A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm not sure why but I crave my boyfriends attention a lot. I want him to talk to me when I want him to. Console me when I need him and just be there more me when I need him to be. Which he isn't sometimes. Today I spend time with him and we had a great time. Now I am calling him and he is not picking up his phone. Then he sent me a message on instant message sayin "I don't feel like talking" I asked him if there was something wrong and he said no. So I'm wondering what the hell is the problem them. My point is I want to talk to him. I'm stressed and he is the only person I want to talk to. I would never admit this to him but I wish I was the only female he cared about. I don't like his females friends. I'm not jealous or insecure I'm just not fond of them.Is it wrong of me to crave his attention so much?
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male
reader, softtouchmale2003 +, writes (6 September 2009):
 He's looking at you thinking, "Gee we just had a nice day and she's getting all clingy and whiney!"
Here's a suggestion. There is no question that if you do love someone or you're maybe falling in love with him, you are going to crave his attention. That's natural and its to be expected. If he loves you too he's going to want to pay attention to you, and he will definitely be there to console you; and laugh with you, cry with you and play with you when you want to play so to speak.
Here's the thing. You don't want to smother him. Just craving him to crave him is being too clingy and it makes you come across as insecure.
If you want him to spend all of his free time with you, and want you, then you have to do a couple of things. These are ground rules you need to lay down for yourself or else you're going to spin out of control and he will walk away from you out of pure self-defense.
Simple solution:
Set limits on yourself. How many texts/emails you will send per day. No more than 2 would be fine. He'll get the message! Too much of texting or emails is just going to disturb him.
Second. Don't call him all day long. Limit a phone call to just 1 time a day. Just enough so he knows you care about him, AND YOU TRUST HIM!
Third. Spend more face time with him. That's what you're craving. Just make it quality time and try and make it a pleasant experience for him.
When your time together is over, say he goes home for the night or whatever. Wait a little till he calls you or send him a text or email later the next day. Give him space.
If he's into you, you'll know it and all the insecurities will disappear.
If you want love to work for you, and you want him to love you; just be patient and think of him getting some space for himself. If you keep bugging him, he's going to think you're too high maintenance emotionally and that will drag him down tremendously, and make him run to the hills -- with his head on fire, screaming!
A
female
reader, Duckyhelp  +, writes (6 September 2009):
 Hey, i went through this, and i ended up getting dumped and branded a psyco b**** by him and his friends. And i dont want you to go through this, so i suggest laying low for a while, dont contact him till he contacts you, this WILL be hard to do and you will probs be constantly checking your phone for missed calls and messges, but in the long run its good for you, you will learn not to be so dependant on his attention.
Spend more time with your closest girl mates and have day outs and show you are independent and do not rely on him.
As for his female friends, thats just something your going to have to live with, i suggest trying to get to know them so you can see what it is exactly that makes your boyfriend like them!
Hope i helped x
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