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Things started to go bad after he found out I was working as a prostitute...

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 August 2007) 3 Answers - (Newest, 31 August 2007)
A female South Africa age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hi..

I was in a relationship with this guy for 2 years and we were also engaged....He found out that i was working as a prostitute and he was so angry and after some time he said he forgave me..Everything seemed like it was fine and we even went away for a weekend together after all this...Two weeks after the weekend away we had afight because i changed sim cards on my phone and after that fight he dumped me and said things are not working out...A week after that i read his messages on his phone and i found out that he was seeing someone or chatting to them...When he realised that i found out he got so mad and told me that i am stupid for looking at his messages and that he has never met anyone so selfish...I packed my things and said i will move to my momms place cause i was hurt,he then took all that he had bought for me and said that i am not leaving with them...After i came down i decided that i was not going to leave cause i love him and i wanted to work things out..We carried on leaving together and he does his own things,goes out at night and comes back what ever time he feels like...One night he went out,came back drunk excited that he had won money at athe casino and he slept in my room..The following morning he wamted to have sex and we did, he even told me that it felt so good and that i am so sexy, i touch him so nicely and so on...Yesterday night he was complaining that he was itchy next to his manhood and i wanted to see what was wrong, he said no why am i looking at his manhood..I got so hurt and i told him that he just had sex with me on Sunday and now suddenly i am a stranger, he got irritated and said well i will not have sex with you anymore..I cried myself to sleep because i was so hurt and in the morning i told him that what he haid said hurt me, he then said i always create drama even when we were still together...I dont know what to do...I love him so much and i want to be with him..It just hurts so much..

View related questions: drunk, engaged, money, prostitute

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A female reader, smeedle United Kingdom +, writes (31 August 2007):

smeedle agony auntOh dear, you are in a relationship that is not ever going to be equal or work. He is treating you badly now and is in effect treating you like a prostitute, you are there for sex with him when and if he wants it and to pay you he compliments you and you fall for it.

Im assuming that you are no longer a prostitute as if you are maybe you have passed an STD onto him, if you are not or have been very careful then you need to go to clinic if he is sore or itching as he may have been sleeping with someone else and picked up lice etc.

Both of you really are destructive for one another and whilst I know you love him, he is a swine to you and you should have told him you were a prostitute from the beginning as then he could have made an informed choice about to date you or not.

Both of you have lied in one way or another and there are just somethings that cannot be mended or forgotton by a sorry.

End this relationship before it drags both of you down futher.

You will get over him you know, just need guts to finish it and time to heal the pain.

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A female reader, O Connor Ireland +, writes (31 August 2007):

O Connor agony auntare you still working as a prostitute? the thing is that unless you stop this lifestyle,he will never feel comfortable knowing that you are sleeping with other men,this would make him feel insecure and jealous.this could be the reason why he is picking fights with you because he is hurting.i think that you should consider giving this up and talking to him,saying that you understand if he is hurting and confused because of it.it sounds as if there is no trust in this relationship and unless the both of you are willing to start over and start trusting eachother then it wont work.i dont think that you should have read any of his messages also,things like this would just add fuel to the fire.talk to him and give prostitution up,it may seem like a great way to make easy money but it is a very dangerous job and you should get out while you still can. i hope this helps if you want to talk about this further dont hesitate to email me.xxx

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A female reader, TELLULAH United Kingdom +, writes (31 August 2007):

TELLULAH agony auntFor gods sake!!!

This is never going to work while you work as a prostitute is it?.

If you love him get a normal job, and maybe he will change. I would very much doubt there are many men that could put up with there girlfriend doing this kind of work. Also what right do you have to get jelous over his comings and goings, when you have sex with other men for money.

Dont get me wrong I have no problem with anyone in the sex industry, but surely you can see that it causes problems. Do you know any happily married prostitutes?. The only girls I have met that do this are very unhappy girls that have been treated like crap by men.

Why they then turn to having sex with them has always baffled me.

Sorry to be hard, but you live in an extremly hard world. And thats the sort of thing you are going to let yourself in for. Do yourself a favour and get out of it now. No good will ever come of it.

Its good money easily earned, but you pay dearly in the end. If you get a nasty customer one day, it could be with your life.

Please take care XXX much love

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