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I'm 14 and the 22 year old guy I met online wants to meet me!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 August 2007) 20 Answers - (Newest, 9 November 2007)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I met this boy over a chat room started talking but the problem is hes 22 im only 14 i know hes not an old man or anything becasue he sent me a picture with my name on i told him first that i thought he was a fake but now i know hes not.

He wants to meet up with me but im not sure i want 2.

I mean i would but just not yet, Hes one of the nicest people well boys i have ever talked 2. You dont get many like that i really like him but just simply dont know what to do please help x

View related questions: chat room, met online

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A female reader, Zanza United States +, writes (9 November 2007):

Zanza agony auntHey. Personally I think this is a bad idea. He may be nice and cute. But most guys know just how to sweet talk a girl just so they can get in your pants. I know being young and talking to an older guy makes feel good about yourself because he seems interested in you. But everything this guy has told you about himself could be a lie and that picture was most likely a fake. Please dont meet this person, I would hate to see anything really bad happen to you after meeting him. So take this advice and do the right thing.

mail me if you would like to talk about this!! take care

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A male reader, rcn United States +, writes (9 November 2007):

rcn agony auntYour right you don't get many like that. Be a bit more careful. These older guys have experience and they know how to play you, they know how to catch your heart, and they know how to destroy you as they seek out their next victim. Watch yourself, or you may end up loosing to their game.

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A male reader, sealmire United States +, writes (9 November 2007):

sealmire agony aunthonestly its time to call CHRIS HANSON on DATELINE NBC "SERIOUSLY"

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A female reader, war37 United Kingdom +, writes (13 September 2007):

This guy should be reported to the police,if this was your best friend wanting to meet a stranger from the net at least 6 years older than her what would you say.Severe contact with him and report him to the police........Please dont meet him if you have to take an adult in there 30's with you as its not worth the risk,if he has a problem with an adult coming with you then hes dodgy.

Please let us know what you decide xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2007):

For the saftey of you i would'nt go meet him without an adult. I am 14 years old also but the thing is, those guys are considered pedophiles( or child rapists). They may seem like the nicest and greatest people, but they can ruin your life. If i was in your shoes, i wouldn't go meeting him at all, instead i would call the cops because he might try to get another underage girl and do bad things to her.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2007):

Paedophiles have found greater success in stalking their prey online. I suspect he is older than what he states and his sexual desires are WRONG and unhealthy.

Where are your parents? What have they to say about it? IF you haven't gone to your parents for advice then you already know you shouldn't be going to meet a stranger. It is easy for anyone to pretend to be someone while they hide behind a computer screen.

Ask him to meet at your local police department and to get his criminal history. Tell him you will meet him with either your Mom or Dad present. That are the conditions to meeting a stranger.

Make it a rule.

You'll soon find that no stranger who has less than innocent intentions will stay clear away from you.

PLease be wise and protect yourself and never meet strangers from online.

Please go to your parents.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2007):

Dont meet up with this man he is 22 and ur only 14 he wont be wantin to meet you to talk he could do anything to you!! do the right thing for ur own good!!

good luck

xxx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2007):

I dont think you should meet up with this guy! just because he is only 22 doesn't mean he could be anyone u dont know him and u dont know what he is capibal of ur only 14 u should just find someone ur age x

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A female reader, marciii United States +, writes (1 September 2007):

Don't meet up with him. First of all, he's an older man and you are 14. Why do you think a guy that is 20-something want to meet up with a 14 year old girl? To talk? nooo..He's probably some creepster..

Look out for yourself and don't put yourself in a risky situation.

Best of luck!

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A female reader, pink_fairy22 United Kingdom +, writes (31 August 2007):

pink_fairy22 agony auntWhat ever you do dont meet up with him, thats the problem with talking to people online you can pretend to be whoever you want. He may seem nice to you but thats what he wants you to think, there are far too many pedophiles these days to trust anyone you talk to online. That picture could be of anyone. I dont want to sound mean but i am going to just tell you the truth, a man at the age of 22 isnt really going to be interested in someone the age of 14, he is most probably only wanting one thing from you which is obviously sex. There are a lot of nice genuine guys out there dont get me wrong but please dont meet up with people online its not the way.

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A female reader, DrPsych United Kingdom +, writes (31 August 2007):

DrPsych agony auntIn the UK, sexual grooming of anyone under the age of 16 years is a criminal offence. I am sure it is the same where you are. If he really is 22 (I doubt that - he could send you a picture of anyone!) then he is very inadequate if he is interested in a girl of your age. It may seem great from your point of view to have all this attention from an older male but any right-minded adult would tell you that his intentions are just not good. Even if his intentions are honorable (they aren't!) then he must have many personal shortcomings as a person to need to befriend someone who is much younger. Tell your parents what is happening and don't meet the guy. Your parents should tell the police because if he is talking to you on the net, you are one of many girls and you could save someone from being abused by this man.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2007):

Chances are that he is older than 22. But even if he is not, there is something wrong with him for wanting to meet a 14 year old online. He is after 1 thing and 1 thing only. SEX. And that is at best. He could be a murderer and a rapist.

I know he sounds so nice, but I met a guy online too, and we talked for about a year and I didn't meet him b/c I started finding lies out about him. He told me he was looking for a wife. I later found he was married and had been with prostiututes, etc. He is a sex addict. I almost fell for his lies, but luckily my instinct told me to hold off. What I did was I made a fake profile on Yahoo, and put a fake pic on it. I then instant messaged him with the fake profile. He told the fake girl lies too. He was just trying to get laid. He probably had aids, he had been with hundreds of women sexually and this is how he did it by lieing to them, making them think they were special, and that he was looking for a wife to love and take care of. He also lied about his age.

I honestly thought I cared for him. But I learned that he was lieing and I felt betrayed. Even if this guy is not lieing to you (which I HIGHLY doubt) then he is looking to be a pedophile and sexual predator by trying to get sex from a young 14 year old girl. He is sick. Take it from adults who are more experienced in life-Do Not trust him. The only reason a grown man would try to meet young girls online is to take advantage of them for sex.

Make a fake profile with an attractive girls picture and instant message him. If he asks where he knows you from, say we chatted in a chat room a few months ago. Then proceed to see him trying to get her too. Because you are nothing spacial to this guy, he's doing this with other yong girls too. Probably at the same time that he is chatting with you.

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A female reader, 88jane United Kingdom +, writes (31 August 2007):

88jane agony auntlike the other posts have said, this is incredibly dangerous and this man could be lying to you about everything!!! you shouldnt ever meet anyone off a chat room until you are an adult and even then i would urge you to be extremely cautious and only meet with a group of friends! anyway, if this guy is 22 as he said then it is illegal for him to have sexual relations with you and im sorry but guys at that age are going to want that (well most of them)!you shouldnt have sexual relationships until you are at least 16 years old!!

i would suggest flirting with guys your own age that you know!!! please dont meet this stranger!!

take care of yourself!!

xxx

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A female reader, stina United States +, writes (31 August 2007):

stina agony auntAnonymous,

What you're doing is very dangerous. You said that you know he's not lying, but he very well could be. He could be grabbing the pictures he sends you from any one of the countless myspace sites. And anyone with any kind of art program - even paint - can write a name on a picture. Writing a name on a picture is in no way proving that this man is actually who he says he is.

"Hes one of the nicest people well boys i have ever talked 2." That's how online predators act so that you are brainwashed into trusting them. If he doesn't gain your trust, then there's no way that you'd ever want to meet him.

I think this man is a liar. Has he told you his full name? Have you double checked it with a home address? What about comparing that to his ip address? And double checking his phone number with his address and name? Have you done a search of his name online? What about in police records? Does he have a job? Where - and what is the phone number? Did you call them to verify that the guy works there? You need to make sure everything - and I mean EVERYTHING - matches up. DON'T give your address or phone number to him. And DON'T tell him anything personal. He may use that against you one day. Be sure that you have all of your online conversations with him saved - you may need them one day.

If you still want to meet him, then tell your parents. And have him meet you at a PUBLIC place with your parents present.

Sorry, but I just don't think this is a good idea. If I were you, I would cut contact with this guy. I have been in your position before, only it got dangerous. The man turned out to be a criminal. He was deported from England for stalking a woman and then he found me in the states. He wanted me to meet him in New Mexico and when I told him no, he threatened to kill my father. He had a huge network of computers at his house, several disposable cell phones and had a very organized system to trap and brainwash young women and girls into trusting him. I just don't want you to be pulled into the same nightmare that happened to me.

Be careful.

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A male reader, duce00 United States +, writes (31 August 2007):

duce00 agony auntPure and simple. THIS IS WRONG! He can and should be considered a sexual predator. Did you ever think that maybe hes dangerous? Dont you think that a 22 yr shouldnt be trying to "hook up" with you? Please, please, please use your head here. Your flirting with disaster.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (31 August 2007):

kenny agony auntDon't do it, the problem with people we speak to on the internet is we never really know who or what we are dealing with. This guy could be anybody and the consequences of you meeting him could be disasterous. Also its not right that a 22 year old man would be interested in meeting with a 14 year old girl.

Please please don't meet this guy, ok so he could be genuine but it is not worth taking that chance.

Take care x

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A female reader, HeartbrokenHere United Kingdom +, writes (31 August 2007):

heya girl,

well your 14, hes 22. for all you know he could be lying, even though you say hes not, you really never know. the picture could be of his son, nephew or someone rfom his family. i had the same problem except i fell in love with the guy and we didnt meet up. We still talk but hes going to university soon so im startin to loose feeling for him. If you do meet this person, take a mate or two, Go to a very busy place, like a cafe, restaurant so our surrounded by people and that your safe. I dont think you should meet him, but its your choice. Feel free to msg me personally, im willin 2 support you on this. Il talk 2 you anytime u need me 2:).

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (31 August 2007):

eyeswideopen agony auntFirst off this is no BOY he's a full grown man. He is also looking at jail if he soliciting underage girls on the internet. Do not meet up with this perv unless you want to become a statistic, honeybun. No, nope, nada.

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A female reader, smeedle United Kingdom +, writes (31 August 2007):

smeedle agony auntDon`t do it, he is not a boy he is a man and there is a big age difference, a bloke his age should not be looking for girls 14yrs.

Just because his pic looks real it still may not be, I work with sex offenders and they can make pictures look real by adding names etc.

Please please do not meet him, and stop chatting to him.

Have any of the chats been of a sexual nature?

Im not saying he is a sex offender just that you have to be aware that he maybe and even if he is genuine then it is just not right for a 14yr old to meet up with a 22yr old who she has met on internet.

Your instinct is not to meet with him, go with this and don`t, our instincts are usually right!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2007):

Don't meet up with him, he is way too old for you and it's creepy a man that age wants to meet a 14yr old girl. You shouldn't really meet anyone off the chatrooms for romance, or at least till your an grown adult.

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