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*ofttouchmale2003 agony aunt

*ofttouchmale2003

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*ofttouchmale2003's profile:

I am 54 years old in the middle of my adult life.

I enjoy new sensations, exploring the world, and anything that can bring life; especially now.

< Prev1234567891011Next > [18 pages, 677 answers]

I will leave my husband as I have been living a lie, what is your advice?

Q.   When I married my husband I was so in love. I trusted him but recently found out he had betrayed me by spending thousands and thousands of pounds not only on gambling but on other women. I found text messages from a girl, called Claire... and I ...

A.   24 November 2009: Hi there, Well you could spend an enormous amount of time obsessing over his infidelities. Frankly I would have to say, if you filed for divorce, you can go with option 2, that is the gambling, or sudden loss of thousands of pounds a month. ... (read in full...)

Why do I feel ashamed after I cum?

Q.   How is it that when I cum I feel ashamed after?...

A.   23 October 2009: Its a very good question. It all depends on where it all goes. Is this after you have sex with someone else? ... (read in full...)

I will leave my husband as I have been living a lie, what is your advice?

Q.   When I married my husband I was so in love. I trusted him but recently found out he had betrayed me by spending thousands and thousands of pounds not only on gambling but on other women. I found text messages from a girl, called Claire... and I ...

A.   22 October 2009: I am so sorry for you. It seems that you have been through something. The gambling, the seeming porn addiction, and possible affair. There appears no hope to reconcile here? Not at all? In either event, there is little advice to offer here as... (read in full...)

I feel awful and don't enjoy the hookers I visit..how do I rid myself of this sex addiction?

Q.   Hi Im from the UK and just want someone to help me about a sex addiction before it gets out of hand. I am a 21 year old guy who has never had a girlfriend and just feels lonely. I have hobbies that i do (gym a lot) but for some reason recently ...

A.   22 October 2009: Its not very thrilling or satisfying to have sexual relations with women for money. There's no emotional connection there, and you feel terrible about it because you're getting sexual gratification, but mean nothing to the women you're having sex ... (read in full...)

He is deeply spiritual and senses spirits around him. Should I stay away?

Q.   Hello Advice please asap Ive met a great guy online and plan to meet me him on Sunday. He is deeply deeply spiritual, says he feels things, knows things, senses spirits and that he feels them around him all the the time.... His mother was...

A.   22 October 2009: If he's truly a "medium" perhaps his spiritual friends can give him a heads up on your doubts. :)... (read in full...)

He is deeply spiritual and senses spirits around him. Should I stay away?

Q.   Hello Advice please asap Ive met a great guy online and plan to meet me him on Sunday. He is deeply deeply spiritual, says he feels things, knows things, senses spirits and that he feels them around him all the the time.... His mother was...

A.   22 October 2009: It all depends on what he believes. People who live in that version of the world may very well experience spiritual encounters. They may be real or maybe they aren't. If he's functioning normally, I would suppose he's harmless. On the other hand i... (read in full...)

How do other women get over their husband's unfaithfulness?

Q.   PLEASE, How do other women 'get over' their husband/partner's unfaithfulness??? As far as I know it was 'only texting' sexy and flirty stuff but it's just too much to bear! I can't see myself EVER being able to cope xx...

A.   21 October 2009: The first question should not be "how do I get over this?" it should be "Why hasn't he told me why he would do this?" Is there something going on or not going on in your relationship with your man that would cause him to stray outside of the marr... (read in full...)

I'm at a loss for new fantasies. Any ideas?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have sex 1 to 2 times a day. We both like kinky wild sex. The problem is that he often tells me to tell him my wildest fantasy, to not be afraid to tell him anything, to tell him something I haven't told him before. This really ...

A.   21 October 2009: Its sounds like both of you are sensation junkies. That said, try joining a BDSM club and mingling with some more fetishists. You know you don't have to engage in just about everything 2x a day. Take a break and try and pick living out a few ... (read in full...)

My mom kicked me out and I have no idea where to go.

Q.   Hey, I'm 16 (turning 17 in January) and my mom kicked me out. I don't know what to do because my Dad just got kicked out too (sensing a theme anyone?) and he lives with his mom so there's no room for me. This is the first night so I have no idea ...

A.   21 October 2009: Probably your best bet is to go to one of the womens' shelters or contact the United Way in your town. There are half-way houses for runaway teens, though you didn't run, it seems heartless that your dad and grandmother can't make space for you ... (read in full...)

I cant get enough...Has anyone felt this before?

Q.   im 18 and i really like this guy who is 33 years old he likes me too , we know it's wrong ,but just can't gt enough of each other has anyone ever felt this before?what to do?...

A.   21 October 2009: There's nothing wrong with being attracted to one another. What else would there to be wrong about that. If the two of you have started seeing each other and the emotional energy is there, that energy can continue indefinitely if you want it to. ... (read in full...)

Moral beliefs on fantasies?

Q.   I was wondering what people think about this one. I feel that if you're in a relationship with someone, you shouldn't fantasise/masturbate over someone else. To me, at that moment in time you're choosing to be with (think of) someone other th...

A.   20 October 2009: I have to also agree with Satindesire's last post. It isn't just men who fantasize. Women especially have rich fantasy lives which often does not get articulated enough in many marriages and relationships. Many times they suppress their own fant... (read in full...)

Am I going to resent him for all my suffering? I cheated.

Q.   After 10 yrs and three children, I cheated on my fiance. I dont know how to make him understand that I was going through some serious emotional problems. He feels that I fell inlove with the man, and although some actions gear towards that ...

A.   19 October 2009: PPD man that's rough. Okay well, the advice I gave would still stands but the problem I have is the abuse you're going through. Maybe you made a mistake and cheated, but its not a reason for him to torment you. If your husband is abusing you, the... (read in full...)

Should I convert to Christianity for him?

Q.   Hi dear cupid. I need help again. I broke up with my boyfriend for one week but now we get back together again.(we're long distantance) We broke up, because of his family. And I told him if he stop listen to his family and move on with me (just me ...

A.   19 October 2009: Religion is the biggest problem in the world, not just in relationships between men and women. Faith is an unquestioned belief in a superior power or diety called God or Allah or whatever the name is. From this point of view, you say you were... (read in full...)

Moral beliefs on fantasies?

Q.   I was wondering what people think about this one. I feel that if you're in a relationship with someone, you shouldn't fantasise/masturbate over someone else. To me, at that moment in time you're choosing to be with (think of) someone other th...

A.   19 October 2009: If you don't let your imagination grow with you, then you're suppressing your inner self. Fantasies are healthy. Some can be legitimately acted upon and some not. You're going to old-school Christianity that says if you think it, you've sinne... (read in full...)

She deleted me off her contact list. What's wrong with her?

Q.   well when my ex found out i had a girlfriend she was suprised and started asking me when i went out with her and that she wanted a picture of her then she kept calling and texting me all the time and most of the time i didnt answer her back and she ...

A.   19 October 2009: You two either need to keep seeing each other F2F, or just leave each other alone. What's going on is simple. Like Satindesire said. A total failure of communications BOTH WAYS! No one can understand what you wrote, because neither one of t... (read in full...)

Boyfriend broke up with me because his friends don't like me

Q.   My bf broke up with me because his friends didnt like me. They put an enourmous amoutn of strain on our relationship. Obviously, his friends and their opinions are important to him. And I can understand him wanting his friends to like me and for me ...

A.   18 October 2009: His friends are pigs. He let them tell him what to do in his life. You, on the other hand, have things that you do in your life that are less raucous than drinking and partying. So his friends may have been jealous that you were pulling their dr... (read in full...)

Do lack of actions show lack of care?

Q.   I have a question, if someone that claims he loves you but then never calls, writes, or does anything to initiate contact, do you back off???? Very confused and told that it is your not believing in the love or trusting that is the fault. But ...

A.   18 October 2009: I would have to say that if he's neglecting you and avoiding you, no matter what he says, its obvious that you are not on his priority list. Now of course I do not know the context of how this message was delivered. As in, "I love you as a friend" ... (read in full...)

I fancy him but it would be social suicide to go out with him!

Q.   This guy at school really fancys me but theres one problem. Hes a geek. I think i might fancy him aswell but it would be social sucide going out with him! He's asked me out loads and i keep saying no. I know your just going to be like well if you ...

A.   18 October 2009: "Social suicide"? Are you kidding? Didn't you know frogs grow into princes. Just look at Bill Gates. Don't let your fellow school mates (animals that they are) tell you who to date or imply that you must avoid at all costs, boys who interest ... (read in full...)

How can I learn to get over my past and trust a new person?

Q.   I have been searching for answers for sometime and haven't found anywhere to turn to for help. I hope you can offer some advise to a man after a divorce. There are soo many places for women to go but not men. I was married for 9 years with 3 kids. ...

A.   17 October 2009: What you're suffering with is both shame (associated with a failed marriage) and fear (that you'll be abandoned again). In order to avoid these to issues, you need to try and focus on your relationship with your new girlfriend. As you said, sh... (read in full...)

Will marriage stop a man from having an affair if he's in love/lust?

Q.   My question is mostly for married men. Is it possible to lust over another woman and not act on it? I mean of course I know it is possible for a beautiful woman to get under your skin, but I'm wondering if there are men who even though the other ...

A.   17 October 2009: If a marriage is very good, a married man may act on an impulse to cheat on his wife for the thrill of sex with another woman. However, at some point he's going to have a great deal of guilt and shame associated with the cheating. Its called l... (read in full...)

Am I turning into a jealous jerk?

Q.   why is my wifes guy friend so important to her? My wife and I are pretty rocky right now. I don't know how to handle her spending so much time talking to her guy friends(one in particular). Its to the point where I have a lot of rage built up in...

A.   17 October 2009: Simple. Tell her you'd like to start seeing and hanging out with your female friends, and, if you don't have any tell her you'll put an ad in an internet dating site. Seriously. Obviously she doesn't see that she's neglecting you, or worse ig... (read in full...)

My mother is ruining my relationship...what can I do?

Q.   ever since i remember, my mother was in charge of everything. i'm also the youngest one, so i know she's trying to protect me and doesnt want me to get hurt. but that's the problem. i'm 20 and i have a boyfriend for three years now. she knows him ...

A.   17 October 2009: You must tell your mother to bugger-off and leave your love-life to yourself. You alone are in charge of your heart. Inasmuch as your boyfriend and your mother love the same person (YOU), it is YOU who loves them both too. Therefore, yo... (read in full...)

Why was my girlfriend angry with me?

Q.   Last night my girlffriend was annoyed with me and continued berating me even after we had gone to bed. In short she was angry with me for not contacting her as soon as I arrived home. The background goes like this. I work full time and have ear...

A.   17 October 2009: Sometimes we neglect to spend time with each other in relationships. What she's upset about is that it was Friday night, and she probably wanted to surprise you with something, and you being unawares, did something for work which --- she didn't a... (read in full...)

Do men really think in black and white?

Q.   I have heard this saying that "men think in black and white". How true is this? I have past relationships and I know for a fact that once a guy has lost interest in you, there is nothing that can make him lift a finger for you. This makes sense...

A.   17 October 2009: No one thinks in absolutes unless they have once-and-for-all decided an issue. Your ex is having a great deal of 2nd thoughts and emotional pangs as he misses you. If you took the time to talk to him, it seems like he's in an emotional desert... (read in full...)

I like him but he's bi and has a new boyfriend

Q.   Heya, i met this guy about 5 months ago? And since then i've always had a thing for him. I'm a natural flirt, and i never realise im doing it until my female friends tell me, anyway this guy said to me 'Stop your flirting' in a joking way. Now we ...

A.   17 October 2009: You're in a difficult situation. You have to share a guy with other men, and yet you have relationship expectations which are nearly monogamous. You have formed emotional bonds with him that are starting to run very deep, and you are intimate... (read in full...)

I want to know if I'm trying too hard to be a good mother?

Q.   Im a 22 yr old female. I have 1 child. And am married. I want to know if im trying too hard to be a good mother. Im in the type of career that requires me to be away from my family a lot. Example im gone for this year overseas. I really try to give ...

A.   17 October 2009: Spending time with your children is the most important thing. Buying them expensive things, or doting on them in other ways, like indulging their wants, rather than needs, is almost secondary. The job is killing your relationship with your son,... (read in full...)

How do you know if its love or just lust?

Q.   How do you know if you love someone? How do you know it's not just lust? What if you go back out with someone you recently broke up with to find that it was a mistake? Why can't love be easy.. I don't really want to give any more information. I'...

A.   17 October 2009: Love is never easy. To know if you are truly in love with someone, its very simple to understand: 1. There is a deep, emotional connection. 2. You find that when they are away from you, you miss them and you miss being close with them. 3. ... (read in full...)

Should I get ready to be dumped?

Q.   i've been in a relationship for almost 2 years but im constantly upset with him because he does not spend time with me, i invite him to places with me and he says he'll try but never shows up and tells me later he was caught up with somethings, i ...

A.   17 October 2009: Love requires some devotion of emotions, affection and TIME. Time is the most valuable commodity with love. If he can't move heaven and earth to spend time with you, then it means that emotionally, he's distant from you. This could be for se... (read in full...)

I didn't know that I was the "other woman"

Q.   Hi I'm hoping someone can give me some advice. 18 months ago I started seeing this guy, it wasn't meant to be anything serious, we only saw each other once every couple of weeks. However, after about 6-8 months I started to fall in love with him...

A.   17 October 2009: I feel so much empathy for you right now. This is terrible. He lied to you, and deceived you. And you fell in love with a man who, by all accounts, had virtually no real or legitimate emotional attachments to you. You wrote: "I feel really ... (read in full...)

Am I going to resent him for all my suffering? I cheated.

Q.   After 10 yrs and three children, I cheated on my fiance. I dont know how to make him understand that I was going through some serious emotional problems. He feels that I fell inlove with the man, and although some actions gear towards that ...

A.   17 October 2009: This is the part where you have to sit down with your fiance. The only way to heal this situation is for him, your fiance', to understand that you're suffering too. That though you love him very deeply and he's the one; what you did by having th... (read in full...)

My ex is really persistent and I don't know how to deal with it

Q.   Dear Cupid, I have now been single for 10 months. I ended my last relationship due to finding out that my ex of 9 month had a drug addiction to percs and occasionly usued anonomys drugs. With built up hostility I forbid to give him another chan...

A.   17 October 2009: If you have no real feelings towards him, then tell him to find another girl. Love requires a great deal of trust and emotional commitment. I don't see either of those present. His drug use turned you off and you ended your relationship with... (read in full...)

Can a woman have sex with her husband and lover without giving anything away?

Q.   I'm a guy of 54 years and was happily married for 19 years,there have been no Kids,which is the choice of my 44 year old wife (and mine).About six weeks ago I noticed my wife taking the odd call late at night and walking out of ear shot from me,this ...

A.   16 October 2009: Tom with all the best intentions I think your wife has crapped the marriage terribly. I had thought for certain she'd have stayed with GG and made him crazy till he'd thrown her out. Now she's living in a trailer (yes a caravan but here we call ... (read in full...)

Does sex play a huge role in dating?

Q.   How long do you wait for sex with a guy so he doesnt think you are a hoe or slut?...

A.   13 October 2009: If he's the kind of guy that refers to any woman as a slut or any other derogatory term, unless its really provably earned by the other woman, I'd have to say never.... (read in full...)

Is this love?

Q.   Hi all! Really sorry about the rambling to come; if you don't like long questions, it's best to stop now! Well, lets start with the basics: I'm 20, I have (in my opinion) the best bf in the world whom I met in county badminton and at the moment I;...

A.   13 October 2009: From what you're saying, the two of you have matured into quite a loving and intimate relationship. If anything, spending time together, being secure together; enjoying each other's company -- it seems the two of you are definitely a loving couple. ... (read in full...)

My guy seems turned out about hearing my sexual past. Is this normal?

Q.   Is it ever a good idea to give details of your sexual experiences???? My boyfriend is turned on by listening to the details. Is this normal??? Also, to his credit, he is never jealous or angry. Just turned on....

A.   13 October 2009: I think he just wants to know what makes you happy.... (read in full...)

How can I convince myself to trust my boyfriend?

Q.   Im having trust issues with my boyfriend. i know he loves me because of the things that friends tell me and how we are together. however i cant seem to stop myself from thinking he might cheat on me. he reassures me all the time but for some reason ...

A.   13 October 2009: You need to stop right there and think. He cares a lot about you. You're being too clingy, and, you're being far too possessive. He knows this. Here's the thing. If you keep thinking he's going to cheat on you, and you keep acting like he's goi... (read in full...)

Why can't my heart understand what my head does?

Q.   I cant get over this HELP! My bf starting seeing someone else when my mother was dying and I was out of town. I know I should not want to be with him and in my head I can see that he was using me and wasnt kind. But I miss the playfulness and sense ...

A.   11 October 2009: Just cut contact with him. If he persists, tell him you need to be left alone now. Frankly you need to take time out, wait as you said, and when the time is right find someone who's normal and has all the character traits that show you he's wor... (read in full...)

He says he loves me but his actions say something else!

Q.   my boyfriend (together for nearly two years) always tells me he loves me. yet his actions say otherwise to me. for example, (we only see each other most weekends) but when we spend the time together, he hardly cuddles me or cosy up, i try but unless ...

A.   11 October 2009: No. You're not looking for things. You need to sit down with him and ask him to open up to you. It seems you want physical intimacy that involves more than just sex. You want him to be warm, close and physically affectionate towards you. ... (read in full...)

Is my manhood too small?

Q.   hey there, i have what some mite say an unusual question. i have been married for two years and although my wife and i have a great sexual relationship i have never been able to make here cum by just having sex. it always takes a little "rubbing". ...

A.   11 October 2009: Not all women orgasm during penetrative, coital sex. In other words screwing. Try experimenting in other forms and varieties. There's more than one way to have sex you know. Penetration should be the last item on the menu, unless she needs it... (read in full...)

Why do I attract pieces of shit?

Q.   WHY DO I ATTRACT PIECES OF SHIT? I'm having a total break-down! I've been reflection on stuff and I want to scream...........is it me? what am i doing wrong? here's the story: I was with my ex for 13 years!!!(hs bf). He did NOTHING! I went ...

A.   11 October 2009: This one's easy to respond to. The solution: You need to look at the actual character of the man you want in your life. It seems you want: 1. A hard-working guy. That is a guy who goes to work and keeps his job, supports the family, and has ... (read in full...)

What should I do with a husband who has so many addictions?

Q.   ive been married for 5 years now and i made the mistake of not getting to know the man first ,soo i feel responsible for where im at today .before i married him i seen he had a lot of girly magazines around ,told him i will not tolerate porn in my ...

A.   10 October 2009: You need to go to local legal aid and hire a lawyer. If he's got drugs in YOUR house, maybe your lawyer can arrange to have the police bust him and his daughter and kindly haul your trash out the door. Frankly, I have no sympathy for substanc... (read in full...)

Why can't my heart understand what my head does?

Q.   I cant get over this HELP! My bf starting seeing someone else when my mother was dying and I was out of town. I know I should not want to be with him and in my head I can see that he was using me and wasnt kind. But I miss the playfulness and sense ...

A.   10 October 2009: What you just said sums it up: "[B]ut now I see how he lies and is not a good father to his children and deals drugs AND why is this woman living there? Is she just a maid? I know they have sex. My therapist and friends say it doesn't matter I... (read in full...)

Can a woman have sex with her husband and lover without giving anything away?

Q.   I'm a guy of 54 years and was happily married for 19 years,there have been no Kids,which is the choice of my 44 year old wife (and mine).About six weeks ago I noticed my wife taking the odd call late at night and walking out of ear shot from me,this ...

A.   22 September 2009: Tom, sadly you have the blessings of wealth; the blessings of good physical health; and unfortunately the curse of a woman who cannot love you and you alone. The good news is that you will find someone better than her. You have everything in you t... (read in full...)

Can a woman have sex with her husband and lover without giving anything away?

Q.   I'm a guy of 54 years and was happily married for 19 years,there have been no Kids,which is the choice of my 44 year old wife (and mine).About six weeks ago I noticed my wife taking the odd call late at night and walking out of ear shot from me,this ...

A.   9 September 2009: Tom, I think its very hard for your wife to ever explain what went wrong in your marriage. Maybe nothing went wrong and she snapped and fell for an affair merely out of personal boredom. I know that when women hit menopause or have their own m... (read in full...)

Can a woman have sex with her husband and lover without giving anything away?

Q.   I'm a guy of 54 years and was happily married for 19 years,there have been no Kids,which is the choice of my 44 year old wife (and mine).About six weeks ago I noticed my wife taking the odd call late at night and walking out of ear shot from me,this ...

A.   8 September 2009: Tom, You needn't worry. Let your lawyers handle it. I'm sure whenever she attempts to return to an empty home with new locks on the doors, she'll get the message. ... (read in full...)

Can a woman have sex with her husband and lover without giving anything away?

Q.   I'm a guy of 54 years and was happily married for 19 years,there have been no Kids,which is the choice of my 44 year old wife (and mine).About six weeks ago I noticed my wife taking the odd call late at night and walking out of ear shot from me,this ...

A.   5 September 2009: Women have their secret lives. Some of it may involve infidelities, and some may involve emotional infidelities. She may secretly fantasize about the guy at the gym, come home and give you great sex. She may also be getting great sex from both of ... (read in full...)

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