Do you follow your head or your heart?
Q. I am married to a wonderful man. He is smart, kind, has a good job, and is a hard worker. In fact, I love him - but only as a friend. I don't want a physical relationship with him at all. I have told him I want a separation, but I am not sure if ...
A. 21 September 2009: I am so sorry then. Well it seems that you liked this man, but if you were never really in love with him, other than as a friend; then it might do well to separate from him.
I won't belabor the other issue about the motives for marriage. But it s... (read in full...)
I just cannot make him cum!
Q. I cant seem to make my boyfriend cum. I have literally sat for hours going down and giving him hand jobs but he wont cum. I'm beginning to feel like theres something wrong with me!...
A. 16 September 2009: Congratulations! The gipper came through.... (read in full...)
Husband told me he liked small breasts now he tells me that mine are too small!
Q. Hi guys, I have never had problem with my breast,I have always liked small breast,and i have even been asking god I hope they never grow and they always stay small. before I get married I asked my husband if he likes small breast or big one.his a...
A. 14 September 2009: I see what you're saying. Unfortunately he needs to grow up a bit, start taking care of his body and start worshiping your body as it is rather than what he jokes about. In other words, learn how to make love with you instead of be mean.
This ... (read in full...)
He ignored, cheated and still ignored
Q. Sorry this is long, its just i really need advice: My bf and I had been together nearly 2 years and we lived together for a year and half. Exactly 6 months ago he had to move bk to the US from UK and ended up getting a job in Aspen. Everythin...
A. 14 September 2009: Lady London, I think he was the loser here. It seems to me that he had a woman that was willing to wait for him, supported his decisions, and was ready to relocate to another country to be with him. That says a lot.
If he can't man up to sending ... (read in full...)
Am I stupid for thinking he will leave his long term girlfriend and get back with me?
Q. My ex boyfriend and i have only been together for about 5 months... then about 4 months ago we broke up and he started dating his ex girlfriend he was with for about 3 years before me...even though he did not admit it to me until i found out from ...
A. 14 September 2009: No. You're not stupid. The problem is you love him and he loves you. And he's still seeing an ex that he broke up with years ago.
You're ex boyfriend is living in a captain's paradise. He has two women who love him, and he doesn't want to choose. ... (read in full...)
Do you follow your head or your heart?
Q. I am married to a wonderful man. He is smart, kind, has a good job, and is a hard worker. In fact, I love him - but only as a friend. I don't want a physical relationship with him at all. I have told him I want a separation, but I am not sure if ...
A. 14 September 2009: Its hard to say in this case. At the age bracket you're in, many women feel like their the old brown shoe in the marriage.
The real issue is why is he not physically attractive to you? If you love him then why isn't there a deeper emotiona... (read in full...)
I'm scared I won't find anyone to be with!
Q. I am 25 and at the stage where I am afraid I wont find a partner to spend my life with. I have been in four relationships, the first 3 I ended because I dind't see myself with the person and the last 1 broke my heart. Finally when ive been through ...
A. 14 September 2009: First of all I am so sorry that you're going through this hurt. I know what its like to be frustrated and feel empty by someone you love who's walked away. There's a great deal of pain there, and you have to let it out and let it go.
It seems th... (read in full...)
He ignored, cheated and still ignored
Q. Sorry this is long, its just i really need advice: My bf and I had been together nearly 2 years and we lived together for a year and half. Exactly 6 months ago he had to move bk to the US from UK and ended up getting a job in Aspen. Everythin...
A. 14 September 2009: Too many people lead online relationships. Distance is a hassle for everyone involved.
I am so sorry for what you've gone through. In some cases distance makes the heart grow fonder; in other cases it just makes guys distant.
This is the p... (read in full...)
He says he wants a break. Does that mean I should move on?
Q. Hi ..I am so confused right now.What does a break mean? I have been dating my boyfriend for 10 mons now.We have spent every weekend together since.he is very active in my kids life.Past 2 weeks we have been a bit distant.So I did a little snooping ...
A. 13 September 2009: First off I have to say telling him you were snooping on him really didn't help. But you could try and explain to him that you did this because you were really worried something was wrong with him. If he knows you really do love him, or care deeply ... (read in full...)
Was he just keeping me warm, or does he like me?
Q. had a sleepover at my friend's house (lots of girls + guys sleeping in a big tent in her garden) her twin bro was there im good friends with him but nothing more but i was sleeping next to him + was shivering and he was SO nice like got me loads of ...
A. 13 September 2009: It sounds to me like he took a shine to you. He also sounds like he's a very kind and gentle kid.
If you felt an attraction to him, then there's nothing wrong with being friends. It sounds to me like a soft touch (excuse the pun) just did the tric... (read in full...)
Should I give her another chance, even though she has lied to me?
Q. Okay so ill make this as easy as possible to understand. Im 18, and my current girlfriend is 17. we dated for about one year and then had a nasty breakup. Hours after I broke up with her, I was calling and texting saying I was sorry and that I ...
A. 13 September 2009: Okay this one's going to take a lot of work on your part. So the answer is very long.
First, you need to think of your girlfriend first and not yourself. Love means you're committed to someone and that their well being comes first before your own... (read in full...)
How do you get over someone you truely love?
Q. How do you get over someone you truely love, and have loved for more years than you can remember? I am in love with this wonderful man, but due to circumstances, I doubt we will ever be together. My heart aches for him, he makes me laugh, smile ...
A. 13 September 2009: It takes time to find someone else to fill the void.
I don't know what to tell you. I can't be with the woman I love deeply as my profile says.
There's no easy solution for this one. You just have to keep searching until you find someone els... (read in full...)
One minute everything was great, the next I had lost the person I love most in the whole world. How do you get over that?
Q. So right now I feel like an utter mess and am not sure how to deal with it. Could use some advice. Here's the story: I have had the most amazing year with my first love (who I was close friends with for 6 months first as well) and I love so many t...
A. 13 September 2009: He's confused because he's torn between staying with you, and going out to the world and seeing what's there first.
The cure for this is give him some space. Or, alternatively, go with him wherever he chooses to go. But I would caution that tho... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for me to want more from my wife sexually?
Q. Dear All, My wife and I have been married for 20 years have a great family, work hard. I love my wife very much, bu I have been very depressed and want more from our sex life. When it comes to iniating sex, I am the one to do it, and when I d...
A. 13 September 2009: Part of the problem is that your wife has a great deal of reservations about the kind of sex you want. It seems pretty clear that what you crave is not out of the mainstream.
I would suggest maybe this much. Sexual exploration starts with a great ... (read in full...)
I cheated on my wife when we first got married. Will counselling be enough to help us?
Q. I cheated on my wife, when we first got married. We only dated for 2 months before getting married, so we definitely got married to quickly. It has been almost 2 years since then, and I know that I love her more than anything, and she is still ...
A. 13 September 2009: I'm assuming that she found out about this after the fact.
The only thing you can do with her is to constantly reassure her that this was a one-time thing.
One thing you can do, which is a trust issue, is sit down with her and affectionately a... (read in full...)
He's a really big guy...but not so big "down there". Why might this be?
Q. my boyfriend turned 18 back in july and we got together about 2 weeks after his birthday. we had sex about a month into it. he is a really big guy (6'4" 220 lbs.) so i suppose i was expecting him to be pretty "well endowed". i was wrong. hes only ...
A. 13 September 2009: It happens. Get it bigger? Plastic surgery. Its very painful.... (read in full...)
Do I need to accept that my marriage is over? Or is there anything I can do?
Q. My husband and I have been together for 4 years now, married for 1 year and 4 months and we have 2 beautiful boys, nearly 3 and 6 months. 4 weeks ago he said to me that he was unhappy and that he felt empty. Subsequent conversations have revealed ...
A. 13 September 2009: This is really a tragically heart warming situation. In a way, he doesn't see what he has right in front of him.
I think what's bothering your husband is that he has suddenly felt a great deal of pressure, with a home, wife and 2 kids to support ... (read in full...)
I keep losing my erection with my new girlfriend. I desperately want to get this sorted, please help!
Q. Hi, im 19 years old, ive recently been having an erection problem half way through sex i keep loosing my erection. Im recently with a new girlfriend i was with my last girlfriend for over a year and our sex life was amazing it was good every singl...
A. 13 September 2009: Here's the problem. You're not over your old girlfriend and you're spending too much time ruminating over this.
You need to make a significant, emotional connection to your current girlfriend.
Sex is largely in the mind. If you don't focus on t... (read in full...)
I just cannot make him cum!
Q. I cant seem to make my boyfriend cum. I have literally sat for hours going down and giving him hand jobs but he wont cum. I'm beginning to feel like theres something wrong with me!...
A. 13 September 2009: He may have to see someone about this. Maybe hand jobs just don't do it for him. Can he make himself ejaculate?... (read in full...)
Why is it becoming harder to have an orgasm?
Q. Hi I cant orgasim anymore..or not as much as I used to. When my boyfriend and I first started going out I used to have 3-5 orgasims while having sex. Then it changed and it is harder to orgasim and sometimes I have one or none at all.. I w...
A. 13 September 2009: I see. Well then here's some suggestions.
You need to be in a very calm and relaxed set of circumstances. I don't know why you can't breathe and be a little noisy. I'm guessing maybe there's others around and you don't want them to hear you two.... (read in full...)
Why do men and women make it so hard to build a relationship together?
Q. Ok so this is really a question for men who have been through the same thing and women who have told a guy this and what it really meant for them. I'm in love with this girl for quite some time now. She is my best friend. so much so that I dont ...
A. 12 September 2009: The real question is what are her "prequalifiers"?
From an objective standpoint of view you want to find someone that fits within certain boundaries. You don't want to date the wrong person and end up in a bad and failed relationship.
As far ... (read in full...)
What makes someone push something good away?
Q. What is wrong with me? I am a successful female divorcee, who has had multiple relationships that just do not turn out. Recently I dated a guy for 2 1/2 years. I fell in love with him, but had reservations about some of his behaviors and his repu...
A. 12 September 2009: I think you have two issues here. First of all your friends should never have any say in who you love or fall in love with. Its just plain none of their business.
Second, I think the fact that you rarely dated in public, might have given him the ... (read in full...)
I want to have sex whilst I'm spotting, how can I talk to him about it?
Q. I'm currently on birth control. Its my second month taking it, and now im starting to spot. I know its normal but I really was looking forward to seeing my boo today and having both oral sex and penetration. I know it may sound nasty, but I just ...
A. 12 September 2009: If he really loves you, the spotting and any other menstrual issues usually get worked around. Some men don't care about that, they just want their woman to be happy. Therefore, they'll do whatever it takes to give pleasure.
Other men are a bit sq... (read in full...)
Cheating while intoxicated?
Q. Can people actually get drunk enough and cheat on their loved ones? Mine cheated, however said it was because he drank. (he rarely gets drunk around other people, or if im not around, and no doesn't have a drinking problem)He was at a family even...
A. 12 September 2009: This seems to be happening frequently these days. Sex under the influence (S.U.I.). The fact that he's completely blown her off tells me that she means nothing to him, and obviously you mean everything to me. Moreover it also tells me he know... (read in full...)
Why is it becoming harder to have an orgasm?
Q. Hi I cant orgasim anymore..or not as much as I used to. When my boyfriend and I first started going out I used to have 3-5 orgasims while having sex. Then it changed and it is harder to orgasim and sometimes I have one or none at all.. I w...
A. 12 September 2009: Some of this may be due to the birth control method you're using. But some of it is also a matter of arousal. Women have different kinds of orgasmic reactions and it takes more time and patience sometimes under different circumstances. ... (read in full...)
B/f is friends with his first love again, I feel jealous!
Q. when it comes to my boyfriend's ex i never really used to have a problem with her. before me she was his first love and as teenagers they were together for about between 18 mths to 2 yrs. they broke up and it just happened that i was his shoulder ...
A. 12 September 2009: I am so sorry that this is stressing you out. You seem to be a very nice girl that he met and in this time, the two of you have grown close and intimate together. I think that you were kind and accepting of his girlfriend, and the fact that you sa... (read in full...)
Husband told me he liked small breasts now he tells me that mine are too small!
Q. Hi guys, I have never had problem with my breast,I have always liked small breast,and i have even been asking god I hope they never grow and they always stay small. before I get married I asked my husband if he likes small breast or big one.his a...
A. 12 September 2009: You're right in never being ashamed of your body. It sounds like your husband is being insensitive and he's criticizing you over things you can't control. Moreover, he's displaying a clear lack of respect for you.
You need to sit down with him... (read in full...)
She dumped me suddenly and got back with her ex the next day. I feel so used and hurt.
Q. About two months ago a girl that I had been dating for three months ended things with me. When we last spoke she said that "things aren't working out between us", and that "I deserved better than her". The day after she broke up with me I found out ...
A. 12 September 2009: This is a situation where you invested a great deal of emotional energy into a short term relationship. In other words, she meant more to you than you did to her.
The fact that she went back to her ex overnight means she's done with you. And, the... (read in full...)
He only seems interested in the television and computer. Is this normal in a relationship?
Q. Good morning to all... I am writing for some advice or just another opinion outside of the one that I have within my relationship. I have been living with a man for nine months now and would like to think that my intentions are good. I do my ...
A. 12 September 2009: No this isn't normal. One of the reasons why relationships break up is because one or the other or both partners fail to pay attention to the other or each another. In order for a relationship to thrive and mature, both partners have to ma... (read in full...)
She cut me off a year ago, and I'm getting tempted to cheat.
Q. OK, so I have made a complete mess of my relationship with a woman I have been 'cohabitating' with for 23 years... I have made a complete mess with our finances (I would say mainly due to my selfishness but there are other issues involved like ...
A. 12 September 2009: This does not sound very good. I'm guessing that she believes the money is worth more than the love.
Its very hard to advise under these circumstances because we don't know the actual reason why she won't touch you. But one thing you can do with ... (read in full...)
My first boyfriend wants to get back with me but I'm engaged, how do I tell him?
Q. I dated a guy in high school for 2 and a half years. During that time I fell in love with him. He was my first boyfriend, my first kiss, my first time, my first everything. We ended up being forced apart by my parents from some trouble we got into. ...
A. 12 September 2009: You need to tell your first boyfriend the truth. The other "aunts" have similar advice.
The reason why is simple. You want him to know that you're being perfectly honest with him. While he was away you met someone else and fell in love. Now you'... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is torn between his wife and me
Q. When my boyfriend and I first met it was love at first sight. Not something I had ever believed in before especially at 28. After having our 1st date, he called and told me that he was separated with a daughter and going through a divorce. Not ...
A. 12 September 2009: These are the hardest relationships ever. First of all if he's in the military, until he's out, he may not be around very much for either you, his wife or child.
I think the mother wants him to stay married because no one wants a family broken u... (read in full...)
He cheated on me. He doesn't know I cheated on him too. Should I tell him?
Q. My boyfriend has cheated on me twice and I've forgiven him both times because he came out and told me I didnt have to find out or any other immature things involved. While he was cheating on me I kinda felt that something was going on so I cheated ...
A. 11 September 2009: First you need to look deep into your heart and determine for yourself whether you want this relationship to survive. How much do you love your boyfriend and how much does he love you?
If you're going to have any slim chance of patching up a rou... (read in full...)
I want him to be part of our daughter's life after he gets out of jail ...
Q. My daughters father was brought up in an insane household.. honestly his mother believes in all types of religions and his father would cheat. when i found out that i was pregnant with my daughter he left and started dating numerous other girls. i ...
A. 11 September 2009: I'm not sure how to break this to you. But your daughter's father is an abuser and the problem with that is its not healthy to have someone like that around you and the child.
The only thing I can recommend is that he needs to get into some sor... (read in full...)
My boyfriend said that if I loved him I would have sex with him! Why cant he respect my wishes and wait?
Q. My bf said if I loved him, if I cared about him and if I wanted to make him happy, then I would have sex with him. Why would he say this? It really hurts for him to say this to me because I DO care, and I do love him and I so badly want to ma...
A. 11 September 2009: Your follow up says everything and sums it up right there. You should politely tell him that you can't continue seeing him and that he should find someone else.
Then simply start looking again. I'm sure you'll find the right man for you, just let... (read in full...)
Is it unusual not to have your father give you away at your wedding and have your brother do it instead?
Q. I'm getting married soon (yay!) and I'm worried about that tradition where the father of the bride gives her away. You see, my dad was never around...I think I've met him on 3 or 4 occasions and never had more than a superficial conversation with ...
A. 11 September 2009: Tradition says if your father's not around or passed on, the prospective father-in-law does the honors. But a brother, friend, your sister, a martian; anyone will do. Or you can dispense with it and just give yourself away. Its not the march, its ... (read in full...)
What does it mean if you are in a used relationship?
Q. Can someone tell me what does it mean if you are in a used relationship? And how do you move out or move on out of a relationship like this? Thx...B...
A. 11 September 2009: One partner is in the relationship for love. The other one is in it for sex, money, drugs, a roof over the head, or whatever.
Therefore, its a one-sided affair. The person who is in it for love is being used by the person who's in it for any othe... (read in full...)
Feeling ignored
Q. Im 37 and my girlfriend is 41. We have been dating for about 5 months and get along fine. However, I have noticed that her home life kind of distracts us from developing a solid relationship. She has two kids 17 and 20 who live with her (i dont have ...
A. 11 September 2009: I think you need to sit down with your girlfriend in a quiet place at a quiet time, and gently and lovingly explain to her that you want to spend much more quality time with her alone.
That means she has to tell her sister to stay home and stop... (read in full...)
Am I cold and heartless because I have stopped caring about everything?
Q. I don't care anymore, I have had a lot of misfortune in the last few months and have cried way too much. So now I just don't care if something bothers me I tell myself I don't care I know I do deep down but I refuse to let that feeling rise. I will ...
A. 11 September 2009: Its easy to become apathetic especially if you're depressed.
What misfortunes did you have that make you want to not care about anything anymore?
I'm assuming it was a breakup of some sort, just giving the nature of the site, but I don't know... (read in full...)
My boyfriend said that if I loved him I would have sex with him! Why cant he respect my wishes and wait?
Q. My bf said if I loved him, if I cared about him and if I wanted to make him happy, then I would have sex with him. Why would he say this? It really hurts for him to say this to me because I DO care, and I do love him and I so badly want to ma...
A. 11 September 2009: This one's easy to respond to.
You have a certain set of pre-defined boundaries that he's well aware of. The reason why you have these boundaries is that you want to build up trust between you and him.
One of those boundaries aside from trust... (read in full...)
He cheated..She told me..He's trying to be a better bf
Q. Now I posted this once with a few replies, however a few questions are on my mind that I need advice on... here's the story once again, I'll ask my questions at the end. Story: I met my boyfriend online a few years ago, but we didn't fall for ...
A. 11 September 2009: I think he didn't intend to cheat on you. I used to drink heavily and quit many years ago; and I can tell you that drunk guys can do a lot of amazing things even though they shouldn't.... (read in full...)
I don't feel anything for my boyfriend of 8 years anymore
Q. I feel my feelings for my boyfriend of 8 years is slowing dying off. The love I have for him 6 years ago was great. What is stopping me from leaving him is that we have two kids together, and I know it would hurt them to see that their daddy and ...
A. 11 September 2009: I apologize, I kept referring to your relationship as a marriage. I meant relationship. In either event, its the same formula.... (read in full...)
He has gone off sex, but masturbates all the time. Help guys!
Q. So I need advice from all the guys out there please... My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year and a half - and have lived together for nearly half of that time - he's 27 and I'm 25. Our sex life is pretty inconsistent I would say - ...
A. 11 September 2009: Wow! This one's a switch. He's got a gal that wants his body and he's soiling old T-shirts?
Okay, here's a quick possible solution to your dilemma. I'd only recommend it if he absolutely has 100 percent trust in you and won't feel ashamed.... (read in full...)
I don't feel anything for my boyfriend of 8 years anymore
Q. I feel my feelings for my boyfriend of 8 years is slowing dying off. The love I have for him 6 years ago was great. What is stopping me from leaving him is that we have two kids together, and I know it would hurt them to see that their daddy and ...
A. 11 September 2009: You two need to spend a great deal of time talking to each other.
First of all, it sounds to me like he's been neglecting you. Neglect is the number 1 cause of long-term breakups.
Every marriage and every relationship requires a great deal of ... (read in full...)
Found a great guy but cant open up to him. Any advice?
Q. What do I say to him? Where do I go with this? I met this guy about a month ago. We went out for coffee and on the first date we clicked instantly. He's actually everything I've been looking for; smart, funny, handsome, a great listener and ver...
A. 11 September 2009: You need to take your time with him and he has to be patient.
One thing he needs to understand, and you have to explain to him is that you've been in other relationships where you suffered infidelities.
Make sure you make it clear to him tha... (read in full...)
He cheated..She told me..He's trying to be a better bf
Q. Now I posted this once with a few replies, however a few questions are on my mind that I need advice on... here's the story once again, I'll ask my questions at the end. Story: I met my boyfriend online a few years ago, but we didn't fall for ...
A. 11 September 2009: First of all I really feel bad for you. You're angry and your insecure and you're looking at phone bills to relive this whole trauma. You're in a lot of pain over it.
He needs to help you get over this and spend time trying to love you and hope... (read in full...)
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