovers wife.
Q. My sister has been having an affair for over a year now. They are both married although only content in their marriages. I want to reveal the affair to his wife but do not want to reveal my sister's identity because she has young children in the ...
A. 9 September 2009: This is one place where you have no business interfering directly.
The only intervention you have is to address this issue with your sister. Not other people.
Even then, discretion is the better part of it.
Otherwise, when you s... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has unresolved issues with his ex-fiancee!
Q. I've been seeing this guy for six months and I really love him. He's been hesitant to fully commit to me so I confronted him about it. He always tells me he loves me and cares about me a lot. He said he hasn't been able to commit because he has ...
A. 9 September 2009: It seems that he is very emotionally attached to you, based on what you said:
"...he's been pretty gentle with me, asking how I am, how I slept, if anything's bothering me, and if I want to talk about it. So in a sence (sic) he's been taking c... (read in full...)
She told me she wanted to be with me again, but then had a one-night stand.
Q. My mind is torn. I have dated a girl for three years. I went through a lot and was emotionally closed off for a long time. She finally reached her breaking point and left. It took her leaving me to realize the dark place I was in. While ...
A. 9 September 2009: Although Lola1 makes some valid points, let me look at this from a different perspective.
I can see where you were at. So let me give some advice to help you regain the trust in and hopefully your relationship with your girlfriend.
First o... (read in full...)
My question is regarding a male friend of both myself and my wife, who is also an ex-boyfriend of my wife's.
Q. My question is regarding a male friend of both myself and my wife, who is also an ex-boyfriend of my wife's. Before I get all the advice about not having an ex-bf around at all, his former best friend (I'm now his best friend) introduced my wife and...
A. 9 September 2009: I think Bob's spending far too much time at your house. Doesn't he have a place of his own?
Anyway, okay I think maybe Bob probably didn't belong in your master bath anyway. But to make it short and to the point, nudity isn't the problem here. I ... (read in full...)
Should I encourage her to keep her options open or just stay out of it?
Q. A friend of mine has been with her boyfriend for a long time. She loves him and he loves her. They have issues though. I've told her they will never change because he is unwilling to change the drinking addiction he has. He is also unemployed ...
A. 9 September 2009: Drinking is a terrible addiction. No one can be happy when they drink and your friend's boyfriend needs help.
He's not looking for a job because he's drinking. And he's never going to be able to attract employment if he has alcohol on his breath. ... (read in full...)
I'm making myself sick over this... please help!
Q. I'm new here so hope I don't sound toO crazy. I do love my husband but the things I have found out and the lies ARE about toO much, my first marriage I put up with more than I should have and said I would never let another man hurt me again and I ...
A. 9 September 2009: I'm not sure what to say. I am guessing that your current husband has been doing things (don't know what exactly) that have hurt you, and he's lied about them.
I think also that what you're going through is bringing back negative memories from you... (read in full...)
I am seeing a wonderful man... so why am I so insecure?
Q. Hello, I am seeing a wonderful man, he is full of compliments and hugs and makes me feel great. So, why am I so insecure? He has a LIFE! lol.. he goes and does and stays busy and I sit and worry and am so afraid this wonderful thing we have ...
A. 9 September 2009: The one thing that comes to mind is that if he has a life, then why isn't he sharing it with you? Why aren't you out there with him enjoying it rather than sitting at home fretting that its going to end?
If he does things and stays busy, isn't th... (read in full...)
How can I be strong about this and move on?
Q. did i do wrong in looking in my boyfriends phone? i looked at his text messages.. he texted this one chick i always thought he was screwing around with. told her to get some rubbers, im speechless. i dont wanna think about it. im the saddest girl on ...
A. 9 September 2009: I am so sorry for what you're going through. Its not fair for him to take your dream (as in being with him) and give it to a strange woman who has nothing invested in him emotionally.
I think if he were man enough to admit that he did cheat on... (read in full...)
I feel as though my life is at a stand-still. Please help!
Q. Please Help, I am 20 years old and have recently bought a house with my boyfriend of two and a half years which we moved into May 2009. Although I was over excited at the time I regret the decision I made with a vengeance. I feel like when I reac...
A. 9 September 2009: When you have doubts, those doubts are generated from one of two places: (1) your intuition or (2) your ego.
What I am seeing here is that you got to achieve one dream, and now you fear you have to let go another.
Part of your dilemma is that ... (read in full...)
Will writing my feelings down help me get over my ex or will it bring back all the memories?
Q. My ex-girlfriend broke up with me about 3 months ago and I'm still getting over it. I'm wondering if writing things down will either help me get over it (by letting some stuff out on the paper) or it will make me reminisce and think about all ...
A. 9 September 2009: It seems there was a lot going on there with your ex girlfriend and this seems to have been a real heartbreaker. Klara's advice was pretty good actually. Write it down, anything, keep it private and then burn it all at the end.
The reason why she'... (read in full...)
I want him to WANT to spend time with me, not because I forced him to do it
Q. my boyfriend and i have been going out for a year and a half now. once the end of the year comes, we'll be going to different countries to study uni and we have both decided that we have to go our seperate ways. we're both 18. the problem is, i ...
A. 9 September 2009: He's trying to protect himself from the impending loss. You have so many doubts about culture clashes. And you're both suffering over this situation. Only he's trying to hide it by spending less time with you, so you can get over him.
If you coul... (read in full...)
Should I tell my ex boyfriend I am having worries after we slept together or should I just ignore them?
Q. Me and my boyfriend of 2 years split up around 3 weeks ago due to stupid things and my boyfriend feeling like he was under pressure from other sources. We have stayed in contact and over various discussions he has told me that what he did was a ...
A. 9 September 2009: The answer is right there in your question: "our attitude towards each other is ten times better than it ever was."
That says it right there. You two suffered some pain of separation and realized how much better you are together.
Cuddling and ... (read in full...)
How should I deal with my situation?
Q. Please, no judgment. All I want is a sympathetic advice. I met this man 3 years ago, and it was a love from first glance. Our situation is:he is single, divorced 12 years ago, never got remarried, i am married my wholle life to a wonderfull man, we h...
A. 9 September 2009: Jane you're right. There were one or two remarks here and there. But there are few "judgers" here. Most everyone tried to answer your question and offer the best possible advice they could think of -- given what you wrote.
We're all thinking... (read in full...)
How do I help my husband relax?
Q. I'm 47 and my husband is 45. He took leave from his job yesterday in disgust along with 2 other colleagues, after hearing some other colleagues laughing and joking about "let's cause another Enron scandal". My husband is worried that another ...
A. 9 September 2009: Be kind to him and help him find suitable employment. Take the time to care for him and spend more time giving him support, affection and talking to him.
As far as Enron, it was a scam in the US. People went to prison, balance sheets were faked; b... (read in full...)
What does she mean by slow?
Q. My girlfriend told me she wanted to take things slow and I wanted a few opinions from other women on what that means. I've been dating my girlfriend for almost two months and we haven't done anything sexually intimate other than kissing and making ...
A. 9 September 2009: That means she wants to see who you are really, and wants to see what kind of character you have. If she's convinced you're the right guy, she's probably going to tell you that she wants your body.
But she's the one in control of that issue, a... (read in full...)
Cheating girlfriend what do I do
Q. i recently completly broke up with my son's mother that was with for about 3 years. i found out she cheated on me. i had a feeling something was going wrong with our relationship when she started going out to the bars with her single friends. i ...
A. 9 September 2009: First, try not to be bitter, hateful or vengeful.
If she's actually doing this, then there's something going on. Either she's got a problem with you, and she never said anything, or she's going through some sort of bad girl phase and there's ... (read in full...)
Am I actually squirting?
Q. Hello all I have been searching about squirting during sex. I played with myself with a toy. When I felt that pressure like I had to pee I was told to push with my muscles. So I did well needless to say warm liquid came out and even though it didnt ...
A. 9 September 2009: Yeah. I'd say. I've been down there with my lady before and frankly, it wasn't urine. It was actually quite pleasant. And oral happens to be one of my favorites.... (read in full...)
Am I being too sensitive?
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for 3 months and this is by far the best relationship I have ever had (and that includes two failed marriages). We are very much in love. The problem is she has gone away for a skiing holiday with her girlfriends for a ...
A. 9 September 2009: Don't let your insecurities and fears get ahold of you. That's your ego screaming at you. That immature, self-absorbed screaming lunatic inside your head that can't shut up all day.
Try calming down. Ignore that background noise.
Here's what s... (read in full...)
How should I deal with my situation?
Q. Please, no judgment. All I want is a sympathetic advice. I met this man 3 years ago, and it was a love from first glance. Our situation is:he is single, divorced 12 years ago, never got remarried, i am married my wholle life to a wonderfull man, we h...
A. 8 September 2009: I think you need to leave him and start shopping at home. In other words, just cut the guy off permanently. He's making you miserable and you're tired of him. Put it this way, he was a playmate, not an intimate future interest.
You say your hus... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has unresolved issues with his ex-fiancee!
Q. I've been seeing this guy for six months and I really love him. He's been hesitant to fully commit to me so I confronted him about it. He always tells me he loves me and cares about me a lot. He said he hasn't been able to commit because he has ...
A. 8 September 2009: Your boyfriend is conflicted here because of all sorts of issues concerning his ex's family and his still deep, lingering feelings for his ex.
He seems to be trying, but not yet striving.
Let me suggest this. You're correct in being patient wi... (read in full...)
Can a woman have sex with her husband and lover without giving anything away?
Q. I'm a guy of 54 years and was happily married for 19 years,there have been no Kids,which is the choice of my 44 year old wife (and mine).About six weeks ago I noticed my wife taking the odd call late at night and walking out of ear shot from me,this ...
A. 8 September 2009: Tom,
You needn't worry. Let your lawyers handle it. I'm sure whenever she attempts to return to an empty home with new locks on the doors, she'll get the message.
... (read in full...)
Can a woman have sex with her husband and lover without giving anything away?
Q. I'm a guy of 54 years and was happily married for 19 years,there have been no Kids,which is the choice of my 44 year old wife (and mine).About six weeks ago I noticed my wife taking the odd call late at night and walking out of ear shot from me,this ...
A. 5 September 2009: Women have their secret lives. Some of it may involve infidelities, and some may involve emotional infidelities.
She may secretly fantasize about the guy at the gym, come home and give you great sex. She may also be getting great sex from both of ... (read in full...)
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