Is ultimatum the wisest thing I can do for myself?
Q. Met this guy for over a month. I play hard to get, he creeps under my skin really smoothly. I set boundaries, he runs on all fours after me. He drives a long way to see me whenever i can squeeze 30mins with him. We have great chemistry, our minds ...
A. 20 August 2009: He's sweet on you. Sounds to me like he doesn't want to marry some unknown quantity, and he sounds like he's fallen for you.... (read in full...)
The man I met online hasn't contacted me
Q. I met a man through an Internet dating site and we had a wonderful meeting. Afterwards he sent me an email saying he had a great and was looking forward to doing it again. This was a week ago and I haven't heard from him since. We are both in our ...
A. 20 August 2009: He could have his reservations. Its hard, sometimes, when you hit late in life, to date people and try and get into another committed relationship, and then find out maybe it was a bad choice. So he has his doubts. He's not young. He doesn't want ... (read in full...)
Is making out with my sister incest?
Q. I could use advice. I was playing with my sister and we started to make out i kissed her and she didnt pull away or get mad.I kissed her more and touched her breast and began to suck them she was just wearing a tank top and tight shorts i began ...
A. 20 August 2009: Okay I'll take a stab at this. I think modern society would probably but the two of you in jail.
However, consenting adults are entitled to do things that do not necessarily harm other people.
The problem I see here is that having sexual re... (read in full...)
Will my husband think I'm a slut if I say yes to all the things he wants me to do?
Q. I have a question: My husband like porn. And certain things that the women there either do, or have done to them. He has mentioned to me stuff that "might be intersting" to do. (That he obviously got from watching this stuff.) Mild bonda...
A. 16 August 2009: If he trusted you enough to ask you about it, I think he wants you to try it with him. So I would say he's just trying to spice things up. Of course if he knows your limits, he should respect them. Its when he doesn't respect your limits that you ... (read in full...)
Is money the most important thing in life?
Q. Is money important? my mum says i should marry someone only for money, and basically im confused because my dad thinks the total opposite(that you should marry for love and money dosn't matter, and you should do anything you want to do and be who ...
A. 16 August 2009: Money provides security but it doesn't provide love. It will provide new and interesting friends, however. But those friends will disappear when the money runs out.
Love's better, but money definitely helps.... (read in full...)
My ex wants to be next in my life
Q. Here's the deal, several years ago I was heartbroken by an ex that tore out my heart and threw it in the trash:(, so sad I know, but moving on I've moved on since then, I mean my God that was high school lol. But I think about her here and there ...
A. 16 August 2009: Its very hard to take someone back that trashed you out like that. I am going through that now as she revolved in and out of my life, and this time the break was excruciating. I would advise caution and make sure there's more of an emotional com... (read in full...)
He spat on my vagina to lubricate it! Now I don't want him to touch me!
Q. While making love, my vagina was a bit dry so my partner spat into my vagina to lubricate it. i feel so degraded by this i cannot bear him to touch me since. Am i over reacting?...
A. 16 August 2009: I guess he didn't realize that this offended you. Its not unusual. Saliva is better than other fluids.... (read in full...)
What do you do if someone is giving you the silent treatment?
Q. What do you do if someone is giving you the silent treatment? I have told them I will not contact them again as they obviously dont want to speak to me, and I know I must not break my word now that i have said that or i would look stupid. but what ...
A. 16 August 2009: Sometimes people don't want to hear from you and don't want you to talk to them. This is probably one of those situations. I would not pester this person.... (read in full...)
My ex boyfriend screws up all my new affairs, what to do?
Q. Dear readers, Im having problems with my emotional love life. It started a couple years ago when I broke up with the perfect guy, and i'm not overreacting about this, he was really the love of my life. After that, i've been with other guys but...
A. 15 August 2009: If he's perfect for you, why are you seeing other people? Why did you break up with him in the first place? It seems to me he keeps popping up because you want him to.
Maybe you're doing something to contact him in between? Or let him know you... (read in full...)
Separated from husband because I cheated... should I visit him when I'm next in his area?
Q. Dear All, I have separated from my husband six months ago. And we are living in different cities. I am going to the city where he lives next week. I still have feelings for him. But I have hurt him very badly in the past. I have a lot of guilt reg...
A. 15 August 2009: I'm a bit torn on this one. But it seems to me that you had an affair for some reason. You don't want sex with your husband. What I think you want is for him to forgive you.
What I don't see is some commitment to restart your marriage.
I think... (read in full...)
I did many things for her, though she care for a married man, nothing from her in two months, was I used?
Q. The big question Have I done the right thing and have I been used I met a woman about 3 years ago and we got on from day 1. She was seing a married man who she had been seing for 2 years and she used to talk how she felt and how upset she was. We...
A. 15 August 2009: Nix the cash. She used you. Get on with your life. She's hung up on the married man and you're just a crutch in her life.... (read in full...)
Used just for sex?
Q. why are relationships so hard to maintain? how can you tell when a guy is only using you for sex? can a boy be to good to be true? -help? xxxx...
A. 15 August 2009: I think the real answer to your question lies in how your male partner is treating you.
If he is good to you, tends to listen to what it is that interests you and wants to be with you both in and out of bed, its a safe bet he is into you enough t... (read in full...)
Why do men/women cheat on their husband/wife?
Q. Why do men/women cheat on their husband/wife? Is it just because they can't resist a beautiful person? Is it because they aren't fully committed? Well then, why did they get married in the first place? Is it because their spouse changes? I love my...
A. 15 August 2009: You seem insecure. The answer to your question can generally be grouped into a few areas:
1. Marital bordeom. Some spouses once they have settled into the marital grand ennui, tend to forget all the qualities and little things that attracte... (read in full...)
Should I keep trying to make this relationship work?
Q. Should I keep trying to make this relationship work? I have known my partner for 9 years. We are in late 30s ealry 40s. We nearly got together twice before but remained close friends and then finally three years ago we did. She had many partners...
A. 15 August 2009: She's not ready to settle down with anyone including you. Its time to just like her, ask her to let you go and you will be happy to be with someone else. She may stop her philandering, but it seems to me she has a desire to rely on many men to c... (read in full...)
When does the heartache finally end?
Q. My husband left me a few months ago. We were together eleven years and married nearly five. We have a little boy who was nearly three when he left. He basically left me as he was seeing someone else. It all happened extremely quickly and I didnt see ...
A. 15 August 2009: The heartbreak you are experiencing is the division between love and hate. You loved him once, you want to hate him now; and you want him to atone for hurting you so deeply.
I feel nothing but sympathy for you, but in the business of "affairs... (read in full...)
How can I fix my overgrown labia??
Q. i think my labia sticks out too much. is it possible for it to stick out? is there something wrong with it? if there is, can i fix it somehow?...
A. 15 August 2009: As a guy, it makes no difference to me. Some women enjoy having large labia and they can be quite sensitive. So when engaging in various acts of pleasure, they can be incorporated to add to that spark needed to release that pent up orgasm.... (read in full...)
Is the married man I'm seeing the one for me?
Q. I really don't know how to put this without seeming like the bad guy or appearing incredibly stupid. But I am going to try as I really need advice even though it seems so stupid. I have been seeing a married man for over 2 years now. He is slightly ...
A. 15 August 2009: I agree with you when you say you're way over your head on this one.
He's living in a captain's paradise. His wife means more to him than you do.
The point is, you need to find someone that is devoted to you. Not someone that flings with you ... (read in full...)
My husband seems to have taken a vacation from work just to sit around all day eating and watching porn!
Q. My husband has taken 6 weeks off work. Nothing odd about that you may think, after all we all have to have a holiday, don't we? Well, it's his behaviour that's worrying me. He just sits in front of the television eating nachos, corn c...
A. 15 August 2009: Mid-life crisis. "Is this as good as it gets?"
One way to shake him up is simply to tell him that if he's going to slum around all day, then the very least he can do is start paying attention to you and making good use of the time. That means st... (read in full...)
Do I try again... or do I move on?
Q. Five years ago I met the love of my life, the girl of my dreams. It was not a stress free relationship, she was still married but seperated from her husband who was addicted to drugs and a loose cannon. She has twin girls who my son and I also got ...
A. 15 August 2009: I hate to be the one to say this to you, but you are fortunate to have found someone else to open your heart to.
Speaking from personal experience, and I can assure you that something very similar just happened to me, if you find a woman that has... (read in full...)
I'm so in love with my ex and she has blocked me on her phone for the 2nd time
Q. i need help. any advise? i am so crazy in love with my ex girlfriend it is sickening. we have been apart for about a month and a half now. i took the step and called her yesterday from a pay phone due to her blocking my cell phone number previously. ...
A. 15 August 2009: OCD is an insidious disease. With the proper medication you can control it. The problem is the effect it has on the people who truly love you.
You need to focus on improving your OCD through behavioral modification techniques so that you are not ... (read in full...)
Advice for a schizophrenic brother
Q. Hi I am looking for help with my brother who has bee diagnosed with schizophrenia. My brother has been very sick for about three years, but was probably sick before that. I would love to hear practical solutions from anyone who has experience or ...
A. 15 August 2009: Unfortunately schizophrenia is a lifelong affliction. Few if any people ever suddenly get better though a few have.
Those schizophrenics who live with elderly parents are more likely to be abusive towards them. So it is not a good idea for him ... (read in full...)
Does this mean he cheated on me?
Q. i've been with my boyfriend for three and a half years and i got tested for s.t.d.s two years ago and was clean. Now I just got chlamadia and he's the only guy I've been with. Does that mean he cheated on me?...
A. 14 August 2009: Sounds suspicious. If he has it, then he has to be treated too or else he's going to spread it across the planet.
He also needs to be honest with you and tell you how many people he's been with. It sounds like you have a lot of questions and he b... (read in full...)
I can't deal with the affair I'm having with my teacher knowing I will lose him one day
Q. Am in emotional turmoil. Please don't pass moral judgment on me because I know that I will seem wrong. I lost my virginity the other day to my married former teacher. We have the most intense, intimate, amazing friendship I know I will ever expe...
A. 14 August 2009: Well at least your virginity was not wasted. To answer your question, its a realistic probability that your relationship has already ended as you foretold in the question.
The fact of the matter is that teachers should refrain from entering... (read in full...)
At what point should you give up?
Q. Everyone goes through heart breaks-it's part of life. Many recover and move on and each takes their own time and healing process. OK that's the theory but in real life, with each heart break comes another layer of protection. Any new relatio...
A. 14 August 2009: This is a philosophical issue that I am currently struggling with in my 50's. I have had both love and heartbreak and the last one was intensely painful. I opened my heart up to someone who made my life wonderful and who, tragically, and ... (read in full...)
We are so compatible and in love, but I am ashamed of his career. Should I still marry him?
Q. I have been seeing this guy for a couple of months. We have alot in common and get along very well. We are so mcuh in love and he treats melike a goddess. He is handsome and charming. The problem is am not proud of his job. There is a very big ...
A. 14 August 2009: Many women marry men "beneath" them on the career totem pole.
The problem is that your job is a job. If a man truly loves you and has devoted his heart to you, then what he does for a living should not affect his dedication to you. You are not ... (read in full...)
My wife finally confessed about her affair, do you think we could ever be happy again?
Q. i am married for the last twenty two years to a beautiful woman who i taught was my soulmate for life. for the first fifteen years we had a wonderful marriage and have five beautiful children. seven years ago my wife started a new job and everything ...
A. 14 August 2009: It happens. Stop agonizing over it. She's already hurting over it too. You need to spend more time with her and flatter her. Its not the fact that she had sex with another man that bothers you. Its the fact that you have doubts. Maybe... (read in full...)
Married People: How often do you have sex and how often would you like to have sex if possible?
Q. A few friends and I were chatting the other day about our sex lives. For the most part, we feel they are ok....maybe a little more time for sex would be nice and a little more foreplay, but overall, not bad. Our husbands, however, feel th...
A. 14 August 2009: The trick is making time for the two of you. You need to do this in different ways. In the old days, people worked a 9 to 5 job. But kids make things difficult because they demand time. So the best thing to do is to make time, maybe set aside ... (read in full...)
Why do people care if their partner cheats on them?
Q. Why do people care if their partner cheats on them? I mean I wouldn't care less if my girlfriend cheated on me with various men, it's her body so she can do what she wants. As long as the person uses protection I don't see a problem. Humans in...
A. 14 August 2009: Some people tolerate open relationships. There's nothing wrong with what you said, what complicates it is not the physical aspects, its the emotional aspects.
It seems human society prefers monogamy because it stabilizes communities, insures ... (read in full...)
Men, please help me? Is watching tranny porn normal?
Q. Almost a year ago this month we met. He was obsessed with my sex!! Wanted it all the time, everyday every night....now he is always tired when he comes home from work. Or he complains about how it sucks getting old his body is out of shape. I left ...
A. 14 August 2009: Child porn is serious. I have my reservations here. I think he's got problems that need to be addressed by professionals.... (read in full...)
Am I meant to shave or what if we have sex?
Q. This is a weird question I know I'm 15 yr old female currently in a relationship I've done things to him but I won't let him do anything to me because I'm worried.. Am I meant to shave or what if we have sex? It's worrying me if I do it wrong? ...
A. 14 August 2009: I assume this is not facial hair. So if both of you are hairless down stairs, I would suppose it will be quite delightful. But I would never recommend that a 15 year old girl have sex. At your age its better to wait a bit, mature and learn that sex ... (read in full...)
My husband doesn't know that I found out about his cheating, what should I do?
Q. My husband tells me he loves me but he has been texting this lady since 2008 up until now. I see the number on the phone bill but he doesn't know I know. What should I do?...
A. 14 August 2009: Ask him if he's unhappy in your relationship and ask him to tell you what it is that's bothering him. There's a lot of issues going on there. The fact that you're being tolerant and not jealous tells me that you are very strong and more concerned ... (read in full...)
How can I learn to live with knowing that he doesn't find me attractive? Is that even important?
Q. My husband told me before me we married that he does not look at porn, but about 6 months ago I caught him at it, and he admitted he has been doing it throughout our 2 year marriage. When we were dating, he couldn't keep his hands off me and wanted ...
A. 14 August 2009: He needs to stop looking at porno queens and start focusing on the real woman that wants him. A little porn spices things up. A lot of porn is an addiction. With all the porn he's been looking at its desensitized him to normal sexual activitie... (read in full...)
What's the big deal about letting a man ejaculate in a woman's mouth?
Q. Why is it that alot of people have a problem with the question of a woman giving oral sex and letting a man ejaculate in her mouth or her swallowing? I ask it and some feel the need to humiliate or belittle or call me a jerk or use the word "de...
A. 14 August 2009: The love of my life has never had any problem with taking me into her mouth or swallowing. And frankly, I have performed oral sex on her during her period and never complained because I wanted her to be happy and I wanted her to have orgasms.
... (read in full...)
To the men out there - do you get excited by the idea of seeing your wife having sex with another man?
Q. I would like to see my wife having sex with another man, the thought excites me. Does any other male have this feeling....
A. 14 August 2009: Not particularly. But I have been in a relationship where I and another man pleasured my woman and so to that extent I was more interested in her enjoying it than excited that another guy was doing her.
Its all a matter of perspective. Some guy... (read in full...)
Why would she want to have sex with me with a penis that size?
Q. Ok. I'm really embarrassed. Have been all my life. It's just i have a really small penis. Its 10cm erect, and I HATE myself because of it. I recently got my first girlfriend, and i have done 'stuff' for her, but she hasn't for me, because i keep ...
A. 14 August 2009: If it will make you feel better, the average size is shy of 6 inches erect or thereabouts. Its not the size its what you do for the woman you love. If she loves you, the size of your penis won't matter. Think of the guy who has a baseball bat for a ... (read in full...)
Negative sexual experiences affecting current relationship
Q. I won't go into details, but a few years ago I had some really bad sexual experiences. I've been with my current boyfriend for a little over 5 months now and things are fantastic between us. We also have amazing sex, and a lot of it. Recently, ...
A. 14 August 2009: You need to go see a rape counselor. This sounds like some sort of sexual abuse issue or emotional abuse.... (read in full...)
I've been cheating on my wife because she won't blow me.
Q. Hi. my problem is i love blow jobs so so much but my wife doesn't like to give them (she says it hurts her mouth too much cos I'm quite big, which i don't think i am) i have even on a few occasions gone else where for them but would like to receive ...
A. 14 August 2009: Some women do not enjoy giving oral sex to men. It could be a number of factors. Likewise some men don't like giving oral sex to women. As they say, its an acquired taste. The point is that she might have several hangups, or maybe you ne... (read in full...)
I love my boyfriend, but I need to leave him. How do I hurt him as little as possible?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for three years and we've lived together for most of that time. We've had our ups and downs, but the biggest problems are that he's sterile (which I've known about but I'm starting to really want kids), he can be overly ...
A. 14 August 2009: You shouldn't do this. I think what's going on is the fact that you haven't addressed these issues with him. Maybe there's a way for you to do something nearby and make sense of your time when he's not around you. He's sensitive and posses... (read in full...)
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