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... Send *handygirl a private message | | | *handygirl's profile:Hi everyone!
I am 53yrs old and got married for the first time at the age of 42. I am now in a pending divorce.
I have been completely on my own since I was 18 yrs old. I came from a very strict family, which also means that I was sheltered from the world, and was very naive at that age.
When left home, I had tons of adverse & dangerous experiences, and had to learn everything the hard way ... alone.
When I read a question that reminds me of an event that was in my life, or the life of a friend, I reply honestly, empathy, and to THE POINT.
We ALL need advice from time to time, that is how I found this wonderful website, because I also needed help.
So here we are... friends who probably will never meet each other face to face, but who are of great value to each other. I appreciate all of you! Thank you for helping me with my questions, and I'll try my best to answer yours, while looking out for your interests, also. |
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He is asking me to marry him but his age is an imposing hinderance to me...
Q. Iam 24 years of age. i have recently met a 42 year old man who is very kind, loving and considerate in evry possible way. However, the age difference between us makes me fear to commit to him. he is asking me to marry him but his age is an imposing ...
A. 15 July 2008: And the problem is????
My ex husband was 15 years older than me... It didn't bother me AT ALL. I would have stayed with him forever, except he didn't treat me well.
Where there is LOVE...age doesn't matter.... you are BOTH adults.... (read in full...)
Is she or has she cheated on me?
Q. Long story!! Me and my gf have been together for 3 years now, and always been happy together till last summer. firstly, a while back, last summer, her pops was v. ill and needed looking after. She concentrated her efforts on him (too right) i...
A. 11 July 2008: WOW! You almost wrote a BOOK! ha ha ... I am teasing.
It sounds to me as though possibly she hasn't or isn't cheating... but maybe interested in this guy. Or they HAVE become friends and she didn't introduce you to him because she didn't want... (read in full...)
I won't have an opportunity to lose my virginity until I'm 18, what do I do?
Q. Hi, im 15 turning 16 this year and my mom got a job in Bamfield and there is nobody under the age 25. I come back to my home town for 1 week of the month. Ill be 18 when i come back permenantly. Im dont want to be 19 and a virgin. I dont want to ...
A. 11 July 2008: If you don't wait until you meet someone really special, and he has the same feelings for you... then your first time (just for the sake of not being a virgin anymore) will be a disaster. And when your first time isn't good, it will negatively ... (read in full...)
I'm struggling to "get it up". Any advice?
Q. Hi im 22 years old have had a good sex life up to about 3 months ago and I now struggle to get it up. I had a girl I was seeing for a bit very good looking and we both liked each other alot and it just wouldnt happen it did sort of a couple times ...
A. 11 July 2008: This may sound harsh... but If you masturbate often... then stop. It could make it difficult to be able to have sex with a girl because it keeps you from having "the hunger." ... (read in full...)
My husband has an inappropriate relationship with his yoga instructor. What should I do?
Q. I am a married 47 year old woman who has been married for 17 years. My husband is a salesman...he is on the road constantly....he pretty much does and has the freedom to do whatever he likes. Recently my husband has become extremely friend...
A. 10 July 2008: I also am with you girl!
As I grew older, I have gotten to a point where I am a little on the BOLDER side. If I were you, I would go with him to Yoga Class, and introduce yourself to the instructor. Nicely..."Hi, I am his wife, pleased to meet... (read in full...)
My ex has started to drink occasionally, I just do not want this to become a habit or the only way she can feel happy!
Q. Lets see where do I begin....My X and I have had a good relationship. She is 21 and I am 26. Communication was always somewhat of an issue because I always felt like she was timid about expressing concerns to me. We had our fights and disputes but ...
A. 10 July 2008: An occasional drink isn't a bad thing. Some people have addictive personalities to where they get hooked on substances, and some don't.
I used to drink a lot when I was in my 20's, but I got tired of having hangovers, so I quit. My boyfriend that... (read in full...)
I believed women are devils to deceive men - but I want to change
Q. ex me 4 my en in the past i had a terrible love feeling with one of my classmate and after that i believed some : - women are devils to deceit men - love is a ordinary matter that every one may face with - girls and women try to .... me (can't ...
A. 10 July 2008: You sound very bitter. Quit it.
Men deceive women also. There is good and bad in everyone. You will find a nice girl some day. And when you do... treat her the way You would want to be treated.
I am 53yrs old. I have been hurt by men, and... (read in full...)
How can I deal with this bullying and nastiness?
Q. hi everyone I am not sure if this is the right place to come but I seem to have run out of places for help. Ok my problem is this. I am an Australian girl who is living in England. The problem is I hate it, my dad is here for work for another 2 ye...
A. 10 July 2008: When I was your age, I had the same problem, and I had to physically fight all the time. But things are different now a days. Now the law gets involved in such incidents in this country.
Have you tried talking to a teacher or the head of the scho... (read in full...)
My girlfriend accused me of domestic abuse. Does she have a point?
Q. My girlfriend and i have not been getting along so well recently. She has recently accused me of domestic abuse which i have denied..... however i looked up the term and am now unsure as to whether my behaviour could be termed as such...... i have ...
A. 10 July 2008: You are emotionally and mentally abusing her.
Stop!
There are ways of saying things without putting an attitude into it. If you have something to say... say it calmly and resist the urge to say anything to her that is hurtful.
If you plan on ... (read in full...)
How can you tell if an older guy likes you online?
Q. how to know if an older guy likes you even though we haven't met before, we're only have a conversation on the net?...
A. 10 July 2008: Agreed with Tigger3165. I was the anonymous answerer. I wanted to make a point.
If you DO meet him, do so in a public place and with a friend. Don't go anywhere alone with him for a long time, and don't let him know where you live for a whil... (read in full...)
It's tempting to leave home right now. I can (just about) wait. Have I got it all wrong?
Q. Hello, I'm a 17 year old girl. I live with my parents in a nice house in a small town in England. We have a cat and a goldfish pond. And to be totally honest, I'm gonna go insane if I stay here too much longer. Don't get me wrong - I apprecia...
A. 9 July 2008: With your parents it is clean, warm, safe, you don't have to struggle making money to eat, have a place to live, or pay bills...and they are there to guide you away from making harmful mistakes. WOW! I wish I could go home again.
I left home... (read in full...)
It's tempting to leave home right now. I can (just about) wait. Have I got it all wrong?
Q. Hello, I'm a 17 year old girl. I live with my parents in a nice house in a small town in England. We have a cat and a goldfish pond. And to be totally honest, I'm gonna go insane if I stay here too much longer. Don't get me wrong - I apprecia...
A. 9 July 2008: With your parents it is clean, warm, safe, you don't have to struggle making money to eat, have a place to live, or pay bills...and they are there to guide you away from making harmful mistakes. WOW! I wish I could go home again.
I left home... (read in full...)
My boyfriend always ogles younger girls!
Q. Hi everyone! I have an ongoing issue, and I have sadly reached a conclusion. But I need input. My boyfriend is 12 yrs younger than me. I am 53 and he is 41. We have been living together for 2 yrs. The issue is that he ogles younger girls when...
A. 9 July 2008: Thanks everyone for taking the time to answer my plea for help. I am going to work towards getting rid of him... I am tired of being in a unhappy situation, and life is too short! THANKS AGAIN!... (read in full...)
Can men really be horrible to a woman they really like?
Q. I have read somewhere that soemtimes men CAN really seem as if they hate you and do everything they can to be nasty but deep down its becasue they like you. Is this true? Because I have to admit soemthing happend recently to make me think th...
A. 8 July 2008: Sounds to me as though he may have some demons to tame. Like maybe women have hurt him so much in the past, that now his relationship are in the "Love - Hate" mode.
If you haven't been with him for too long, maybe you should think about "Bai... (read in full...)
I found explicit text messages on my bf's phone, and it's eating away at me!
Q. I recently went through my boyfriend's cell phone after an argument, and found some very detailed explicit sex messages indicating some oral sex acts he performed on her and how she wanted to do certain sexual things to him again. He does not know ...
A. 14 May 2008: I Feel really bad for you. It sounds to me as though you should let him go. Because if he is seeing other women, you two are apparently over.
I would confront him with this. At least to satisfy yourself in letting him know that you are aware of h... (read in full...)
Should I try to contact him?
Q. Ok, sorry if this is long! I met this guy back in january this year when he was building my neighbours kitchen. I asked him for his number and we spoke everyday after he finished work and he wudnt leave my road until about 7 each night (finished ...
A. 13 May 2008: I think that guys should chase after the girls, not the girl going after the guy. If he were interested, he would have asked you for your number.
If I were you, I would leave it alone. There are plenty of guys out there. Let THEM be the purs... (read in full...)
I think my friends have spread rumours about me...should I forgive or plot to get even?
Q. Today at school my friend really hurt me. Her and this boy went and told everyone that i am not a virgin. It's really affecting me becasue people are calling me slag and becasue i am normaly quiet and keep out the way people are saying "its always ...
A. 13 May 2008: I went through the same thing when I was your age.
Don't seek revenge. The only thing that would cause is escalation. In other words... making thing worse. Instead, go to her, face to face. Alone. Make sure that she also is alone. In fact... (read in full...)
Do you consider race a factor when choosing a partner?
Q. I'm a African-American male that likes all types of women. The women I used to be with are Latinos. I do not really care about ethnicity because if you look for someone that understands your needs and your strives, that someone may not be your color ...
A. 13 May 2008: Race doesn't matter. Either you love each other or not. The only thing is... can you deal with how other people will react to the two of you being together? Some people can be very rude. Sometimes family members can also make things difficult for ... (read in full...)
Do you consider race a factor when choosing a partner?
Q. I'm a African-American male that likes all types of women. The women I used to be with are Latinos. I do not really care about ethnicity because if you look for someone that understands your needs and your strives, that someone may not be your color ...
A. 13 May 2008: Race doesn't matter. Either you love each other or not.
Culture does matter sometimes, when it comes to dating or being married to someone who is from a different country. I had a friend who was married to a man from South America. Because of c... (read in full...)
Problem with snooping - but it leads me to suspicious things, should I keep confronting my husband?
Q. I have a problem with snooping, i will be upfront about it, but the only reason I keep doing it is I always find something, but not anything concrete and my husband always has a great story for instance I found a print out of a conversation between ...
A. 13 May 2008: These things sound very suspicious to me too. You may not like my answer, but I will be bluntly frank about what I think.
He sounds like the type who is a habitual womanizer. Some men are like this. The quest of variety. You have a few choi... (read in full...)
He's asked me to hang on, but I don't know if he'll ever break up with her!
Q. I am 27 years old, I met this guy 2 months ago, we talk everyday for hours and really like each other. He says he has a girlfriend in another country whom he can't marry for culture reasons and wants me to hang on. I dont know if he will ever break ...
A. 13 May 2008: If I were you, I would give the "hang on" stage a TIME LIMIT. I was in a simular situation once, I gave it 6 months, and I stuck to it. It all worked out before the time limit was up.
My advice to you, is don't hang on for a looooooong time, beca... (read in full...)
I'm so deeply hurt and desperately need some wise advice.
Q. Hi everyone, I would truly appreciate some advice/opinions on a really upsetting situation that I have recently found myself in. You won't believe the unbelievable piece of bad luck that I and my girlfriend just experienced... I'm 31, my girl...
A. 6 May 2008: Uh...Hum! Like you said, this happened BEFORE you dated her. You are just embarrassed right now. Give her some credit for being SMART enough to dump him after she found out what he was really like.
GET OVER IT! ... (read in full...)
I shut down about a year ago and no longer want to be with him. How can I get him to understand it's over for me?
Q. My husband and I have been married for over ten years and during this time he has let me down over and over again. He is irresponsible, a cheater (caught one time), lacks motivation and always says he is going to work on things. I shut down abo...
A. 6 May 2008: The house is YOUR name, I think you can contact a Magistrate and get an order against him to force him to move.... (read in full...)
I cant seem to get over the fact that his last girlfriend was a stripper!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year now but i cant seem to get over the fact that his last girlfriend was a stripper. Something about it always makes me sick to my stomach. Whenever i think about it or hear something about a ...
A. 29 April 2008: It doesn't matter what someone's occupation is, they are human too and they need love just like everyone else.
A stripper was his last girlfriend... so what. He is with you now.... (read in full...)
What is going on in my marriage?
Q. I've been married for 22 yrs. to a very wonderful man that any woman would be lucky to have. January 1 we had a bad fight that caused him to withdraw from me for two months now. He says that he loves me and always will but since that day the love is ...
A. 21 March 2008: My ex husband and I fought about certain things. Not another woman, but about him not wanting to put my name on any properties that he owned, and about him not looking out for my future by making a "Will." I began to feel that he wasn't looking out ... (read in full...)
He stopped constantly asking for sex which I said no to before.. I'm confused.. Why doesn't he ask anymore?
Q. Ive been dating my bf for like 2 months now. For about the first month he would constantly ask me to have sex with him and I kept saying no because I wasnt ready. In a way i felt under pressure, yet now hes stopped asking me and its confusing me! ...
A. 21 March 2008: Have you noticed that he isn't as affectionate towards you also? Have you noticed that he is starting to isolate himself from you more & more?
When someone is rejected enough, it kills the desire. And I feel also that it kills the love. You ... (read in full...)
Why is my friend so mean to me?
Q. one of my best freinds keeps on insulting me, she will say somthing about the way i look, once she said "i am fit you're not" and "that boy you like will say you are ugly"at the time i just laughed it off but now thinking about it i feel hurt that ...
A. 21 March 2008: She doesn't sound like a friend. Yes, she is jealous of you and wants to tear down your Self Esteeme. When someone is jealous of you, deep down inside it is a "hate" feeling. I agree with other people who answered before me, who told you to get ... (read in full...)
What steps do I take now to be with him again later if his current relationship ends?
Q. have you ever rekindled a relationship with an ex boyfriend? He ended the relationship to be with someone else but I still love him and know that my feelings will be the same in the future. what steps i take now to be with him later if his current ...
A. 21 March 2008: I don't mean to sound disheartening, But if he ended the relationship with YOU to be with SOMEONE ELSE, it is futile to think that you and him will be together again.
I was in 2 different relationships that I left someone to be with someone else... (read in full...)
My husband went abroad for work and tells me it's too difficult for me to join him yet...could he be cheating?
Q. My husband left me and went abroad to work after one month of our marriage,its been one and a half months since he has gone and till now he is showing no signs of calling me there. Before going he said he wont take more than few weeks but its been ...
A. 18 March 2008: Suprise Visit... Suprise I'm here! Missed you baby!... (read in full...)
Does my partner's daughter like me? Ways to eliminate the stress this is causing?
Q. Hi all hope someone can help, I have been living with my partner now for 3 years and we have a beautiful baby boy. We have our ups and downs like any other couple that are in love. My problem is her daughter, she is 16 and I am 34 but look i...
A. 18 March 2008: You be the adult, she is a child. Stay away from her. Show your partner a lot of affection in front of her... if she has a crush on you, she will get the message.... (read in full...)
He hacked into my email and copied them onto his PC!
Q. My boyfriend lied to get me back and I found out. Now what? We were split up for months, I loved him but was tired of the fighting. He continued to call and write. Finally, tired of being lonely and missing him, I tried to be honest with him and ...
A. 15 March 2008: I was not saying that it is your fault that he is insecure, I was only saying to help him with it if you want to be with him, hi insecurity is not your fault.... (read in full...)
A supportive husband
Q. My wife is 38 and a talented performer (singer and actress) who couldn't pursue her career when she was younger because she had a controlling first husband and abandoned her dreams. Now, she would like to pursue her "last chance" to make it. She ...
A. 15 March 2008: I can understand why your wife wants to look more youthful, even though she is very talented. The music industry seems to focus on bringing in attractive young talented people. I know a girl who also is very talented, but cannot get a record deal ... (read in full...)
He hacked into my email and copied them onto his PC!
Q. My boyfriend lied to get me back and I found out. Now what? We were split up for months, I loved him but was tired of the fighting. He continued to call and write. Finally, tired of being lonely and missing him, I tried to be honest with him and ...
A. 15 March 2008: He sounds as though he is madly in Love with you. At our age, we have been through a lot of things in our lives, which sometimes reflects onto our present relationships. Evidently, he has been cheated on before. And if there are problems in your ... (read in full...)
Are my thoughts normal?
Q. I do not have a specific question, but I want to know if there are other women who share my thoughts and feelings and whether I am normal. I have only become sexually active for about a year, and have not once been able to have an orgasm. Sometime...
A. 15 March 2008: When I was your age, I felt the same way about sex. And, I didn't really like sex until I hit 50. Pathetic isn't it? ha ha.
In your age group, young men don't know a thing about pleasing a woman, and probrably don't even care. All I think that they... (read in full...)
How can I walk past him now?
Q. i need help me and my boyfriend just broke up but im still in love with him, i thought he was the one, its going to be hard walking past him at school now knowing were not together. what can i do i love him so much...
A. 15 March 2008: I have been in your situation a dozen times. You think that he is THE ONE at this moment, but you will meet someone else and feel the same way about him, then after him you will meet someone else... and on..and on ... and on..
What I am saying is t... (read in full...)
It would be difficult to leave my husband, but could I be happy seeing this other guy?
Q. I have been married for 30 years, 3 children and 2 grandchildren. My husband needs to take medicine for Bipolar, which he refuses. He is not really any part of this house other than he works and comes home. That is all he thinks is neccacerry for a ...
A. 15 March 2008: I relate a lot to your story. I was unhappily married for 17 years, but no children.
Does this guy show any "feelings" for you? Is it possible that he is just being friendly? Can you support yourself if you leave your husband? Think about thes... (read in full...)
I slept with my boyfriend's best mate!
Q. Please help me, I slept with my boyfriend's best mate at a party at his house, I love my boyfriend very much but I think I'm in love with his best mate and I think about him a lot but I love my boyfriend to bits as well. My friends have told me I ...
A. 15 February 2008: Naughty girl! But everyone makes mistakes. Especially when you are young. We all have done things that we regretted doing, after the fact. Hopefully you learned a lesson from this one. You may have no other choice but to move on some time in the ... (read in full...)
Is she confused, scared or have commitment issues?
Q. I am writing this because I am currently at a point where I do not know what to do. My girlfriend and I broke up two weeks ago and I have given her the space she has needed however it is still hard to understand why she broke up. We have some ...
A. 14 February 2008: You always see eye to eye? WOW, that must scare her even more! To meet her soulmate, and being afraid of being hurt by you. Hang on my friend, it will be like "Taming a wild horse" LoL ... except THIS horse isn't 'wild', just scared.
Good Luck... (read in full...)
Do you think I'm being selfish here?
Q. Dear Cupid, Am I being selfish? I have a boyfriend who I've been with for 4 years and we have a son together. now the whole time that i was with him all he really spend on me was about 100-200 dollars. THE WHOLE TIME. he dont work or anything...
A. 13 February 2008: You may not like this answer, let me apologize for it before hand. LoL. But I feel that you need honesty and frankness. So therefore, my answer will be similar to the answers before me.
It sounds to me as though you have 2 children to take care... (read in full...)
My BF wakes up with an erection. What's up with that?
Q. My b/f sometimes wakes up with a huge erection but insists that he's "not in the mood" for sex and though it puts me in the mood, I really can't get him interested so we just end up cuddling and talking and eventually his erection goes away. But I ...
A. 13 February 2008: Men get an erection in the morning without wanting sex, because, well, they have to 'wee wee.' You know, go to the bathroom. LoL. I have had boyfriends like that, I asked why, and that is the explanation that was given to me.... (read in full...)
Is she confused, scared or have commitment issues?
Q. I am writing this because I am currently at a point where I do not know what to do. My girlfriend and I broke up two weeks ago and I have given her the space she has needed however it is still hard to understand why she broke up. We have some ...
A. 13 February 2008: I have had the same emotional problems as your girlfriend. So I feel as though I can shed some light on this issue.
It sounds to me as though she is afraid of getting hurt, so therefore she wants to throw the first punch. Make sense?
I will giv... (read in full...)
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