PLEASE! I need an outsider's perspective about this relationship.
Q. I had a bf almost a year ago whom I had broken up with because I found out he was cheating on me. This had hurt me so severely I was depressed for months, had nightmares and developed a phobia on certain things and places. For some reason, my ...
A. 30 October 2011: Kudos to you. I am so happy you finally found happiness.... (read in full...)
I want a divorce, my wife is pregnant and I'm having an affair with our neighbour....help!
Q. I am 32 yrs old and have been married for 4 yrs. A year ago we moved to a new town and my wife and I drifted apart. She befriended our neighbours and became close friends with the lady. We would often go to dinners there and I met their now 19 yr ...
A. 25 January 2010: I would also suggest that perhaps you should get DNA testing done both with the wife's impending pregnancy (amnio) and the 19 yo girlfriend.
Just saying ....... (read in full...)
My husband left me for another woman, please help?
Q. My husband recently left me for another woman. We were married for 16 years and he met her at work. I just wondered if anyone else has had that happen to them? and how did it turn out? how long did it take the hurt to go? ...
A. 24 January 2010: This is unfortunately quite a common occurrence these days.
I don't know if there are any children involved, but you have to understand that whatever reasons he had for the affair, they have resulted in him moving on with his life with another ... (read in full...)
I want a divorce, my wife is pregnant and I'm having an affair with our neighbour....help!
Q. I am 32 yrs old and have been married for 4 yrs. A year ago we moved to a new town and my wife and I drifted apart. She befriended our neighbours and became close friends with the lady. We would often go to dinners there and I met their now 19 yr ...
A. 24 January 2010: Wow! That's a keg of dynamite and you're tied to it.
With the wife. Well she lied to you about being on the pill, and she got pregnant by you. What I don't understand is why have sex with your wife if you wanted a divorce and you wanted to split... (read in full...)
When is a marriage just not worth trying for anymore?
Q. Do you think ,is it foolish to stay in a marriage ,which does not make you happy sexually and emotionally,or it is not ,because marriage is more important than some happy sex and feelings? I mean ive been in therapy to try to and save my marriage, ...
A. 24 January 2010: Unfortunately the breakup of most marriages occurs when one partner ignores and neglects the needs of the other one.
Your anger is directed at the fact that he is not being attent to your affection, emotional and sexual needs.
I would sugge... (read in full...)
Does this mean anything or am I just kidding myself that he cares?
Q. Wow, This may be too log for some but here goes. I had been with my husband for 7 years. The last three were awful. I treated him like crap and it was as though he didn't exist. I was never intimate with him and we never even slept in the sam...
A. 24 January 2010: This is a horrible nightmare for your husband and the other woman.
Its apparent that your husband finally got fed up being ignored and treated badly, and another woman gave him exactly that which you denied him.
When the people who love us feel... (read in full...)
I am being replaced by my wife's vibrator
Q. I posted before about my wife's low sex drive, partly due to being on anti depression medication. After a long chat, she decided to stop taking her meds and try cognative behavioural therapy in the hope of it increasing her libido. Everything see...
A. 24 January 2010: Well there's an easy solution to this. Why don't you two incorporate the vibrator into your sex play so that when you have sex together, she can enjoy the experience and get that "reward" too. In other words, if she enjoys the sex play as much as ... (read in full...)
Marriage problems, BOTH of us are writing for your help!
Q. My husband and I have been married for 6 years. During these years the last 3 have been pretty rocky. In these past 3 years we have only had sexual relations about a dozen times. I was the cause of this. I pushed him away and told him no so he quit ...
A. 23 January 2010: This is a complex scenario with an easy solution, but it takes work from both of you.
The answers are not as clear-cut as you'd like because this requires as I said, the two of you to work on it.
So let's start with your relationship.
... (read in full...)
How can I stop loving my best friends husband? Help!
Q. Where do i start with this one! a brief outline i have been happily with my husband for 19 years and then 2 years ago my boss made advances towards me. i went through a horrific two years with him where i totally lost grip of everything, my husband,...
A. 21 January 2010: Well it could be that you are unhappy in your marriage, despite how good and attentive your husband is.
However, you and your friend needs to focus away from each other so that at the very least, he can fix up his marriage.
This entire a... (read in full...)
His ex is always there in the back of my mind and I don't know what to do any more... Please help!
Q. I can't do it anymore... I don't know where to go from this point. I've talked to everyone that I possibly can (except a therapist, because I can't afford one), I've looked up forums and posts on countless sites all over the internet (as well as ...
A. 21 January 2010: Please, please stop! Stop hurting yourself!
This other woman that your boyfriend dated is POISON! She may be pretty, she may seem popular on her internet site. But trust me, even your boyfriend knows she's deadly.
And now she's poisoned you and... (read in full...)
A question for men on attraction...
Q. This is a question for men. Have you ever found yourself attracted to women that you may not have been attracted to when you first met. Or is the determination set from the moment you meet....
A. 21 January 2010: I am usually attracted to the woman rather than her body or face. So I have to say I've dated some lookers and I've dated some women that had personality. Personality always wins.... (read in full...)
How do I break the big heave ho to him... gently?
Q. Hiya, I really need help! I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 3 years, I love him very much, but I don't think I'm in love with him anymore. We met in college, when we were 16/17 and everything was great until about 5 months ago. We have bot...
A. 21 January 2010: Well this one's a tough call. It seems that he's fallen from your graces, and likely because he started taking you for granted in certain ways, maybe drifting away from you.
Be that as it may, if you're going to break up with him, the easiest ... (read in full...)
Did I make the right choice by cutting my losses and moving on?
Q. I am 51 years old and seperated 2 years going through divorce. I became involved with a 49 year old widower. In June of last year. His wife was my friend who died one month earlier. I was extremely reluctant but he pursued me relentlessy with gifts ...
A. 20 January 2010: It sounds like he rushed into an affair but had no clue who he is inside. He's still probably trying to get his head screwed on straight.
Its not you. Its him, obviously. Give him space, give him time. Prepare for the worst, hope for the best; bu... (read in full...)
What does he mean when he says I'm in trouble?
Q. I made a silly mistake of having a one week affair with a man on my job. He was the cutest thing I had ever seen. I just wanted to sleep with him and nothing more-especially since he is married 33 yrs. I heard he was a play boy and run through ...
A. 20 January 2010: It could mean:
1. He's got an STD and either got it from you, or you gave it to him. And so without leaving any incriminating evidence, he's telling you.
2. His wife found out.
3. You've been naughty.... (read in full...)
How can I stop loving my best friends husband? Help!
Q. Where do i start with this one! a brief outline i have been happily with my husband for 19 years and then 2 years ago my boss made advances towards me. i went through a horrific two years with him where i totally lost grip of everything, my husband,...
A. 20 January 2010: Hi,
There seems to be some issue here either with your marriage, or with the people you get emotionally close to in your life.
I can't condone nor can I condemn what's going on here, its not my place to judge you for any of this.
Howeve... (read in full...)
Texting affair...
Q. Hi again, I put the following post on last night but the site seemed to be faulty and it didn't appear for hours. I have had one reply but am wondering if due to the fault it wasn't read by many other people. In case you could offer me help and ...
A. 18 January 2010: Hi,
I read over this post and the others, and thought about it while traveling all day. I know you're going through this SB (rather than spell out your screen name -- which isn't true).
You wrote: "I CAN'T LET IT GO" in caps. And I know what'... (read in full...)
Why did I cause her to be in such a state of shock ?
Q. I went out with a girl for two years, one i worked with. I found out by chance she had been seeing someone else at work, I walked it hurt, remained as best i could with dignity. This was two years ago. I always found it difficult to interact with ...
A. 17 January 2010: Your ex-girlfriend is constantly confused about her emotional attachment to you, which is the number 1 thing.
The second issue in her head, is jealousy. She let you go for another man, but when she saw you get friendly with someone new; that cau... (read in full...)
Caught wife with the vibrator by herself and didn't know what to do - what should I tell her?
Q. Been married for a long time and have a few kids. Sex drive for me has worn over the years, she can have sex a few times a week, seems like everyday to me. I can go a week or two before Im ready. Everytimbe we do Im always irritated because Im never ...
A. 17 January 2010: You two need to spend more time together in a relaxed environment, and get emotionally and physically affectionate all over again. Maybe get make hormone shots. And bring the vibrator along.... (read in full...)
Do you think my ex will think of me at all...?
Q. When your ex is in a rebound, I read generally they start doing extravagent(sp) things together and making big plans usually and spending all there time together. I just found out my ex is going snowboarding with his new girl and her family...
A. 17 January 2010: You posed a good question.
I think he does think of you, even though he's trying to move on. And yes, whatever was lacking in your relationship with him is the exact quality that he's searching for in his next relationship.
Does this mea... (read in full...)
I want my lover back!!!!
Q. I want my lover back. We had so much fun going from friends to "secret lovers". My husband never found out, but others started talking...so after I told him others were suspicious we stopped.. never really talked about it, and our friendship has ...
A. 17 January 2010: Well this is a very difficult situation. People do fall in love in extramarital affairs, though its not wise to do so.
You need to straighten out your domestic situation and the sooner the better. Money, kids, drugs are all issues. Perhaps ... (read in full...)
I was sexually attacked 2 years ago. Why am I getting nightmares now?
Q. I dont really know where about to start as this is a very long problem and been goin on a couple of years. in november 2008 i was sexually abused + was repeatedly abused every week for 18 months. I will not say anything about the attacker as im sc...
A. 17 January 2010: Sounds like Post-Traumatic-Stress Syndrome.
Have you gone through rape counseling? If not, do that. If yes, go back.
You're hurting yourself emotionally and you need to get past this and back to enjoying your life.... (read in full...)
Do I communicate with him or not?
Q. how do i handle a relationship when something goes wrong? (it's major, he has been dishonest with me, hiding something from me for a while). i'm not writing the details because it would be too much. i was devastated, and i'm trying to figure o...
A. 17 January 2010: The best thing to do is find your head in the right spot and get things straight in your mind.
Tell him briefly that you need some time and to let you have some time to be left alone by him.
Obviously whatever it is he did was enough to put yo... (read in full...)
I love my husband AND my brother in law!!!
Q. I'm in love with my brother in law: yes, I know it is extremely wrong but this is my story: I've been married for 11 yrs. My marriage is a good one though there are things I don't like about my husband...in any case, I do love my husband too. When I ...
A. 17 January 2010: People have affairs for all sorts of reasons. In this case, this affair is far too close to home.
First of all both of you are probably raking yourselves over in guilt and shame over this. Your brother-in-law started his affair with you after he... (read in full...)
Is my fiance in denial about drugs?
Q. Hi First of all thanks to all of you who answered my first question okay I am letting my fiance stay until the first of February but to me he is in denial or should I say trying to break me and let him continue to live with me I ...
A. 15 January 2010: Drug abuse, lying and criminal behavior make this relationship a rocky one.
I would say if you can't trust him, then you can't love him. The relationship would never survive very long.
I think its probably for the best to break off your engagem... (read in full...)
What are the unspoken rules regarding sex?
Q. When you have sex, when do you normally finish? once the man has an orgasm or both? thanks...
A. 14 January 2010: When you're both satisfied. Why would you have sex if you get nothing out of it? Obviously people do to please their partners. But if only 1 of you gets pleasure, where does that leave the other?... (read in full...)
PLEASE! I need an outsider's perspective about this relationship.
Q. I had a bf almost a year ago whom I had broken up with because I found out he was cheating on me. This had hurt me so severely I was depressed for months, had nightmares and developed a phobia on certain things and places. For some reason, my ...
A. 12 January 2010: The answer to your question about what to do is simple. You need to cut contact with him and move on with your life.
... (read in full...)
Why can't I compliment my wife?
Q. MOD NOTE: 2 posts combined together. Why can't I tell my wife that she looks hot? My wife of 20 years hates it when I tell her that she looks hot!! I don't understand the difference between a come-on and a compliment. How come she thinks that I'm ...
A. 11 January 2010: I'd have to agree with marriedlady. If your wife can't take a compliment like that, and can't understand why you're attracted to her after 20 years of marriage -- and take advantage of that -- she's probably having an affair.
I can't imagine ... (read in full...)
I hate my parents...help!
Q. I hate my parents, i get chewed out over anything. Even stuff they have done. They have taught me its not okay to love anyone and that no matter how nice I am I am being rude or a nuisance....
A. 11 January 2010: I'm a little confused. Are you saying they're saying its not right to love your parents (as in anyone)? Chewed out for anything you do even if they did it?
Without specifics, just if you looked at it straight on, its nonsensical ranting.... (read in full...)
How do we get that 'naughty' spark, back again?
Q. Ive been in a long-term long-distance relationship for over 3 years. We've had our share of challenges including trying to keep our sex life heated up. Our sex life has not been great for more than a year now. The distance keeps us apart for weeks ...
A. 11 January 2010: Skit16 has it right mostly.
Its not your woman's body, its her. Who she is inside. If you want to enjoy a good sex life, then you two have to start thinking exactly what you were thinking at the beginning. That is hot, varied, kinky and enjoyabl... (read in full...)
PLEASE! I need an outsider's perspective about this relationship.
Q. I had a bf almost a year ago whom I had broken up with because I found out he was cheating on me. This had hurt me so severely I was depressed for months, had nightmares and developed a phobia on certain things and places. For some reason, my ...
A. 11 January 2010: As the man says, "Not a winner, kid."
This is a man who has no clue who he is inside, and is simply going to philander.
Inasmuch as you like him, or possibly even love him; he's just not right for you.
People like him are full of self-dec... (read in full...)
HELP!!! She won't let go!!!
Q. I'm a lesbian who has been in love with the same woman ever since I was SURE I was a lesbian. After a couple of tries at relationships, me and the woman decided to remain friends and she is now with someone else. I'd like to move on as well, but the ...
A. 11 January 2010: A. Is this a sign of love or selfishness???
Its both. She loves you and someone else has moved in on her heart. Leaving you in the cold. She's also selfish because she wants her cake and she wants to eat it too.
Sadly you want her to be monoga... (read in full...)
Should I just keep it to myself or should I tell her how I feel?
Q. 2002 was a rough time for me. I had just had gotten laid off, and I had sank into a deep depression. During this depression, I had become very insecure and this manifested into me developing serious trust issues with my ex, and in the process I said ...
A. 11 January 2010: If you and your ex are friends again, then maybe at some point in a warm and caring moment, you can tell her how you feel and most important, tell her that you truly regret the things you did to her, and the person you became.
I don't know if ... (read in full...)
How does a 31 year old tell a male 27 year old to shave his bush?
Q. How does a 31 year old tell a male 27 year old to shave his bush?...
A. 11 January 2010: Well just tell him you want him to be as innocent as a 10 year old. LOL.
Seriously, very seductively and gently offer to give him a haircut down there and tell him if he's really good about things, you'll make it well worth his while.
I think... (read in full...)
I gave my boyfriend naked photographs and I'm regretting it! Help!
Q. I gave my boyfriend naked pics and a video of us. He keeps it in his laptop. I did as a private thing between he and I but lately every now and then he says thing like "they(the pictures)belong to me, and I can do what I want with them" I told him I ...
A. 10 January 2010: The photos are your property if you're the photographer, videographer, and even if they were given voluntarily, he has no license to circulate them to just anyone. In other words if he tried to use them in anyway, other than for personal use, I'm ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend constantly thinks I'm cheating. What can I do to change her way of thinking?
Q. My girlfriend keeps thinking I'm going to cheat on her. Nothing I say or do works. We have been dating for 11 months. I really like her and she won't except that she has trust issues. If someone could help I would greatly appreiciate it. Thanks ...
A. 10 January 2010: People who do this are suffering from trust issues and deep-down personal insecurities.
It could be that she's telling you this and subliminally she's really saying she's going to break up with you if you don't break up with her first.
Men and... (read in full...)
"I love you, but relationships are complicated." What does this mean?
Q. When I admitted my feelings to my friend his response was, "I love you.. *pause*.. but relationships are complicated." Is there hope in a relationship?...
A. 10 January 2010: Sounds like you have a loyal, loving friend who's afraid to go the extra step. Perhaps he values your friendship more than complicating it with a love affair.
It would seem difficult to understand but once you've reached a certain level of intim... (read in full...)
It scares me that I am thinking of sleeping with someone other than my wife!
Q. hello all, i pretty much no the answers to the question i am going to ask, but i spose i want some reasurance that i am right. for the past 3 months or so my wife and i have only had sex twice. this is playing on my mind big time as to me she is a...
A. 10 January 2010: Its interesting that you mentioned how much you love your wife, yet vacillate on forgiving her or forgetting.
My advice to you is to try and forget the past infidelity of your wife, and try and get closer to her right now. You had said in your ori... (read in full...)
How do I stop my self hatred and eat healthily?
Q. i hate my body and feel fat and ugly. I know im overweight and its affecting my relationship in the bedroom because i dont feel confident or sexy yet i cant stay motivated to keep on diets and exercise. I'll go maybe two weeks of eating really ...
A. 10 January 2010: Part of what you're going through is a form of depression. You have to stay on some kind of a regimen.
The depression is being caused by a poor self-image. Self-image and what you see in the mirror are two different things. You have to start tr... (read in full...)
How can I quit being a control freak?
Q. i have been married for 16 years.my wife is sick of me being a control freak. i have hurt her and she wants me to change. she says we need to be friends before anything else. she wont be intimate with me.i am very fortunate that she hasnt left me.i ...
A. 10 January 2010: The desire to control comes from deep emotional insecurities. In other words you feel like you can't trust your wife unless you control her.
Trust has to be earned and it has to go both ways.
If you try and exercise too much control, instead... (read in full...)
Afraid she'll leave me if I ask her, to stay off the internet. Help!
Q. my wife and i have been drifting apart for about 2 years.she is always on the internet and is very brief when i ask her what she is dolng.she always has her cell locked and never leaves it alone.i have noticed several friends on her facebook site ...
A. 10 January 2010: Welcome to love in the internet age.
Well first of all if you truly do love your wife, you need to tell her to turn the phone off. Turn the computer off. Turn the TV off. Sit down with her and tell her that you feel like she's neglecting you emot... (read in full...)
I have a bit more skin than I think I should down there...
Q. Sorry if this is a bit of a weird question but im slightly worried. Is a little bit of excess skin "down below" normal? I know porn stars etc have surgery down there so it looks perfect. but on me, (excuse the going into detail) inbewtween the flaps ...
A. 10 January 2010: Its not unusual at all. I've been with different women my whole life, and at 50 that's a lot of baggage (some good -- some not so good LOL).
The skin is not the issue. Any really good guy will tell you that what it looks like down there, provided... (read in full...)
Can illicit strictly emotional only affairs be overcome?
Q. If a guy has had an illicit emotional (nothing physical but sexy and loving talk) relationship with another woman, do you think it is possible for him to 'drop her' because he is found out? If he has been able to completely cut her out of his life...
A. 9 January 2010: I think he regrets hurting you. And he probably turned to this other woman for emotional support.
Regardless, she may have given him pause to think about you, rather than her.
Frankly, if it was never going to amount to anything, I thin... (read in full...)
Can Impotence be Caused by Emotional Problems?
Q. Do you know anything about impotence caused by Emotional Problems? My husband is impotent and we don't know why. Now ,they checked out everything medically, but no answer to the question. Why is he impotent? So ,he gets an erection,not very long, ...
A. 9 January 2010: Its something both of you have to work on with experts. Try a therapist first. It could very well be he's under a great deal of stress, it could be work; maybe a marital issue that's gone unresolved.
Who knows. Its probably not you per se thoug... (read in full...)
It scares me that I am thinking of sleeping with someone other than my wife!
Q. hello all, i pretty much no the answers to the question i am going to ask, but i spose i want some reasurance that i am right. for the past 3 months or so my wife and i have only had sex twice. this is playing on my mind big time as to me she is a...
A. 9 January 2010: Hi,
I really feel for you on this one. What you wrote:
"[I] love my wife so much, more than [I] have ever loved anyone else before, and it is really scaring me that i am actually thinking this way...."
says it right there.
And this is wh... (read in full...)
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