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How do I know if she had sex with him before we married?

Tagged as: Marriage problems, The ex-factor, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 April 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 28 April 2008)
A male India age 36-40, *shu writes:

sir actaually i got married six months before.before to marriege my fiance told me one day that she was a relationship with a boy and they were only best friends not more then that.now their relation is broke up. i was not having any problem on this relationship and as per her statement that their realtion is broke up . i got married. after marriege i got come to know that she was having a great relationship with him. but i don't know whether she had made any sexual relationship with him. her statement was different before marriege and now it is different. i want to know the truth. what should i do? how should i treat her? mainly i want to where she had an sexual realtion with him? after knowing the reality how should i treat with her?i am very confused. each and every time that is going in my mind.even i was not having any realtion with anybody elese before marriege.

View related questions: best friend, broke up, fiance

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A female reader, citron Canada +, writes (28 April 2008):

There's a reason she's married to you and not him. If you can't ask her to talk about her past without her fearing a crazy reaction, then you need to relax a bit.

What does it matter if she did have sex with him before you were married? That was before you were married! Before she fell in love with you!

If she did, she may regret it, but she wouldn't have known then that you would change her life. Just please remember that she CHOSE YOU. The past doesn't matter now, only your future together.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2008):

You need to let this go before it ruins your relationship. Is it really that important? It was BEFORE you! If you can't get over it there's going to be a few more after you.

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A female reader, smeedle United Kingdom +, writes (25 April 2008):

smeedle agony auntTruth, well you probably never will know if she had sex with this person before she married you.

you could ask her to be honest with you but what if she does tell you the truth and it is that she had great sex with this bloke, what will that do to your head.

You are married to her now and im guessing until you found out about the other bloke, you were happy with her and you did marry her so im asuming you love her.

Can you not just try and look at what YOU have with her, focus on making your marriage a good one and having a better than fantastic sexual relationship with her.

Forget this guy as even if you were told the truth, would you belive it!!

Be happy with her and the here and now and the future, leave the past in the past.

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